You’re Not in Kansas Anymore Dorothy

“I Love and Admire You Dorothy.
Always Have.
Always Shall.

You are an American Icon.”


“And Thank You For Being My Teenage Fantasy Crush”


So Much Class!

So Much Class!

And Oh So Very Very Beautiful & Talented! And Charming!

Vid Cred: Wat Bradford (Bravo Wat! Brilliant Choice of Music!)


I remember watching this ‘Live’

I was mesmerized.

From That Moment On…

No Woman could EVER Live Up to Dorothy… In My Simple Mind.


Fun Fact; Dorothy is near-sighted. This is why the astute observer will notice her squint at the end of this vid.

Yet, She would not be denied Her Dream in spite of her physical limitations. She overcame them.

“Tenacious” is the appropriate descriptor here.

Perfect American Woman (And should set an Example for all us to follow Today)

“Upon her return, Fassi discovered Hamill was nearsighted and had her fitted for glasses. The glasses, with wide lenses so she could see her figure patterns on the ice, later set a fashion trend.”


(You’re Welcome)


Sassy & Sexy & Classy

Sexy & Sassy & Classy

I love ‘Sexy & Sassy & Classy

Vid Cred: GoldenAgeofFS

Beautiful, Wonderful, Charming, Class Act… Dorothy:

Sorry Kids; Had To Drop This in—

Just Properly Illustrates How My Mind Doesn’t Work


A very young Dorothy
(Rare Footage)

Et Oui, Je Parle Française

Vid Share Cred: ‘floskate’
(Thank You)




Dorothy Could Have Done Anything.

Been Anything.

Thank God She Chose to Give Us Her Art!

The Perfect American Woman.

She Was The Quintessential American Dancing Queen.

The Below is Slightly Tongue-in-Cheek

(All I Could Find, But Y’all Catch My Sincere Sentiment Drift–Don’t you?)

I LOVE This Movie! The Reasons Should Be Blatantly Obvious! And To Quote Forrest: “That’s All I’m Gonna Say About That.”

I Have Started (And Re-Started) This Movie Five Times, But I Cannot Get Thru It…

Why? You May Rightfully Ask.

Because I Have The Attention Span Of A Drunken Gnat–

Sad, But True.


Seriously (Not Seriously) Related:

Read More About It Below

(If’n Ya Wanna, That Is)


Useless Information From Your Humble Author/Thief:

The Philadelphia Experiment is a 1984 American science fiction film. It is directed by Stewart Raffill and stars Michael ParéBobby Di CiccoKene Holliday and Nancy Allen and based on the urban legend of the Philadelphia Experiment. In 1943, United States Navy sailors David Herdeg (Paré) and Jim Parker (Di Cicco) are thrown forward in time to the year 1984 when a scientific experiment being performed aboard the USS Eldridge suffers a catastrophe. The film follows the two men as they attempt to survive the future and race against time to put an end to the experiment that now threatens the fate of the entire world.

This Bares Repeating–I Love Writers! Real, Wanna-Be, Aspirational, Sincere, Even Just Wanna-Be Writers. (As am I) I Am Proud To Read, And To Walk Among Them.

I Love Ever’Thang About What We Try To Be As Writers, How We Support One Another,

As Opposed To The ‘Drive-by Likers’ Y’all Know The Ones: They Go To WP Reader and Clik ‘Like’–

Never Even Reading The Post They Just ‘Liked’

Young writer searching inspiration, with an old typewriter.

Personal case in point:

Few hours ago, I got thirty ‘Likes’ within the short span of three minutes. Now, I, as most of you, generally post stuff that takes, at-the-very least, sixty seconds to peruse, longer to read, longer still to write a relevant, germane, thought-out thoughtful comment.

Y’all see where I am going with this?


I Detest ‘Drive-By Likers. Thank My God (I Can Co-op God, even as a ‘Devout’ Atheist)) I Thank God, I Have Been ‘Bless’d With a State-of-the-Art Bullshit Detector

Who Are Usually Just tryin’ to Sell Some Snake Oil for Flattering A Newbie, Just Tryin’ To Get Started With Bloggin. I HATE Drive-By Likers Trying to Fleece The Nativity of The Younger Amongst Us. Gus

I am NOT In The Market For Snake Oil Or Magic Beans. Honesty Is All I Will Tolerate. And If You Doubt The efficacy of My BullShit Detector, well… Try Me

Honesty is Sometimes a Lonely Word

Cred… Guess. Y’all Think I am Gonna Do ALL the Work? Think Again


I Love Our Writer/Blogger Brother/Sister In The Hood, Hood.

Just Wanted To Get That Out There…

For Posterity.

Wonderful World of Worthy Writers!

Real, For Reals Writers

We are, each of us, all of us, complicated, worthy people, full of brightly brilliant ideas, passionate passions, boundless potentials and infinite possibilities.

We are “Writers,” which makes us just a little bit different, special, and weird.

(In a very good way)

We each have our own personal foibles, strengths, weaknesses, levels of humanity, quirks, degrees of sanity, degrees of insanity, levels of intelligence, variances of meanness, variances of kindness, oscillating magnitudes of mood, cascades of creativity, brilliance of brevities, vacillating verbosities, and on and on…

In short we are all individuals possessing something unique that only each unique one amongst us can share.

And THAT, My Dear “Special Writer-Friends” is what makes this vocation so Magical.

And so very fulfilling and so very rewarding.


Ninety-Nine Percent of my Writing is Autobiographical.

And I know from visiting the Blogs, that most of my Fellow Writers, at the very least, Write a good deal of same.

For me, I find it healthy and cathartic.

Your mileage may vary.

But remember Socrates’ renowned statement,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Content Credit: “School of Life”


Some of us have our own personal agendas.

Some of us do not.

Yet, We, each and every one of us, is worthy: Agenda Full, or Agenda Empty.

Honestly, I am fresh out (of agendas) currently, but I am shopping for one to rent.


Upon ‘Sober’ Reflection…

(Yes! I have Quit for Good, The Drinking–Having Chosen Life Over Death Because I still have years and years and years worth of shit I want, need, to write and to share.)

Yes! Upon sober reflection, I realize I DO have an agenda after all: My ‘agenda’, modest as it may appear, is to spread a little joy and deliver a bit of enrichment into the people’s lives who honor me by investing some of that most valuable, finite commodity we ALL share:


I work very diligently not to waste even one single moment of yours, because there is no such thing as a ‘Money-Back-Time-Guarantee’.

“Love It, Or We’ll Refund All Your Time Spent. With Interest. No Questions Asked! Guaranteed!”

Sorry. Don’t work that way.

Some of us are Brilliant, Talented Writers.

Some us are just getting started and may need advice from time to time. Just ask; you will most likely get an inbox overflowing full.

“So, You Want To Be A Writer?”

Street Cred for Vid: Shea, Et al.


Some of us are polished, published, poets, prose-writers, playwright professionals, some of us are copywriters, some of us are even journalists, some of us are a combination of a few or of them all.

Some of us have genetic talent.

Some of us must work harder at it.

Most of us suffer Writer’s Block from time to time:

Content Credit: “Ivan Kander”


But the fact that we are all here, grinding out word after word,

Proves our worth and our respect for our craft.

And the Fact that you are reading these words right now proves you have respect for your fellow writers in Our Wonderful Writer’s Community

I think what my ‘message’ is trying (and most likely failing) to eloquently say… is that I love the writers in my fellow writer community.

We all have worth.

(Well except for that worthless schmuck who don’t like Lenny Bruce… and Y’all know I am even just kidding on that.)

“Thank You Mask Man”

Video Share Credit: ThankYouMaskedMan1


Not Really!

Never kid About Comedy; Comedy is Serious Business!

Never Joke About Lenny; Lenny is Serious Business!

And if Y’all Think I’m a Serious Person, and not joking, I am gonna purchase you a one-way ticket to ‘The Re-Education, Never-Take-Lance-Too-Seriously Gulag Facility’, recently re-modeled and up-graded–it has running water now.

And Gulag Goulash Every Saturday Night.

–Lance, Your Humble & Worthy Servant, Who Loves, and Respects, All of ‘Y’alls’.


Bonus ‘Added Value’

Shakespeare & Marlowe:

Credit: Miramax

The Sky Is Falling! Ukraine is Falling! America Is Falling! (Thanks Joe–You Dumb Asshole!)

Chicken Little … Sky is Falling

Cred Fer Share: KukuCartoons


What do the U.S. Do?


Absolutely Nothing.



Kiss My Ass

Lame-Ass Sanctions? Excuse Me!

“Joseph Biden, You are an idiot!”

Fuk u Sleepy Joe!

Here’s Uncle Joe; He’s A’ Movin’ Kinda

Slow At The Junction / Mal-Function

I Have Forgotten From Whom I Stole This. I HATE When THAT Happens!


I am so pissed Off!

I Know People From Ukraine

Have supped and dined with them–shared some Laughter.. (And Wine).

Sensitive/Not Sensitive! My Muse has Left Me. For Permanent!. She Is Returning to Olongapo City, Or Wherever-The-Fu*k She Originated ‘From’—Good Riddance!

She was always a pain in the ass anyhow.

“Bon Voyage Bitch.”

I’m fucking sensitive



(And I’d like to remain that way)

So if you are not ‘on-board’ with that, get the fuck outta my life.

Because I will wreck your train.

I will derail your ‘Vain Train.’

(I certainly have ‘derailed’ mine.)

I am a fucking “professional” at derailing trains.

Also pretty well-versed in Train-Wrecks

I will sink your fucking shit (and your ship).

I will burst yer bubble.

I will destroy your expectations and any aspirations you may have had for me.

I would not give you a dime.

But I would give you the shirt off my back.

Because I care.

About humans.

And my character flaw

Is that I am generous.

To a fault.


But In short:

I am an asshole.

(And I’d like to stay that way)

The only one forced to live with Lance is Lance.

(And of Course MS Muse)

And she ain’t  too fucking happy with her Indentured Servitude And she finally has had enuff.

But fuck her!

I paid her!


I fed her.


Never ‘bedded’ her.

(Wanted to)

I missed her before she even got into her car.

“I have done a curs’d thing.”

I don’t need to hit you over the head by dropping in the lyrics.

Pretty certain if you are HERE you appreciate SMART.

And if not.

Get the fuck off my page.

Go look for something mundane.

And have a nice fucking day.

Oh! and please be careful with me:

I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.

“She Was My Better Half–Story Of My Life!



Added Value:

Schmucks ‘R’ Us (Actually, Just Me) Never Y’all. NOT Casting Stones From MY Glass Mouse House. Oh Hell No! Not I, or… “Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin”

“Dance to the Music!”


The Movie


“Lance, this is your life.”


Sly Stone

The Coolest Man


(And one of the Coolest Bands Ever!)

Boom laka-laka-laka, Boom laka-lak-goon-ka boom

Take me to that “Higher Plane of Existence”

Lance is a stellar wanna-be-over/under barrel achiever–kinda like a shotgun


But in reality, just a


(But at least I am ‘schmuckable’—and sometimes even lovable—but not very often)


I dream at night great posts.

Try to take mental notes.

Wake up.

They gone!

Great post is gone with the Wine and the Sunshine, and the Harsh Light of Day…

I have written some awesome shit in my sleep.

Lost it all.


“But Tomorrow is Just Another Day”

Ain’t it?

Les’ hope so.


Added ‘Added Value’

I wanna grow up to be this guy

He ain’t no schmuck!

“So you wanna-be a fucking writer?

Good luck Schmuck!”

Vid Cred: Shea et al.