Category Archives: Writing

I do Regret My Profound Stupidity. “The She Marine” And Yes, I Am Painfully Aware: I’m An Idiot Moron. No Need To Verbalize it–Beat Me Over The Head With It. Fuk U Word-De-Pressed

by

2

I am struggling, struggling, to catch up.
To Catch up With My Life.
It seems to be running away from me.

As Fast as it can,

Not Un-Like A Scalded Rabbit

***

I still love her And Always Respect Her

Unlike…

Not too pretty

But a beautiful smile…

“Outside the sun is up

And the wind blows me like a paper cup

Down the Highway”

***

Hazel eyes…

I still love her

August 26, 2021

From my recent posts on facefuck:

I have been asleep for the past eight hours. I am scrambling to catch up. Marines are dead? WTF has happened?

Marines are dead? What happened? Sailors (Me) and Marines (them) oil and water. But Gd’damn it! Brothers/ sisters in arms. Fuck happened? I am struggling to catch up.

Transcribed from a Facebook IM Chat session I recently had with my best (perhaps only) Friend:

“Talking to you about Great Mistakes Naval Training Center reminded of a pleasant memory…

Of A Woman—I know—difficult to fathom while listening to all my other ‘Sea-Stories’, but this one is a ‘no-shitter.’ Just trust me.

There were no less than two-thousand sailors stationed at Great Mistakes… but only one Marine: a beautiful young She-Marine.

She stood out!

Far From The Madding Crowd!

Easy to spot from half a clik away—she wore camouflaged fatigues.

Now, you can only begin to understand the fascination this young She-Marine held for the rest of us…

(I may need to write more on her Odyssey. She was the quintessential elusive butterfly—two thousand sailors just wanted to get close enough to speak to her—during the six months she was there—I hope she landed well)

To my knowledge, no one ever got close enough to discover her name; we just always called her “The Marine.”

No one, and I mean no ONE, ever accosted her.

For if someone ever had, that moment would have been his last.

For you see, we were all very protective of her.

And she was protected.

Very well protected, even if she didn’t know it.

(Turns out, she finally did–come to know it–thanks to a moron.

Which moron?

I’ll give you three guesses, but you’re only gonna need one)

None of us harbored any vain fantasies regarding her.

She had become everyone’s…

To respect and keep safe & sound & sheltered…

From an always respectful distance.

****

On my very last morning at Great Lakes Naval Training Center, before I was to muster out and ship off to San Diego/Coronado for BUD/s – SEAL training, I found myself in the Chow Hall for one last ‘delicious’ Navy Breakfast.

If memory serves it was about 0630 hrs.

I went through the cow, er.. Chow- Line, grabbed a cuppa Joe, or Fred, or Jane—don’t matter—it all tasted the same.

Walking about, looking for a table, I spied MS Marine, seated all alone, laconically, rather absent mindedly, stirring her scrambled, powdered eggs (a Navy delicacy).

I Thought, ‘What the hell?’

Walked over to her table and asked, “May I join you?”

She looked up and said, “Yes. Yes, of course.”

*****

Now, please allow me to explain something.

At this point in my life, I had already been around the world.

I had seen, loved, and un-loved more women than it may be prudent for me to admit.

But this one, this Lady Marine—actually not much more than a girl—full of hope and promise, was not terribly beautiful, but she had that ‘certain charme’ –en Francais.

Kinda semi-short blonde locks, ‘bout five foot nothin’, wonderful blue eyes, and she smiled at me.

She smiled at me!

****

I took a seat across from her, set my tray down, extended my hand and said,

“My name’s Lance.”

She took my hand, smiled again and said, “My name’s Mandy.”

(Of course it is, I thought—fits my ‘Mandy’ Profile—see my ‘Mandy Post’ for read –more-about-it-info)

“Nice to meet Y’all Mandy”

Yeah, I like to dazzle ‘em with my Texan-ness—My only claim to fame.

I continued, “Mandy, pardon me for being so bold, but I am compelled to ask you something, if I may.”

She picked up her coffee and said, “Sure. Go ahead.”

“First of all, you do realize you are unique here, yes?”

“Not sure I get your meaning,” she replied.  “I am not the only female stationed here.”

“This is true Mandy, but you are the only Female Marine stationed here.”

“You said you had a question?”

“Uh, yes…” (I could tell ‘The Corps’ had already installed into her a very good, state-of-the-art, ‘Bullshit Detector’—and little patience for doe-eyed Sailors)

“Uh…yeah. I… just, it seems… uh, it seems you are a bit ‘down’. Why?”

She looked me dead in my eyes, and as any good, steely-eyed Marine would, with nothing to fear said,

“You said I was unique here. I concur. I am. I am ‘unique’ in the fact that none of the men ever talk to me here—for six months—I am a normal girl. Nothing wrong with me. I see the sailors talking to all the female Navy Corpsmen Students. Laughing, carrying on. Yet I am left alone. Why?”

This is when I realized that by worshiping this young girl from the distances, we had done her an unkindness, or worse.

I tried, poorly, to explain how all that had happened.

She glared at me, briefly. Then I caught a trace of tears in her eyes.

She picked up her coffee once again, took a sip, set it down, abruptly stood up, grabbed her tray and said,

“Thank you for telling me Lance, but you should’ve told me months ago. Good luck with your Naval career. Oh, and by the way, I noticed you many times. You seemed to be a leader, with some maturity. I often wondered if you would ever come and speak to me. Guess you were never in a hurry to do so.”

I stared at her back as she was walking away.

And I was suddenly saddened.

We, all of us, had done this wonderful young woman a horrible disservice.

To this day, I still remember her lovely face and her brief smile at me.

And the way she carried herself so well.

And her piercing parting words as she disappeared forever,

Except from my memory.“

*****

There must be a lesson somewhere to be learned here.

******

This could’ve been my fulfilled vain fantasy.

With Mandy-the-Marine

If I had just opened my eyes.

For a moment.

***********

Doesn’t really fit my narrative.

But it could.

If we had hooked up.

****

Flash forward ten years:

She still young at heart and still a Marine.

Me, older, not still a Sailor. And boring to her.

Linda, “Hasten Down The Wind”

**********************

Addendum, final thoughts,

and…

Bonus ‘Added Value’:

First, I love MY Country.

Second, I was honored to Serve My Country

Third, Even though Marines & Sailors mix like oil and water, there is a mutual respect shared there.

Fourth, I never let any Marine I ever met forget that the USMC ‘works’ for the U.S. Navy.

(Got my ass kicked more than a few times for relating that paralyzed fact)

Go Navy!

Beat Army!

“Hey Jarhead! Fetch me a water!“

With true Marine efficiency, I got three, count ’em, three bottles of water immediately bounced off my dome ever’ time I said that.

(And from three different directions!)

But, I’d keep sayin’ that!

“Uh… If I Keep[ Re-Posting Shit It Is Becase I Am Drunk And I Want People To Read It. Different—

by

3

Anybody Got A Match?

Same Title. I Have No Creative Writing Skills…Sorry, Anybody Got A Match?” Oh FU WordPress. I Give Up On The Editing Process. You Win!Yeah, I got a match:
Bogie and Bacall.


Bertie Higgins – “Key Largo”

“We had it all”

Then I Promptly Fu*ked It UP

Could be rightly said of ALL My Relationships with Women I Have Loved & Lost

I have ‘swerved’ once more into my love of Lauren ‘Bacal’ (Jewish spelling of her name before Hollywood COERCED her into changing it) and Bogie whirlwind of late.

****

Lauren Bacall, who died Tuesday (Aug. 12) at 89, had mixed feelings about her Jewishness. In “By Myself,” her autobiography, (Which I have read, cover to cover–twice)) she wrote that she “felt totally Jewish and always would,” yet chided herself for not being more open about her Jewish identity.

Below, five facts about Lauren Bacall’s Jewish life and — in her own words — how she felt to be Jewish:She was born Betty Joan Perske.

Bacall was born in Brooklyn to a Jewish family, but her Jewish-sounding name just wouldn’t cut it in the Hollywood of the 1940s and ‘50s. She changed it to a version of her mother’s family name, Weinstein-Bacal.

“It was a period when people believed that you demonstrated your Americanization by Americanizing your name, and very frequently, Americanizing your nose,” said Jonathan Sarna, professor of American Jewish history at Brandeis University.

“She did not hide the fact that she had these Jewish origins, but it was expected in Hollywood at the time that you would have an American name and persona,” he added.

***

Fun Fact:

I once wrote a term paper for the head of the English Department at ETSU. Unbeknownst to me, he was writing an autobiography on Humphrey Bogart at the time. Had I known this, I most probably would not have written my term paper on Bogie and Becall.

But then again, I probably would have anyhow….

And I received an A++ on my paper.

My Prof loved it.

It was a great paper.

Took me 45 minutes to write.

That is how I ‘rolled’ back then.

Always waited until the very last ‘minuet…’

***

Video credit: HollywoodClassics33 Returns

Great article. link below:

***

Just For Some “Further Reference:”

https://www.biography.com/news/humphrey-bogart-lauren-bacall-relationship-marriage?fbclid=IwAR29mwY13msWcV5Sa5zof3mvbl-Lopb1AbsIYVx_QBGWABi5ItfIV1oGapYhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uy9R3ukJ64

I Have Offically Lost My Mind. But I Found it. FOUND IT! “How Little They Know”

by

2

Ferret’d Away Under My Mattress. HAHAHA! Older Version, But Who Gives A Flyin’ Fuk At This Point? This Begs A ‘Re-Look’ “Anybody got a Match?” A Lit Match To Torch This Stupid Post

Bertie Higgins – “Key Largo” 

I Had It All, But As Usual, I Somehow

Managed To

Fuck Things Up

Lauren Bacal

So Stunningly Drop-Dead Beautiful

“Anybody got a match?”
Yeah, I got a match:
Bogie and Bacall.

I have ‘swerved’ once more into Lauren ‘Bacal’ (Jewish spelling of her name before Hollywood COERCED her into changing it) and Bogie whirlwind of late.

****

Lauren Bacall, who died Tuesday (Aug. 12) at 89, had mixed feelings about her Jewishness. In “By Myself,” her autobiography, (Which I have read, cover to cover–twice)) she wrote that she “felt totally Jewish and always would,” yet chided herself for not being more open about her Jewish identity.

Below, five facts about Lauren Bacall’s Jewish life and — in her own words — how she felt to be Jewish:She was born Betty Joan Perske.

Bacall was born in Brooklyn to a Jewish family, but her Jewish-sounding name just wouldn’t cut it in the Hollywood of the 1940s and ‘50s. She changed it to a version of her mother’s family name, Weinstein-Bacal.

“It was a period when people believed that you demonstrated your Americanization by Americanizing your name, and very frequently, Americanizing your nose,” said Jonathan Sarna, professor of American Jewish history at Brandeis University.

“She did not hide the fact that she had these Jewish origins, but it was expected in Hollywood at the time that you would have an American name and persona,” he added.

***

Fun Fact:

I once wrote a term paper for the head of the English Department at ETSU. Unbeknownst to me, he was writing an autobiography on Humphrey Bogart at the time. Had I known this, I most probably would not have written my term paper on Bogie and Becall.

But then again, I probably would have anyhow….

And I received an A++ on my paper.

My Prof loved it. Probably ’cause he was a Russian Jew.

Or Maybe not.

It was a great paper.

And he loved it.

(Of course I was drunk when I wrote it)

Took me all of 45 minutes to write.

That is how I ‘rolled’ back then.

Always waited until the very last ‘minuet…’

Bogie was forty-five when he met Bacal.

She was nineteen.

Perhaps there is hope for me yet…

Bogie an’ Baby

If there is just one thing the Navy taught me, it is this:

“No never means no”

“Nothing is ‘written’.”

This is how I got back into SEAL training when I was two years too old…

***

Oh

My

God!

She was/is beautiful!

***

One last ‘fun fact.’

In her book, Lauren described how she came up with

“The Look.”

She recounted of how she was so nervous…

when she played along side Bogie, she had to keep her chin tucked into her chest to keep from shaking uncontrollably.

She also tells the story of how the director, Howard Hawks told her she would have to sing in the movie.

She was mortified.

Lauren cannot sing.

She knew this.

But she did it anyway…

It was in the script.

And she was charming.

***

Video credit: HollywoodClassics33 Returns

Anybody Got A Match?

Great article. link below:

https://www.biography.com/news/humphrey-bogart-lauren-bacall-relationship-marriage?fbclid=IwAR29mwY13msWcV5Sa5zof3mvbl-Lopb1AbsIYVx_QBGWABi5ItfIV1oGapY

Must watch this below.

It relates!

Here is a clue

And some Nickles:

https://texantales.com/2021/08/22/hem/
https://texantales.com/2021/08/22/the-best-wife/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uy9R3ukJ64

***

Had to Add:

Street Cred for Vid: Somewheremaybe

I LOVE Amy Adams! Julie and Julia. And Yes! This Post is All-Fukked-Up! I May Try To Fix It Later, But Don’t Hold Yer Breath. See Ya Laters Alligators! Never Apologetic

by

0

This is one of the most charming movies from ‘semi recent’ times.

It works on all levels. It is a delight to watch.

P.S. I love Amy Adams. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.

(Meryl Streep ain’t no slouch neither)

And of course, this movie is all about ‘writing’ which hits so close to home for me, your humble servant.

“I can write a blog. I have thoughts.”–Julie

Added Value:

******

The Real Julie Powell

Julie Powell

Biography

(1973–)

  • APR 2, 2014

American author Julie Powell is best known for her blog, “The Julie/Julia Project,” and the Nora Ephron movie ‘Julie & Julia,’ which is based in part on Powell’s experience.

Who Is Julie Powell?

Writer Julie Powell received national attention for her blog, “The Julie/Julia Project,” which she subsequently adapted for a memoir. Nora Ephron wrote and directed a 2009 culinary comedy-drama, Julie & Julia, based on Powell’s work and the life of Julia Child in 1950s Paris. 

Early Life

Powell was born in Austin, Texas on April 20, 1973. She attended Amherst College in Amherst, Massachusetts, graduating in 1995 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in theater and dance/fiction writing. She later married Eric Powell, an editor at Archaeology magazine, and the couple settled in New York City.

“The Julie & Julia Project” Blog

Powell began her famous blog, “The Julie/Julia Project,” in 2002, at age 29. At that time, Powell was working an unfulfilling job at the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation, fielding phone calls relating to the aftermath of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at New York City’s World Trade Center. Powell began her blog with the intention of channeling her energy into a more fulfilling venture. The blog chronicled Powell’s attempt to prepare all of the dishes described in Child’s classic cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, in just one year.

Powell frequently invoked Child’s journey to her culinary career, as she personally searched for a more meaningful use of her talents. Despite the popularity of Powell’s blog, Child herself did not embrace Powell, describing her project as a stunt without culinary value.

Of Powell, Child said, “I don’t think she’s a serious cook.”

Powell has said that her experience with the blog led her to embrace her talents as a writer, rather than as a chef.

And despite Child’s opinion on the culinary value of Powell’s work, Powell was recognized with an honorary degree from Le Cordon Bleu, the Parisian culinary school that Child attended.

https://www.biography.com/writer/julie-powell

(Try The Inked In link In, link-in below.)

https://www.biography.com/writer/julie-powell

And of course, She is a Native TEXAN

(Born in Austin)

OF course SHE IS Texican aND hALF-m-ESICAN, aIN;T WE ALL?

Which makes her even more magical for me.

I lover her Atm an her Writing Charm

https://www.biography.com/writer/julie-powell

Ending song for this wonderfully, brilliantly done movie.

(Everything ‘works’ in this film)

It is Perfection

Vid Cred: Julia Tejero

*****

Bonus Cooking Scene Below

I drop this in

Just for the Grin

And for the Laughter Factor

This never will grow old for me..

“Call me back when you get them things cooked. I got a girlfriend.”

I love this shit.

Don’t watch Cable TV.

Not when you can find shit like this on the Internet.

WordPress Never Fails In Its Un-Dying Effort To Piss Me The Fuck Off. In Its Un-Dying, Always Trying, Never Failing, Never Falling, Perpetual Mission To PISS-ME-OFF!

by

2

Hate WP

Everyday Is A Brand-New Adventure with WP.

I shall not go gentle into that good night

Yet, I Continue go gentle into that good night To Fight.

Straight-Up, I apologize for my profanity.

But comma this is an adult site.

And ergo I am a sailor

And WP Tramples On-My-Last Nerve.

Simple Edits Are Impossible

Fuk Yu WordPress! Why Cannot You Make Shit That Works? I Pay Four-Hun-Dread Quid Per Year for This Shite? Fuckin’ Top-‘Tear’ Fuckin’ WP?

ALL THE GD BELLS AND WHISTLES???? You DUMB-ASS Mother-Fu*kin’ Cock-suckers Make Me Wanna Spit—In Yer Face! Really! No bullshit!

As Y’all May have surmised by now, WP has pissed me off yet again. Sorry for my profanity, but this is an adult site and I am a sailor

Try Me WP! I swear to God! Y’all Could Fu*k Up A Wet Dream! “My Humble Tribute To The Highwomen” & Johnny Cash

Hey WordPress!

Got a telegram for YOU!

An’ Ya Know Whut WP?

As Ron White Famouslously Sez:

“You Caint Fix

STUPID!”

Cred: Ron White (Duh!)

Author’s Note: Y’all wanna know why I am still up-in-Worpress’s Ass?

Be-Fuckin’ Cause

EVER’TIME

I try to

Upload,

Download,

Sideways Load,

Up-Side-down-load

Any Kind of LOAD

WP Gives Me ATTITUDE!

That’s Fuckin’ Why!

***

No Words:

HIGHWOMEN!

SEXY BEAUTIFUL PERFECTION!

***

I only recently discovered these gals via KETR—The Local NPR Radio Station here in Commerce—Run by The University. This is the Program that was playing— “Notably Texan.” My FAVORITE For Obvious Reasons.

“With the lofty mandate to curate the culture of Texas music, Notably Texan host Matt Meinke scours the state’s singers and songwriters, stars or not, and hand-selects the purest cuts of well-marbled entertainment for your daily listening pleasure.

The tempo, the style, the instrumentation, the genre – it doesn’t matter. The rules are simple – the songs need to have a Texas connection. Rock, rap, country, reggae, electronica, dub step, house, R&B – If the music helps to build an audio tapestry worthy of the Lone Star State, it’s got a shot on Notably Texan.”

I was on my way back from one of my ‘Booze-Run’ Missions when this song came on the program. I had to pull over to properly focus on it—This is how impressed and captivated and enamored I instantly was…

Try this version

It may not take three DAYS to Load!

And Hey!

WordPress!

Go GET

Fucked!

Use This

to

Fuk

Yerself!

Heaven May Be A Honky-Tonk

“There’s a choir singing in a southern accent, a fiddle in the band
There’s a “Hallelujah!” on the lips of every dying man
Mama, don’t you cry when they’re dead and gone
Jesus, he loves his sinners and heaven is a honky tonk”

(I do not know who The Rather Large Black Broad Who Joined The Girls on the Stage is–Trust Me: I looked–But Obviously, She Added added Value–Bravo For HER!)

And Bravo To The Highwomen!

Yeah, I am a ‘Closet Liberal’ And an ‘Out-of-the-Closet-Redneck’— And An Extremely Pro-Feminist–My Love of And For of Women is Very-Well Documented. I Never pull My Punches.

“Go Rocky!”

Yes, I am ‘complicated’–But Y’all knew this already.

Love me, or HATE Me. I really Don’t Give a Shit!

You do YOU.

And Embrace Your Opinions.

But only if You are Sincere.

And HONEST!

I am, if nothing else, HONEST!

I’m as Real as Real Can Get!

What You See, Is Exactly What You Get!

“The Highwomen are the rarest of country supergroups: a quartet who came together at the height of their popularity and creative powers, not when they were settling into their legacy. In that regard, the quartet of Brandi Carlile, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires, and Natalie Hemby differ from their knowing namesake the Highwaymen, a band Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and Kris Kristofferson formed in 1985, just as they started to drift down the charts.

When the Highwomen appeared in 2019, every member of the quartet was at a peak in her respective roots niche. Singer/songwriter

Carlile was fresh off winning three Grammy Awards and Morris was at the vanguard of country-pop, while Shires’ cult was growing thanks to the atmospheric Americana of To the Sunset and Hemby’s reputation as a country songwriter was at a peak, thanks to her contributions to Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour and Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings.”

Article Credit: ALLMUSIC

BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL Beauty

“Pulling up the floors and changin’ out the curtains
Some of us are saints and some of us are surgeons
Made in God’s image, just a better version
And breakin’ every Jello mold

And when we love someone, we take ’em to heaven
And if the shoe fits, we’re gonna buy 11
How we get it done, we like to keep ’em guessing
But secretly, we all know.”

I AM STARSTRUCK

FUN FACT: My Best GF, Highschool Sweetheart, once said to me, and I quote:

“Lance, You are so easily Starstruck.”

I had to beg to differ, but she was at least half-right–when I see talent combined with Beauty, I fall victim–it is a pleasant fall and an admitted failing of mine–I relish and truly appreciate people who add value and meaning to my life.

Enriches My So-Called Life

And Just For Reference:

I do hope Y’all Enjoyed Watching/Reading This Post As Much As I Loved Putting It Together.

LET’S JUST CALL IT “A LABOUR OF LOVE,” IF YOU WILL.

Cheers Y’all!

JUNE CARTER NEVER GOT THE FAME SHE DESERED

WITHOUT HER

THERE WOULD NEVER BEEN ANY

FUCKIN’

JOHNNY CASH!

Thanks to John Coyote for turnning me on to this one!

https://johncoyote.wordpress.com/

***

Awright!

I’m ‘Over’ My Rant for Now

But WP!

Don’t git too comfortable!

I ain’t Near done wid you yet.

I just needed to come up for some fucking air!

Becuz, quite frankly,

YOU

STINK

TO HIGH HEAVEN!

https://texantales.com/2021/10/23/re-das-boot-and-lenny-and-christopher-lives-again-be-afraid-be-very-afraid-sic/

Re-Read This One Just for My Word Press Rant! (It is Under or Below or Above My Rolling Stones Video) Fuck WordPress! ok AND I added some of My “Brilliant” Film Critic Commentary TOO! LMFAO!!!! (AND A WP Bashing vid just fer Shits and GRINS!)

https://texantales.com/2021/10/18/my-mind-has-left-the-building-insanity/
WORDPRESS IS FUKKIN’ STUPID!!!!!!!

I FUCKING

ADORE

REESE!

She Lights

My

FIRES!

***

AND BY THE MOTHER-FUCKER WAY!

HAY

(SEED)!

WHY IS MY INTERNET SO SLOW?!

I HAVE FIVE FUCKIN’ BARS

AND AM ON A RUNNING ON A

FOUR FUKKIN’

THOUSAND DOLLAR LAPTOP!

(No Bullshit! That’s what I paid for it! It has been to Iraq with me)

CHRIST-ON-A FUKKIN’ CRACKER!!!

I Still So Much Miss My Sis! I Will NEVER Allow Her Memory To Die.

by

4

God’ammit it! Why did she have to die? I Did NOT Giver My Permission To Die. Updated! Some Cali-Bashing! “ABBA, Joni, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, No Class NO Cash! Ne

I am Dying Inside Over My Remembrances of Her

:

“Hey Buddy, CAN You Spare a Dime?”

Yeah! I am trying to occupy (and distract) my mind with Beauty and Music.

(See previous posts if you do not know why this is requisite for me.)

Speaking of posts, and posting, This one is an unorganized, not edited, convoluted…. piece of shit.

(Screw it! I will NOT edit this. It was a ‘stream of consciousness! ‘If I ‘edit’ it, then it is shite, as a stream of consciousness.

And then would ring false. So I won’t fukkin’ edit it.

What you see is what you get. (I may go back and give ‘credit’ for all the vids/images I stole, but that ain’t ‘editing’– that is just not being an asshole.)

Read/Watch/Listen at Your Own Annoyance.

It is impossible to not notice…

To not notice…

How HAPPY Agnetha & Anni-Frid ARE IN this!

They LOVED IT!

And for that,

That STAGE PRESENCE!

I LOVED THEM!

(I suppose ‘The Boys’ were happy too.

But Lance don’t pay attention to the moods of boys—LOL!)

**************

This will be brief (I promise)

I have been (In Light, or in Dark, of my too recent loss)

HATE ASHBURY

I have been pondering…

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

(I believe some smart guy once said that)

Well, I been ‘prospectin’  down into MY Life.

Didn’t find no gold.

Didn’t find no silver.

Didn’t find no diamonds.

(Hangman! Hangman! Meet me at The Gallows’ Pole!”)

“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?”

(“Bring me your dead sister then.)

Yeah! I am sick… and bitter!

Didn’t find…

No Solace.

Found a box of rocks tho…

Note attached:

It read, and I quote:

“Lance, this is all your life represents. Have a nice day”

—God

“Oh, and never forget: Jesus Saves.”

–G

Saves what?

Green stamps?

“Hey God!

Go to Fuck Yourself!”

(I know the grammar is fucked, but THAT is how Gladys always verbalized it)

“Go to fuck yourself!”

(See Third paragraph for Gladys)

I loved her for her broken English.

Might be continued, but I doubt it…

*******

If you’re California Dreamin’…

Don’t. It was once a Magical Place,

Now it is just One More Shit-Hole! Trust me! I Know! I have been arould the World. Twice! I know most Places are Shit Holes! But California Was Always Different! No Mas! Now it is Just One More Shit-Hole! In a World Full of Shit Holes!

It ain’t the way it used to be!

Being The Sad Story and Lamentable Fate of the Good and Gracious Mister Peabody: A Turkey

As we used to say….In the Navvvyyyy! Cali…fornia or bust! Don’t hear that so much anymore.

While aboard a Haze-Gray-And-Underway Piece of Shit. We see the coast of CA and just keep steaming right on by.

Bye – Bye!! California!

(And NEVER EVER Call Her ‘Mama Cass’ In my earshot–Her name is ‘Cass Elliot’)

And Yes! I have been to Paris France!

No Less Than Ten Times!

If you’re California Dreamin’…

Don’t.

As we used to say….In the Navvvyyyy! Cali…fornia or bust! Don’t hear that so much anymore. While aboard a Haze-Gray-And-Underway Piece of Shit.

We see the coast of CA and just keep steaming right on by. Bye – Bye!! California!

(And NEVER Call Her ‘Mama Cass’–Her name is ‘Cass Elliot’)

******

Street Cred: Memology 101:

If you are a ‘good and astute observer’ you will see Kamala trying (and failing) to dance.

Free Bonus Track

(But Donations Greedily Accepted)

“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor.

Rich is better.”

–L. Marcom, Circa 2006

All The Leaves Are Brown
All The Leaves Are Brown