Ed. note 2021: My Third Wife, the Shakespeare one, once told me: Sade’s song is bullshit. “Hurts like brand-new shoes” as lyric does not work. Women in Somalia, never have brand-new shoes.”
I said back,
“Lisa, you really missed the point, didn’t you? I have been to Somalia. Have you?”
“Hello? “Is this GOD?” (My Phone Was Glowing–Natural Assumption–I knew instinctively it was not The BatMan. As we have been ‘On The Outs’ Ever Since I accused him of Fucking ‘The Boy Wonder”–Long story)
So, It must be God: He is the only one who ever calls me.
*Pregnant Pause*
So I repeated my question:
“Is this God?”
“Yes it is, My Son.”
“I ain’t your Son. That would be that ‘other’ guy.”
“Oh Sorry, Hey Zeus is the only one who ever calls me. What’s on your mind, My ‘Friend’? Oh wait! I called you. You seem to be stressed out these days.”
“I just have a couple of quick, simple questions.”
“Go on…”
“Why did you create gnats?”
God said, “Ask Pandora.”
So then I asked, “What’s up with this WuFlu? This all part of your ‘Devine Plan?'”