Tag Archives: Bonham Texas

Ex-Panda-X-PandeRRR-Re-Red, Re-Tread: — Please Re-Visit. “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Four– Stupid is as Stupid Does.” I Risked My Freedom For My Love of My Sister. Yep, But It Was Worth It.

by

6

(And NO! Gentle Readers, No One Was Harmed–I Had Planned It That Way!, You See?)

I Often, Too Often…

Felt Like A Mother-Less Child.

I Suppose That is Why I Clung To Madelyn So Tight–She Was The Only One I Trusted

(And Truly Loved)

Up-Date: After Some Exhaustive ‘Research On My Part, I Have Discovered There Ain’t No ‘Statute-Of Limitations (Nor Expectations) On My Part.

Arson is That Gift That Keeps on Givin’.

So, I Just say This–To The Police: “Come At Me Bros, But Be Thee Fore-Warned: I am Armed & And Dangerous

& Crazy

***

I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’—Bonham. LMFAO! (And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick) No Jesus. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw! Never-Mind! Find Some Other Tree To Bark At”

RIP!

Gavin DeGraw – Fire:

*****

After my encounter with the Texas Highway Patrol,

Madelyn’s car and I limped into Bonham–Somewat spittin’ an’ a sputtterin’.

I was spittin’; the car was sputterin’…

(Madelyn was never worth-a-shit at maintaining her vehicle, or me…)

I drove through the ugliest Town Square in Texas and pulled into the alley behind Richard’s Jeans.

Bonham! Gag Me!

The ONLY Saving Grace That Bonham Ever Had, or will Ever Have, is that Sam Rayburn Lived There

(and died there)

But He Wasn’t From There

He Was Born in Kingston, Tennessee

“Speaker Sam”

Sam Rayburn Library and Museum.

Bonham, Texas

*****

Parked the little Maddy Chariot, and ‘prayed’ it would crank when I was ready to depart.

Probably shoulda just left the engine running, but I ain’t all that smart.

Fished the key Madelyn had given me and walked around to the front door of the store.

Surveyed the square—weren’t no one there—was The Fourth of July, as I have said.

Let myself in.

Went back to the back door and let myself out.

Retrieved the lighter fluid from the car and went back inside.

I studied the layout of the store.

Several racks of jeans displayed in the middle of the establishment.

Perfect!

I douched two of them down with the lighter fluid.

Pulled out Maddy’s Zippo

Whoosh!

Beat feet out the back door.

Closed it behind me and then as an after-thought, I kicked it in.

Thinking I wanted this to look like arson.

Stupid decision on my part, looking back…

Anyhow, I jumped into The Lil Chariot.

Turned the ignition.

‘Clik clik clik!’

Shit!

Now, I was properly

FUCKED!

Stuck in the alley-way of a building I had just set to flame!

“Lucy, You got some Splainin’ to do!”

*******

Apparently, this was NEVER said in the Show–

This Revelation, Discovered so Late in My Life,

Has Ruined MY LIFE!

Street Cred for Vid: MoneyBags73

And YES!

I Searched All OVER The Internet!

Could NOT Find a Single Clip–Sound Nor Vid!

Shit!

What’s Next?

There Ain’t No Santa Claus??

Never Was?

And All That Wasted Postage I Mailed To a ‘Dead-Letter’ Box!

And Y’all Wonder Why Lance is an Atheist

********

I jumped out, popped the hood and, finding a piece of pipe lying on the ground, proceeded to beat the hell outta the starter. Slammed the hood.

Got back into the car and tried again.

She cranked right up!

I sped away in a cloud of dust and flying gravel.

Hoping Madelyn would love me so much more.

For Doing So Much More Than I Had Ever Done For Her Before

(If Y’all Don’t Read The Previous Chapters, None of This Will Make Any Sense–

Not That It Does Anyway…)

***

To Be Continued…

*****

Chapter Three:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

Chapter Two:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

Chapter One:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

*****

BONUS!

“Down The Road In A Cloud of SMOKE!”

JJ Walker

*****

“I Have Of Late, Though Wherefore I Know Not, Lost All My Mirth” There is too Much Macbeth/Hamlet/Coleridge Residing Within Me! ‘Tis A Curs’d Curse Albatross That Hangs About My Neck.

by

0

Sir Ian McKellen Reads

“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”

by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Brilliant!

Brilliantly Done Sir

Brilliantly

Done

Bravo!!

Cred For Share–So Where? Jeremy Neufeld

***

“Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store,” Chapter Five:

“I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Stay Away From Me! Lady Mac’Bee!”

(And Sister Madelyn–Leave My Thoughts–My Memories–

NO NO NO! I Did Not Mean That!

Why Did You Die On Me My B’Lov’d Sister?)

I’m Really Having a Bad Day, Problem Today! I Miss My Sister! “Twisted Duet (Just One More Madelyn Memory…)” I Was in Denial for Years! Now, recently, the dark, stark realization washes over me, I cannot deal with this! I Miss My Sis! I Miss My Sister!

Why???

Macbeth (Shakespeare) – Thug Notes Summary and Analysis:

*******

Cred for Vid: CorkShakespeare

I Have But Murdered Sleep

Sleep No More!

Cred For Vid Share: Emad Ozery

*******

I arrived back home in Honey Grove.

Entered thru the side door, as always.

Madelyn and Daddy were sitting at the little round Kitchenette  table watching Jeopardy or something.

I scurried past and hit the stairs.

Madelyn was hard on my heels.

We got to the third floor of Marcom Manor and I ran into my room.

Madelyn right behind.

“Did you do it?” she asked breathlessly.

I did not answer.

I turned on my little bullshit radio and dialed in the local Bonham radio station.

“Just wait” I said to her.

We waited.

After about four minutes, the announcer announced:

“Richard’s  Jeans downtown was completely destroyed by fire this afternoon.”

Maddy  threw her arms around me.

Almost Choking me.

“I love you Brother!”

“I know. Now you owe, Milady Macbeth“

“Huh?”

“Shut the fuck up. You know who / what you are.”

She kissed me again.

This time in Earnest

I damn near to swooned

“Maddy, I am not proud of this. I could have inadvertently, unintentionally killed someone!”

“But You didn’t. You Saved your sister’s ass.”

“You know I’d do anything for you”

“Yes, I know. This is you misfortune to bear.”

(Well-Documented How much I was in love- infatuated with her)

I am re-Posting This Because I am Still Missing My Sister and Wallowing In My Self-Pity “My TRUE Forever Sister (Sorry Ann)” And WORDPRESS IS PISSING ME OFF! CANNOT DELETE THE REDUNDANT POSTS IN THIS POST

********

Ohio Players – Fire

To Be Continued…

*****

“Look like th’innocent flower, But be the serpent under’t” or “Come you spirits, That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here.”

*****

Previously:

Ex-Panda-X-PandeR-red: 0534hrs, 11/11/2021– Please Revisit! “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Four” I added Some ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Speaker Sam’—Bonham. LMFAO! (And Lest I Forget: Ol’ Saint Nick) No Jesus. “Sorry God… Perhaps Next Time. Naw!”

Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Chapter Three: Highway Patrol Encounter on My Way To The Scene of the Crime

Richard & His Lame-Ass Jeans Store Chapter Les Deux (My Love–My Sister–My Madelyn)

This is a Work of FICTION! Because I Do Not Know if There is a Statute of Limitations on Arson. Not Any Word of this Story is True. It is ALL FICTION. That Said, This is Another Madelyn & Lance Tale (Fictional!)

Once A Gin, WP Fucked My Post! I Shall Again! Someone Anyone! Please Shoot Me. Still Fukkin’ Around W/This One. Added A Lot of Bullshit–

by

0

Delete The Other One! Just Like The Other One–

A “Fraternity of Tears”

Yeah! I Just Made That Up!

Mark Waugh!

He Was My Ship-Mate:

More Important: He Was A Guitar Player–Not Very Good At It, But He was My Ship-Mate–So I ALWAYS Watched His ‘Act”—Fuk This! I Will Finishj HIS Story Later. For Just Now, I Am Gonna Drink me into a self-Induced COMA

“Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Five: “I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Milady Macbeth” (Fuk Fuk Fuk Fuk FUCK You WordPress! You FUCKED UP MY POST!!!!) I’m Gonna Go Full Kyle Rittenhouse On Your Dumb Ass!!!

“Runnin’ All Around My Brain

Mark Always Sang This Song To ‘Open His ‘Act’ At the Bar In IB–Imperial Beach—

Way South of Sand-Dog—

It Was My Favorite By Him–

And He Always Performed it So Fukken

WELL!

Cred for Share: Focus Fotoart

Jackson Browne was a Misogynist.

Roll Another One

Just Like The Other One


Vid Cred: John

Artist Cred: The Fraternity Of Man

****

“Sleazy Rider”

Vid share Cred: Krzysztof Zajkowski

********

Karen Black

Oh My Gawd!

Why

Oh Why?

Cannot I Have A Woman

In My

Worthless

Life

Who Looks

Like

That?!

Jackson Browne – Running on Empty

A Video Montage of Joel Bernstein photos from the 1977 Jackson Browne Running On Empty Tour. Video Montage created by Andrew Thomas. A new version of ‘Running On Empty,’ with newly remastered sound and a faithful reproduction of the original artwork is now available on CD, 180-gram vinyl, and digitally! You can order your copy here: https://Rhino.lnk.to/ROE

Cred for Share: Sarah Love

**********

WP Has Fucked Up My Edit

I swear to God!

I am gonna go Postal

On Them!

I swear, as God as My Witness

I am Gonna Go’Postal’On Them

*********

I NEED This WOMAN In My Life!

I had a “Karen”

Once In My life

I Had a ‘Karen’

She Looked Nothing Remotely Resembling This

Alas!

Karen Black:

Lady Macbeth

*******

Cred for Vid: CorkShakespeare

I Have But Murdered Sleep

Sleep No More!

Cred For Vid Share: Emad Ozery

*******

I arrived back home in Honey Grove.

Entered thru the side door, as always.

Madelyn and Daddy were sitting at the little round Kitchenette  table watching Jeopardy or something.

I scurried past and hit the stairs.

Madelyn was hard on my heels.

We got to the third floor of Marcom Manor and I ran into my room.

Madelyn right behind.

“Did you do it?” she asked breathlessly.

I did not answer.

I turned on my little bullshit radio and dialed in the local Bonham radio station.

“Just wait” I said to her.

We waited.

After about four minutes, the announcer announced:

“Richard’s  Jeans downtown was completely destroyed by fire this afternoon.”

Maddy  threw her arms around me.

Almost Choking me.

“I love you Brother!”

“I know. Now you owe me., Milady Macbeth“

“Huh?”

“Shut the fuck up. You know who / what you are.”

She kissed me again.

This time in Earnest

********

Ohio Players – Fire

To Be Continued…

*****

“Look like th’innocent flower, But be the serpent under’t” or “Come you spirits, That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here.”

*****

Previously:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/11/richards-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-four/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

(I NEVER Write FICTION!) This is a TRUE STORY! “Fired Marshall: Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans, Chapter Six: FIRE! And Yes! I Shall Burn In Hell. For My Sins.”

by

0

Did I Regurgitate. This Already?

Go Ahead!

Ask Me How many Fuks I Give!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1uwIzI3SE

Immediately after Madelyn and I had heard the radio broadcast from Bonham, we went back downstairs to join Daddy and Gloria for supper.
As we we wading through the ‘First Course”, the telephone rang. Gloria got up and answered, Returned to the table and announced, rather tearful,
“Madelyn has just lost her job.”
“How so?” Daddy asked.
“Richard’s Jeans was destroyed in a fire.”
Maddy and I exchanged knowing glances, subtly.
“Still on the line?” Madelyn asked Gloria as she went to the telephone.
“Yes,” said Gloria. Maddy went to the phone had some short conversation. Hung up abruptly. Returned to the table and cast me a sideways glance, meaning to say,

“Do NOT say a Goddamn Word.”

Message received.

Understood

Loud and Clear

About twenty minutes later there was a vociferous loud aggressive knock on the front door of Marcom Manor.

No “Friend of Marcom” Ever Knocks Upon the Front Door–Only Interlopers, and they could be shot.

Marcom Manor


I got up to answer.
It was the Fannin County Fire Marshall.
(Shit!)
“Is there a Madelyn Marcom here?” he inquired.
“Sure” I said. “What do you want?”
“I need to ask her a few questions.”
“We are at supper.” I said.
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”
I went back to our Norman Rockwell, sat down, poured some more ice tea…
“Who was that?” Gloria asked.
“Fire Marshall” I replied.
“Did he leave?”
“Naw. I parked him in the Parlor.”
“Dammit Lance! When were you gonna tell us?”
“As soon as we finished our supper.”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to Madelyn.”
“Madelyn! You go talk to him. Now!”
Maddy got up and headed to the parlor.
Was I scared she would confess?
Oh Hell no!

Nevertheless, I got up and walked her to the parlor.

“Sister, don’t fuck this up.”
“I got this,” was all she said.

******
To be continued.

*****

Hozier – Arsonist’s Lullaby

^^^^

Previously:

Please Re-Vist This! I Need Some Courage To Finish It! There is too Much Macbeth/Hamlet in Me! “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Five: “I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Milady Macbeth”
https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/had-to-re-post-this-one-caint-stop-muckin-with-it-added-some-shit-richard-his-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-les-deux-my-love-my-sister-my-madelyn/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/08/richards-lame-ass-jeans-chapter-three-highway-patrol-encounter-on-my-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime/

https://texantales.com/2021/11/11/richards-lame-ass-jeans-store-chapter-four/

****

Bonus Just B’Cuz I’m a Texan Asshole!

****

Teaser for a Lil Sumthin’ I am Working On

Hud: Portrait of a Texas Heel

***

Richard Orr & His Lame-Ass Jeans Store. Chapter Les Deux: My Love, My Sister, My Madelyn.

by

3

I Would Always Do ANYTHING for Her, Up to And Even Including Serving Prison-Time. AnyThing! Yes, I Loved Her That Marvelous Much

So as we were sitting so very close together on her bed I said,


“Why is he closing the store?”


“Not making any money.”


“Oh. I guess that makes sense. What else did he say, if anything?”


“He said, I guess you could just burn the place down and I’ll collect the insurance. I’ll split it with you.”


I said to Maddy, “He would never do that. He is too much a pussy.”


“Yeah,” she sighed.


Then she confided:


“I stole a lot… A LOT of stuff from the store. Closing right? I lit a fire, but I think it didn’t take. I am so afraid. My fire went out! They will find me out!


“Don’t worry ‘bout that. I’ll fix it for you.”


“How? How you gonna fix it for me?”


“You still have a key to the front door?”


“You know I do.”


“Give it to me.”


“What you gonna do?”

I flashed her a grin:


“I’m gonna burn the place down to the ground. For you Dear Sister”


She gave me the key.

*****


To be continued….

***

As most of you who know me know…

This is a TRUE STORY!

I do not write fiction!

Fuk ’em!

Let them come after me!

“They” will regret that!

And that is a paralyzed fact!

Do not fuck with a copperhead snake!

“Red Next to Yell’ah Will Kill a Fellah”

cHAP uNO Here:

https://texantales.com/2021/11/06/this-is-a-work-of-fiction-because-i-do-not-know-if-there-is-a-statute-of-limitations-on-arson-not-any-word-of-this-story-is-true-it-is-all-fiction-that-said-this-is-another-madelyn-lance-tale/

*******

Somehow Strangely Related:

https://texantales.com/2021/09/24/lance-you-lie-redux-or-dark-eyed-ragin-cajun-woman/

Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Chapter Three: Highway Patrol Encounter on My Way To The Scene of the Crime

by

0

Junior Brown

“Highway Patrol” ‌‌

– Bohemia Afterdark

Cred For Vid: BVMTVOutlawCountry

Next day, Fourth of July, I borrowed Madelyn’s little ‘Chariot’.

(My ‘Labomba’ was broken down as usual.)

Had taken a can of charcoal lighter fluid from the garage. I did not smoke (cigarettes) back then, so Madelyn had given me her Zippo.

I hit the road to Bonham. It was around two in the afternoon.

As I got about half-way there, I passed a Texas Highway Patrol heading in my opposite direction.

Always paranoid, I watched him in my rear-view mirror.

Sure as shit he turned around and pursued me, lights flashing.

“Dammit to Hell!” I thought to myself. “How does he know what I am up to?”

I pulled off the road and waited for him.

“Son, do you know why I pulled you over?” he enquired.

“No officer, I do not,” I said nervously. Pretty sure I looked guilty for something / everything.

“Your state inspection sticker has expired.”

“Oh. I will take care of that tomorrow Officer.”

“Make sure that you do.”

Then he wrote me a ticket.

I waited for him to pull away, and then I proceeded on with my ‘Mission.’

To Be Continued…

****

Chapter Two:

Richard & His Lame-Ass Jeans Store Chapter Les Deux (My Love–My Sister–My Madelyn)

Chapter One:

This is a Work of FICTION! Because I Do Not Know if There is a Statute of Limitations on Arson. Not Any Word of this Story is True. It is ALL FICTION. That Said, This is Another Madelyn & Lance Tale (Fictional!)