Just Got Re-Re-Leased–Once Again, Out Of Hospital / Jail Few Days Ago–Oh Well! I HATE Doctors–

X They Are All Too Fake Of A Kind–

‘Specially’

The Female Ones–

Never-Mind.

****

Joni

You Know,

I’ve been to sea before

“If You Want Me, I’ll Be In The Bar”

“Joni, I’d Give Up My Life To Join You There.”

I HATE Doctors!

Even Thou My Daddy

And Gran-daddy

Were—

Doctors,

I Was ‘Born Free’.

Been Payin’

Off That Debt Ever Since,

So I was ‘born free’—

Don’t you see?

Don’t Know What Went Wrong With Me—

I Went Astray.

So I Joined The Navy.

Shite!

Hahahaha!

C’est Moi:

Female Doc Informed Me that My Liver Was fukked

They did their due-diligence–lots of tests

They Showed Me Photos

Imagine My Surprise

“I Asked The She Doc, But How? Why?”

She informed me that if I did not stop drinking, I was gonna die

“Hell! Everybody Gotta Die over something”

(I need no doctor come to tell me that)

She Doc Was Not Amused

***

Tom Waits – “Bad Liver And A Broken Heart”

“It Ain’t A Purchase; It’s A Rental”

“I’ve Got Me A Bottle & A Dream.”

I wasn’t in Hospital for my liver–something quite un-related–My Liver was Just Collateral Damage.

Embarrassing in-fact—Perhaps I’ll tell Y’all Later

Or Not

The Gnats Are Back & Having A ‘Gnat Blast’ At My Personal Annoyance

Yeah, The Gnats are Back!

(They Had Flown South For The Winter)

Yet I had expected them much sooner than Today

They Musta Taken A Wrong Turn At Albuquerque

I Had A ‘Welcome Home’ Greeting For ’em

See What A “Nice, Thoughtful” Guy I Am?

Office Space

***

Now… where did I put that DDT?

“Bobbie, Reach me the DDT will ya Girl?”

***

So, I am tryin’ real hard

(Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)

Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.

Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of booze. Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear–(Now, Y’all know I’m lyin’) into a ‘Normal’ booze glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’

NE-Way….

Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)

Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:

“Hello,” I said.

Voice on the line asked,

“Is this Lance Marcom?”

“Might be. Might Not Be. What do you want?”

“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”

“Let me get back to you on that. My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.”

*Click*

Bitch Hung Up On me; Didn’t Even Say “Goodbye”

I Cannot Even Imagine Why

***

Remembered My ‘Left-All-Alone’ Booze Glass.

Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.

Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY DRINK. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.

These Are The “New” Gnats.

They Developed Swimming Anatomies

See How Quickly ‘Evolution’ Can Happen?

Gotta Keep Up With ‘Current Events’

Life Always Finds A Way

Fu*kin’ Gnats!

Pool Party!

In-MY-Drink!

The Cajones On These Assholes!

I rescued my glass and drank down the booze along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.

“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.

*****

Theme Song:

Bugs!

“Hey Look At Me… With The DDT”

Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders

*****

Footnote to the Story:

After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.

Needed to go shopping next day.

Gonna go down and shop at

“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”

Cheers Y’all!

Walking Around Bare-Foot’d On A Broken Wine-Glass Is Not A Pleasant Experience to Experience–Trust Me On This One Folks. I Know–From ‘Experience’

I Adore You Annie!

Best Line:

“I’m Livin’ In An Empty Room”

I Hear Ya Girl!

Yeah! I Crashed my Booze Glass–

It Happens–A-Lot–In this Mouse-House–

So What?

I’s Not Unusual:

Tom Jones “It’s Not Unusual” (April 21, 1968)

On The Ed Sullivan Show:

***

Wine Glass Broke All To Bits an’ Pieces.

Wine Shards All Over My Floor…

Shatter’d

All Over-The Floor

Now

I Must Drink

Directly Outta The Bottle

Even Mo’ Bettah!I

Actually Prefer This Way

(Cuts Our the Middle-Man)

****

Did This Prevent Me From Walkin’ All Over it?

Naw!

I Enjoy To Bleed

It’s Cathartic

Just Got Out Of Hospital Few Days ago–I HATE Doctors–Even tho My Daddy And Grandaddy Were—Doctors. So I was ‘born free’—Don’t you see? Don’t Know What Went Wrong With Me—I Went Astray. So I Joined The Navy.

Hahahaha!

C’est Moi:

Female Doc Informed Me that My Liver Was fukked

They did their due-diligence–lots of tests

They Showed Me Photos

Imagine My Surprise

“I Asked The She Doc, But How? Why?”

She informed me that if I did not stop drinking, I was gonna die

“Hell! Everybody Gotta Die over something”

(I need no doctor come to tell me that)

She Doc Was Not Amused

***

Tom Waits – “Bad Liver And A Broken Heart”

“It Ain’t A Purchase; It’s A Rental”

I wasn’t in Hospital for my liver–something quite un-related–My Liver was Just Collateral Damage.

Embarrassing in-fact—Perhaps I’ll tell Y’all Later

Or Not

Empty! Try Another!

MT: Try Another!

I was tryin’ to sleep one off.

There came a knock upon my door.

What for?

“Who Dare?”

I generally don’t open my door

Unless I am fully locked, cocked, and loaded

I was for Shit-Sure “loaded

NEWay….

This day For fun

I opened my door.

There was a Boy Scout Standing There with his daddy close behind.

Boy Scout was soliciting money for a good, noble, worthy cause.

He showed me his flyer.

I Pulled out my wallet

Flies flew out.

I Invited him to come back later

(I think he declined. As He fled Away–In Haste–Daddy Close Behind)

Addendum To My Last (Recent PAST)

“And So This is Christmas???

Cred: MrMichem72

This is so brilliant done!

No Bullshit text mucking up the works!

Just Subtle at the Bottom

Well done Sir/Madame!

Well done!

Well done!

Well DONE!!!

Bravo!

*********

In My ravenous Hunger Rage, I Destroyed the ‘Care’ Package Provided by

My New Love:

La’trish:

Before The ‘Storm:’

Trying to eat it all in one gulp!

Yeah! I am an Asshole!

After The Storm:

*****

Stormy Weather Ahead!

Be Thee Forewarned!

Cred: YVIE R.

sONG cRED: santana!

dUH!

go git fukked!

If y’all do Not Already Know that!

***

More! Sum More!

Cred for the vid: Benito Meschoulam

****