Re-Edited. Sorry! (Not Really Sorry–This is MY Blog–I Am Allowed To Shit-Post All-I-Want) “Hydration!”

Y’all Know–If You Have ‘Read’ Me, I Have Spent A Lot of My ‘Adult’ Years Living In Middle-Eastern Deserts. I Re-Learned Some Valuable Lessons While There…”


Joni Mitchell – Cool Water (With Willie Nelson)

“We won’t last long without water”–


Here is a clue and a nickle:

First The Clue: Drink lots of water

Now The Nickle: STOP Polluting Our Water!

Water is a Blessing From The God I Do Not Believe in,

Yet, None-the-Less…

I Thank GOD For…




🎶 | Songs for Kids | Lingokids

“Always Stay Well-Hydrated”–

Navy SEAL Instructors Taught Me That.

Well, Actually Only Re-Enforced What I Already Knew

This is Precisely Why…

For Every Glass Of Wine I Imbibe…

I Immediately Consume Two Glasses Of Water.

Keeps Me ‘Functional’…

“Add your Thoughts Here…”

WordPress Prompts.

OKay WP, Here is My One Thought:

(And, Yes! WP, You Only Are Only Allowed One)

Thought Numero Uno:

“WP! You SUCK!”

That Suit Ya?!


Have A Nice Day!

I’m On The Leeward Shore Of My Big Bottle Of Wine. And There Will Be No More When There Is No More, Becuz I Am Outta Money As Well. Oh Well. Woe Is Me!

In Other Words, As An Alcoholic, I Am About To Be In

The Midst of

A ‘Properly-Fu*k’d-Up Situation’

This Makes Me So Very, Very Sad

And I am anticipating a visit from this guy:

Mister DT Man

(Last Time HE Came a-knockin’, I Out-Foxed Him. I Dialed 911 And Went Post-Haste to Hospital)


What a whiner that kid is

Cred: OneShotxKayvaan


UB40 – Red Red Wine

I Keep Walking On Walls Just trying to Keep My Sanity Wrapped About Me. “Please Stop Spinning, My Head…”–Thank You.

I Just wanna go to bed.

And Catch Me Some ZZ’s

Good Music to Fall Asleep To:

(The Good Ole Daze–When I Was So Young And Dumb)


I walk a fine line

And Thanks Johnny For Commiserating


Huh? What?

How Did This Vid Sneak Into My Post?

Y’all Know How I Despised ‘The Eighties’

Cred: The Police–I think.


Funny as fuk Story:

Empty–Perfectly Describes My Mind

Lisa, My Third…

Used to go about Commerce,

Late at night

At all Hours

Lookin’ for me. Isn’t that funny?

Not Really

It is a very sad commentary

She knew not what she wished for

Eventually I managed to marry her

Carly, My Darling!

(In Your Dreams Lance Asshole!)


Patsy, You Were Then and Still Now

Always The BEST of All the Rest


You Know I Can’t Sleep–

Guess We’ll Be Tougher for a long, long Time

Hello, Fuckin’ Walls!”

(Please Take Note: Merle is in the Audience)

Walk the Line (2005) Trailer: 

(Ooops I screwed this up–try agin.)

Johnny Cash – I Walk the Line (Man in Black: Live in Denmark)

Walking Around Bare-Foot’d On A Broken Wine-Glass Is Not A Pleasant Experience to Experience–Trust Me On This One Folks. I Know–From ‘Experience’

I Adore You Annie!

Best Line:

“I’m Livin’ In An Empty Room”

I Hear Ya Girl!

Yeah! I Crashed my Booze Glass

Had to draft it to be my spittoon

Shit Like This Happens.


In this Mouse-House O’ Mine

So What?

It’s Not Unusual:

Tom Jones “It’s Not Unusual” (April 21, 1968)

On The Ed Sullivan Show:


Wine Glass Broke All To Bits an’ Pieces.

Wine Shards All Over My Floor…


All Over-The Floor


I Must Drink

Directly Outta The Bottle

Even Mo’ Bettah!I

Actually Prefer This Way

(Cuts Our the Middle-Man)


Did This Prevent Me From Walkin’ All Over it?


I Enjoy To Bleed

It’s Cathartic

Uh… WP? Hello? *taps mic* “Hello? WordPress? Anybody Home?

Answer Yer Goddamn Telephone! I Pay You Indian/Pakistani Assholes Four-Hundred Quid Per Year! For What? For Fuckin’ What??

And What do I get for My money?

Just another day older

And deeper in debt!


My Main Man!

Fuck You Word-Press!

I Got No Nada to Show For My Money,

Except My Frustration

State of-Nation!

I Love My Life!

Caint Take That Love Away From Me!

Fuck Off Word-Press!

Why Cannot I Edit This P.O.S?

Fuck You Word-Depress’d! You Ass’holes!

“I Love My Life. I’d Like to Hang Onto it for Just a little While Longer. Heart Attack ACK ACK ACK!” (You oughta know by now…)

Sade is The Most Beautiful Woman-in-My World–Just sayin’!


(“It seems such a waste of time.”)

I really *like* this post. (guess I have no choice)

Some of Y’all may have seen this one coming. 

Some  also may have discerned one salient fact  point of my perception of myself:

‘I think I am bulletproof.’ *insert BUD/s here*

Hell! I have always lived my life that way, embracing that one paralyzed fact. I just know I am such:


“I think, therefore I am… bullet proof.”

(So sorry, René )

Hey! Just walk away Renee:

Vid Credit: hawkmoon03111951

(How many times have I cheated death? *insert Ronnie here*    *insert Minefield Here*    *insert Shark Fishing  here*     *insert Iraq here*

And on and on…


How could anyone get past that and ever even know how fragile even I may be? *insert Shonnie here*

(Smirk) It begs credulity.

Well… I had my Bulletproof Ass handed to me a few days ago.

The consensus around the Camp Fire that is my GF’s workplace (Saint Jude—Lot of smart folks work there—mostly doctors an’ such) is that Lance had ‘experienced’ a minor heart attack. Now ain’t that funny? Ain’t that rich? AAD (“Also a Doctor”—stolen line from Wolfe’s ‘The Right Stuff’Also a doctor. The words the first schmuck said to Chuck Yeager right after he parachuted from one hundred thousand feet and crash landed:

“You look like shit” – misquote, but you get the drift: just look it up and move on…

(I was all gray an’ shit and I had all the symptoms, and my BP was… approaching escape velocity, but… shit! I was just ‘funnin’.)

Ed note: Just received an email from my… doctor… ok, she is not MY doctor, only an old friend. Anyhow, she is a pharm-assist. She says I had a Myocardial infarction. 

“A what?” I had to ask.

“You had a fucking heart attact! Dig it, ASSHOLE?”

“Yeah, I dig. So What?”

And then I invited her to not use profanity on my Blog Page. (she hung up on my dumb ass after that. I cannot imagine why)

My  Grandfather died, at ’55 of a “Myocardial infarction. ” Think I am not scared? Naw! Ain’t.

Ain’t that rich? Been there; done that. No T-Shirt, alas. Nothing to hang on my “I Love Me Wall.”

“He, most likely, has ‘experienced’ a heart attack.” Kinda like I ‘experienced’ ‘Six Flags Amusement Park. Or Four Years in Iraq.  Or a year and a half in Afghanistan, not to mention three years in Sinai, back when nobody had even ever heard of it—now that, dear reader, is sorrow:

“Hey Good –Lookin’, where do you work at?” asked she, The Hot Babe. (The ‘at’ shoulda told me she ‘weren’t’ for me anyhow, but when you’re young, who gives two shits for grammar? I axe you.)

“I work in The Sinai Desert, for the State Department” answered I, lonely guy on R&R, too far from Texas where I did not even need to employ my bullshit.

“Oh… Sorry. I only date guys who work in cool places. Bye!” She said, as she followed on over to the Fraternity Asshole House…(s) Doubtful she found cerebral stimulation there, but what the hell, eh?


Yeah, I ‘experienced’ those too. Those were great… experiences.

Point is, my personal health issues notwithstanding: I am back. (for now)

And am back to comment, torment, regale, impale, exhale, exhalt, vent, rant, recant, apologize, criticize, proffer, pro-offer, disclaim, disdain, mock, muse, love, confuse, confer, confide, and certainly collide.

And all that shit above is denied.


I have this pain… in my… ass. (and me chest)

More later… assuming I get over myself tonight.



P.S. Let us just call this a ‘Stream of Consent’ Or a ‘Babbling Brook of Mind’.

Vote on it: Get back to me.



I almost forgot the best part of this post:

Hit me like a slow bullet



All of you “likers” don’t get the ‘jist’ of the ‘jisters,’ now, do you? I don’t often ask for a lifeline, but…

Honestly now, I feel as if I am living on / my  borrowing time.

(and my bank is broken)

(and if anyone out “There” ever misconstrues that, THAT, as a plead for money, for me, well, fuck, Nay FUCK you!. I was merely communicating my status.

Words Hurt.

I know this now (“Took you long enuff Asshole.”).

I never mean to hurt; I just spew… stuff… outta my mind…

Keep yer ‘symphany.’ And your musical parades for the poor.

Give your money to Palestine… 

Yeah:  “Too Busy Drinking…” 

First Time I Heard This Song, I Was In A Swimmin’ Pool In Plano, Texas, Tryin’ To Figger out How I Was Gonna Survive ‘Drown-Proofin’

(Bastardized Quote.)

That’s the “Lance” we sorta, love.

Rock on, LM!

As long and as has (he?) been long (and boring) as has this post, I will never delete it.

Why? Not?

Because I love Sade.

That is the simple truth, Ruth.

Or perhaps ‘Truth #2’

But then, those of you who know… know.

It’s my page…

 “Love is a gun.”

Alcohol Is A Cruel Mistress. She Gives And She Takes—Mostly She Just Takes. Your Money, Your Wife. And in The End, Your Life. With No Receipts For Tax Deduction Refund Purposes

Most diseases have some chance for a cure.

There is NO Cure for Alcoholism.



It is just something one has to come to terms with.

Trust me Kids:

I have been battling with her ever since I was thirteen years old.

But I’m still standing!

And fighting the good fight!

I’m Still Standin’!

The Computer Has Been Drinking.

Not Me

Tom, You’re So Wrong.

I suggest you Seek Therapy Immediately

Cred: MasterBiblicalMemory


If I try to cast her out…

Well, this outcome is



It takes a long time to drink yourself to death.

The DT’s can kill you in a week, or even less