Hahahaha! Still In Real!-Re-Cycled Bull-Shite Mode. “A Fly Went By” Do NOT Watch This! I Am Lazy & Crazy & Just A Little Bit Hazy. And Enjoyin’ Some “Back-Slider’s Wine”

Here’s How That Annoying Fly Dodges Your Swatter: 

Cred: Deep Look

https://www.youtube.com/c/KQEDDeepLook

*****

Writer’s Block Has Me Constipated!

A Fly In My Mouse House is Pissing Me Off!

Or,

“A Fly Went By”

or a Fly Needs to go

‘Bye-Bye’

A Fly Needs to Die!

Writer’s Blok Has Me Constipated! A Fly In My Mouse House is Pissing Me Off! Or, “A Fly Went By” or a Fly Needs to go ‘Bye-Bye’ A Fly Needs to Die!

“I found myself face-down on a barroom floor.”

“A Fly Went By”

Read Aloud for Children

If Y’all cannot figure out the obvious poignant message here for today, you are probably reading the wrong blog.

No cute kitty vids will ever be found here.

Sorry Kids

A Fly Went By

Street Cred for Reading: Tallulah Skya

There is a fly.

There is a fly.

There is a fly buzzing by

Landing on my keyboard

Fucking with me.

Can’t swat him

Can’t spay him

Can’t spray him

(Keyboard thing. Electronics Thang) No spraying.

Caint slay him. (I tried)

Can’t fuck him (I tried that too)

Can’t kill him.

Guess I’ll just have to learn to live with him.

In my mouse-house.

Fuck me!

Twice

Honestly

The shit I am forced to accept in my life!

I guess that’s the ‘reality’ Baby!

Bugs!!

Cred: Bobbie, benjichilders, et al. Duh!

“Hey Look at me! With the DDT!”

Serious Related Below!

The Gnats Are Back & Having A ‘Gnat Blast’ At My Personal Annoyance

Yeah, The Gnats are Back!

(They Had Flown South For The Winter)

Yet I had expected them much sooner than Today

They Musta Taken A Wrong Turn At Albuquerque

I Had A ‘Welcome Home’ Greeting For ’em

See What A “Nice, Thoughtful” Guy I Am?

Office Space

***

Now… where did I put that DDT?

“Bobbie, Reach me the DDT will ya Girl?”

***

So, I am tryin’ real hard

(Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)

Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.

Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of booze. Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear–(Now, Y’all know I’m lyin’) into a ‘Normal’ booze glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’

NE-Way….

Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)

Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:

“Hello,” I said.

Voice on the line asked,

“Is this Lance Marcom?”

“Might be. Might Not Be. What do you want?”

“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”

“Let me get back to you on that. My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.”

*Click*

Bitch Hung Up On me; Didn’t Even Say “Goodbye”

I Cannot Even Imagine Why

***

Remembered My ‘Left-All-Alone’ Booze Glass.

Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.

Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY DRINK. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.

These Are The “New” Gnats.

They Developed Swimming Anatomies

See How Quickly ‘Evolution’ Can Happen?

Gotta Keep Up With ‘Current Events’

Life Always Finds A Way

Fu*kin’ Gnats!

Pool Party!

In-MY-Drink!

The Cajones On These Assholes!

I rescued my glass and drank down the booze along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.

“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.

*****

Theme Song:

Bugs!

“Hey Look At Me… With The DDT”

Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders

*****

Footnote to the Story:

After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.

Needed to go shopping next day.

Gonna go down and shop at

“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”

Cheers Y’all!

Gnat Pool Party

The Gnats are Back!

Now… where did I put that DDT?

Bobbie?

Reach me the DDT Girl!

So, I am tryin’ real hard (Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)

Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.

Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of wine, (Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear) into a ‘Normal’ wine glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’

NE-Way….

Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)

Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:

“Hello,” I said.

Voice on the line asked,

“Is this Lance Marcom?”

“Might be. What do you want?”

“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”

“Let me get back to you on that.

My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.
Bye now.”

*Click*

Remembered my ‘Left-all-alone’ wine glass.

Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.

Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY POOL. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.

I rescued my glass and drank down the wine along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.

“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.

*****

Theme Song:

Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders

*****

Footnote to the Story:

After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.

Needed to go shopping next day.

Gonna go down and shop at

“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”

Cheers Y’all!

The Basra Bugman Revisited.

I am re-posting this because I am still working on the Continuation of the ‘Sinai Field Mission Chronicles‘.

(Great Excuse, eh?) Anyway, some of you ‘newbies’ may not have had the wonderful ‘opportunity’ to have swerved into it. Therefore it is with great humility that I present it once again for your perusal.

**************

Bugs were a huge problem for us in Basra.

There were big bugs, small bugs, flying bugs, crawling bugs, creeping bugs, creepy bugs, sleepy bugs, scary bugs, poisonous bugs,  biting bugs, fighting bugs, suicide bomber bugs, and worst of all: No-See’um bugs. (Please don’t get me wrong: I love bugs:  Queendom  and Spiders)

But every day at precisely 1600hrs:

BUGMAN!

Basrah Bug Man

The BUGMAN Commeth: Bugs, watch yer ass.

We all worked in trailers, which passed for ‘Offices’ in Basra and we had A/C Window Units which would suck in the Bugman’s Offerings with vengeance. So everyday, at around 1600hrs, we kept collective ears tuned for the sound of Bugman and his Blower, lest we fail to turn off the A/C’s and become victim to BUGMAN.

The parlance always went like this: The one with the best hearing would announce in a low nonchalant voice: 

‘The Bugman.” (almost a whisper, but we were all tuned in to those two words–we certainly did not want to be premature, because of the oppressive heat)

Then scramble to shut down all the A/C units ahead of relentless Bugman (no less than twelve window units), and life would go on, while we sat sweating (Yes, the heat was brutal, but so were the bugs).

“Here I come to savvve the day!!!”

Continue reading

Gnat Pool Party

So, I am tryin’ real hard (Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)

Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.

Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of wine, (Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear) into a ‘Normal’ wine glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’

NE-Way….

Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)

Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:

“Hello,” I said.

Voice on the line asked,

“Is this Lance Marcom?”

“Might be. What do you want?”

“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”

“Let me get back to you on that.

My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.
Bye now.”

*Click*

Remembered my ‘Left-all-alone’ wine glass.

Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.

Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY POOL. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.

I rescued my glass and drank down the wine along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.

“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.

*****

Theme Song:

Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders

*****

Footnote to the Story:

After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.

Needed to go shopping next day.

Gonna go down and shop at

“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”

Cheers Y’all!

The Basra Bugman Revisited.

I am re-posting this because I am still working on the Continuation of the ‘Sinai Field Mission Chronicles‘.

(Great Excuse, eh?) Anyway, some of you ‘newbies’ may not have had the wonderful ‘opportunity’ to have swerved into it. Therefore it is with great humility that I present it once again for your perusal.

**************

Bugs were a huge problem for us in Basra.

There were big bugs, small bugs, flying bugs, crawling bugs, creeping bugs, creepy bugs, sleepy bugs, scary bugs, poisonous bugs,  biting bugs, fighting bugs, suicide bomber bugs, and worst of all: No-See’um bugs. (Please don’t get me wrong: I love bugs:  Queendom  and Spiders)

But every day at precisely 1600hrs:

BUGMAN!

Basrah Bug Man

The BUGMAN Commeth: Bugs, watch yer ass.

We all worked in trailers, which passed for ‘Offices’ in Basra and we had A/C Window Units which would suck in the Bugman’s Offerings with vengeance. So everyday, at around 1600hrs, we kept collective ears tuned for the sound of Bugman and his Blower, lest we fail to turn off the A/C’s and become victim to BUGMAN.

The parlance always went like this: The one with the best hearing would announce in a low nonchalant voice:

‘The Bugman.” (almost a whisper, but we were all tuned in to those two words–we certainly did not want to be premature, because of the oppressive heat)

Then scramble to shut down all the A/C units ahead of relentless Bugman (no less than twelve window units), and life would go on, while we sat sweating (Yes, the heat was brutal, but so were the bugs).

“Here I come to savvve the day!!!”

Continue reading