So, I am tryin’ real hard (Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)
Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.
Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of wine, (Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear) into a ‘Normal’ wine glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’
Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)
Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:
“Hello,” I said.
Voice on the line asked,
“Is this Lance Marcom?”
“Might be. What do you want?”
“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”
“Let me get back to you on that.
My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.
Remembered my ‘Left-all-alone’ wine glass.
Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.
Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY POOL. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.
I rescued my glass and drank down the wine along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.
“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.
Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders
Footnote to the Story:
After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.
Needed to go shopping next day.
Gonna go down and shop at
“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”