Tag Archives: Bullshit

I Just Want To Meet Jackie

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The point of this post, if there is one, is that I have applied for no less than ten jobs in Saudi Arab today.

Some nine or so in various other shit holes, err, developing countries, just looking for my next war zone to make me famous, not unlike Hemmingway. At this point in life, I must admit: prolly ain’t gonna happen. All I can hope for is some good monies and some decent health insurance (and maybe some ESOP), but Hell! At this point, I’ll work for room and board…but never bored.

Me? Bored? Never.

Again, when do I get to get outraged? Ppl in Ferguson get to be outraged. I share their outrage, but I just want a small piece of that pie. I have more than one decade experience working in dangerous desolate places, yet, I find it so very difficult to find a job in same. I am feeling some outrage here! I should be entitled. I did my time. Hell! I served my country.

To quote some not so famous line from the movie, “The Right Stuff,” “Where is my parade with Jackie? I wanna meet Jackie. They owe me!” I want to meet Jackie. Or at the very least I want a window… into my golden years. End of Rant…

-Lance

And of course, as y’all know, this was all ‘tongue-in-cheek’

“Hook ’em Horns!”

(That’s ‘Texan’ for ‘Suck it up and move that ball on down the field.’   Boys.)

Or, even better, to quote Dan Jenkins: “Y’all knew it was gonna be semi-tough, eh?”

And this “trailer” is semi-tough to watch, but it was as advertised: semi tough, as we were growing up in The Seventies.

And of course, as usual, this last link is the important one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-qEmmpGYvA Video Credit: Erik Gloor

HaHaHa!

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“Lance ‘Dun’ Went Three Bubbles Off Plumb!”

Now, “Run Tell That!”

I do love anyone and ever’one who darkens my doorstep.

Honestly.

Now… sleep is an option I long to explore.

Catch Y’all on the Flip-Flop.

Pretty much have said all my piece for a spell.

Cheers,

Lanc’d

tom

“colder than a ticket taker’s smile
at the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night”

–Tom

Huh?

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Are these two men the “stupidest” One and a Half-Men in America?

In The World?

In The Solar System?

In The Galaxy?

IN THE UNIVERSE?

I say…

YEAH. Fuck Yeah! (To paraphrase Phil, “Git dem genes outta da pool!”)

What say y’all?

(Disagree. I love it when y’all disagree)

But to me, Their brains and their arguments appear as if two marshmallows were colliding in mid-air.

“But The Bible says….”

Slavery Allowed:

However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT)

Oh Please!

And unlike ninety percent of the ‘Christians’ out there, I have actually read the Bibles–yep–both of them.

“Convert them or kill them.” 

–Phil Robertson (0:3:41 on the video)

Huh??

(Jeepers! I really cannot comment on the obvious here.)

“We’re not even ‘over there’ in the Middle East.” –Phil.

Huh??

Whaaattt???

Since when??

What??

“I read, uh, wrote a book once.” –Hannity

Really????

–Lanc’d

Hannity makes me ill:

Vid Credit: C0ct0pusPrime

Then there is Lenny on RACE:

And here is Dustin Hoffman being Lenny on Race:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOnkv76rNL4

Cheers Y’all!

 

And Lenny (and Christopher) Lives (again) Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid (sic)

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Below please find today’s bit:

(May be offensive to people of faith)

(If you are religious, you may have swerved into the wrong page.)

Even that statement is wrong. It presupposes that religious folk do not have a sense of humor, or that they are intolerant of not-religious folk. I know of only one religion which is totally intolerant and not open to sense of humor. I don’t need to name it, but we all know its name (Shhh…. Don’t tell. But it starts with an M and ends with an ‘um’.   Yeah! You guessed it: “Methodist-um” ) 

(Now I know, I have been uncharacteristically silent on the ISIS CRISIS in specific and ‘Religion Poisons Ever’Thing’ in General. I am ‘back-building’, much like that volcano in Iceland. What you may experience here, today, is just a fissure, impotently  spewing. ‘Fissuring’, if you will. Don’t worry: The Big Bang is coming folks and it ain’t gonna be nothin’ nice.)

Shhhhh…. don’t tell. Keep yer head, and yer wits, and yer tits, and yer clits about you.

So… Don’t speak. Bad for your health: ‘Speaking.’

Listen / Watch Here Below: And Christopher’s last line (in case you missed it)

“Stay cool.” 

So ‘be cool’ and watch it, for it is timely, given our present present.

Video Credit:

therealtalkpolitics

The Lenny Bit (Religion Inc) Listen if You Please:

Oral_Sucker_Born

Oral Roberts

Billy_Time_Mag

JohnXXIII

Pope John XXIII

lifecover_spellman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Lenny Here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

Thanks For Listening

And just for fun:

And as a completely different aside: I got some very good advice from a very, well not very, not even a very good friend, let us just call her ‘an acquaintance’:

She chastised me.

Why?

Because I employ too many parentheses…. “Makes me hard to read.’  She said. ‘Madman,’ She said. Truth, she spoke.

Now that!

That!

That is good advice!

Thank you, Nameless Person.

 

Today, a magical thing happened to me.

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I’ll edit this later…

But for now I gotta go see a goat about a man. Be right back…

******

I woke up.

I woke up happy.

This has not happened in some years.

Why? Why now? Why today?

Well shit! I have no fucking clue, but I do know this:

It was a welcome change. I woke up Happy!

Fucking Happy!

And ’till now, I have maintained it.

And I am gonna embrace it ’till it leaves.

***

Now I had planned a very verbose post about my theories of depression but then I said,

“Naw! There are others who dedicate their lives to depression. They live for this shit.”

Who am I? I just went passing through…

“Just passing,” Thank You,

“Mind the gap.”

(You probably have to be British to appreciate that last bit)

Here’s to “Happy Days Are Here Again!”

(I’ll take them)

Evey’ one.

Y’all should too.

well we will marry and tarry

There

Here is a happy song to get you ‘in the mood’:

The moodiness of happiness:

“The Line Forms to the Right”

Just choose Happy

 

Some Folks I know (and admire)

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Throw out a “Stream of Consciousness”

Writing Challenge.

“Git on Wid It!” They Inspire, hemorrhaging inspiration. 

I do applaud this!

I find it wonderful (and inspirational)

I do never partake however, because…

Well; it just ain’t for me.

All my writing fits that ill (er, bill)

Honestly, I bathe in a stream of consciousness. (Isn’t it painfully obvious? Regarding that observation? I beg to mean: for those who actually read my stuff… It must be unerring to surmise that “Lance is crazy: He don’t even edit his own stuff. He just throws it all out there and watches where it may land.”)

Ophilia

Ophilia

Yup: Guilty.

Here is but one example (and be thee forewarned: It may be offensive–don’t really know myself, since I never read my shit after I write it and publish it–lie right there–I edit to death, but I am still in denial, so we just won’t go there, not here Dear.)

Actually “I post, then I edit” Wrong? Yes? I know, but that is just how I roll.

Anyhow, It is Memorial Day Weekend and I am cooking Ribs this afternoon, so I am immune to any and all criticism. This is the way of my (Texan) world. (Hey! And I get beer too!)

********

Okay, I know Y’all done been waiting avec baited breath for whatever story I done forgot to paste…

Here is one: I do hope it be german…germane to the topic:

If not, well, “Tomorrow is another day.”

(I do think Scarlett said it better than me, back in ’39)

Alright:

I had bookmarked my most obnoxious post to post here (in hope of generating some debate) Alas: I lost the link (and I tend to refer to myself as a computer geek: guess it all falls apart right there…)

Anyway…

Here is all I got to put this one to bed. (Yes! I know. It sucks, but hey! It cost you nothing but some time–which you cannot price–can you?)

And, believe me this:  

I do know how valuable your time is; this is why I admire and appreciate your taveling this far with me.

Cheers,

Lancer

Oh Shit! Almost Forgot! Here is the bleeding story below and there are remnants of links too, if ya be of interest in my writing style. And if not, well…not then.)

My Good Friend Russell over there at

http://russelrayphotos2.com/

Kindly commented on my Post, “Street Where I Lived”

Russ said,

“If you really want to have fun, go to Google Earth or Google Street View and look up all your old homes. I did it and found every place I ever lived, took a screen shot, and saved them for posterity, of which there will be none……..lol”

I smartly replied,

“That is an excellent idea.

No posterity for me either. After four marriages, still no children. Just never seemed to get around to it.

Thank you Russel for stopping by and reading.

Cheers”

Then…few days later… I said,

“OK, so I went Google Earth Trolling… Most of the places I have ever lived are toxic waste sites now, they got the Bio-hazard signs up an’ ever’thang.

I need to focus on my future, If I have one.

Laughing

(Laughing helps)

Thanks for the suggestion

(I think)”

********

Okay. Here is my point, (If’n I have one):

How many y’all Google Map your old habiliments?

Trust me on this: Do NOT do it!

Peach out, (but save the square bales for me)