I Am In Love With Love: Courtney Variety. “It is with no small bit of Trepidation…” (And the Fonts are All F*cked UP–Caint Fix ‘Em===Thank U WordPress!)

It is with no small bit of Trepidation…

That I find myself re-posting this one. But in light of the recent Supreme Court decision regarding, ‘Hobby Lobby’, I just cannot keep quiet. If my words offend, I apologize now for the offense. But I never apologize for my mores. Some things won’t change.

Cheers to all my friends and readers. I am nothing, if not sincere.

–Lance

***

di·lem·ma

 noun də-ˈle-mə also dī-

: a situation in which you have to make a difficult choice

horns-of-a-dilemma

If you stare at this long enough, the clouds start to move. Go ahead, try it. (You know you want to)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Facing the Horns of One.

I really want to quit posting for today and I really want to visit all my friend’s blogs and I really want to make some really witty and cool statements so that they will really love me…and yet… I cannot shut the fuck up.

Really.

Why?

Because I am really, well really…

Because I am really really vain.

And strange

Really strange

My friends may forgive me.

Those new here, will not.

(Not really)

But I always tell me, I say, “Hey! Me! You can make new friends out there!”

I say, “But I love the friends I have already made.”

“Fuck ’em! The other me says.”

I grow some balls and kick my ‘other me to the curb.”

Why? Because a friend lost, hurts me.

Honestly

(You thought I was gonna say ‘really’ didn’t ya?)

Especially, if it comes from my vanity and my stupid forgetful lazy neglect. That hurts the worst.

Deeply.

Because, that one… should be preventable.

Therefore I leave you with this
(Yes. I did have a point)

How many out there feel or felt upon one time, that you were just a “Doll Part?”

(Yeah, that sounds gay)

And NO Offense to any of my gay friends out there: it is just an expression. (I think–if it offends–let  me know)

(Really–now you just knew–I had to slip that last one in, under some covers)

Then…

Get over it.

Answer the question and move on.

*End of Rant*

Below is a visual aid:

Ed. Note: Lance is one stupid son of a bitch.

This video below is significant to many of my friends who have suffered domestic violence. In the dark recesses of my feeble fucking mind, I knew this, yet I put the video in anyway.

Why? Because I love Love (Courtney)

That is no excuse. I need some sensitivity training. I am going to leave the video in this post, but now for different reasons: People Need To Wake Up To The Fact that here in this country and all over the world, there are women being abused.

Right NOW. Something has to be done. To quote Christopher Hitchens:

“The quickest way to end poverty is to empower women. Empower woman. Give them control of their reproductive bodies. Give them education. Let them have jobs.”

That is a paraphrase. But you can Google it, or I will do it for you. Next time I edit this stupid, thoughtless, insensitive post.

New Ed. Note: As promised hours ago…

And here we go with….Lenny!

427px-Lenny_Bruce_arrest

And Yes! I am going to continue to post shit that is on my mind. Ad nauseam.

Because this is my blog.

I mean no offense, but if you ever get offended here, well, I did warn you. (didn’t I?)

Okay, maybe I did not, but I am goddamn certain from day one, I never promised a floral garden.

Now did I?

(Sometimes, often, I out-type my brain–sorry)

Moving on…I guess this is a rant. (searching for a way to categorize this post)

Don’t worry: I will make up a new one if I havta. (and you real bloggers out there know what the fuck I am talking about. Doncha?)

And Fuck Yeah!

I think Courtney Love is fucking brilliant.

Wanna sue me?

The line forms to the right.

And Hell Yeah! “I wanna be the girl with the most cake!”

Don’t we all?

I mean,

Really?

*End*

Expanded. Made Better. Added Vids: Joni and CSN & Young! “I am Re-Posting This For The Benefit of a Like-Minded Fellow Blogger–I Hope She Sees it. “The Greatest Bullshit Story Ever Sold” A Little Joni Rant at the End. Tread Softly. And I’m sorry the text don’t line up properly with the images. WordPress is Stupid. I cannot fix stupid.

(Most likely offensive to ‘People of Faith’–read at your own annoyance) 

****

The Greatest Story Ever Told (If told at Woodstock)

(And seriously Y’all, y’all need to watch the video First)

But before we go there enter:

This Post Will PISS some people Off (IF I am doing my job)

However I do NOT want to Piss Anyone Off (Not my job)

Ambiguous? Yeah!

So, therefore, and furthermore, and forevermore: I put below the ‘continue reading’ button.

And don’t shoot me: I just play piano here… on Tuesdays… and for milk money… for the kids.

The video is germane. Watch it.

Cheers, Peace, Blessings, Love and Happiness & Joy (and I do mean all of that shit. Sincerely. Hey by the way, Anyone seen Joy? She was just here a minute ago…)

Cast of Characters:

Mary, Mother Mary, Virgin Mary, Mother of All Inventions.

Woodstock_Mary

Joseph, Joe, Just Plain Joe, Cuckold, Erstwhile Surrogate Father of Jesus.

Woodstock_Joeseph

Ya gotta love Joe. Ya just gotta.

Baby Jesus, aka Baby Hey Zeus, aka, Christmas… Pre-sents

Woodstock_Baby_Jesus

Not even gonna comment on this one, but, be my guest.


Woodstock_Saint_Peter

Saint Peter


Woodstock_Young_Jesus_Struggling_Musician

Jesus Playing with the Mothers of Immaculate Conception, circa 0014 AD

Jesus grew up; tried to make a living, Playing Gigs.

But then…

Father told him to hang a right at Albequerky: Go to Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel; see the people they will love your act. (He said)

Jesus_Arrives_1

You Really Didn’t Believe That “Rode Into Town on an Ass” bit did you?

“Would Jesus wear a Rolex on his TV show? Fuck Yeah!”

No! Seriously,”

“Check it out”

Jesus_Arrives_2

“I’m There Dude!”


falwell

Brother Failwell

Then Dad said, “Go Preach Your Ass Off!

Woodstock_Sermon_On_The_Mount

Sermon on The Mount

(Chip off The Old Block)

And Jesus Said, “We’re there Dude! Just look at ‘em!”

Woodstock_Flock

Case Rested


Woodstock_Decided

Yay! Jesus!

“They’re eatin’ this shit up!
Hey! Judas! Come check this out!

Woodstock_Judas

Judas: Enema needing to Happen. “Nothing to see here; move along…”

Mary Mag! You too! (C’mere Baby!)”

“Sorry Dude. Busy. Get back to me, Yeah? Laters…BFF!”

“But Mary!? You carry… My Mom’s name! And now you tarry? Don’t make no sense!”

Woodstock_Mary_Mag2
“Ah shit!
Here come those Romanians Again! Don’t these people ever give up? Gotta go!”

Woodstock_The_Romans

I love the smell of burnt Jesus in the morning

“As God as My Wit-less-ness, I shall never be hungry again! (As long as I have these radishes)”

Last Supper

Last Toke, I mean Last Munchies


Woodstock_Last_Supper

Joe! Go Pick some Radishes. Jesus is hungry. And stop smokin’ that shit!

I did not put in The Crucifixion/Resurrection, (mainly because I don’t believe that shit and also because I could not find an example in the show) and also, mainly because at

Woodstock… drum roll please:

nobody had to die to save me.

It’s OK Jesus: I’m doin’ fine, but Thank You for askin’.

And Thank YOU to anyone who has travell’d this far with me.

Cheers,
Lance

 

Added Value: George Carlin vs. Religious Douchebag

In The Bullshit Department…

***

Bonus

Just for Fun!

CSN & Young!

JONI!

Woodstock

She Wrote it

Didn’t ‘Physically’ live it

But as much as anybody

Embodied it!

Duh!

***

I can count on one hand and one toe

All the ways I can be made to be pissed off

I will not list all six

But

Know this:

At the top

Is

Being disrespectful

To

Joni

Do Not Go

There

Trust me

You will not like me

I will

Hurt

You

It is with no small bit of trepidation…

That I find myself reposting this one. But in light of the recent Supreme Court decision regarding, ‘Hobby Lobby’, I just cannot keep quiet. If my words offend, I apologize now for the offense. But I never apologize for my mores. Some things won’t change.

Cheers to all my friends and readers. I am nothing, if not sincere.

–Lance

***

di·lem·ma

 noun də-ˈle-mə also dī-

: a situation in which you have to make a difficult choice

horns-of-a-dilemma

If you stare at this long enough, the clouds start to move. Go ahead, try it. (You know you want to)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Facing the Horns of One.

I really want to quit posting for today and I really want to visit all my friend’s blogs and I really want to make some really witty and cool statements so that they will really love me…and yet… I cannot shut the fuck up.

Really.

Why?

Because I am really, well really…

Because I am really really vain.

And strange

Really strange

My friends may forgive me.

Those new here, will not.

(Not really)

But I always tell me, I say, “Hey! Me! You can make new friends out there!”

I say, “But I love the friends I have already made.”

“Fuck ’em! The other me says.”

I grow some balls and kick my ‘other me to the curb.”

Why? Because a friend lost, hurts me.

Honestly

(You thought I was gonna say ‘really’ didn’t ya?)

Especially, if it comes from my vanity and my stupid forgetful lazy neglect. That hurts the worst.

Deeply.

Because, that one… should be preventable.

Therefore I leave you with this
(Yes. I did have a point)

How many out there feel or felt upon one time, that you were just a “Doll Part?”

(Yeah, that sounds gay)

And NO Offense to any of my gay friends out there: it is just an expression. (I think–if it offends–let  me know)

(Really–now you just knew–I had to slip that last one in, under some covers)

Then…

Get over it.

Answer the question and move on.

*End of Rant*

Below is a visual aid:

Ed. Note: Lance is one stupid son of a bitch.

This video below is significant to many of my friends who have suffered domestic violence. In the dark recesses of my feeble fucking mind, I knew this, yet I put the video in anyway.

Why? Because I love Love (Courtney)

That is no excuse. I need some sensitivity training. I am going to leave the video in this post, but now for different reasons: People Need To Wake Up To The Fact that here in this country and all over the world, there are women being abused.

Right NOW. Something has to be done. To quote Christopher Hitchens:

“The quickest way to end poverty is to empower women. Empower woman. Give them control of their reproductive bodies. Give them education. Let them have jobs.”

That is a paraphrase. But you can Google it, or I will do it for you. Next time I edit this stupid, thoughtless, insensitive post.

New Ed. Note: As promised hours ago…

And here we go with….Lenny!

427px-Lenny_Bruce_arrest

And Yes! I am going to continue to post shit that is on my mind. Ad nauseam.

Because this is my blog.

I mean no offense, but if you ever get offended here, well, I did warn you. (didn’t I?)

Okay, maybe I did not, but I am goddamn certain from day one, I never promised a floral garden.

Now did I?

(Sometimes, often, I out-type my brain–sorry)

Moving on…I guess this is a rant. (searching for a way to categorize this post)

Don’t worry: I will make up a new one if I havta. (and you real bloggers out there know what the fuck I am talking about. Doncha?)

And Fuck Yeah!

I think Courtney Love is fucking brilliant.

Wanna sue me?

The line forms to the right.

And Hell Yeah! “I wanna be the girl with the most cake!”

Don’t we all?

I mean,

Really?

*End*

The Greatest Story Ever Sold

(Most likely offensive to ‘People of Faith’–read at your own annoyance) 

****

The Greatest Story Ever Told (If told at Woodstock)

(And seriously Y’all, y’all need to watch the video First)

But before we go there enter:

This Post Will PISS some people Off (IF I am doing my job)

However I do NOT want to Piss Anyone Off (Not my job)

Ambiguous? Yeah!

So, therefore, and furthermore, and forevermore: I put below the ‘continue reading’ button.

And don’t shoot me: I just play piano here… on Tuesdays… and for milk money… for the kids.

The video is germane. Watch it.

Cheers, Peace, Blessings, Love and Happiness & Joy (and I do mean all of that shit. Sincerely. Hey by the way, Anyone seen Joy? She was just here a minute ago…)

Cast of Characters:

Mary, Mother Mary, Virgin Mary, Mother of All Inventions.

Woodstock_Mary

Joseph, Joe, Just Plain Joe, Cuckold, Erstwhile Surrogate Father of Jesus.

Woodstock_Joeseph

Ya gotta love Joe. Ya just gotta.

Baby Jesus, aka Baby Hey Zeus, aka, Christmas… Pre-sents

Woodstock_Baby_Jesus

Not even gonna comment on this one, but, be my guest.

Woodstock_Saint_Peter

Saint Peter

Woodstock_Young_Jesus_Struggling_Musician

Jesus Playing with the Mothers of Immaculate Conception, circa 0014 AD

Jesus grew up; tried to make a living, Playing Gigs.

But then…

Father told him to hang a right at Albequerky: Go to Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel; see the people they will love your act. (He said)

Jesus_Arrives_1

You Really Didn’t Believe That “Rode Into Town on an Ass” bit did you?

“Would Jesus wear a Rolex on his TV show? Fuck Yeah!”

No! Seriously,”

“Check it out”

Jesus_Arrives_2

“I’m There Dude!”

falwell

Brother Failwell

Then Dad said, “Go Preach Your Ass Off!

Woodstock_Sermon_On_The_Mount

Sermon on The Mount

(Chip off The Old Block)

And Jesus Said, “We’re there Dude! Just look at ‘em!”

Woodstock_Flock

Case Rested

Woodstock_Decided

Yay! Jesus!

“They’re eatin’ this shit up!
Hey! Judas! Come check this out!

Woodstock_Judas

Judas: Enema needing to Happen. “Nothing to see here; move along…”

Mary Mag! You too! (C’mere Baby!)”

“Sorry Dude. Busy. Get back to me, Yeah? Laters…BFF!”

“But Mary!? You carry… My Mom’s name! And now you tarry? Don’t make no sense!”

Woodstock_Mary_Mag2
“Ah shit!
Here come those Romanians Again! Don’t these people ever give up? Gotta go!”

Woodstock_The_Romans

I love the smell of burnt Jesus in the morning

“As God as My Wit-less-ness, I shall never be hungry again! (As long as I have these radishes)”

Last Supper

Last Toke, I mean Last Munchies

Woodstock_Last_Supper

Joe! Go Pick some Radishes. Jesus is hungry. And stop smokin’ that shit!

I did not put in The Crucifixion/Resurrection, (mainly because I don’t believe that shit and also because I could not find an example in the show) and also, mainly because at

Woodstock… drum roll please:

nobody had to die to save me.

It’s OK Jesus: I’m doin’ fine, but Thank You for askin’.

And Thank YOU to anyone who has travell’d this far with me.

Cheers,
Lance

Added Value:

Christopher Hitchens: On The Suicide of His Mother

This seems to be popular.

Of late.

fuk it.

Perhaps it is just the sign of the seasons….

Maybe we all want to commit suicide.

Relinquish the world back to the roaches.

Surely they could do no worse, management – wise.

The below is transcribed from Hitch’s book “Hitch-22”

Hitch 22 cigs

***

…because most of what I know about manic depression I first learned from Hamlet.

“I have of late,” the Prince of Denmark tells us, “but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth.” Everyone living has occasionally experienced that feeling, but the lines that accompany it are the best definition of the blues that was ever set down. (“Tired of living, scared of dying” is the next-best encapsulation, offered in “Old Man River.”) Who would carry on with the unending tedium and potential misery if they did not think that extinction would even be less desirable or—as it is phrased in another of Hamlet’s mood-swing soliloquies—if “the ever-lasting” had “not set his canon ‘gainst self-slaughter”?

There are fourteen suicides in eight works of Shakespeare, according to Giles Romilly Feddnen’s study of the question, and these include the deliberate and ostensibly noble ones of Romeo and Juliet and of Othello. It’s of interest that only Hamlet’s darling Ophelia, whose death at her own hands is not strictly intentional, it is the object of condemnation by the clergy. My own indifference to religion and refusal to credit any babble about an afterlife has, alas, denied me the hearty satisfaction experienced by Ophelia’s brother Laertes, who whirls on the moralizing cleric to say:

“I tell thee, churlish priest,

A ministering angel shall my sister be,

When thou liest howling.”

Memorable to be sure, but too dependent on the evil and stupidity of the heaven/hell dualism, and of scant use to me in deciding how it was that a thoughtful, loving, cheerful, person like Yvonne, who was in reasonable health, would want to simply give up.

I thought it might have something to do with what the specialists call “anhedonia,” or the sudden inability to derive pleasure from anything, most especially from the pleasurable. Al Alverez, in his very testing and demanding study of the subject, “The Savage God,” returns often to the suicide of Cesare Pavese, who took his own life at the apparent height of his powers.  

Don't stay here

“In the year before he died he turned out two of his best novels… One month before the end he received the Strega Prize, the supreme accolade for an Italian writer. ‘I have never been so much alive as now,’ he wrote, ‘never so young.’ A few days later he was dead. Perhaps the sweetness itself of his creative powers made his innate depression all the harder to bear.”

***

Thank you for reading.

-Lance

(We now return you to our regularly scheduled…)

For Reference:

I love Helena Bonham Carter… Cannot help myself. (This scene is disturbing: do Not Watch)

If You Watch Nothing Else, Please Please PLEASE  Watch This:

Credit: And watch it AGAIN!

Here now (I hope) is the proper credit:

https://www.youtube.com/user/jakuerika

God’s Favorite Mistake

singsongsm.png

“Lil Kim’s got the hydrogen bomb”
His news bitch announced in singsong
“He’ll mount it one day
“And launch it your way
“Then smartly fuck off to Hong Kong
So rong!”

***

There once was a boy name of Kim
Who decided to act on a whim
He launched a big bomb
In the direction of Guam
And that was the ending of him!

***

In a Loon we call Kim Jong Un
The World sees a silly buffoon
But he put up his Dukes
Oh Fuck me; They’re Nukes!
And The World is now singing new tunes!
(So soon?)

Bonus Track: ‘A Celestial North Korea’