C’on Ya’lls. This is a Fun, Self-Deprecatin’, (Low Fruit) Light-Hearted Post–Far Beyond Stupid. “Should I Go For It?” Naw. I Have Better Things To Do. Like Copin’ With A ‘Natural Disaster’

Wad’yall Say?

ShouldI go for it?

‘Could’ I go for it?

(I ‘could’ and ‘would’ really use the ten bucks!)

Enthusiastic Homer Says

“Hell-To-The-Hell Yeah!

Will definitely require some strong, mighty resolve and determination. Not to mention uncommon valor and courage…

And…

Some

REINFORCEMENTS!

So I sent out an urgent ‘Mayday! Mayday!’ to Three-Star General Woodbridge requesting he Muster his Marines:

Through a secure internet line I was able to listen in ‘real-time’ as The General briefed his men:

“Men, I’m not gonna Bullshit you, nor sugar-coat this. We are tasked with a very dangerous mission, fraught with peril. But I know you are up to the job. Many Men will die; not return alive, but remember this: No man left behind.”

Our mission is simple in concept, but will be difficult in execution. We have received a recon film from our man on the ground. He bravely risked his life in obtaining this intelligence, so pay close attention.”

Additionally, Sergeant Ihrke will be passing out a complete ‘Mission Objectives Packet’ containing still photographs and the most up-to-date intelligence available regarding the current situation on the ground.”

“Sergeant, you may proceed.”

“Good Day Men. Stand at Ease. Study all these items carefully, closely, and completely, with nothing but ‘attention to detail’ and the successful completion of the Mission Objective in the forefront of your minds.”

Succinctly put, our sole Mission is to Clean-Up This Shithole, taking as few casualties as Our Almighty General ‘Chesty’ Puller, will allow.”

(“RIP, Oh Great One”)

“Wheels up at zero five hundred hours.”

“OK. That’s it then!”

Now, let’s go Get Some!

“Fall Out!”  

Recon Film:

MUST STUDY THIS ONE FIRST MEN

Street Cred for Vid: Lance Marcom

***

Items Contained in the Mission Objectives Packet For Your Perusal Below.

But Be Thee Forewarned, The ‘Packet’ Was Compiled By a Moron: Possessing Not Much ‘Intelligence’ for an ‘Intelligence Officer.”

Not Sure If Any Value To The Marines

Oh My Goodness! We Got Ourselves a

Natural Disaster!

Yep! A Natural Disaster!

Heavy casualties taken

But we were not yet done

We stacked them up as cordwood

‘Til the Battle could be Won!

A Brief Interlude To Take You From The Carnage,

If Only For A Moment:

A War Poem”

By Lance A. Marcom

I Knocked a beer off my chair

It spilt everywhere

I wept

I cried

I did not die

(Just opened a new one)

And Carried On!

And Was Happy Again.   

We Captured A Spy Who Had Stealthily Penetrated In Behind Our Lines.

We Executed Him On The Spot

Having Been Thusly Compromised, General Woodbridge Ordered We Fortify Our Defenses.

We Did So

With A Bigger Wall

Coming Under Heavy Artillery Fire

We Were Forced To Hunker-In-Our-Bunker

The Enemy Was Amassing Large Numbers of Troops For A ‘Tet Offensive’

When It Finally Came

We Doggedly Held Our Ground.

And Punished Them All Around

Thusly They Ended Their

‘Gallipolian Endeavor in Shame

***

The War Dragged On For Months and Months

The Men Were Growing More and More

Fatigued and Morose

“How Long Will This Bullshit Go On?”

Could Often Be Heard About The Mess Tent At Night

Morale Was Low

***

Then One Day Word Came Down That ‘Peace’ Talks Were On-Going Somewhere In Europe.

“Paris, France” Was The Scuttlebutt

Made ‘Parfait’ Sense To ‘Moi

Those ‘Frogs’ Sucked At War, But They Were Damn Talented When It Came Time To Sue For Peace.

At Any Rate, Morale Was Lifted By The News.

This War Had Become Not Unlike ‘The Korea’, or Perhaps ‘The Nam‘, Or Perhaps ‘Le Deux’.

A ‘See-Saw’ War of Attrition

It Simply No Longer Made No Sense

Nor Showed No Sign of Contrition

We Had Gained A Little Ground, But Nowhere Near Enough To Justify All The Lives Lost Or Destroyed

***

Late One Evening Some of the Men Were Rummaging Around in the Galley Looking For a ‘Late-Night Snack’

Don’t Despair About The Frigidaire,

‘Cuz Now It’s Clean In There

Just Take My Word. You’ll Have To:

I’m Outta Film

Suddenly The Communications Officer Appeared, Running And Screaming Throughout The Camp:

“The War is OVER! The War is OVER!

‘Cease-Fire’ Effective in Twenty-Four Hours!”

Joyous Pandemonium Quickly Ensued

Whoa! Not-So-Fast Hot-Rod!

Twenty-Four Hours Can Be a

Very, Very Long Time

Beaucoup Bullshit Can Go Down in Twenty-Four Hours

After That Initial Orgasmic Spurt of Elation The Men Grew Nervous and Paranoid

Never A Great State Of Mind For A Fighting Man

No One, it Seemed, Wished to be The Last Man To Die in ‘Marcom’s Hooch War’

****

With The War ‘Over’

(For The Time-Being)

Things Settled Into ‘Détente Lite’

Nothing Left To Fight

The ‘Cold War’ Did Commence

And Stuck Us On The Fence

And Even More Stressing

The Bills Kept A-Coming

Never ‘Paid’ Them Much Attention Before

Way Too Busy, So… Ignore

But No Way Now To Relieve That Stress Somehow

Nor The Boredom

I Suppose I Could Work On Cleaning My Hooch Some More…

My Depravity Knows No Boundary

I have stocked up on Honourable Food & Beverage.

Brain-Food, Health-Food, Writer’s-Food & Liquid Propulsion.

Should be able to ‘Honourably’ Write Now.

I splurged and purchased a surprise ‘treat’ for the Gnats

*Evil Grin*

Yeah. Gonna give them the night off, so that they may binge–watch

“Alien”

Can you spot the ‘Surprise’ out of the

‘Many Other Myriad’ Goodies?

Parting Shots:

  1. If You have read this far, seek counsel.
  2. If you have read this far I ‘for-real’ love you.
  3. If you have read this far, I leave you with a little ‘touch of Joni.’

Far Too Many of Her Songs Make Up My Life’s Soundtrack.

Cheers My Friends!

“Twisted”

Vid Cred: JoniJourney

This is far Beyond Stupid. “Should I Go For It?”

Wad’yall Say?

ShouldI go for it?

‘Could’ I go for it?

(I ‘could’ and ‘would’ really use the ten bucks!)

Enthusiastic Homer Says

“Hell-To-The-Hell Yeah!

Will definitely require some strong, mighty resolve and determination. Not to mention uncommon valor and courage…

And…

Some

REINFORCEMENTS!

So I sent out an urgent ‘Mayday! Mayday!’ to Three-Star General Woodbridge requesting he Muster his Marines:

Through a secure internet line I was able to listen in ‘real-time’ as The General briefed his men:

“Men, I’m not gonna Bullshit you, nor sugar-coat this. We are tasked with a very dangerous mission, fraught with peril. But I know you are up to the job. Many Men will die; not return alive, but remember this: No man left behind.”

Our mission is simple in concept, but will be difficult in execution. We have received a recon film from our man on the ground. He bravely risked his life in obtaining this intelligence, so pay close attention.”

Additionally, Sergeant Ihrke will be passing out a complete ‘Mission Objectives Packet’ containing still photographs and the most up-to-date intelligence available regarding the current situation on the ground.”

“Sergeant, you may proceed.”

Sergeant Shannon Ihrke USMC

Study all these items carefully, closely, and completely, with nothing but ‘attention to detail’ and the successful completion of the Mission Objective in the forefront of your minds.”

Succinctly put, our sole Mission is to Clean-Up This Shithole, taking as few casualties as Our Almighty General ‘Chesty’ Puller, will allow.”

(“RIP, Oh Great One”)

“Wheels up at zero five hundred hours.”

“OK. That’s it then!”

Now, let’s go Get Some!

“Fall Out!”  

Recon Film:

MUST STUDY THIS ONE FIRST MEN

Street Cred for Vid: Lance Marcom

***

Items Contained in the Mission Objectives Packet For Your Perusal Below.

But Be Thee Forewarned, The ‘Packet’ Was Compiled By a Moron: Possessing Not Much ‘Intelligence’ for an ‘Intelligence Officer.”

Not Sure If Any Value To The Marines

Oh My Goodness! We Got Ourselves a Natural Disaster!

Yep! A Natural Disaster!

Heavy casualties taken

But we were not yet done

We stacked them up as cordwood

‘Til the Battle could be Won!

A Brief Interlude To Take You From The Carnage,

If Only For A Moment:

A War Poem”

By Lance A. Marcom

I Knocked a beer off my chair

It spilt everywhere

I wept

I cried

I did not die

(Just opened a new one)

And Carried On!

And Was Happy Again.   

We Captured A Spy Who Had Stealthily Penetrated In Behind Our Lines.

We Executed Him On The Spot

Having Been Thusly Compromised, General Woodbridge Ordered We Fortify Our Defenses.

We Did So

With A Bigger Wall

Coming Under Heavy Artillery Fire

We Were Forced To Hunker-In-Our-Bunker

The Enemy Was Amassing Large Numbers of Troops For A ‘Tet Offensive’

When It Finally Came

We Doggedly Held Our Ground.

And Punished Them All Around

Thusly They Ended Their

‘Gallipolian Endeavor in Shame

***

The War Dragged On For Months and Months

The Men Were Growing More and More

Fatigued and Morose

“How Long Will This Bullshit Go On?”

Could Often Be Heard About The Mess Tent At Night

Morale Was Low

***

Then One Day Word Came Down That ‘Peace’ Talks Were On-Going Somewhere In Europe.

“Paris, France” Was The Scuttlebutt

Made ‘Parfait’ Sense To ‘Moi

Those ‘Frogs’ Sucked At War, But They Were Damn Talented When It Came Time To Sue For Peace.

At Any Rate, Morale Was Lifted By The News.

This War Had Become Not Unlike ‘The Korea’, or Perhaps ‘The Nam‘, Or Perhaps ‘Le Deux’.

A ‘See-Saw’ War of Attrition

It Simply No Longer Made No Sense

Nor Showed No Sign of Contrition

We Had Gained A Little Ground, But Nowhere Near Enough To Justify All The Lives Lost Or Destroyed

***

Late One Evening Some of the Men Were Rummaging Around in the Galley Looking For a ‘Late-Night Snack’

Don’t Despair About The Frigidaire,

‘Cuz Now It’s Clean In There

Just Take My Word. You’ll Have To:

I’m Outta Film

Suddenly The Communications Officer Appeared, Running And Screaming Throughout The Camp:

“The War is OVER! The War is OVER!

‘Cease-Fire’ Effective in Twenty-Four Hours!”

Joyous Pandemonium Quickly Ensued

Whoa! Not-So-Fast Hot-Rod!

Twenty-Four Hours Can Be a

Very, Very Long Time

Beaucoup Bullshit Can Go Down in Twenty-Four Hours

After That Initial Orgasmic Spurt of Elation The Men Grew Nervous and Paranoid

Never A Great State Of Mind For A Fighting Man

No One, it Seemed, Wished to be The Last Man To Die in ‘Marcom’s Hooch War’

****

With The War ‘Over’

(For The Time-Being)

Things Settled Into ‘Détente Lite’

Nothing Left To Fight

The ‘Cold War’ Did Commence

And Stuck Us On The Fence

And Even More Stressing

The Bills Kept A-Coming

Never ‘Paid’ Them Much Attention Before

Way Too Busy, So… Ignore

But No Way Now To Relieve That Stress Somehow

Nor The Boredom

I Suppose I Could Work On Cleaning My Hooch Some More…

My Depravity Knows No Boundary

I have stocked up on Honourable Food & Beverage.

Brain-Food, Health-Food, Writer’s-Food & Liquid Propulsion.

Should be able to ‘Honourably’ Write Now.

I splurged and purchased a surprise ‘treat’ for the Gnats

*Evil Grin*

Yeah. Gonna give them the night off, so that they may binge–watch

“Alien”

Can you spot the ‘Surprise’ out of the

‘Many Other Myriad’ Goodies?

Parting Shots:

  1. If You have read this far, seek counsel.
  2. If you have read this far I ‘for-real’ love you.
  3. If you have read this far, I leave you with a little ‘touch of Joni.’

Far Too Many of Her Songs Make Up My Life’s Soundtrack.

Cheers My Friends!

Vid Cred: JoniJourney

Fuk Me! I am PISSE’D! Jury Duty, Texas Style Part Two–THE SYSTEM BROKE Down!

Part One Here.

After we had all settled in with our coffees and doughnuts graciously provided by Hunt County we began our deliberation by comparing notes from the previous day’s testimony. It didn’t take me long to figure out that not everyone had the same impressions of what had transpired. Therefore the first order of business was to pull everyone closer together on the ‘facts’ we could agree upon:

  1. The defendant, ‘Mr. Johnson’ was definitely at the scene at the time in question, approximately ten p.m.

  2. He gained entry into the trailer

  3. The girl, ‘Miss Shelton’ was in the trailer

  4. The defendant did take the shotgun

  5. The defendant was intoxicated when he was arrested

  6. All three of the principals knew each other

Miss Shelton’s testimony was that she had been asleep on the couch when Mr. Johnson kicked in the door and upon discovering her in the house grew violent, found the gun and proceeded to yell while pointing it at her and threatening to “Blow her f*#king head off!” if she didn’t stop screaming. She further testified that he began searching the living room looking for drugs all the while keeping the gun on her.

She said Johnson kept screaming, “Where’s the f*#king dope! Where’s the f*#king dope?” Then she said after a few minutes the owner of the trailer, ‘Mr. Rogers’ came in, shouted at Johnson and ran over to her, yelling at him to “get the f*#k out of my house!” The defendant grabbed the bottle of whiskey from his hand and ran out with the gun, got in his truck and sped away, slinging mud and gravel. Rogers called the police and approximately ten minutes later they arrived.

Johnson claimed that Rogers had given him permission to borrow the gun and to come by his house that night to pick it up. He said there was no altercation.

This was flatly denied by Rodgers. It had come out during testimony that the defendant had a record of violence, which we were supposed to ignore, as the objection from the defense was sustained.  It had also come out that the defendant had a back full of tattoos which displayed things like ‘cop killer’ and other unsavory images. The objection to this from the defense was also sustained, but not before Johnson had turned his back to the jury and pulled up his shirt. We were also supposed to ‘un-see’ the tattoos. Of course, I don’t think we were able to fully comply with either of these admonitions.

It had also been revealed that both the defendant and Rogers had been involved with drugs in the past.

It quickly became apparent that this was a simple case of ‘He said, She said, and He (Rogers) said’. So that is how we were to approach our deliberations. Who did we believe?

Rodgers had testified that he had been home with Miss Shelton up until approximately one hour before the alleged break in, but had gone out to purchase some whiskey before the stores closed (at nine p.m.) He ran into some buddies and stayed gone much longer than he had intended. He testified that when he finally did return sometime around ten p.m. he walked in on the defendant pointing the gun at Miss Shelton. He described her as visibly shaking and crying hysterically.

The defendant testified that when Rogers arrived he was walking out of the house with the gun he had been given permission to borrow crooked under his arm and that he had not threatened Miss Shelton or had even harsh words with her.

After the police questioned Miss Shelton and Rogers they went off in pursuit of the defendant and arrested him at eleven thirty-five. He had the shotgun in his possession and the bottle of Wild Turkey, which was about three-quarters full. He was taken to the Commerce City jail and booked on DUI.

The next day he was transferred to the Hunt County Jail and charged with the additional charges of assault and robbery.

We were shown photos of the trailer door, which did appear to have some damage, but we were also shown (by the defense) other photos of the general disrepair of the entire trailer. It was difficult to discern with certainty if the damage to the door was from someone kicking it in or just from general wear and tear and neglect.

These are the basics of the testimony.

Tomorrow I will get into the finer details and the heated deliberation.

Jury Duty, Texas Style, Part Three

Part Three Here

Juries are Stupid! Read The Atheist Part “Jury Duty, Texas Style: A Re-Post”

Several years ago (before I went to Iraq) I was called for Jury Selection.

jury-summons

My first thought was, “Damn it! I cannot afford this; I live paycheck to paycheck.” I was living in Commerce, Texas and though I had a decent and secure job, the pay just barely supported my lavish lifestyle: Beer, Cigarettes, a three DVD per week habit, computer games… Not to mention dog food, cat food and Lance food. Gasoline was not an issue: I had no car.

On the appointed day I dutifully showed up at the Hunt County Courthouse (in a borrowed car) along with about one hundred twenty thusly cursed potential selectees. They assembled us into a large room and passed out the questionnaires. It was quite noisy and seemed disorganized. I don’t recall any of the questions, save one:

“What is your religious affiliation”?

That was easy: I scribbled ‘atheist’, which was an honest answer and one certain, I surmised to exempt me, as Hunt County probably has more churches per capita than most counties in Texas.” Brilliant!

Imagine my disbelief (no pun), when I was selected.

The trial, as it turns out was for a felony charge of robbery and assault. I will summarize to the best of my recollection. The defendant was a young man, say, twenty something. The plaintiff, a young woman, also twenty something.

The alleged crime: The defendant (white male) broke into the trailer-house of a third party again twenty something, with the intent of stealing a shotgun and maybe a few beers. By the way, all the principles in this event were white and actually knew each other and were supposedly ‘friends’.

The defendant was unaware that the trailer was occupied by the young woman, who happened to be engaged to a fourth party, but claimed to just sleeping in the trailer, “because she had gotten too drunk to drive home.” The owner of the trailer was not home at this time.

Once discovered by the young woman, the defendant threatened her by leveling the shotgun and promising with utmost sincerity that he was about to “blow her fuckin’ head off.”

That’s the gist of the complaint.

The testimony took most of the day, and then we retired to our chambers. Hunt County Courthouse is not a new facility (1929).

The jury chambers were musty but reasonably well lit, due to the several large windows in the room. We were on the third floor of the courthouse and could see ‘freedom’ on the streets below. We seated ourselves around a wonderful solid oak conference table which reminded me of the dining room table my father had in his Victorian Era ‘Marcom Manor’. All that was missing was the fireplace and the crystal balls and the pewter figurines of demons and witches and dragons.

On the walls were old paintings of Texas pastoral country scenes, one requisite Texan Ranger on horseback with a Walker-Colt six-shooter in hand, and one poster showing “Justice is Blind” frayed at the edges and stuck to the wall with yellowed scotch tape, probably added some years after the paintings as an after thoughtful motivation, or reminder, or inspiration. Who knows?

First order of business was to select a foreperson. To my dismay I was elected through no fault of my own. I was trying to fly under the radar, and apparently had failed miserably. And after all that stealth training with the SEALs too! Shit.

We began the laborious debate on the testimony and evidence. Personally from the get go, I was leaning toward a guilty verdict, but not ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’ at this initial point. As I recall, our first ‘secret’ ballot, which I called for right off the bat, just to see where we were, reflected an equally divided jury. Clearly we had some work to do if we were to come to a unanimous decision. We spent what little was left of the rest of the afternoon kicking the testimony around and getting to know each other.

Seated just to my left was a white man, about my age sporting a crew cut and an out-spoken demeanor. By his words, it became immediately clear he had an education and was also of the mind no gray area existed here. The guy was guilty. “And what he needed was to find Jesus Christ.”

There was an elderly gentleman at the opposite end of the conference table who had a mild-mannered air, quite soft-spoken. He could go either way.

Much to my surprise a woman I had known years before, who was still married to a good friend, fellow Honey Grove native, and also a co-worker of mine from the Seventies was also there. Not sure which way she was leaning.

An elderly blue-haired lady sat next to her, and I could just tell, she did not feel the young man deserved prison. (The crime called for a minimum fifteen year sentence, as the defendant had a previous record. In Texas, I think it must be two strikes and yer out)

The rest rounded out our ‘Twelve Angry Men’ scenario.

At the end of the afternoon, and having taken one more secret ballot and having not come anywhere near to a unanimous decision we departed to return the next morning.

***

Jury Duty, Texas Style Part Two

Part Two

TT&H & Pyro-Maniacs is Goin’ ‘Green’! Recycle. Recycle. RECYCLE!! Recycled With Some Twists & Passion! “Shit That Makes Me Happy (OH, and Dick Latson–Those Memories Make Me Happy Too)” MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL!

This Post is a Chocolate MESS!

Pro-bab-Ally ‘Cause I’m SOBER!

Hahahahah!

Yes Paula

Opposites DO Attract

**********

Latson’s Printing & Office Supply

Where I Sold “The Best Years of my Life”

For Ten Bucks an Hour

Was It Worth It?

YES!

Every Dime

Ever’ Dime Not Earn’d

Best Family I Ever Had

We Were Always (Mostly) Happy

*****

I had a MAJOR Crush on Brenda–

Wife of Dick–

But Never Went No-Where.

Thank God!

But, in secret, I think her desire was there…

Ode to Dick Latson (who I have unfriended on FB, simply because he never ‘interacted’ with any of my posts. Look up my

series at texantales.com if you give a shit)

(I worked for him for over ten years–gave him and his business the ‘best years of my life.’ For not much money. No Regrets.)

And…

(This, my ‘un-friending’ him, does NEVER mean I do not love this man. I just cannot be bothered with ‘Friends’ who have not the time, nor the desire to interact. It is called “Social Media” for a reason.)

Dick Latson of “Latson’s Printing and Office Supply” fame.

Downtown Commerce, America

He saved my life back in 2001 or somewhere around there, date-wise. I honestly cannot recall the year. For our purposes the year don’t matter.

What DOES MATTER, is that he gathered me up while I was in a drunken, probably suicidal stupor and drove me to Greenville and deposited me at Glen Oaks Lunatic Hospital so I could get the ‘help’ I needed.

And dry out.

He did this for ME!

Because he is a great man.

And he gave a shit.

I will never forget his kindness.

And his giving a shit.

For me.

“For the Lance who is still alive:

I salute you!

Dick Latson.”

Probably, No! Undoubtedly! The best Boss (and Friend) I have ever had.

End….

Thank You

Drive Through

P.S. Little known fact about Dick Latson: Back when he was a senior in HS, he was the fastest ‘white boy’ in Texas. Went to State running the 440 in about 12 seconds (or something approaching that–he never bragged about it, but he casually mentioned it to me one day–don’t even remember how or why the subject came up.

Most likely I had been bragging about my Navy SEALs efforts, or something…and I needed to come back down to Earth and get over myself.

By way of some fucking addendum dum dum dung, er… dumb;

I very recently emailed Lanie Gardner asking permission to share her work. (She has not responded—yet—probably won’t (Would You?) But if she does and tells me to ‘cease and desist’ I will. But FB can kiss my ass in the meantime.)

The email from me was prompted by a stupid pop-up I got from Fake-Book, saying they had muted one of Lanie’s videos I had attached to one of my posts. ‘Copyright Violation’ (I will drop the screen capture in the Comments Section)

My original post was detailing how I regretted never having had a daughter and I went into some detail that if I had had one, she would be as this girl: Ever happy, ever upbeat, always smiling.

But no such person exists in real life. (I am cognizant of this)

We are all complex.And we all suffer the entire range of Emotions.And this is a GOOD thing.Because it is what makes us Human.And separates us from the gnats of the World.

And, Speaking of Gnats Were We?)

I CANNOT FIND The Orig ‘Constriction’ Poster To Cred… Believe me: I Tried,

I love My Life and I love My American ‘Culture’

You may have to ‘rewind’ this one because YouTube is severely borked.

*****

Screw This!

There is absolutely

NO WAY

I am gonna be Able to Cred ALL These Vids Today

OK???

(I’ll Get A Round Tuit)

Eventually

Inshallah!

Y’alls!

Zero Six Hundred Hours: Sailor Lance is Slightly Drunk, But Alive & Awake & And Aware. Yet Not Quite There. Didn’t Care. Not Fit For Duty. My Bad. I will Suffer… The Consequences… Laters

Drunken Sailor – Irish Rovers

“May Yah Be A Half-Hour In Heaven B’fore The Devil Knows Yer Dead.”

Must Watch This One Below Y’all!

Cred: Drunken Sailer – Irish Rovers & Momratz

******

Zero Six

Knock upon my door.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck?”

Unhesitant, I opened my door

(I fear nothing, nor no one)

Standing before me in the pre-dawn was Timothy, my neighbor.

“Sup Tim?” I asked Tim

“Can you drive me to the gas station for some gas?”

“Nope,” I said. “I been drinkin’, but you can drive.” I handed him my Labomba Keys.

“Can we also drop my woman at her job and my son at school?”

“Hey, Yer the Captain now.

I’m just the Boatswain’s mate. Let’s shove off and get this ship underway.”

There was only one problem: My Labomba is a ‘Two-Seater’ due to the fact that my entire life is stowed in the back.

Tim’s Girl is rather large. We tried to wedge us into the shotgun seat. No dice. Ain’t gonna happen… And even if it had, the ship would list… dangerously to starboard

“Tim” I said, “Maybe you can re-arrange some of that shit in the back and free up a seat.
He did just that.

His girl and his son parked themselves in the newly liberated seat and off we sped into the pre-dawn Texas morning.

To be continued…

Or not

*******

Bonus SAILOR SHITE

Rescue Mission

Cred for Vid Share: Moki John

Sailor Man!

One-Way Ticket: