In The True Texan Fashion, I Caint Make This Shit Up… Beep Beep Beep, Cata-Glory… I Humbly Submit This. Updated for 2017, G’rrr Twenny Twenny Two

Watch the vid.

Please

Nuff said

We love You Molly!

“If you could see me now….”

Street Cred For The Vid: The Script

Molly, We need you now more than ever Molly.

You Texan Bitch!

“There’ a lot to like there”

Related: Kinky Friedman

MUST WATCH MUST WATCH

MUST FUCKING WATCH!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

Yes. A Repost. If you do nothing else, please scroll down and listen to the clip. It is hysterical (and real) Even better.

Cheers Y’all and Happy Saturday    Oops! Sunday (is it?)  

*** 

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4E_Nrm0j8k) once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy.

JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

‘The Time Has Come,’ The Walrus Said, ‘To Talk of Many Things: Of Murdered Birds, Of Turtles Green, and Hippies Sellin’ Rings.’ -With Apologies to Lewis Carroll

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. 

Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace.

All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug? Ladybird? (Just behind his right hand, in case y’all don’t recognize her) Of course, that is Jackie on the other side.

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldly-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

https://lbjtapes.org/

https://lbjtapes.org/browse-conversations

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.

***

I just throw this in, ’cause it is my blog and I like it.

Peace!

Out On Some Limb… Clinging to a Branch-True Texan Style

0413_DixieChicks_TMPost1.jpg

Here is Lance: ON the Record. (and on a rant; a long overdue rant)

I do not give two warm cups of spit, ‘Bout the politics of the Dixie Chicks. But I love them. They are all… Texas. And, after-all, Home-Grown. Hey! Texas! Git over it! Texas was built upon the backs of strong wimmens… Jes sayin’. Y’all know this (Texas!)

I love everything which pukes itself from Texas. Even them Dixie Chicks. I stood by them then. I stand by them now.

Watch the vid,  then tell me there ain’t no Texan Talent There.

Dare ya! (‘Tis a fight I will join–try me!). But, bring the big guns. I will  debate you up, if ya don’t. I have some ducks all rowed up. 

And y’all know… well, ya know, I am just joking (’bout the guns) This is a fight, I will only join in the vestiges of parlay… and discourse. (Seems I have grown a… well, I still have some fight in me, for certain ‘issues’–this being one.)

Cheers!

Lance (True lover of Texas Women) Lord knows I have known many (Biblical sense and otherwise, sidewise sense), and they all, to a woman, scared the ever-loving shit outta me.

That is their nature (and how they roll)

“Don’t Mess With Texas” (Women)

Trust me on this one Y’all.

(And yes I know, Nat is the only ‘Native Texan’ in the group, but the band was birth’d in Dallas)

Dallas sometimes gets lucky that way.

Still tryin’ To make up for JF Kennedy.

 

End of Rant

And it all leads into my Shonnie story…

(And, I really, like, commas, comma)

I love Texas!

I really do.

tex flag

“Contrash” this with Lenny

Just saying…

I LOVE YOU EMILY… JUST SAYIN’.

*************

Fun Fact: The dude playing the mandolin is Nat’s Daddy: Lloyd Maines

(See above embedded vid–“Wide Open Spaces.”)

*********

Now, I ain’t sayin’ The Stud is ‘Feminine’—

He DID Produce a VERY STRONG 

Texan Woman!

I just love this song!

So, as is my wont,

I drop it in.

Just for grins.

********

Bonus

(for anyone who is bored and likes to

“Read-More-About -It”:)

https://www.texasmonthly.com/articles/yall-in-the-family/

*********

Yeah! I am a feminist!

(But only for Texas Wimmens)

I LOVE Texan Women.

Have I ever mentioned this?

Git Over it!

Texan Girl Power!

I love The (Dixie) Chicks!

(Figger That One Out Yet?)

***********

If you wanna engage me in a

Flame War

(That You Will Sure-As-Shit Certainly Lose…)

Attack Them.

Feel Free!

It’s your virtual life.

After All

“FTW”: Best Tattoo In The Nav: Means “Fuck The World” Very Popular In The Nav.. I Am Livid! Not Sure Why.

(And I am LMFAO! Because No One Is Gonna Get Within A Mile of This Post! Fukking Cowards!) Still Laughing! And here I thought Y’all were made of ‘Sterner Stuff!’ Guess I was misinformed! Hahahahaha!

*****

I just finished watching Sleepy Joe Biden Bang on and on and on about

The Fucking Kenny-Dies

Fucking Kennedys!

Caint Stop Laughing at Their Joke

Which at the time was on Us:

The U.S. of Us!

Vid Cred: Next of Ken

***

And All they “did” for

Civil Rights!

BULLSHITE!

JFK was so inept he could not even get a pay raise through Congress—For Congressmen! LMFAO!

Lest we forget:

It was LBJ

Who pushed that Civil Rights legislation down the throat of Congress!

Fuck did the Kenny-Dees ever do for us???

Promise the Fuckin’Moon?

***

Bay of Piglets?

***

Dead Girl in Chappaquiddick?

Fucking MORON!

***

Mary Jo Kopechne

Rest in Peace Beautiful Young Lady

And This SHIT SAD STORY Just Repeating Itself!

***

JF-Fucking Kay Didn’t do shit!

Except fuck Marilyn Monroe!

(And Probably Had Her Murdered)

***

His ONLY Claim to Fame!

Did Fuckin’ Sleepy Joe even mention LBJ??

No Fucking Way!

What a stupid asshole we have in OUR White Mouse House!

I am gonna loosely quote Molly Ivins here if she were still with us

On Joe Biden:

“If you put that man’s brain in a bumble bee it would fly backwards.”

***

I am so fucking pissed right now!

Can you tell?

Thank God For Lee Harvey Oswald!

(And Crew)

BANG! BANG! ASSHOLE!

WELCOME TO TEXAS!

Fun Fact: My Step-Mother Worked For Jack Ruby

I harbor NO LOVE for Kennedys

Does it show?

***

This is Good

Not Great

But Worth your time

Trust me

I’m With The Government!

Hahahahaha!

Content Creator Cred: MrBettsClass

Fuk This! I’ll Re-post it! Out On Some Limb… Clinging to a Branch-True Texan Style

Ed note 2021:

I spent four years in Iraq.

Just sayin for what the fuck it is worth.

0413_DixieChicks_TMPost1.jpg

Here is Lance: ON the Record. (and on a rant; a long overdue rant)

I do not give two warm cups of spit, ‘Bout the politics of the Dixie Chicks. But I love them. They are all… Texas. And, after-all, Home-Grown. Hey! Texas! Git over it! Texas was built upon the backs of strong wimmens… Jes sayin’. Y’all know this (Texas!)

I love everything which pukes itself from Texas. Even them Dixie Chicks. I stood by them then. I stand by them now.

Watch the vid,  then tell me there ain’t no Texan Talent There.

Dare ya! (‘Tis a fight I will join–try me!). But, bring the big guns. I will  debate you up, if ya don’t. I have some ducks all rowed up. 

And y’all know… well, ya know, I am just joking (’bout the guns) This is a fight, I will only join in the vestiges of parlay… and discourse. (Seems I have grown a… well, I still have some fight in me, for certain ‘issues’–this being one.)

Cheers!

Lance (True lover of Texas Women) Lord knows I have known many (Biblical sense and otherwise, sidewise sense), and they all, to a woman, scared the ever-loving shit outta me.

That is their nature (and how they roll)

“Don’t Mess With Texas” (Women)

Trust me on this one Y’all.

(And yes I know, Nat is the only ‘Native Texan’ in the group, but the band was birth’d in Dallas)

Dallas sometimes gets lucky that way.

Still tryin’ To make up for JFK.

 

End of Rant

And it all leads into my Shonnie story…

(And, I really, like, commas, comma)

I love Texas!

I really do.

tex flag

“Contrash” this with Lenny

Just saying…

I LOVE YOU EMILY… JUST SAYIN’.

*************

Fun Fact: The dude playing the mandolin is Nat’s Daddy: Lloyd Maines

(See above embedded vid–“Wide Open Spaces.”)

*********

Now, I ain’t sayin’ The Stud is ‘Feminine’—

He DID Produce a VERY STRONG 

Texan Woman!

I just love this song!

So, as is my wont,

I drop it in.

Just for grins.

********

Bonus

(for anyone who is bored and likes to

“Read-More-About -It”:)

https://www.texasmonthly.com/articles/yall-in-the-family/

*********

Yeah! I am a feminist!

(But only for Texas Wimmens)

I LOVE Texan Women.

Have I ever mentioned this?

Git Over it!

Texan Girl Power!

I love The (Dixie) Chicks!

(Figger That One Out Yet?)

***********

If you wanna engage me in a

Flame War

(That You Will Sure-As-Shit Certainly Lose…)

Attack Them.

Feel Free!

It’s your virtual life.

After All

I am Re-Posting This… Because… Just Be-Cuz.. “Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts” (And Once More, WP Won’t Let Me Properly EDIT This!–GD U WP!!) I Miss My Big Sis–My Madelyn.

I Miss My Big Sis–My Madelyn. (I Miss My Functional Prostate TOO — Caint Piss For Shit–TMI?–WHO AM I?)

Yes. A Repost. If you do nothing else, please scroll down and listen to the clip. It is hysterical (and real) Even better.

Cheers Y’all and Happy Saturday    Oops! Sunday (is it?)  

*** 

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4E_Nrm0j8k) once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy. JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace. All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug? Ladybird? (Just behind his right hand, in case y’all don’t recognize her) Of course, that is Jackie on the other side.

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldly-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

(http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/dictabelt.hom/content.asp)

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.

***

I just throw this in, ’cause it is my blog and I like it.

Peace!