“I Need a Brand New Key” Or “Adventures in Alcohol-(isms)”

“Brand New Key”

Video Share Credit: alecwally23 (Brilliant, Wonderfully Charming, Delightful Video)

“A 8mm film done by my sister while
in high school for a class project
in the 70’s with music by Melanie
that I transferred to tape. Location Wichita Kansas.”

–alecwally23

Melanie! Melanie! Melanie!

Marry Me!

I promise!

I’ll be True!

To You!

And Only YOU!

Vid Share Cred: 64downtown

***

I need a New Key: This One I got Ain’t User Friendly.

Why do I make my life so difficult?

I just got home from my drunken booze run.

Yes, I know! I promised to never drive While Blind.

Guess what?

I broke that promise. But I rationalized:

The trip wasn’t far, just as long as I didn’t trip when gettin’ outta my car…

Drunks can rationalize ANYTHING. Trust me. I know.

Anyway…

I broke that premise, promise.

(I was seeing double)

Foreigner – Double Vision

Vid Cred: RHINO

***

This weren’t my first rodeo–I knew how to get by:

I just closed one eye.

(I once drove half-way from San Diego to Las Vegas with one eye closed.–‘nother story…)

Once home it took me five minutes to navigate my key into the door of my apartment. And the one I had in my paw didn’t seem to be working at all.

Imagine my  shameful shame. Looking about, hoping no one was “seeing” me with one eye or three.

A little “added value” for reference:

Just a little Ol’ Band O’ Bro’s from Texas.

(aka ‘Tejas’)

“Driving While Blind”

NEVER, EVER DRIVE DRUNK. YOU WILL REGRET

(I have never been ‘busted’ for that, but I could have killed someone. And this would’ve ruined my life, not to mention theirs)