Did I ACTUALLY WRITE THIS SHITE?! Someone, Anyone! Please Put Me Away Hahaha! ‘Insanity’ is Such A Lonely / Lovely Word–As is “Honesty” Lonely…

Try to find just one good honest man these days.

You’ll Go Insane With the ‘Looking’


This One, This Is

‘Lance-A-Lot’ Flew Over The Coo-Coo’s Nest.

Please Enjoy Or At Least,

Try Not To Cry

(I, personally, can never make it to the end of the movie because

I know how it sadly ends.

And, of course I had read the book

(Y’all Just Know I Have)

Far Too many times

Street Cred: Thug Notes


They’re Coming To Take Me Away. HAHA!

Weird-Press Cannot Keep Up With The Pace of My Mind.

I’m Shocked!


Oh! And by-the-way,

I’d Prefer A Rubber-Room With A View–

Too Much to Ask?

Never mind!

And Yes! I have been to Italy



I Desired This At-The-Top

But Guess What?

FU WordAPress!


Oh! Scr’w It! I Tried!

I got so stupid drunk on stupid drunk this morning,

I Actually Forgot My Name

Had to refer to my driver’s licence–

Just to try to out to Figger Out Who I Was

Please Calgone!

Take Me Away!

I’ll Pay!

They’re Coming–I Can Smell Their Apprehension.

Going into Battle and all that jazz.

Just tryin’ to remember who the fuk I was supposed to fukken be.

Went to the hospital,

They Reminded Me Of who I was supposed to be not.

Then deep depression struck me…

Over that sudden realization

So I tried to remember

That Day in September…

Tenth, But I Cannot Re-Call,

Even Though I am Fairly Certain I Was There…

When I Was born

Into this Gog-For-Saken World

I said,

“I don’t wanna be that guy”

They said

“Sorry Asshole: this is who you be”…

They had proof

see below

C’est Moi!

Drunken Sailer – Irish Rovers

“Put Him In-A-Long-Boat ‘Til He’s Sober.”

Good Luck With That!

I just wanna go home

So Leave me the fu*k alone!


I Fukken Hate ’em!

nOT THE pEEPS. Just The Concept

Missing Ship’s Movement—Worst ‘Sin’ In The USN. Court Martial Offense. Walk-The-Plank Sentence Immanent

Bon Voyage!

(During ‘War-Time’ Especially.)

Done Deal

You’re Going To Navy Jail!


This is a ‘Sea Story’
Albeit, A ‘Rare’ True One
Here Goes!

Better Batten Down Them Hatches!


Just to get Y’all ‘In-The-Mood’

Irish Rovers-Drunken Sailor

“May You Be Half An Hour In Heaven Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead.”

Cred: Irish Rovers

As We (USS Callaghan, DDG 994)

Were steaming out of San Dog Naval Base
Just beginning our World Cruise, escorting The USS Kitty Hawk
(A ‘Bird Farm—Aircraft Carrier—To ‘No Fuk’ Virginia, Naval Station)

Terminally Related:

As we were just making the turn to La Jolla, we all spied a fishing boat steaming at full speed aiming at our stern.
Our Skipper slow’d down The Callaghan.
Finally Full stop.
As a matter of fact.

Cap’n Allowed this fishing boat to pull up at our stern.
Fishing boat came up along.

To everyone’s astonishment, some young ‘Squiddy’ (Navy Parlance for A Young idiot fresh out of boot-camp)
Was on-Board.

He was a “Shipmate” Albeit A Stupid One.


Nathan Evans – There once was a ship that put to sea

With the assistance of us, The Callaghan-Crew, and the fishermen we managed to get the young idiot on-board. Pretty Certain He was still drunk’r Than Cooter Brown
We continued our freshly began voyage.

And Pretty certain ‘Capn’s Mast was in his very near future

Turn’s out, our Capt’n was lenient and let him off with just the ‘Blue-Plate Special’

Three months restriction

Reduction in rank

Six days bread an water in the brig

Fun fact, as Ship’s Armorer, I was in charge of the brig. Bad News for him, as Having recently rocked out Of SEAL Training, I did not have a sense of humor when it came to Black-Shoe Naval Idiots



Zero Six Hundred Hours: Sailor Lance is Slightly Drunk, But Alive & Awake & And Aware. Yet Not Quite There. Didn’t Care. Not Fit For Duty. My Bad. I will Suffer… The Consequences… Laters

Drunken Sailor – Irish Rovers

“May Yah Be A Half-Hour In Heaven B’fore The Devil Knows Yer Dead.”

Must Watch This One Below Y’all!

Cred: Drunken Sailer – Irish Rovers & Momratz


Zero Six

Knock upon my door.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck?”

Unhesitant, I opened my door

(I fear nothing, nor no one)

Standing before me in the pre-dawn was Timothy, my neighbor.

“Sup Tim?” I asked Tim

“Can you drive me to the gas station for some gas?”

“Nope,” I said. “I been drinkin’, but you can drive.” I handed him my Labomba Keys.

“Can we also drop my woman at her job and my son at school?”

“Hey, Yer the Captain now.

I’m just the Boatswain’s mate. Let’s shove off and get this ship underway.”

There was only one problem: My Labomba is a ‘Two-Seater’ due to the fact that my entire life is stowed in the back.

Tim’s Girl is rather large. We tried to wedge us into the shotgun seat. No dice. Ain’t gonna happen… And even if it had, the ship would list… dangerously to starboard

“Tim” I said, “Maybe you can re-arrange some of that shit in the back and free up a seat.
He did just that.

His girl and his son parked themselves in the newly liberated seat and off we sped into the pre-dawn Texas morning.

To be continued…

Or not



Rescue Mission

Cred for Vid Share: Moki John

Sailor Man!

One-Way Ticket: