I Am Doll Parts, Or… “How I Came to Live in The Shit Hole Garage Apartment Which was not Really a Garage Apartment, but only a Shit-Hole Underneath a Garage Apartment.”

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

Yes, I’m In-Love With Courtney Love.

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

Redundant?

Yes, I Know

 

Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.

Madelyn My Sister (step-sister)

“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?”

was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.

I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.

Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.

Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm (just like this place) to be sure.

How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.

And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).

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So, The Commerce PD Just Arrested ME. Arrested Me & Returned me to the Hospitably Hos-spittal -al. And All that Magical Magic Would Entail For Me: The Commerce, American Hospital.

Long story ‘Bout Me–

Maybee Later I’ll Tell The Story.

Trust Me: It Ain’t Easy Being Me.

True  Story

At least I got me a souvenir:

Get Well Soon!

Cred for vid: =


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Hadassah

Kinda, Slightly, Up-Dated. And Y’all Just Know, I Am Inherently Lyin’…. “How I came to live in the Shit Hole Garage Apartment which was not really a garage apartment, but only a Shit Hole underneath a garage apartment”

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

 

Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.

Madelyn, My Sis,

was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.

I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.

Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.

Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm (just like this place) to be sure.

How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.

And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).

Continue reading

HOSPITALS. “Plural” Thirteen Days Back-To-Back. Up-Date: Oops, I Did It Again. Recently Back In Hospital: Same Song, Different Verse

BRITNEY!

STAYIN’ THE HELL ALIVE!

This is Just the ‘Trailer’

Full Movie Coming Soon To A Theatre Near You.

Soon, Very Soon

Keeping as a souvenir: (I’ll Never wash that wrist Again!)

***

What Does DT Man Look Like, You May Wonder

Here is a Clue:

Cred: ‘Scared Sober with Delirium Dirk – Real Delirium Tremens and Alcohol Withdrawal

****

Street Cred:  ‘Christy Moore’

****

Stairway to the Bottom

Street Cred: Kris

***

Oh HELL YEAH!

Kinda Made Me Wanna Stick Around For Another Month

***

Don’t Even Ask…

****

Footnote to This Story:

Today I sent these Flowers (and two boxes of Chocolate)

And these Heart-Felt words :

“Thank You All For Taking Such Loving Good Care Of Me.

I Shall Never Forget Your Kindness And Your Graciousness.

My Very Best Wishes,

Lance”

Chapter Two Here

My Most Recent Experience With The Minions of the Commerce Cop Shop… I Love The Commerce PD; They Look Out For Me.

I Will Expand Upon This Later. Probably Much Later. If Ever. So Don’t Hold Your Breath. We Shall See. See you in Jail. Cheers!

Morons Minion’ng Menions (Don’t Mention Minions In My Recent Present Preference Precedent)

Moron 'R'' Us!

Yet Another Re-RuM Just for Fun: “How I came to live in the Shit Hole Garage Apartment which was not really a garage apartment, but only a Shit Hole Underneath a Garage Apartment…”

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

Street Cred: Courtney

****

Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.

My Sis, Madelyn, was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.

I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.

Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.

Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm (just like this place) to be sure.

How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.

And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).

Continue reading