I Grow Weary, Teary, — Weary of Beating Me UP–Is There Not Someone Else??? To Beat Up? On Me?— This One, I Wrote/Felt/Deep Was Painful To Admit… Pls Re-Visit, and this time… Comment. I Need it! “Janis Ian handed my ass to me. For one shining brief moment, I had the attention of Janis Ian. Then I somehow managed to Fuck That up.”

This post is a travesty.

Cred for Share, As if I Care—

So There: Three Dog Night I may fix it later, but do not fuckin’ count on it.

For one shining brief moment, I had the attention of Janis Ian Then I managed to fuck it up. I fucked it up. Confucckin congats to me.

Lance Marcom <lancemarcom781@gmail.com>3:45 AM (11 minutes ago)
to Marla

And of course, I fucked it up.

! REMemBER PHOTOGRAPHS… Of My Life—They all Perished in a fire

Lit By My Ex-Wife—I forget the number–Let Us Just call her “Wife-the-Last” Oh Yeah!Now UI recall! She was the Nordic One!

I said, “Do you wish me dead?”

Lip service to books you’ve read

Articles on how to bed a bird in flight

You called it love

I called it greed

You say, “You take what you want”

I said, “You get what you need”

Go on, be a hero, be a man

Make your own destiny if you can

Go find a fence

Locate a shell

And hide yourself, go on, go to hell!

Go away from me

I need no charity

Janis Ian handed my ass to me.

I deserved this.

(Because I am an asshole but had temporarily misplaced my ass.)

Janis returned it to me with not-so-well wishes.

I should have learned the truth at seventeen. But I didn’t. I am still studying and yet I remain optimistic for the future. Someday I just may become a real gentle…man

***

Janis Ian Message to me (on Facebook):

“Lance Marcom uh… I have no idea why you took off at me like that. I said people could share because inevitably, people post on threads asking if they can share. And I’m sorry if you were “triggered ” by my offer, but if offering the option to share some thoughts written by a very dear friend of mine – who by the way is not having a great year, and certainly has more urgent things to do with his time than the way you just spent yours – caused your upset… well then, take your triggered self somewhere else. If you’re that big a “fan”, you’d know how little I think of people who use “triggered ” as an excuse, or profanity as an attempt at English.

As to telling you to “fuck off” years ago, apparently I didn’t make myself clear enough at the time, though as you admit, I didn’t say that. However, your over the top responses and insults to everyone who responded show your self-pitying true self.

Apologies mean nothing if you’ve understood nothing, Lance. Apologies mean nothing if you’ve learned nothing. And it really is time for you to take your very sensitive triggered self and work on fixing your life, instead of interfering with mine.”

***

 (After reading her proper ‘dress-down’, I retired to my “stupid corner” opened a can of worms and ate all of them–in shame)

“When payment due exceeds accounts received.”

I will always love you Janis.

You are a beautiful, brilliant, brilliant songwriter and performer.

******

“Don’t spoil it all; I can’t recall a time when you were struck without an answer.”

–Janis

“And For a dime I can talk to God.

Dial a Prayer…

Are You There?

Do You Care?

Are You There?”

–Janis

“It t’was an accident”

Are You There???

Do You Care?

I don’t care anymore

Isn’t that Sad??

This Post Requires Mo’ Luv: It is All About Alchohol-hisem’es “Shoot at me, You Sumbitch. You Caint Hit Shit!”

My childhood was kinda messed up.

***

“Between the lines of photographs I’ve seen the past. It isn’t pleasing.”

-Janis Ian

This post is for Teela

Teela

******************

My grandfather beat his wife. He was a jealous man. He was a boxer in his youth, and his beatings were top-notch.

He could beat:

This man. That man. Any man. (He could beat women too)

And he did; he beat my grandmother.

For fifty years.

He was a jealous man.

He hated me, but more important, he hated the spring I had sprung from.

He hated those “Marcoms.”

“Who the hell do they think they are, Boy? Doctors, lawyers? Scum! That’s what they are!”

“Yes, gran-dad, they are scum.”

“That old Doc Marcom… he is communisss.”

“Yes, Grand-dad, surely”

“If’n you sass me Boy, I gonna send you there to live among ‘em.”

“Yes, Granddaddy.”

“Go on in there and do yer homework.”

“Yes, Granddaddy.”

That conversation happened in 1969, if memory serves.

In 1974, when I had ‘matured’ and I was spending a summer there (in Winnsboro), late one night, my Grandmother came flying through my room:

“Lance! Lance! He’s trying to kill me! Help me!”

I jumped out of bed, followed them onto the porch, and confronted my so old nemesis:

“Hey! You son of a bitch! Don’t be hittin’ my grandmother!,” I shouted.

He took a swing and a miss.

I countered and decked him. Knocked him off the porch actually.

He gathered his wits and said,

“Boy! I am gonna shoot your ass!” And  I believed him.

He ran into the house, as I was grabbing my Grandmother by the arm and dragging her to the road. He reappeared with his deer rifle and shot at us. We dived into the bar ditch, an’ cowered.

He missed.

But he did not miss the mark that I would have some difficulties lookin’ at him as ‘Gran-dad” anymore.

But… we forgave him.

We should not have.

(I know this now)

****

OK

Just to try to tie this one up since some have wanted to know the ‘ending’.

Somewhere about sunrise Gran-Ma an’ me made our way back home.

Granddaddy was up (kinda). I warily looked at him.

He had sobered up by this point.

I said something profound like “Good Day Sir”—I used to be a smart-ass kid—guess I still am.

Anyway,

Grand-Ma packed some clothing into a suitcase.

I grabbed all my books.

We loaded ourselves and all our stuff into the car and headed south.

To Houston where my mom lived (she was more crazy than her father, but if you have ‘read’ me, you already know this)

But at least she was usually ‘un-armed.’

***

“You who are so good with words….”

Diamonds & RUST

Vid Cred: Dave Bing

(And, once again Dave! I don’t need the fuckin’ words! I have Functional EARS!)

I am Reposting This For My Dead Sister: She Will Read It. In Heaven Which, if There is Such a Place, Is Where She Belongs You Don’t Need To… Read This. It is Only For Her. “Janis Ian handed my ass to me.”

I said, “Do you wish me dead?”

Lip service to books you’ve read

Articles on how to bed a bird in flight

You called it love

I called it greed

You say, “You take what you want”

I said, “You get what you need”

Go on, be a hero, be a man

Make your own destiny if you can

Go find a fence

Locate a shell

And hide yourself, go on, go to hell!

Go away from me

I need no charity

Janis Ian handed my ass to me.

I deserved this.

(Because I am an asshole but had temporarily misplaced my ass.)

Janis returned it to me with not-so-well wishes.

I should have learned the truth at seventeen. But I didn’t. I am still studying and yet I remain optimistic for the future. Someday I just may become a real gentle…man

***

Janis Ian Message to me (on Facebook):

“Lance Marcom uh… I have no idea why you took off at me like that. I said people could share because inevitably, people post on threads asking if they can share. And I’m sorry if you were “triggered ” by my offer, but if offering the option to share some thoughts written by a very dear friend of mine – who by the way is not having a great year, and certainly has more urgent things to do with his time than the way you just spent yours – caused your upset… well then, take your triggered self somewhere else. If you’re that big a “fan”, you’d know how little I think of people who use “triggered ” as an excuse, or profanity as an attempt at English.

As to telling you to “fuck off” years ago, apparently I didn’t make myself clear enough at the time, though as you admit, I didn’t say that. However, your over the top responses and insults to everyone who responded show your self-pitying true self.

Apologies mean nothing if you’ve understood nothing, Lance. Apologies mean nothing if you’ve learned nothing. And it really is time for you to take your very sensitive triggered self and work on fixing your life, instead of interfering with mine.”

***

 (After reading her proper ‘dress-down’, I retired to my “stupid corner” opened a can of worms and ate all of them–in shame)

“When payment due exceeds accounts received.”

I will always love you Janis.

You are a beautiful, brilliant, brilliant songwriter and performer.

******

“Don’t spoil it all; I can’t recall a time when you were struck without an answer.”

–Janis

“And For a dime I can talk to God.

Dial a Prayer…

Are You There?

Do You Care?

Are You There?”

–Janis

Janis Ian handed my ass to me. For one shining brief moment, I had the attention of Janis Ian. Then I managed to fuck it up.

This post is a travesty.

I may fix it later, but do not fuckin’ count on it.

For one shining brief moment, I had the attention of Janis Ian Then I managed to fuck it up. I fucked it up. Confucckin congats to me.

Lance Marcom <lancemarcom781@gmail.com>3:45 AM (11 minutes ago)
to Marla

And of course, I fucked it up.

I said, “Do you wish me dead?”

Lip service to books you’ve read

Articles on how to bed a bird in flight

You called it love

I called it greed

You say, “You take what you want”

I said, “You get what you need”

Go on, be a hero, be a man

Make your own destiny if you can

Go find a fence

Locate a shell

And hide yourself, go on, go to hell!

Go away from me

I need no charity

Janis Ian handed my ass to me.

I deserved this.

(Because I am an asshole but had temporarily misplaced my ass.)

Janis returned it to me with not-so-well wishes.

I should have learned the truth at seventeen. But I didn’t. I am still studying and yet I remain optimistic for the future. Someday I just may become a real gentle…man

***

Janis Ian Message to me (on Facebook):

“Lance Marcom uh… I have no idea why you took off at me like that. I said people could share because inevitably, people post on threads asking if they can share. And I’m sorry if you were “triggered ” by my offer, but if offering the option to share some thoughts written by a very dear friend of mine – who by the way is not having a great year, and certainly has more urgent things to do with his time than the way you just spent yours – caused your upset… well then, take your triggered self somewhere else. If you’re that big a “fan”, you’d know how little I think of people who use “triggered ” as an excuse, or profanity as an attempt at English.

As to telling you to “fuck off” years ago, apparently I didn’t make myself clear enough at the time, though as you admit, I didn’t say that. However, your over the top responses and insults to everyone who responded show your self-pitying true self.

Apologies mean nothing if you’ve understood nothing, Lance. Apologies mean nothing if you’ve learned nothing. And it really is time for you to take your very sensitive triggered self and work on fixing your life, instead of interfering with mine.”

***

 (After reading her proper ‘dress-down’, I retired to my “stupid corner” opened a can of worms and ate all of them–in shame)

“When payment due exceeds accounts received.”

I will always love you Janis.

You are a beautiful, brilliant, brilliant songwriter and performer.

******

“Don’t spoil it all; I can’t recall a time when you were struck without an answer.”

–Janis

“And For a dime I can talk to God.

Dial a Prayer…

Are You There?

Do You Care?

Are You There?”

–Janis

Janis Ian handed my ass to me.

I said, “Do you wish me dead?”

Lip service to books you’ve read

Articles on how to bed a bird in flight

You called it love

I called it greed

You say, “You take what you want”

I said, “You get what you need”

Go on, be a hero, be a man

Make your own destiny if you can

Go find a fence

Locate a shell

And hide yourself, go on, go to hell!

Go away from me

I need no charity

Janis Ian handed my ass to me.

I deserved this.

(Because I am an asshole but had temporarily misplaced my ass.)

Janis returned it to me with not-so-well wishes.

I should have learned the truth at seventeen. But I didn’t. I am still studying and yet I remain optimistic for the future. Someday I just may become a real gentle…man

***

Janis Ian Message to me (on Facebook):

“Lance Marcom uh… I have no idea why you took off at me like that. I said people could share because inevitably, people post on threads asking if they can share. And I’m sorry if you were “triggered ” by my offer, but if offering the option to share some thoughts written by a very dear friend of mine – who by the way is not having a great year, and certainly has more urgent things to do with his time than the way you just spent yours – caused your upset… well then, take your triggered self somewhere else. If you’re that big a “fan”, you’d know how little I think of people who use “triggered ” as an excuse, or profanity as an attempt at English.

As to telling you to “fuck off” years ago, apparently I didn’t make myself clear enough at the time, though as you admit, I didn’t say that. However, your over the top responses and insults to everyone who responded show your self-pitying true self.

Apologies mean nothing if you’ve understood nothing, Lance. Apologies mean nothing if you’ve learned nothing. And it really is time for you to take your very sensitive triggered self and work on fixing your life, instead of interfering with mine.”

***

 (After reading her proper ‘dress-down’, I retired to my “stupid corner” opened a can of worms and ate all of them–in shame)

“When payment due exceeds accounts received.”

I will always love you Janis.

You are a beautiful, brilliant, brilliant songwriter and performer.

******

“Don’t spoil it all; I can’t recall a time when you were struck without an answer.”

–Janis

“And For a dime I can talk to God.

Dial a Prayer…

Are You There?

Do You Care?

Are You There?”

–Janis