“I’m An Asshole”
Cred: Dennis Leary
“I Am MORON”
Some asshole just emailed me:
(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)
I have No Fear!
I quote her:
“We” (Really? ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)
Of course I could NOT let this go.
I had to respond.
And I did,
“Dear ‘We’,” I began.
“I have myriad words for you:
Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:
- Fuck you
- Fuck you
- There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
- There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
- Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
- You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
- A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
- And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
- Here is a Clue
- And A Nickel
- 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
- Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
- Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
- Have a Day—A Nice One.
- Love, Lance”
Just some Small-Mindless
Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …
(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)
(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)
Yeah! I am Drunk!
The line forms to The Right!
Take a Number!
Had to Drop some Francaise.
Forgot the “Joni”
Maybe Next Time….
Need Some Joni up in here!
(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)
I’ve looked at ‘Lance’
From Both Sides Now.
Neither One Was Pleasing.
(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)
I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.
But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.
Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,
I say them Once Again:
“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’
I enjoy being ‘Entertained’
By People who know how.
Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?
Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?
Or Their Personal Lives?
Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?
Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”
Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”
I can answer all of the above questions.
With Just One Word:
Harper Valley PTA
Cred: Jeannie C. Riley.
And As My Aside: I Miss ‘Big Hair’ On The Ladies
And I Despise Hypocrites
“I Hate Rude Behavior In A Man. I Won’t Tolerate it.”
Credit For Share: Porfle Popnecker
As Promised Above:
Between the lines of photographs,
I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing
I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.
I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.
And if you be new here, welcome aboard!
Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!
Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?
Last and final thought:
Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’
Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her
“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”
Bonus! Bonus! Own Us!
Credit: Steven Crowder
Helpful Heloise Hint: Scroll Ahead A Mite.
Specifically: Time Mark 22:00 And Change