(Most likely offensive to ‘People of Faith’–read at your own annoyance)
****
The Greatest Story Ever Told (If told at Woodstock)
(And seriously Y’all, y’all need to watch the video First)
But before we go there enter:
This Post Will PISS some people Off (IF I am doing my job)
However I do NOT want to Piss Anyone Off (Not my job)
Ambiguous? Yeah!
So, therefore, and furthermore, and forevermore: I put below the ‘continue reading’ button.
And don’t shoot me: I just play piano here… on Tuesdays… and for milk money… for the kids.
The video is germane. Watch it.
Cheers, Peace, Blessings, Love and Happiness & Joy (and I do mean all of that shit. Sincerely. Hey by the way, Anyone seen Joy? She was just here a minute ago…)
Cast of Characters:
Mary, Mother Mary, Virgin Mary, Mother of All Inventions.
Joseph, Joe, Just Plain Joe, Cuckold, Erstwhile Surrogate Father of Jesus.
Ya gotta love Joe. Ya just gotta.
Baby Jesus, aka Baby Hey Zeus, aka, Christmas… Pre-sents
Not even gonna comment on this one, but, be my guest.
Saint Peter
Jesus Playing with the Mothers of Immaculate Conception, circa 0014 AD
Jesus grew up; tried to make a living, Playing Gigs.
But then…
Father told him to hang a right at Albequerky: Go to Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel; see the people they will love your act. (He said)
You Really Didn’t Believe That “Rode Into Town on an Ass” bit did you?
“Would Jesus wear a Rolex on his TV show? Fuck Yeah!”
No! Seriously,”
“Check it out”
“I’m There Dude!”
Brother Failwell
Then Dad said, “Go Preach Your Ass Off!
And Jesus Said, “We’re there Dude! Just look at ‘em!”
Case Rested
Yay! Jesus!
“They’re eatin’ this shit up!
Hey! Judas! Come check this out!
Judas: Enema needing to Happen. “Nothing to see here; move along…”
Mary Mag! You too! (C’mere Baby!)”
“Sorry Dude. Busy. Get back to me, Yeah? Laters…BFF!”
“But Mary!? You carry… My Mom’s name! And now you tarry? Don’t make no sense!”
“Ah shit!
Here come those Romanians Again! Don’t these people ever give up? Gotta go!”
I love the smell of burnt Jesus in the morning
“As God as My Wit-less-ness, I shall never be hungry again! (As long as I have these radishes)”
Last Toke, I mean Last Munchies
Joe! Go Pick some Radishes. Jesus is hungry. And stop smokin’ that shit!
I did not put in The Crucifixion/Resurrection, (mainly because I don’t believe that shit and also because I could not find an example in the show) and also, mainly because at
Woodstock… drum roll please:
nobody had to die to save me.
It’s OK Jesus: I’m doin’ fine, but Thank You for askin’.
And Thank YOU to anyone who has travell’d this far with me.
Cheers,
Lance
P.S. “And don’t touch my bags if you please…mister customs man.“
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