Rerun, But Fits in Nicely With My Current Kennedy-Bashing Rants: “Why Ruby Did It”

Jack Ruby (born Jacob Leon Rubenstein; MAR 25, 1911 – JAN 3, 1967)

Why Jack? Oh Why?!

Of course if you want the answer to that

Burning Behind the Grassy Knoll

question, all you need do is listen to Lenny.

Look no further.

Lenny Has This One Covered Y’all:

Before We Proceed, here is a ‘Disclaimer’ by way of an Author’s Note:

‘Slightly’ re-worked, but I left in all theIncoherent Bullshit’

(For ‘Hysterical / Historical Purposes of Course.)

***

Or, if you ain’t ‘into’ Lenny, I suppose you could just ask Lance, as his erstwhile step-mom, Gloria, had worked for Jack during the Sixties in his

‘Carousel Club’.

Carousel Club, Dallas; owned and managed by Jack Ruby, 11/24/1963

According to Gloria, Jack was very, very proud of his Club and always referred to it as, wait for it…

“A Real First Class Joint.”

She never told me precisely what it was that she did there for Jack, by way of gainful employment. And in truth, I really didn’t wanna know.

Whatever it was that she did do for Jack, it was probably not what these girls did.

(For ‘Their Jack’)

She, Gloria… er… was not ‘qualified’

The ‘REAL Gloria

She prob’ly sold cigarettes or sumthin’.

The ‘Fake’ Gloria

(Sorry. But there never was any love lost between me and Gloria. This paralyzed fact is well-documented and may easily be discovered in the pages of my blog.)

And if you, any of you, breath, yeah ‘breath’. A single word of this to my also erstwhile step-sister…Whom I love dearly, well, that breath, will, yes will, be your last…

***

Sadly, Very Sadly, I must update this for 2021:

***

(And, as always, Most Everything I just typo’d, said, thought… well, it’s all bullshit.)

(NOT THE PARTS REGARDING MADELYN. THAT IS NOT BULLSHIT)

***

I was born’d, rear’d an’ raised in California. Northern California. I have never even SEEN Texas. (Just read about it is all.)

In books an’ shit.

And on some old pirate maps.

Just funnin’… I’m only Half-Crazy.

Just tryin’ to make up for all those “Thursday Throwbacks” I missed out cashing in on during my recent

‘Sabbatical’

Yeah, I always considered ‘Throwback Thursdays’ somewhat of a ‘gift.’ I mean, if I had nothing to write I could always dig down into those old archives, et voila! There ya go! Instant Post! Keep Feedin’ Them Fishes! Yada, Yada, Yaaaa Duh!

(In Some Truth: I just wanted to put up some Lenny Bruce–for ‘Old Time’s Sake’)

And it kind of goes along with that Brother Dave post from a day or two ago.

(See? There is some continuity to my mind)

Believe that? Really? Wanna buy a bridge? Cheap? Real Cheap!

I generally spend about ten minutes ‘writing a post’. Then three minutes waiting on ‘spell check’ to remind me that I cannot spell ‘cat.’ Then two minutes (except for the upload wait) to upload photos/videos. One minute at the ‘final’ look.

Then: Click that ‘sucker’.

That ‘Publish’ button.

And pray.

Done!

Rinse and repeat the next day. This bothers me. Why? Because, as all of us (may) feel, we can write so much better.

Alas, I am lazy. I just want to get it out there… Catch the likes; catch the comments. Fuck the quality! “They” know what I mean… Don’t they? I mean, they read me! Not too much need for exposition, ya? ‘They git it, eh?’

(Lance removes tongue-from-cheek)

Just some musings from an amusing, dazed and confusing, wanna-be writer/blogger. Take with however many grains of salt you require.

(And Comment),

If you’re of a mind to, and/or have an opinion on the ‘writing/blogging’ process.

Cheers, Lancers

***

Well, I do not seem capable of shutting the hell up…

“I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.”

Credit: Ron White (Texan!)

“I have never had an original thought; I don’t live in a vacuum.”

–Lenny Bruce

And if this ain’t poignant for today… Well then. I do not know what is, or could be ‘is.’

Take a listen: All ‘Policemans’ in NYC might even appreciate. If they can read, that is…

(Just Kidding!)

And I wanna be ‘Your Lenny

There is a vid credit, but I lost it. His lawyers will surely contact mine…Right here on TT&H

****

Moving on…

Now, this is some strange form of Serendipitous Bullshit. But I didn’t look it in the mouth; I appreciated my opportunity.

I actually shook his hand.

This Great Man’s Hand was ‘Shook’ by My Hand.

Only in America!

“Hail Cesar!”

“Oh Hail Yes!”

Specifically In San’ Dog, California.

He weren’t none of that.

He was some, most, but not all.

Yet he was a great and actually humble man.

He was merely a man with a plan.

And He was The Real Deal!

I loved him for that.

Just like I loved Woody

And His Son

And as I respect and admire and love all the Great Americans who struggle for Equality and Freedom and Justice for all.

***

This concludes our regularly un-scheduled broadcast.

***

*Lance climbs down off his Soapbox*

*Resumes primary vocation with his co-workers*

I Am Livid! (And I am LMFAO! Because No One Is Gonna Get Within A Mile of This Post! Fukking Cowards!) Still Laughing! And here I thought Y’all were made of ‘Sterner Stuff!’ Guess I was misinformed! Hahahahaha!

I just finished watching Sleepy Joe Biden Bang on and on and on about

The Fucking Kenny-Dies

Fucking Kennedys!

Caint Stop Laughing at Their Joke

Which at the time was on Us:

The U.S. of Us!

Vid Cred: Next of Ken

***

And All they “did” for

Civil Rights!

BULLSHITE!

JFK was so inept he could not even get a pay raise through Congress—For Congressmen! LMFAO!

Lest we forget:

It was LBJ

Who pushed that Civil Rights legislation down the throat of Congress!

Fuck did the Kenny-Dees ever do for us???

Promise the Fuckin’Moon?

***

Bay of Piglets?

***

Dead Girl in Chappaquiddick?

Fucking MORON!

***

Mary Jo Kopechne

Rest in Peace Beautiful Young Lady

And This SHIT SAD STORY Just Repeating Itself!

***

JF-Fucking Kay Didn’t do shit!

Except fuck Marilyn Monroe!

(And Probably Had Her Murdered)

***

His ONLY Claim to Fame!

Did Fuckin’ Sleepy Joe even mention LBJ??

No Fucking Way!

What a stupid asshole we have in OUR White Mouse House!

I am gonna loosely quote Molly Ivins here if she were still with us

On Joe Biden:

“If you put that man’s brain in a bumble bee it would fly backwards.”

***

I am so fucking pissed right now!

Can you tell?

Thank God For Lee Harvey Oswald!

(And Crew)

BANG! BANG! ASSHOLE!

WELCOME TO TEXAS!

Fun Fact: My Step-Mother Worked For Jack Ruby

I harbor NO LOVE for Kennedys

Does it show?

***

This is Good

Not Great

But Worth your time

Trust me

I’m With The Government!

Hahahahaha!

Content Creator Cred: MrBettsClass

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

Yes. A Repost. If you do nothing else, please scroll down and listen to the clip. It is hysterical (and real) Even better.

Cheers Y’all and Happy Saturday    Oops! Sunday (is it?)  

*** 

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4E_Nrm0j8k) once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy. JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace. All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug? Ladybird? (Just behind his right hand, in case y’all don’t recognize her) Of course, that is Jackie on the other side.

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldly-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

(http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/dictabelt.hom/content.asp)

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.

***

I just throw this in, ’cause it is my blog and I like it.

Peace!

A ‘Tuesday’ Throwback or, if you will: “Why Ruby Did It”

Jack Ruby (born Jacob Leon Rubenstein; MAR 25, 1911 – JAN 3, 1967)

Why Jack? Oh Why?!

Of course if you want the answer to that

Burning Behind the Grassy Knoll

question, all you need do is listen to Lenny.

Look no further.

Lenny Has This One Covered Y’all:

Before We Proceed, here is a ‘Disclaimer’ by way of an Author’s Note:

‘Slightly’ re-worked, but I left in all theIncoherent Bullshit’

(For ‘Hysterical / Historical Purposes of Course.)

***

Or, if you ain’t ‘into’ Lenny, I suppose you could just ask Lance, as his erstwhile step-mom, Gloria, had worked for Jack during the Sixties in his

‘Carousel Club’.

Carousel Club, Dallas; owned and managed by Jack Ruby, 11/24/1963

According to Gloria, Jack was very, very proud of his Club and always referred to it as, wait for it…

“A Real First Class Joint.”

She never told me precisely what it was that she did there for Jack, by way of gainful employment. And in truth, I really didn’t wanna know.

Whatever it was that she did do for Jack, it was probably not what these girls did.

(For ‘Their Jack’)

She, Gloria… er… was not ‘qualified’

The ‘REAL Gloria

She prob’ly sold cigarettes or sumthin’.

The ‘Fake’ Gloria

(Sorry. But there never was any love lost between me and Gloria. This paralyzed fact is well-documented and may easily be discovered in the pages of my blog.)

And if you, any of you, breath, yeah ‘breath’. A single word of this to my also erstwhile step-sister…Whom I love dearly, well, that breath, will, yes will, be your last…

***

Sadly, Very Sadly, I must update this for 2021:

***

(And, as always, Most Everything I just typo’d, said, thought… well, it’s all bullshit.)

(NOT THE PARTS REGARDING MADELYN. THAT IS NOT BULLSHIT)

***

I was born’d, rear’d an’ raised in California. Northern California. I have never even SEEN Texas. (Just read about it is all.)

In books an’ shit.

And on some old pirate maps.

Just funnin’… I’m only Half-Crazy.

Just tryin’ to make up for all those “Thursday Throwbacks” I missed out cashing in on during my recent

‘Sabbatical’

Yeah, I always considered ‘Throwback Thursdays’ somewhat of a ‘gift.’ I mean, if I had nothing to write I could always dig down into those old archives, et voila! There ya go! Instant Post! Keep Feedin’ Them Fishes! Yada, Yada, Yaaaa Duh!

(In Some Truth: I just wanted to put up some Lenny Bruce–for ‘Old Time’s Sake’)

And it kind of goes along with that Brother Dave post from a day or two ago.

(See? There is some continuity to my mind)

Believe that? Really? Wanna buy a bridge? Cheap? Real Cheap!

I generally spend about ten minutes ‘writing a post’. Then three minutes waiting on ‘spell check’ to remind me that I cannot spell ‘cat.’ Then two minutes (except for the upload wait) to upload photos/videos. One minute at the ‘final’ look.

Then: Click that ‘sucker’.

That ‘Publish’ button.

And pray.

Done!

Rinse and repeat the next day. This bothers me. Why? Because, as all of us (may) feel, we can write so much better.

Alas, I am lazy. I just want to get it out there… Catch the likes; catch the comments. Fuck the quality! “They” know what I mean… Don’t they? I mean, they read me! Not too much need for exposition, ya? ‘They git it, eh?’

(Lance removes tongue-from-cheek)

Just some musings from an amusing, dazed and confusing, wanna-be writer/blogger. Take with however many grains of salt you require.

(And Comment),

If you’re of a mind to, and/or have an opinion on the ‘writing/blogging’ process.

Cheers, Lancers

***

Well, I do not seem capable of shutting the hell up…

“I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.”

“I have never had an original thought; I don’t live in a vacuum.”

–Lenny Bruce

And if this ain’t poignant for today… Well then. I do not know what is, or could be ‘is.’

Take a listen: All ‘Policemans’ in NYC might even appreciate. If they can read, that is…

(Just Kidding!)

And I wanna be ‘Your Lenny

There is a vid credit, but I lost it. His lawyers will surely contact mine…Right here on TT&H

****

Moving on…

Now, this is some strange form of Serendipitous Bullshit. But I didn’t look it in the mouth; I appreciated my opportunity.

I actually shook his hand.

This Great Man’s Hand was ‘Shook’ by My Hand.

Only in America!

“Hail Cesar!”

“Oh Hail Yes!”

Specifically In San’ Dog, California.

He weren’t none of that.

He was some, most, but not all.

Yet he was a great and actually humble man.

He was merely a man with a plan.

And He was The Real Deal!

I loved him for that.

Just like I loved Woody

And His Son

And as I respect and admire and love all the Great Americans who struggle for Equality and Freedom and Justice for all.

***

This concludes our regularly un-scheduled broadcast.

***

*Lance climbs down off his Soapbox*

*Resumes primary vocation with his co-workers*

A Tuesday Throwback… or, if you will: “Why Ruby Did It?”*

*Of course if you want the answer to that burning behind the Grassy Knoll Question, you will have to listen to Lenny. (Listen below after you wade through some serious Lance Horseshit)

Or, I suppose you could just ask Lance, as his erstwhile step-mom worked for Jack (Ruby)

And if you, any of you, breath, yeah breath. A word to my also erstwhile step-sister… well, that breath, will be your last…

Sad Update: Madelyn

(And, as always, Everything I just typo’d, said, thought… well, it’s bullshit. I was born, rear’d an’ raised in California. Northern California. I have never even seen Texas. Just read about it all.)

In books.

And some old  pirate maps.

Galveston maps

*****

Just funnin’… I am only Half-Crazy.

Just to make up for all those “Thursday Throwbacks” I missed cashing in on during my recent ‘sabbatical’.

Yeah, I always considered ‘Throwback Thursdays’ something of a ‘gift.’ I mean, if I had nothing to write I could always dig down into those old archives, et voila! There ya go!

(In Some Truth: I just wanted to put up some Lenny Bruce–for Old Time’s Sake.)

And it kind of goes along with that Brother Dave Post from a day or two ago. (See? There is some continuity to my mind)

Believe that? Really? Wanna buy a bridge? Cheap?

************

I generally spend about ten minutes ‘writing a post’. Then three minutes waiting on ‘spell check’ to remind me that I cannot spell ‘cat.’ Then two minutes (except for the upload wait) to upload photos/videos. One minute at the ‘final’ look. Then: Click that ‘publish’ button.

Done.

Rinse and repeat the next day. This bothers me. Why? Because, as all of us (may) feel, we can write so much better.

Alas, I am lazy. I just want to get it out there… Catch the likes; catch the comments. Fuck the quality! “They” know what I mean… Don’t they? I mean, they read me! Not too much need for exposition, ya? ‘They git it, eh?’

Just some musings from an amusing wanna-be writer/blogger. Take with some grain of salt. (And Comment), if you are of a mind to, and have an opinion on the ‘writing/blogging’ process.

Cheers, Lancers

“I have never had an original thought; I don’t live in a vacuum.”

–Lenny Bruce

And if this ain’t poignant for today… Well then. I do not know what is, or could be ‘is.’

Take a listen: All Policemans in NYC might even appreciate. (If they can read, that is)

And I wanna be Your Lenny…

Right here on TT&H

There is a vid credit, but I lost it. His lawyers will surely contact mine…

**************

Moving on…

Now, this is some strange form of bullshit.

I actually shook  his hand.

download

In San’ Dog, California.

He weren’t  none of that.

He was some, but not all.

But he was a great man.

He was just a man with a plan.

I loved him for that.

Just like I love(d) Woody

And his son….

And I respect.

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

Yes. A Repost. If you do nothing else, please scroll down and listen to the clip. It is hysterical (and real) Even better.

Cheers Y’all and Happy Saturday    Oops! Sunday (is it?)  

*** 

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4E_Nrm0j8k) once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy. JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace. All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug? Ladybird? (Just behind his right hand, in case y’all don’t recognize her) Of course, that is Jackie on the other side.

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldly-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

(http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/dictabelt.hom/content.asp)

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.

***

I just throw this in, ’cause it is my blog and I like it.

Peace!