I Want Another Dog (This man don’t need no maid. See Neil below…) I ‘need’ a doggy.

This was my last dog:

‘Tejas’

We ‘lived’ together in Missouri with some woman.

Her name escapes me.

I think we were married.

But I forget her name.

I am lonely and the maids all tell me to fuck the fuck off when I try to invite them in for coffee. Just fucking coffee. That’s all. They got no time. Cannot be bothered.

I need some creature to love me

Unconditionally.

(If I go to the animal shelter and all the doggies tell me to fuck off–I may have some personal problems that need sorting out, but we ain’t there yet. Thank God)

Two legs or four. No more. I am done with spiders and snakes. I want something cuddly to love me. No more spiders or ants. Ever try to cuddle up to an ant or a spider? Trust me: it never works out as you had planned...

I cannot afford to be particular at this point, but I think a dog would do the trick.

Cats good too, but they are not very affectionate.

However, they are very low maintenance.

Kinda like a self-cleaning oven.

But I want a fuckin’ ‘Toto Too’

Toto! I love you!

(Dorothy I Love you too—But this ain’t about you)

More to come.

Maybe

Maybe not.

Never find one to replace the ones below….

But a reasonable facsimile…. I’ll settle for second or third best.

That would be groovy.

I disagree Neil!

I want a FUCKIN’ DOG!!

Not a Maid

(A maid’s half-life in my house would be about 20 minutes)

“I fell in love with the actress; she was playing a part I could understand.”

No Shit Neil?!

Been There.

Live There.

Got Lots of T-Shirts

Neil,

I love you Bro, but some of your lyrics and songs just piss me the fuck off. I suppose some things just don’t ‘age’ well. Not your fault. You used to be cool. Now, yer not. Such is life.

I can certainly relate.

I used to be cool too.

Now, I ain’t.

Wanna join my club?

No?

Your loss, not mine.

P.S. I am done with turtles too!

Bonus Bonus Onus, Own Us Bonus!

See? See Link Below. Read it. Weep.

I love all kinds of critters.

But I WANT A FUCKKNG DOG

(And I will resist the urge to speak of any of my ex-wives—save that for later)

Rhonda: Chapter Le Premier

This ain’t Rhonda, but a pretty (really pretty) reasonable facsimile.

(Just like Rhonda)

Once Janet and I had escaped (In the middle of the night) from Nacogdoches, after having sold out and sold our “Aquarium World” Crud-Eater Tropical Fish Emporium to a young couple for not nearly what it was worth, we headed to Plano.

(Not sure why Plano)

Got there. Early in the A.M.
Just in time to find an apartment.

Found one, but we were near to broke.

West Plano—where all the yuppies and rich folk lived.

We managed to move in though.

No FURNITURE.

(We were used to that)

After about a month, we got kicked out.

Because we were deemed to be “White Trash.”

Fuck ‘em.

We found a cheaper apartment in East Plano that was FURNISHED.

Janet announced to me one day that she wanted to be a ‘housewife’ for one year.

Considering what I had put her through and what a ‘trooper’ she had always been, I agreed.

So I got a job which paid shit, but just enough to make her dream come true.

We would manage.

The job was a ‘factory’ job for a Mom and Pop company:

SPAN INSTRUMENTS

They made gauges. Pressure gauges. Mostly for fire trucks.

I was hired as a ‘Calibration Technician.’

For the gauges.

(Yeah, with all of my fucking ‘math skills.’)

But I never missed work and so they kept upping my pay.

So it was easy for me to keep my promise to my wife.

Then entered Rhonda Jo:

Throwing a spanner in the works of my marriage.

To be continued…

Teaser:

I Want Another Dog (This man don’t need no maid) I ‘need’ a doggy. See Neil below…

This was my last dog: ‘Tejas’ We ‘lived’ together in Missouri with some woman. Her name escapes me. I think we were married. But I forgot her name.

I am lonely and the maids all tell me to fuck the fuck off when I try to invite them in for coffee. Just fucking coffee. That’s all. They got no time. Cannot be bothered.

I need some creature to love me

Unconditionally.

(If I go to the animal shelter and all the doggies tell me to fuck off–I may have some personal problems that need sorting out, but we ain’t there yet. Thank God)

Two legs or four. No more. I am done with spiders and snakes. I want something cuddly to love me. No more spiders or ants. Ever try to cuddle up to an ant or a spider? Trust me: it never works out as you had planned...

I cannot afford to be particular at this point, but I think a dog would do the trick.

Cats good too, but they are not very affectionate.

However, they are very low maintenance.

Kinda like a self-cleaning oven.

But I want a fuckin’ ‘Toto Too’

Toto! I love you!

(Dorothy I Love you too—But this ain’t about you)

More to come.

Maybe

Maybe not.

Never find one to replace the ones below….

But a reasonable facsimile…. I’ll settle for second or third best.

That would be groovy.

I disagree Neil!

I want a FUCKIN’ DOG!!

Not a Maid

(A maid’s half-life in my house would be about 20 minutes)

“I fell in love with the actress; she was playing a part I could understand.”

No Shit Neil?!

Been There.

Live There.

Got Lots of T-Shirts

Neil,

I love you Bro, but some of your lyrics and songs just piss me the fuck off. I suppose some things just don’t ‘age’ well. Not your fault. You used to be cool. Now, yer not. Such is life.

I can certainly relate.

I used to be cool too.

Now, I ain’t.

Wanna join my club?

No?

Your loss, not mine.

P.S. I am done with turtles too!

Bonus Bonus Onus, Own Us Bonus!

See? See Link Below. Read it. Weep.

I love all kinds of critters.

But I WANT A FUCKKNG DOG

(And I will resist the urge to speak of any of my ex-wives—save that for later)