“I Bought a Box of Tampons Today” or “How to Release Your ‘Inner-Macho’ in One Simple Step” (Pay Close Attention Boys; This One May Save Your Next Planned Fishin’ Trip)

And As Y’all Know, I Caint Make This Shit Up–

I Don’t Write Fiction.

I Gots No ‘Talent’ Fer It.

Truly A Renaissance Man

Specifically, I purchased ‘Tampax Pearl’… “In the Blue & Green Box.”

Because THAT Was What SHE Required.

“Good luck. See ya when you get back. Be safe.”

Memphis, circa 2013

This was to be my quest, my only mission quest: to find those and only those specific tampons:

My Search for the…

Holy Grail of Feminine Hygiene Products!

(In the blue and green box? Are you fucking kidding me? I discovered Myriad tampons in blue & green boxes…)

In fact, an entire isle was dedicated to nothing but Tampons of various brands, all shapes and sizes and quantities and qualities.

Damn Near ALL of which were in blue and green boxes!

Welcome to The Tampon Jungle

Enjoy Your Stay

Fortunately, before embarking upon my Quest, I’d had the presence of mind, using my semi-smart phone, to capture an image of the now empty and defunct ‘pearls’ box.

Yep, I had fetched along a visual aid to guide me in my pursuit of the ‘keeping the little woman happy’ self-preservation project.

I’m real smart in this way.

I attribute this trait to my erstwhile Navy SEAL training:

***

Fun and Useful Fact Boys:

If your woman is really specific and passionate and matter-of-fact about something, it behooves you to set down your beer and pay close attention.

Don’t be bringin’ home no ‘Magic Beans’ Jack.

You’ll regret that.

***

Mission Accomplished. No apparent casualties.

Now Men, I know what some of you are thinking…

Won’t elaborate, as this is a ‘Family Friendly’ Blog Site.

But I will go even further on the box of The Pearl Tampons.

(‘In The Green Box’—there must be some metaphor to discover there.)

That Box O’Pearls was the only item in my shopping cart, naked those pearls were, all alone.

Ridin’ Solo in a big ol’ shoppin’ cart, just a-sittin’ there, revvin’ their engines..

All by their lonesome.

“I’m so lonesome I could cry”

Did I try to conceal  ‘em? Cover ‘em up with some dead red animal flesh, some pound or four of ground beef?

No.

Some Guns & Ammo mags?

No.

Three cases of beer?

No.

A chain saw from the lawn and garden department?

No.

Did I try to repeat the scene from “Summer of Forty Two”–No! I Just Manned Up!

with the kid tryin’ to buy condoms? Askin’ for an ice cream cone, sprinkles, and almost every other small thing behind the counter, then…

”Oh, by the way, throw in some rubbers while you’re at it.”

No.

Naw.

Here is the reason:

I am Secure in My Masculinity.

I can purchase tampons for my woman while under the blinding glare of Super Market Lights from which nothing ever goes unnoticed.

No sweat.

No shame.

No fear.

No potential peril to my Manhood.

(I also listen to Joni Mitchell and Janis Ian and I cry at movies, some movies anyway. ‘RoboCop’ comes immediately to mind).

Point is, Guys Git Over It!

Go out and buy a box of tampons for your Lady.

And only a box of tampons.

(And only for your woman—if you don’t have a woman at this moment—just file this handy slice of advice away for future reference)

For the Rest of Y’all, I’ll leave you with this:

The Experience Shall Set You Free.

While simultaneously releasing your ‘Inner-Machismo-Mobility’

Trust me:

No one will dare fuck with a man packin’ tampons.

Credit: MDA Telethon

***

All in all, I’d pronounce this a favorable ‘Mission Outcome.’ No Casualties. Minimal Stress. Minimal Potential for PTSD.

Homeward Bound And Happy to Be Bearing The Spoils of War

Happy? Yes ‘Happy’

After all, with just one misstep, things could’ve gone horribly wrong in the Other Direction:

***

Some ‘Added Value’ just for Levity:

Street Cred for Vid: Shut Up! Cartoons

“Escape From Memphis–Chapter One” A Warmed-Over Re-Run

(I am bleeding out of every orifice in my body–This probably portends some un-happy times ahead)

MUST MUST MUST MUST!

This Song is the ENTIRE Point of the POST!

(And Sorry if I Buried The Lead)

“The Lamp is Broken on the Mantle”

Ed. Note to All You Nattering Nabobs of Nay-Sayers down there in the ‘Commentary Section’:
I say this:
‘This is “My Side” of the Story!’
Read Between the Lines if You Must.

(Or feel compelled.)

*****

Lance, No Longer Down an’ Out In

Memphis, Tennessee:

Yeah Lyle, I been to Memphis too.

Street Vid Cred: kndfbl

Joni talking about Memphis

Joni on Beale Street

“Bourbon Laughter & Shoppin’ Malls…”

Joni is So Very Beautiful

And So Very PERFECT

IN EVERY WAY

******

“Walkin’ in Memphis”

Credit: Marc Cohn

*****

And SCREW YOU WORDPRESS For Not Allowing Me to Delete this below BROKEN Up-Load!!!

Stuck on STUPID.

******

She just sat there on the front porch, smoking Camel Blues, sipping diet Dr. Pepper, and watching as I scurried back and forth, worker ant-like, schlepping boxes and boxes and boxes and sundry other shit to my Ford.
Never said a word.
Never shed a tear.
I was leaving her!
What the fuck?
No tears?
No desperation?
No tears?
No tears?
No tears?
No nada?
English!
English!
English!
(You live with Meskins, expect beans on the menu, ever’ once in a while.)
English!

Stiff upper lip and all that jazz…
After I had packed the Ford to the point of tightness unimagined (you could have poured a bottle of Jim Beam into it and not one drop would escape), I walked to the front porch and announced,

“Well, I guess that’s it then.”
“You’re leaving now?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan,” I said.
She stood up, looked me in the eye. I threw my arms around her and hugged her deep.
Now we were both crying.
I managed to blurt out something profound…

“I’m so sorry Helen.”
“Take good care of you,” she said, blinking back the tears.
I slow-walked to the Ford, looking back through MY tears only once. Got in, cranked her up and drove away.
The part where the cowboy rides away…
Took me a block an’ a half to stop crying.
Then I was so over it.

And her.

Four blocks later I realized I could not see out of my side-view rear-view mirror. My dismantled computer chair in the passenger seat was blocking my vision. This would never do. I pulled into a vacant parking lot and jettisoned said computer chair.
Just left it there in the dust.

With my life.
Merry Early Fucking Christmas to someone.
Some homeless one in Memphis.
And drove on, westward.

Nine minutes later at sixty-five miles per hour, I was crossing the Big Muddy and entering Arkansas.

I had achieved escape velocity.
I turned on the radio.
Loud and proud.
CDB was screaming something about Trudy and telephones.
And calling her.

And jail.
I cranked it up and sang along.
Very happy and oh so fucking proud of me.
My new life had just begun.
Just another tequila sunrise.
As I drove west with the sun over my shoulder.
So many thoughts were flying around in my head, gnat like… buzzing.

I was almost giddy.
I was staring down six hours of road trip.

No big deal, but it had been almost ten years since I had taken to the road or air or sea, and I was just a mite apprehensive.
“You can do this Lance,” I whispered to me over the radio, now playing Van Morrison.
“Hear That Robin Sing.’
Hours and hours and hours into Arkansas (when did Arkansas get so fucking BIG?)

I found a trucker’s rest stop and so I stopped.
And rested.
And pee’d.
Had to.
Walked about
Had to.
Stretched my legs.
Had to.

“Where is Texas?” Halfway through Arkansas…. And halfway from what I had called ‘home’ for ten years.
“What am I doing?”
“Going West, Young Man, Goin’ West.”
“Oh yeah, I almost had forgotten.”

By and by I hit the “border”
(On the border)

Wanted to stop and take a selfie in front of the sign what read, “Welcome To Texas, Drive Friendly.” But it was Interstate and not safe to do so, so I just kept on driving.
And singing at me!

“Texas! Oh Texas!”
“You are finally home, Cowboy!”
Now what?
Keep driving, I suppose.
I had pre-arranged a ‘garage’ to store my shit.

A ‘rent-a-space’ shed in Commerce.
Got a phone call from the proprietor….

“Lance, you still coming?”

“Yeah, fast as I can, but I will not arrive in time for your departure. Can you HBO? Help a brother out? I will arrive Commerce about 1800 hours…. Leave the key in the lock box or something; I want to off-load my shit before I go to the hotel.”
“Sure, got a CC number for me?”
“Yeah, no worries.”
That sorted, I drove on.
Presently I arrived Sulphur Springs.
And promptly got lost.
Could not find the road to Commerce.

Well, shit!

It had been some years and beers and tears since I had had to make this trek.

Finally found the proper road and guess what?
It was ‘under construction’ as they do.
Took me some few little minutes to navigate through that, but…. Finally… on the road again.

Commerce in my sights now.
Sped into town, saw Whitley Hall, High Rise and shouted out loud: HOME!

“Thank fucking God!’
(And this was a push for me, for as you know, I am an atheist)
Found the ‘rent-a-shed’ and off-loaded my shit.
Went to the Adult Beverage Store.
Then found the Magnuson, formally known as “The Holiday Inn Express,” checked in, and got very, very, very drunk.

Chapter Two Coming…
Whew!
Chapter One is Done!
Writing is hard!
As is my wont, I drop in music.
Music defines me, and yes, my life has a soundtrack.
I suppose this don’t make me nothing special.
Just yet one more schmuck.
Trying to get by.
And Waiting for Godot
(Vain reference from my college / university daze.)

Beautiful Loser
Read it on the wall.
Blue moon with heartache.
Nick of time
“Scared you’ll run outta time.”
Love has no pride
This old cowboy—MTB

So many emotions were colliding around in my head, not unlike that stupid arcade game: asteroids….

Escape From Memphis–Chapter Two

Part threee may be discovered here:

New Life.  Video Credit: Cool Coyote  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9mNquw1Fc7beFfQ8OpnjRQ

Blinking back the tears.

I Love You! Patty Loveless!

My love is never less

Re-Run Alert! Just A Little ‘Friendly Reminder’ (Fuuck U WP) To Anyone Who Ever Has The Foolish Desire To Fuc* With Me: “Home, Home On The Range: The ‘Gun Range’ That Is”

Author’s Note:

Any Little Fu*k-Ups Are Not mine to Own

They Belong Squarely in the Lapse of WordPress.

Which is Where They Solely Reside.

I Love Ya WP. (Assholes)

***

Home on the Range (Bush version)

by ‘The Freedom Toast

*****

CAUTION:

I Do A Little Bit,

NO.

I Do A Lot Of Shameless Braggin’

In This Post:

Read At Your Own Annoyance

Absolutely NO Refunds

*****

As most of Y’all Regular and some of Y’all ‘Irregular’ readers know,

I am a Proud U.S. Navy Veteran.

Only served five years ‘active’ duty, but I crammed about fifteen years worth of Navy Experiences into those Five Years.

***

  • Awarded during ‘Boot Camp’ THE NAVY CLUB OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY EXCELLENCE AWARD: “Presented to the graduating recruit who best exemplifies the qualities of enthusiasm, devotion to duty, military appearance and behavior, self-discipline and teamwork.” Follow Orange Link if you’d like to read more about THAT. Hahahaha
  • Honor Grad From Gunner’s Mate ‘A’ School at Great Lakes Naval Training Command
  • Two Runs at BUD/s (SEAL Training), Coronado, CA. And, No. I didn’t make it, but at least I showed up. Which is much more than I can say for 99.9 percent of my fellow sailors.
  • Six Month ‘’Round-The-World” Deployment Onboard The USS Callaghan DDG 994 in’87
  • Six Month ‘WESTPac Deployment Onboard The USS Frederick LST 1184 in ‘89
  • Certified Range Master & Small Arms Expert
  • Ships Armorer & Small Arms Instructor for Entire Ship’s Crew During both Deployments (Yes, save only one Officer, I had Complete Control Over ALL The Ship’s Small Arms)  Pistols up to the .50 Cals, and everything in between to include even hand grenades. And of course All of the Ammunition to go with.
  • Needless to say, Nobody fucked with me, especially since I had ‘Rocked-Out’ of SEAL Training immediately prior to Both Deployments and was usually in a foul mood, not really relishing hanging out with ‘Black-Shoe ‘Haze-Gray & Underway’ Sailors—At least not at first. Eventually I made a small—very small—Circle of Loyal Friends.
  • Managed to Fall-in-Love at every Port I visited: “A Woman in Every Port” as the Saying goes, or more accurately in my hard-case, “Any Port in a Storm.”

To Be Mercifully Brief: Do NOT Fuck With Me Bare Foot & Pregnab\

Pregnant AZs it should be

You WILL ‘Experience’ A BAD Day

A VERY, VERY Bad Day

Street Cred: Daniel Powter

***

Okay, Now that we have my Résumé all sorted, I will get to the ‘Point’ of this Exercise.

Finding myself between jobs in Memphis and under no small amount of pressure to find one from my British, actually ‘English’, “There is A DIFFERENCE” Girlfriend informed me. “Get another Job, You Tool!”

‘Tool’ is NOT a Term of Endearment.

If You have ever had an English GF, or BF I suppose, You’d Know This.

As I was saying, I needed a job. But what for me to do in Memphis? I hated Memphis. I had already worked a short stint for UPS. Short stint for FedEx. Longer stint for NIKE—Hated them all.

So one day, Helen asked me,

“What ARE you Qualified to DO Lance?”

“I can shoot straight,” I said.

“Why not then become a Security Guard?”

I thought about it for a moment, and then said, “You know, You’re right. That is at least something I might even enjoy and I’ll get to pack a gun.”

I ended up working for two different Security Companies, each Gig lasting about a year.

The first was G4S, A HUGE International Security Firm

With All The Corporate Bullshit That Comes With THAT.

I was assigned to Crosstown Concourse:

But they stuck me into a little ‘Secure Room’ in charge of monitoring all the CC Cameras, about 235 of ‘em, and I did not get to carry a gun. The Boredom Bored Me To Tears and Lots of After-Hours Beers.

“No Need for You To Pack A Gun,” They said.

*****

Quit G4S and went to work for a ‘Mom & Pop’

Security Shoppe

Called

‘Phelps Security.’

Memphis’ Old Money

Apparently They Had Been Around Since Moses Was A Pup

Worked the Graveyard Shift at Hotel Indigo, Downtown Memphis.

Eventually quit that Gig too and also quit town, headed for Texas.

See This Story If You Like:

https://texantales.com/2022/09/30/here-is-another-one-that-never-gets-no-play-on-the-radio-why-not-yall-escape-from-memphis-chapter-one/

****

Okay, backing up now to the meat-of-the-matter:

It was required that I prove that I could, indeed, fire a handgun.

I was sent to ‘Bullseye’ to ‘Qualify’

—A proprietorship which specialized in training and qualifying men and women to be armed security guards.

After a week of ‘Classroom Horse-Shit’ came time to ‘Officially Qualify’ on the pistol range.

But I actually did learn one useful thing in that class:

The Instructor, a grizzled old retired military vet and an ex-cop, told us:

“If you ever shoot someone, shout as loud as you can, THREE times,”

“I thought the Mother-Fu*ker was gonna Kill ME!”

****

I had told no one of my Navy ‘Qualifications.’ In fact I rarely spoke at all.

The day we were taken to the range was very cold and even though the Range was indoors, it was still damn cold, wreaking havoc with the arthritis I had been developing over the past year or so.

Ya know, It SUCKS getting old.

ROLLING STONES MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER

“What A Drag It Is Getting Old”

Cred For Vid Share: ALOPS

****

The Man at the counter asked me what kind of gun did I want.

I said, “A loaded one.”

He was NOT Amused.

He handed me A Glock Nine, some hearing protection, some eye protection, then said,

“You’ll be issued ammo when you get to the range,”

He pointed at a door.

“Right through there Son. NEXT!”

“SON? SON?!”

Hell! I was Pushin’ Sixty.

Kinda pissed me off, but I let it go.

I went through the door and joined my other ‘Fellow Classmates’

“Bit of a motley crew, but typical for Memphis,” I mused as we waited for the Range Master to Show.

Presently he arrived with his assistant who was pushing a Kroger’s Shopping cart containing lots of boxes. I assumed and rightly so this was our ammo.

Range Master gathered us around (I think there were ten of us) and proceeded to give us his ‘Safety Briefing’

The main thing I took away from his ‘Briefing’–which greatly amused me, was when he said,

“Keep your weapon pointed down range at-all-times. If you turn around, even accidentally, not thinking, and point it even inadvertently, at me or anybody else, I will shoot you.”

***

That sorted, we took our individual places in our assigned ‘Shooting Booths.’

He and his assistant handed out the ammo.

We were issued fifty rounds each.

Then we were instructed to load our magazines—‘clips’—I prefer calling them ‘Clips’. I am ‘old-school’ that way. ‘Magazines’ go into rifles, ‘Clips’ go into pistols.

I was having a lot of difficulty loading mine because of the aforementioned cold and my arthritis.

Looks Easy, Don’t it? Wasn’t for me that day.

This did not go un-noticed by the Range Master. He walked over and assisted loading my clips—ten rounds each—we had two clips.

As he was walking away I could feel his eyes on me, probably thinking, “This guy is worthless. Probably never even seen a gun in his life.”

The paper targets were already in place. First rounds: ten, were to be shot at about ten yards or so and then targets progressively moved back to about fifty yards.

We were instructed on his command to fire one round. Just to make sure we all knew which way to point the pistol and to also make sure we understood where the trigger was to be found.

We all got into our stances and Range Master gave his command, Mil Style,

“Firing one round! Ready Right! Ready Left! All Ready on the Firing Line! Fire!”

He said these commands exactly as I had been taught when I was going through MY Range Master Training and I wondered if this guy was a Vet like me.

Well I squeezed off my round.

Range Master went to all the students to make certain all had gone well.

Satisfied, he stepped Back and announced we would now fire off the remaining nine rounds before he moved our targets further back.

After he repeated his fire command and we had expended our rounds he made his rounds again. Seeing my target he did a ‘Double-Take’ and looked at me. My rounds had all hit the ‘Bullseye.” As he was staring at me I just kinda shrugged and tried not to laugh.

The targets were moved further and further back. This presented no real problems for me even though my eyesight ain’t quite what it used to be.

It did present ‘problems’ for several of the others. I could see their targets as well as mine. Obviously many of them DID NOT have fifty holes—More like thirty or so by my estimation.

Our targets were pulled in to be graded,

I think the requirement was seventy-five percent hits.

Anywhere on the HUGE Silhouette.

I think all managed that, but some just barely.

After all targets had been inspected and signed and we were heading up to the front desk to finish up the paperwork more than a few of my ‘Fellow Rangers’ came over to me,

“Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”

“CUP SONG COMPILATION”

“Of Course!”

Street Cred For Vid: Binaziz animation

*****

They Continued:

“Wow! Great shooting!”

“Good Job!”

“Awesome shooting!”

Yada, Yada, Yada & YADA!

Hell! I had NO Time nor desire for ‘small talk’. I just wanted to wrap things up and head home to the Little English Misses.

‘Typical’ Results From My ‘Class’

*****

Here Is My Completed Target

“I Think I Got Him!”

Nope.

Pretty Damn Sure I Got Him

And all of His Buddies

Thus Making Me ‘Bona-Fide’

****

The Moral of This Story:

I Hit What I Shoot At.

With Extreme Prejudice.

In Other Words,

“If I am ‘Armed’, Do NOT Mess With Me.”

****

Bonus Added Value:

Toby Keith – Bullets In The Gun

*****

Paula Cole – “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” 

“I’m Right Here Darlin’

Open Yer eyes”

****

Great Songs for a Rainy Day. I Miss My Girl. She Escaped Texas for Savanna. I’d Call That a Down-Grade. Just My Humble Opine. “Be Thee Prepared To Bleed”

“Send me Someone Who’s Strong and Some-What Sincere”

“If U Want Me, I’ll Be In The Bar”

Please Listen to Joni

This is IMPORTANT To ME

(For my Mental Self-Help)

f

I tried to tell her, “Baby, this ain’t ‘Gone with the Wind’–Just Blowin’ in the Breeze’–“Relax. Think it over for a second!”

“Here in Savannah  Memphis it’s pourin’ rain
“Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane.

“Will you still love me when I get back to town?”

vid credit: Christian T. Davies

Not really melancholy, but if I were, this song just might push me further that way, in that direction.

Peace,

-Lance

Real sorry, but I am now officially delirious with tooth pain. This tooth is some kind of bitch, let me tell ya.

Obviously sleep is not an option.

(The pain is just too overwhelming)

So… I just sit here and post stupid shit to take my mind away.

“Calgone! Take me Away!’

“I am as constant as a Northern Star.”

Vid credit: novaultrano1

“Constantly in the darkness? Where’s that at? If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.”

I guess it’s just a Joni kind of day…

“Laughin’ an’ cryin’. You know it’s the same release.

“I told you when I met you, I was crazy.”

Vid credit: Christian T. Davies

OK, last one and then I’m done (I really need to find something else to do with my hands)

“Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing.”

Video credit: JoniJourney

“Fell in hate and called it love”

One of her BEST Below

A beautiful tribute to an American Icon: Amelia Mary Earhart

(And yes. I know there is A LOT more going on in this song. I am not stupid.)

“Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms”

–Joni

One of my favorite Amelia quotes:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life and the procedure. The process is its own reward.”

Video Credit: sonicboy19

Bonus on “Hissing of Summer Lawns”
A great and respectful analysis

Vid Cred: For Most of the above: JoniJourney

(I am too lazy to Break it Down)

*****

Don’t let this Bring You Down. It is a Beautiful Song, Performed by a Beautifully Sensitive, Thoughtful Lady.

Street Cred for Vid: Leeshan

Just Joan, Great Songs for a Rainy Day. Guess Whut? It Ain’t Rainin’ Today. Or Yesterday. Or The Day Before. Guess I’ll Just Have to Pretend.

“Here in Savannah  Memphis it’s pourin’ rain
“Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane.

“Will you still love me when I get back to town?”

vid credit: Christian T. Davies

Not really melancholy, but if I were, this song just might push me further that way, in that direction.

Peace,

-Lance

Real sorry, but I am now officially delirious with tooth pain. This tooth is some kind of bitch, let me tell ya.

Obviously sleep is not an option.

(The pain is just too overwhelming)

So… I just sit here and post stupid shit to take my mind away.

“Calgone! Take me Away!’

“I am as constant as a Northern Star.”

Vid credit: novaultrano1

“Constantly in the darkness? Where’s that at? If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.”

I guess it’s just a Joni kind of day…

“Laughin’ an’ cryin’. You know it’s the same release.

“I told you when I met you, I was crazy.”

Vid credit: Christian T. Davies

OK, last one and then I’m done (I really need to find something else to do with my hands)

“Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing.”

Video credit: JoniJourney

“Fell in hate and called it love”

One of her BEST Below

A beautiful tribute to an American Icon: Amelia Mary Earhart

(And yes. I know there is A LOT more going on in this song. I am not stupid.)

“Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms”

–Joni

One of my favorite Amelia quotes:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life and the procedure. The process is its own reward.”

Video Credit: sonicboy19

Bonus on “Hissing of Summer Lawns”
A great and respectful analysis

Vid Cred: For Most of the above: JoniJourney

(I am too lazy to Break it Down)

*****

Don’t let this Bring You Down. It is a Beautiful Song, Performed by a Beautifully Sensitive, Thoughtful Lady.

Street Cred for Vid: Leeshan

Great Songs for a Rainy Day–I am Praying for Rain–For Texas, But I Don’t Think God is Listening… Asleep At The Wheel He Must Be.

George!

“Here in Savannah  Memphis it’s pourin’ rain
“Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane.

“Will you still love me when I get back to town?”

vid credit: Christian T. Davies

Not really melancholy, but if I were, this song just might push me further that way, in that direction.

Peace,

-Lance

Real sorry, but I am now officially delirious with tooth pain. This tooth is some kind of bitch, let me tell ya.

Obviously sleep is not an option.

(The pain is just too overwhelming)

So… I just sit here and post stupid shit to take my mind away.

“Calgone! Take me Away!’

“I am as constant as a Northern Star.”

Vid credit: novaultrano1

“Constantly in the darkness? Where’s that at? If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.”

I guess it’s just a Joni kind of day…

“Laughin’ an’ cryin’. You know it’s the same release.

“I told you when I met you, I was crazy.”

Vid credit: Christian T. Davies

OK, last one and then I’m done (I really need to find something else to do with my hands)

“Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing.”

Video credit: JoniJourney

“Fell in hate and called it love”

One of her BEST Below

A beautiful tribute to an American Icon: Amelia Mary Earhart

(And yes. I know there is A LOT more going on in this song. I am not stupid.)

“Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms”

–Joni

One of my favorite Amelia quotes:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life and the procedure. The process is its own reward.”

Video Credit: sonicboy19

Bonus on “Hissing of Summer Lawns”
A great and respectful analysis

Vid Cred: For Most of the above: JoniJourney

(I am too lazy to Break it Down)

*****

Don’t let this Bring You Down. It is a Beautiful Song, Performed by a Beautifully Sensitive, Thoughtful Lady.

Street Cred for Vid: Leeshan