Ever Have One-of-Those-Days?

I am  speaking to those writers out there.

Hmmmmm

That is not a propitious beginning for this post.

Well, allow me to retort:

One of those days when you have so much shit colliding in your head, atom-like, trying to reach escape velocity?

This is my day.

I have (check ’em) all these wanna-be posts colliding:

1. He is an accident going somewhere to happen (just about a recent trip to Kroger’s)

2. Puddles in my beer (don’t ask)

3. Jim Morrison (Seriously do not ask)

4. Walk of Shame (again… don’t go there)

5. The kind and good and great and moral folks I live about here in East Memph (ask about this one) I love it.

 

Your votes will be tallied.

Now get on with it.

(sorry I could not make it easy; caint do the ‘poll thang’ you will just be forced to ‘comment’.)

But Hey! how hard is that?

***

Emmylou! I love you!

For A Moment

I love red

I love RED

Better RED than ded!

Y’all know I have a Fatal Character Flaw:
“Weakness For Redheads.”

Well,

“Better Read Than Dead.”

(See whut I did there?)

I am still laughing at my own jokes!

First sign of insanity.

He said.

Oh! Cinnamon Girl!

Vid Cred: Redhead Express


Vid Cred: Europa Scythia

*Sequel to ‘Lady Projection’*

*****

For A Moment

She spoke through my window
Smile and hair still aglow
“Your poem made me cry”
Didn’t even ask her ‘why’

Maybe she’d been moved
Some little pain removed
Someone’s caring care
Had taken it to bear

For a moment

Or merely felt encouraged
Not to be discouraged
Or maybe just persuaded
To feel cautiously elated

Or maybe just contented
By thoughts I had presented
Or words that I had written
Had left her slightly smitten

For a moment

But suddenly I knew
None of it were true
Never could it be
She and me, me and she…

Red gave way to green
Had to leave the scene
The traffic left behind
Some sadness for my mind

Hard truth in the knowing
That simp-ally bestowing
A poem wrapped in money
Makes me anybody’s Honey

For a moment

******

I wrote the poem.

I take responsibility.

Cinnamon Girl!

Oh Hell Yeah!

Old, geriatric rockers… Better than the shit we suffer thru today!

This MY Fantasy (Although True)

Do NOT trample on it!

Added value:

Ain’t life unkind????

Lose yer mind.

For A Moment

I love RED

Better RED than ded!

Y’all know I have a Fatal Character Flaw:
“Weakness For Redheads.”

Well,

“Better Read Than Dead.”

(See whut I did there?)

I am still laughing at my own jokes!

First sign of insanity.

He said.

Oh! Cinnamon Girl!

Vid Cred: Redhead Express


Vid Cred: Europa Scythia

*Sequel to ‘Lady Projection’*

*****

For A Moment

She spoke through my window
Smile and hair still aglow
“Your poem made me cry”
Didn’t even ask her ‘why’

Maybe she’d been moved
Some little pain removed
Someone’s caring care
Had taken it to bear

For a moment

Or merely felt encouraged
Not to be discouraged
Or maybe just persuaded
To feel cautiously elated

Or maybe just contented
By thoughts I had presented
Or words that I had written
Had left her slightly smitten

For a moment

But suddenly I knew
None of it were true
Never could it be
She and me, me and she…

Red gave way to green
Had to leave the scene
The traffic left behind
Some sadness for my mind

Hard truth in the knowing
That simp-ally bestowing
A poem wrapped in money
Makes me anybody’s Honey

For a moment

******

I wrote the poem.

I take responsibility.

Cinnamon Girl!

Oh Hell Yeah!

Old, geriatric rockers… Better than the shit we suffer thru today!

This MY Fantasy (Although True)

Do NOT trample on it!

Added value:

Ain’t life unkind????

Lose yer mind.

“I Bought a Box of Tampons Today” or “How to Release Your ‘Inner-Macho’ in One Simple Step” (Pay Attention Boys; This One May Save Your Next Planned Fishin’ Trip)

Truly A Renaissance Man

Specifically, I purchased ‘Tampax Pearl’… “In the Blue & Green Box.”

Because THAT Was What SHE Required.

“Good luck. See ya when you get back. Be safe.”

Memphis, circa 2013

This was to be my quest, my only mission quest: to find those and only those specific tampons:

My Search for the…

Holy Grail of Feminine Hygiene Products!

(In the blue and green box? Are you fucking kidding me? I discovered Myriad tampons in blue & green boxes…)

In fact, an entire isle was dedicated to nothing but Tampons of various brands, all shapes and sizes and quantities and qualities.

Damn Near ALL of which were in blue and green boxes!

Welcome to The Tampon Jungle

Enjoy Your Stay

Fortunately, before embarking upon my Quest, I’d had the presence of mind, using my semi-smart phone, to capture an image of the now empty and defunct ‘pearls’ box.

Yep, I had fetched along a visual aid to guide me in my pursuit of the ‘keeping the little woman happy’ self-preservation project.

I’m real smart in this way.

I attribute this trait to my erstwhile Navy SEAL training:

***

Fun and Useful Fact Boys:

If your woman is really specific and passionate and matter-of-fact about something, it behooves you to set down your beer and pay close attention.

Don’t be bringin’ home no ‘Magic Beans’ Jack.

You’ll regret that.

***

Mission Accomplished. No apparent casualties.

Now Men, I know what some of you are thinking…

Won’t elaborate, as this is a ‘Family Friendly’ Blog Site.

But I will go even further on the box of The Pearl Tampons.

(‘In The Green Box’—there must be some metaphor to discover there.)

That Box O’Pearls was the only item in my shopping cart, naked those pearls were, all alone.

Ridin’ Solo in a big ol’ shoppin’ cart, just a-sittin’ there, revvin’ their engines..

All by their lonesome.

“I’m so lonesome I could cry”

Did I try to conceal  ‘em? Cover ‘em up with some dead red animal flesh, some pound or four of ground beef?

No.

Some Guns & Ammo mags?

No.

Three cases of beer?

No.

A chain saw from the lawn and garden department?

No.

Did I try to repeat the scene from “Summer of Forty Two” with the kid tryin’ to buy condoms? Askin’ for an ice cream cone, sprinkles, and almost every other small thing behind the counter, then…

”Oh, by the way, throw in some rubbers while you’re at it.”

No.

Naw.

Here is the reason:

I am Secure in My Masculinity.

I can purchase tampons for my woman while under the blinding glare of Super Market Lights from which nothing ever goes unnoticed.

No sweat.

No shame.

No fear.

No potential peril to my Manhood.

(I also listen to Joni Mitchell and Janis Ian and I cry at movies, some movies anyway. ‘RoboCop’ comes immediately to mind).

Point is, Guys Git Over It!

Go out and buy a box of tampons for your Lady.

And only a box of tampons.

(And only for your woman—if you don’t have a woman at this moment—just file this handy slice of advice away for future reference)

For the Rest of Y’all, I’ll leave you with this:

The Experience Shall Set You Free.

While simultaneously releasing your ‘Inner-Machismo-Mobility’

Trust me:

No one will dare fuck with a man packin’ tampons.

Credit: MDA Telethon

***

All in all, I’d pronounce this a favorable ‘Mission Outcome.’ No Casualties. Minimal Stress. Minimal Potential for PTSD.

Homeward Bound And Happy to Be Bearing The Spoils of War

Happy? Yes ‘Happy’

After all, with just one misstep, things could’ve gone horribly wrong in the Other Direction:

***

Some ‘Added Value’ just for Levity:

Street Cred for Vid: Shut Up! Cartoons

For A Moment

Y’all know I have a Fatal Character Flaw:
“Weakness For Redheads.”

Well,

“Better Red Than Dead.”

He said.

Oh! Cinnamon Girl!

Vid Cred: Redhead Express


Vid Cred: Europa Scythia

*Sequel to ‘Lady Projection’*

*****

For A Moment

She spoke through my window
Smile and hair still aglow
“Your poem made me cry”
Didn’t even ask her ‘why’

Maybe she’d been moved
Some little pain removed
Someone’s caring care
Had taken it to bear

For a moment

Or merely felt encouraged
Not to be discouraged
Or maybe just persuaded
To feel cautiously elated

Or maybe just contented
By thoughts I had presented
Or words that I had written
Had left her slightly smitten

For a moment

But suddenly I knew
None of it were true
Never could it be
She and me, me and she…

Red gave way to green
Had to leave the scene
The traffic left behind
Some sadness for my mind

Hard truth in the knowing
That simp-ally bestowing
A poem wrapped in money
Makes me anybody’s Honey

For a moment

******

Cinnamon Girl!

Oh Hell Yeah!

Old, geriatric rockers… Better than the shit we suffer thru today!

This MY Fantasy (Although True)

Do NOT trample on it!