Someone Recently ‘Discovered’ ‘Liked’ This—So Natch! What Does Ass-Hole Lance Do? Re-Fresh Re-Writes & Re-Spams! oF Corse! Yeah! Of Course!–

Matter Of Natural Progression–

Thank You, Darwin.

****

“And Take Yer Sweet Time WP”

(Why Do It Take You Six Days To Up-Load My Shit?)

While You Wait For Me To Lose My Train…

Of Thought”

“Just Watch The Movie”

My “Spelling” Always Lacks Something

Some Understanding

To Be Aspired…

Or Desired

I Am Forever

aLWAYS

tHE uNDER-aCHIEVER–

ME!

C’est Moi!

Hahahahahaha!

An Ass-Hole Is Always An Ass-Hole!

Of Course

Of Course!

Just Like A Horse!

Cred Fer Share: Steven No-Body

J/K!

Here is his LanceLot Link Link:

https://www.youtube.com/user/sduffrin

(Yeah! Re-Dumb-Dant!)

Git OVER IT!

“The Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.” –Mark Twain (And Now Shamelessly Stolen By Lance Marcom)

Unknown Brain – Dead (ft. KAZHI)

Laughing My Fu^king Ass Off!

This is a True, Recent Story: Not Something From ‘The Archives.’

No Names Have Been Changed To Protect Innocents

(Because I Don’t Know Any)

*****

It was recently brought to my attention that there is a rumor making the circuit in My Home Town of Honey Grove:

“Lance Marcom Was Found to be Dead.”

(Not sure where or why or how they found me, but those would just be superfluous details—no need for them—not in a small Texas Town)  

And ‘THOSE‘ would (most likely) just be Tales Told By Idiots, Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Nothing

–Sorry Will

Of course this made me laugh hysterically—and also made my day—no such thing as ‘bad press’ for a wanna-be fledgling writer.

So, ‘Thank-You-Very-Mucho-Much’ to whoever started this story.

While I was still laughing my ass off on the phone with my very good old friend who had brought this News to me, a brilliant idea began to gestate in my mind:

“Hey Johnny! Let’s run with this. You tell everyone that you have confirmed the veracity of this report. Then you set up a GoFundMe page for the Funeral Expenses—Should Fly—My Poverty is Well-Documented.

We’ll split the ‘Charitable’ Proceeds 50/50.”

(I have always had a bit of larceny in my bones and in my genes and in my heart)

“I’m on it.” said Johnny, “But do you honestly think anyone gives a shit about “Lance Marcom?”

“Print Up some Flyers; scatter them around in Ladonia–the ‘Marcom Name’ still carries a bit of weight there, Because of My Grandfather.

You know of him. He was the Town Doctor who would accept chickens, or pigs, or heifers, in lieu of money. He was loved and belov’d.”

I detected a ‘smirk’ (Remotely–on my Smart-Phone) crawling all-over-the-face of my Friend at the mention of ‘Heifers.’

“Johnny, they were ‘four-legg’d heifers–that’s all.’ My Grandfather Marcom was a Fucking Methodist!

And Allow me to reiterate.

I’ve been riding fare-free and care-free on his ‘Fame-Train’ all my life. “

Plan Incubated and Hatched—Now for the execution of same—no Pun

*******

As an aside, if the Police Do Get Involved, The Numero-Uno Prime Suspect Will Be Guess Who?

Yep

*******

“I’m not dead.  I feel fine. Think I’ll go for a walk…”

Causally Related:

Trash, White: White Trash. Need I Say More?Quothe The RaVin’ ‘Never- More!: Moi? Oui! That’s Just Me! Say Me! With A Bullet! Lock’d An’ Loaded! (WP Fucked This Post UP–I ‘Think’ I Fixed It–Let Me Know;…)

Nevermore!

Yes!

I Am Trash!

My ‘Cook-Book’

(I Keep It Handy–Next To My Wood Stove)

And Yes!

I’ve Read It.

Cover-To-Un-Cover

Thrice!

Sure Not A-Ashamed of it!

I AM Trash

White Trash

Most of MY Friends are Black an’ Brown

So What?

I live in A shit hole

I doan SEE Coler Couler…’

I ‘see’ good Peaples

Most of whom are black an’ Brown

I di-gress, I guess…

My point, If I had one…

I do Not see ‘Coler

I See Good people.

Only GOOD People!

I Only See good Peoples

I Want to BE One of Them

Jack Johnson – Good Peoples:


Jimmy Buffett – Good Guys Win

***

Wasted In Margarita-“Vile”

But Oh So Happy! Happy Happy!

Nibbl

in On Spo Cake

(Why Is TherE No Sound?)

Obviously

I Fukk’D UP

THE

‘UP The DOWN-LOAD

‘Stair-Case

I’ll ‘Fix’ It O’ Later

Or Maybe…

Maybe

NOT

Most Likely

NOT!