Lenny Bruce is Dead

Lenny Died.

I know this.

lenny grave

Yet, he lives on in my mind and in my heart.

Not going to go over the top here, but I am taking myself out of the ‘Daily Lenny Business’ business. (not many enjoyed it anyhow. I did. But I did  not ‘write’ for Lenny. I ‘wrote’ for me,  and for the edification of a few of my readers.)

No matters…

So.. This is your last ‘Daily Lenny’. I do hope you have enjoyed the previous seventy or so.

There will be no more.

This makes me sad. (because there is so much more Lenny I want to share, but alas, I am tired.)

–Lance

This video really sucks. I will search out a better one. (Maybe tomorrow) I do it for the children..

Oh! More Lenny Here:

https://404.com

 

Daily Lenny: Carnegie Hall Part II

TGIF and Here is The Daily Lenny: Carnegie Hall Part II

Enjoy!

 (Thanks to Theo Cas for posting this one on YouTube) 

Thanks for visiting and listening

More Lenny may be found here

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

tex flag

 

I was so… Pulling for Y’all!

My daily record was 148 hits.

Today (well, yesterday now)

‘We’ hit 147!

I was on pins an’ needles!

“C’mon! Do it! Do it England!” (Where were my Brits?) And Yes! I stole that line from “Hamlet’. Claudius did speak it better.

But I just knew we ‘had’ it this time!

*alas*

We trailed in at one-forty-seven.

I thought this the night!

Shite!

Next time… Perhaps.

Then what? “Is that all there is?”

“Let’s break out the booze and have a ball.”

 

Daily Lenny: Know Your Audience

Good Advice For Bloggers, I Suppose…

“Know Your Audience(s)”

Here is Lenny 

Know Him. Love Him. Know & Love Thyself

“The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what is.”

“A lot of people say to me, `Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.”

–Lenny Bruce

Lenny Finger

Thank You for visiting my Blog

More Lenny Found Here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

And has become my wont, here is some Sarah to get you through the rest of your weekend:

Credit: 

ChelseaLately

 

Inspired

Someone I know (and admire), compelled me to post this video. (Unknowingly / Unwittingly) 

I hope you enjoy it.

It makes me feel so right about supporting Women’s Rights. (And Their Strength) 

(No more preaching here from me; I do not wish to degrade the effect of the Video)

Yes, I know. This is a Socialist Song. But, without support from the home…well…

I still maintain this is a woman’s song.

“I like it Stripey” or if you will, “Chardonnay! Take me Away!”

This is a tale of two blogs. Or perhaps a blog of two tales. Or perhaps…

“More matter with less art” may be apropos here.

Indeed Gertrude!

(This post will surely go ‘viral’. Which by my standards simply means, ‘Six will read it. Three will ‘like’ it, and one will comment on it. Yep. ‘Viral’)

So without further ado, here we go:

My English Girl Friend asked me to mow her yard (years ago). As I was dusting off the old mower she remarked,

“I like it stripey.”

“Huh?”

“You know: ‘stripey’, like a golf course.”

So I’m thinking, ‘Stripey. Do you see a fucking candy cane on my shirt woman?”

Now of course I did not verbalize my musings. Oh hell no! I have learned a thing or two about women in my time. (Well certainly not near enough, but enough to keep my balls away from them late at night when they, just maybe, have had that one-too-many-glass-of-wine and have been ferreting about in the utensil drawer, coming out with a steak knife and a Lorena Bobbitt frame of reference.)

I know some shit about women.

Anyway, hoping to scare up some Karma and justification for a ‘Beer Run’, today I mowed the yard and by damn! I made it ‘Stripey’, and it cost me, by my estimation, an extra beer and a half in sweat. You see, it ain’t easy mowing greens.

Stripey

The next bit involves Real Drinkers (Yeah, but Y’all probably knew that already)

I lived with a woman once.

Okay, more than once and more than one woman.

“Round Round, Get Around” I got around!

(Stop it Lance!)

OK

I lived with a woman once…

She was / is (probably still) my best friend.

We had a rather platonic ‘lationship. We were more or less (generally more) ‘Drinking Buddies’. (Please remind me sometime to tell you of the time we drove her new Jaguar through a brick wall)

While I was working in Iraq I would fly her to Europe when I took my R&R’s. I let her plan all the trips. (I could not be bothered you see? I was too busy trying to keep a relationship with my ass and trying not to walk over an IED, and other such things which tend to keep one’s mind occupied. No. Travel Plans and Itinerant Itineraries did not fall into my Top Ten Things I Need To Do Today.)

Once I found myself between gigs, as it were (And I had escaped my fourth marriage), I ended up at her house.

She had a huge, and yes, Texan-Huge, yard(s). She force-labored me (and herself, to be fair) to slave away in the yardI(s) until “Wine Time” Which was at precisely 1600hrs. Believe me: I was watching my watch all day, hoping Einstein would make an exception and speed up his Time/Space Continuum. Just for me.

I wanted that fucking ‘Wine Time’ and by Jove! I wanted it Now!

So, the two of us would shake (and rattle and prattle and roll) until ‘Wine Time’.

Who were we kidding?

I finally secured a new Gig in Afghanistan and escaped

And not one moment too soon.

The daily anticipation of ‘Wine Time’ almost did me in.

***

These two posts were inspired by my sometime muse, Mark.

Now, Mark has a blog site (you probably could have guessed that)

Well, Mark’s site always seems to inspire me to write some reeeely stupid shit. And yes, I use ‘stupid shit’ as a term of Endearment, when referring to Mark’s Blog (and his column in ‘The Syracuse New Times’)

But, using Mark in this shamless fashion often gets me in Trouble with My Real Muse. Let’s call her Maggie, as that is her name. (shhhh! Don’t tell, but if you get ‘stuck’ with Writer’s Block head on over to Mr. Mark’s Page. You will depart with a month’s worth of shit to write about… Please don’t quote me. I have to live with my muse, and sometimes, well… She just ain’t amused)

She has been with me for some years (many years and beers).

Well, today, as I was laughing my ass off at something Mark posted, she woke up from her nap.

“Hiya Maggie. How was your nap?”

“I had a horrible dream,” she said.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” I said back. “What was your dream?”

“I dreamt you were cheating on me.”

“Nonsense!” I said with not enough sincerity.

“Yes! And I am a fucking Muse, and I know about these things. Back when I was working for Will, he used to cheat on me with that bitch Viola. I dumped his ass and he never wrote another play worth a shit or a cup of warm spit.”

(Opps! Nothing worse than a woman scorned for fury. Note to self: “hide the steak knives.”)

And just in case Y’all don’t yet think I have gone completely insane, I leave you with this:

Vid Credit: PsychoDad1860

 

Daily Lenny: King Kong

Not certain if any of Y’all have noticed, but I am obsessed with Lenny Bruce.

Jes’ sayin’

Anyway, below is Your Daily Lenny. It is a bit of an esoteric stream of consciousness…

and I love it!

"It was beauty killed the beast."

“It was beauty killed the beast.”

More Lenny Here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

And some Sarah there:

https://texantales.com/category/sarah/

And Thanks For Your Support!

 

Daily Lenny: The Phone Company

Okay, this is horribly dated, but… some of you out there will relate, like me (showing one’s age)

Please enjoy:

phone

More Lenny Here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

And Hey! 

Thanks for stopping by.

And just as I like to ‘stir’ the melting pot… there is this: (no one will listen anyhow)

Daily Lenny: Three Message Movies

Today’s Daily Lenny

Message Movies:

“Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”
–Lenny

Lenny on stage

Natalie Wood

A More Beautiful Woman…Cannot Even Imagine.

 

Thanks for stopping by.

More Lenny Here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

 

On The Street Where I Lived: School Days

Part Three in a Continuing Series

Part One & Part Two

****

The school I attended from Fourth through Sixth Grade segregated the kids into three classes: High Aptitude, Medium Aptitude, Low Aptitude. Of course my buddies and I had our own names for these three ‘Classes’: “Smart Kids” (us), “Dumb Kids”, and “Really Dumb Kids.” There was absolutely no socialization between the three classes. None. Ever. I cannot imagine California (or any other state school board) using this practice now.

Once initially ‘placed’ into your category, there was virtually no way to make a move (in either direction). But during the second half of my Fifth Grade year, I took a real running stab at getting ‘demoted’ from ‘Smart’ to ‘Dumb’ Classification. I have always been easily distracted. One day during Mathematics Class, the teacher showed us a trick I found fascinating. He taught us we could make a curved line out of a bunch of straight lines. This was a revelation to me.

Curved Lines

For the next several weeks, I spent all my time in classrooms experimenting with this new found ‘miracle’. I created countless drawings, some very colorful, some just black on white. The possibilities seemed endless. Of course my school work suffered in direct proportion to my budding creative talent. I quit doing my homework or even participating in class. I attribute this to my addictive personality. I was addicted to making curved lines out of straight. Nothing else was as much fun, especially while in class. Strangely enough, it really wasn’t fun at all as soon as I got home from school in the afternoons.

Continue reading

The Daily Lenny: Steve Allen Show

Okay Astronauts:  Here is your daily Lenny.

This is very early Lenny: before he hit his stride, but since I am going to continue to subject any willing readers, I thought I would mix things up a bit, not going for the low-fruit, which is the really great edgy shit he did years later.

This one is from the Steve Allen Show, which I believe I had mentioned in an earlier post.

It is not too bad, although it is not representative of the Lenny most know (and love). But you can experience the wonder of the evolution of  Bruce without his having to use profanity, which I still protest he always used sparingly and never gratuitously.

(I like it more when he talks ‘dirty’, I must confess. Hahahha)

This is the mark of a great comic.

Comments?

Happy Thursday Y’all.

–Lancer

P.S. You must give credit to Steve Allen, and people like Tommy Smothers (http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/12/22/1264780/-When-the-Smothers-Brothers-Got-Censored) who, back in that day caught a lot of shit for their TV shows. My hat (if I wore one) would be off to the THEM Too.

“All Alone”

Lyndon Johnson: Just Another Guy Lookin’ Out for His Jewels

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy. JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace. All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug Ladybird?

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldy-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

https://www.maryferrell.org/pages/LBJ_Phone_Calls.html

 

 

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.