Expanded & Really, Really Stupid–A Pity-Party for Me. This is Really Stupid, Yet Deserves Another Look. Word Around the Campfire: “Lance is Drunk”–Again) (Snow, Texas (NO) Power & Light, Abusive Muse: True Love of My Life, All Mish-Mashed Together. Snow Ice-Cream Anyone? I’m buyin’. BYOVE–Bring Yer Own Vanilla Extract: I drank all of Mine.

Lance’s Little Chariot:

***

I fucking LOVE THIS MOVIE!

I almost ‘did’ this scene (first one below) in 1979 when I flew from The Sinai Desert, Egypt to Texas to STOP the Wedding of My Highschool Sweatheart. I was 4 hours late! By the time I got there, they were already heading for their honeymoon in Waco! Worst day of my young life up to that point!

P.S. My Girl was even more beautiful than Kate Ross

True Story!

Vid Share Cred: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChZE6YO1kG7YVD9DJ4oDGOw

An aside: Katherine Ross is The Most Beautiful Woman In The History of “Woman.”—Except for MY GIRL–But Precisely Why My MS Muse is Moniker’ed “Katherine.”

I cannot doxx My Girl by Naming My Muse After Her…

And “The Graduate” is one of the Greatest Movies Ever Made.—Don’t Believe Me?—Just Ask My Muse, Katherine. She’ll Set You Straight as you are picking yourself up off the floor. (Remember, She has that Devastation Right Hook. And, Trust me on this: She Does Not Suffer Fools)

And Yes!

I wrote a University Paper On This Movie as Well.

For My “Film & Literature Class”

***

Woke up in Total Darkness

And To The Sound of Silence. 

No CNN White Noise.

No computer purring/whirring.

Not even MS Muse Stirring.

WTF?!

Power was out!

Looked out my back door.

Then it all made sense.

Shut the door and went back inside.

Fumbled around and found my flashlight.

Discovered a note pinned to my pillow.

It was from MS Muse (Who else?)

It Read:

“Hey Asshole, (She is so sweet), I am mounting my broom and flying the fuck outta this dump. You may reach me at The Magnuson Hotel (they have a backup generator) once you get this shit sorted and the lights back on.

Meantime, Light a candle and continue working.

I’m watching you. Never think I’m not”

First time I heard this Bill Withers’ Masterpiece, the Radio Man came on immediately after the song had finished and provided his ‘insight:’

He said,

“I counted the ‘I know, I know, I know’s’

Twenty-Four.

And you’re welcome.”

I had to laugh because I was tryin’ to count them too.

I lost count and failed. DJ Man succeeded.

Guess that was why he was spinning records for money.

And I was spinning my wheels in Small-Town Texas World.

For No Money

**********

And Never Forget Ann Bancroft, aka:

‘Mrs. Robinson’

Video Capture Credit: 05vs1

*********

Added Value For “Upbeat” Happy Purposes Only

Few Better Than ‘The Dino’

SHITTY PITY PARTY

Lance walks into his ‘physic’ therapist’s office and slumps down into a chair…

“Hello” too effusive psychotherapist says. “And how are WE today?”
“Shitty,” I answer.
“Oh no!!” he says. “We can never be ‘shitty’, as you say. WE are always ‘Happy’.”
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Mister Marcom. ‘WE’ do NOT talk this Way.”
“Fuck you Doc, I talk this way AND I am paying you so I CAN talk this way.”
“OK, why then are you “shitty” as you call it?”
Leaning back… wondering how long this court – ordered bullshit must go on, I decide to hit him with it:
“I am shitty ‘cause I have written some good shit on my blog and no one is reading it.”
“Please do go on.”
“Well… there is that one about Southpark
“You mean J.R.’s Ranch?”
“Do you have a Degree, Doc?”
“Of course, right over there on the wall, see it?”
“What’s it in, your De-gree?”
“Phycology.”
“Yeah, guess that makes some sense; knew it wasn’t in ‘Pop Culture’, Pops.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Never mind.”
“Let us get back to YOUR problem and away from my credentials, shall we? No one reads your ‘shit’, but why?”
“‘t-l-d-r’ in the vernacular.”
“’Tee el dee r’? I’m afraid I do not understand your meaning here.”
“’Too Long; Didn’t Read’ Asshole.”
“Mister Marcom, I must implore you not to continue to abuse me with such language; I am merely attempting to help you here. Why is it too long? Do you hate your mother?”
“Well, it took days and days to write… And who ARE you? Do you even know what it is ‘to write’?”
“Let us focus on ‘your problem.’ shall we?”
“Doc, let us focus on yours: I don’t want to be here and THAT is YOUR Problem. I just want folks to read my shit.”
“I cannot help you there Son. Perhaps though if I may proffer a suggestion?”
“Sure. Fire away.”
“Write some better ‘shit’, as you call it.”

And then I realized I HAD gotten one benefit from this Court-Mandated Counseling: “Write Some Better Shit.”