The Abusive Muse

“Well, What’s the Story?”

“Well, There’s this pirate… In Truth, I Have Not Written a Word.”

Shakespeare in Love | ‘Romeo & Ethel’ (HD) – Joseph Fiennes, Geoffrey Rush | MIRAMAX



“Wake the fuck UP!”

“Who are you?”

“Your Muse.”

“Oh, I thought You That Delirium Tremens Monster.”

“No. He will be around later. Right now you have me.”

“Okay. Something on your mind?”

“Yes. You need to get up and write.”

“I am sleepy.”

“Time enough to sleep when you’re dead.”

“Really? We gonna go there?”

“Get your ass up; plant your ass on that chair. Hit the keyboard. Write!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“’Want’ has nothing, and everything to do with this.”


To Be Continued…. 


Part two here

I Love Ants. And Spiders. And Snakes. And All Manner of Critters In General. Yeah, I Am ‘Simple.’ “A Queen! A Queen! My Kingdom For A Queen!”

Cred For Vid Share: ana2bananas


“I Don’t Like Spiders And Snakes”

And Y’all Know That’s A Lie.

I LOVE Spiders And Snakes.

And Ants.

Especially Ants.

When I was a young teen, freshly discovering the Joys of Puberty, I had an Ant Farm.

(Early Puberty does strange things to Not quite still Boys, but not quite Yet Men.)

silly ant

I had an Ant-Farm.

Not one of those green and clear plastic “Toy Ant Farms.”

Oh, Hell No!

This was hand-crafted and from fine pine two-by-fours: Two panes of 3/8” plate glass measuring thirty by twenty-four inches seated in the painstakingly mitered channels of the wood sandwiched the heavy Plaster of Paris block inside. In which I had meticulously carved all the ant-sized tunnels and oval shaped ‘ante-rooms’ for the ants to place the larvae and store the rations for a winter that would never come.

For these were domesticated ants—house ants, if you will—I had willed them such. These tunnels and carved out spaces were painstakingly coated with clean sand using a strong, but non-toxic well-cured epoxy.

It seems I had always been fascinated by ‘every creeping thing… and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds…’ And ants were always at the top of my ‘Creepeth Hit Parade.’ Once I had my initial stock, I spent many a happy hour studying their daily perambulations. I loved them dearly.

“Yes Elizabeth, ‘tis a strange one, this boy…”

Continue reading

For Some Bizarre Reason This Moldy Old Post Gets ‘Hits’ Everyday. I Have No Clue as to Why. Surely I Have “Written” Better Shit. Which Goes Mostly Un-Noticed & Ignored. I Have Worshiped/Been In-Love With Billie Holiday For All-My-Life

Billie Holiday poses for a studio portrait in 1939 in the United States. (Photo by Gilles Petard/Redferns)

–Save For A Few ‘Die-Hard Fans’–(Thank Y’all Die-Hard Fans) But Alas. Woe Is Me. I’d Like to Reach A Larger Audience.

(This is Mainly Just A ‘Puff-Piece’–Constructed of Stuff I Callously/Un-Abashedly/Shamelessly Stole Off the Internet)


Whatever–I Do Not Look Gift Horses in Their Mouths.

“Christopher Hitchens: On The Suicide of His Mother”

Yeah. That’s The Title Of this Shit-Post


Rosencrantz and Guildenstern:

This seems to be popular.

Of late.

fuk it.

Perhaps it is just the sign of the seasons….

“What’s Your Name?

Who’s Your Daddy?

Is He Rich Like Me?”

People Seemed to Have More fun In the Sixties.

But isn’t that Always the Way It Is?

We Always hearken to Our Past.


Our Future Is Right Now–


Cred: Some Walking Dead Zombies


Maybe we all want to commit suicide.

I have Pondered it Too Many Times

(But I Am A Coward)

Yet…Relinquish the world back to the roaches.

Surely they could do no worse, management – wise.

“To Die–Sleep No More”

The below is transcribed from Hitch’s book “Hitch-22”

Hitch 22 cigs


…because most of what I know about manic depression I first learned from Hamlet.

“I have of late,” the Prince of Denmark tells us, “but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth.” Everyone living has occasionally experienced that feeling, but the lines that accompany it are the best definition of the blues that was ever set down.

(“Tired of living, scared of dying” is the next-best encapsulation, offered in “Old Man River.”) Who would carry on with the unending tedium and potential misery if they did not think that extinction would even be less desirable or—as it is phrased in another of Hamlet’s mood-swing soliloquies—if “the ever-lasting” had “not set his canon ‘gainst self-slaughter”?

There are fourteen suicides in eight works of Shakespeare, according to Giles Romilly Feddnen’s study of the question, and these include the deliberate and ostensibly noble ones of Romeo and Juliet and of Othello.

It’s of interest that only Hamlet’s darling Ophelia, whose death at her own hands is not strictly intentional, it is the object of condemnation by the clergy. My own indifference to religion and refusal to credit any babble about an afterlife has, alas, denied me the hearty satisfaction experienced by Ophelia’s brother Laertes, who whirls on the moralizing cleric to say:

“I tell thee, churlish priest,

A ministering angel shall my sister be,

When thou liest howling.”

Memorable to be sure, but too dependent on the evil and stupidity of the heaven/hell dualism, and of scant use to me in deciding how it was that a thoughtful, loving, cheerful, person like Yvonne, who was in reasonable health, would want to simply give up.

I thought it might have something to do with what the specialists call “anhedonia,” or the sudden inability to derive pleasure from anything, most especially from the pleasurable. Al Alverez, in his very testing and demanding study of the subject, “The Savage God,” returns often to the suicide of Cesare Pavese, who took his own life at the apparent height of his powers.  

Don't stay here

“In the year before he died he turned out two of his best novels… One month before the end he received the Strega Prize, the supreme accolade for an Italian writer. ‘I have never been so much alive as now,’ he wrote, ‘never so young.’

A few days later he was dead. Perhaps the sweetness itself of his creative powers made his innate depression all the harder to bear.”


Thank you for reading.


(We now return you to our regularly scheduled…)

For Reference:

I love Helena Bonham Carter… Cannot help myself. (This scene is disturbing: do Not Watch)

If You Watch Nothing Else, Please Please PLEASE  Watch This:

Credit: And watch it AGAIN!

Here now (I hope) is the proper credit:

Cred: jakuerika

Shonnie Was My ‘Lady Macbeth’– Just Thought You Should Know This B4 You Attempt To Wade Your Way Thru This Pointless Post.

(If You Are New Here & Confused,

Just Perform A ‘Search’ For “Shonnie’ In The Search… Never-Mind…


“Look Like the Innocent Flower, But Be The Serpent under’t”


“Come you Spirits, That tend on mortal thoughts, Unsex me Here.”Or…

How to Play Mumbley Peg | The Art of Manliness


Been Here.

Done This!

(And I Have The Scars To Prove It)


Cred: Art of Manliness


Out Of All Shakespearean Female Characters

This Cowboy Finds Lady Macbeth

The Most Captivating

The Most Fascinating

The Most Stimulating

The Most Everlasting

Francesca Annis, The Best Lady Macbeth

Ever! and Forever!


Blond Ambition:


“Take The Dagger”

She Didn’t Verbalize That. She Didn’t Have To

Just Look Into Her Eyes. Could You Say ‘No?”

I Know I couldn’t.



     My dearest love,

Duncan comes here tonight.


     And when goes hence?


Tomorrow, as he purposes.


     O, never

Shall sun that morrow see!

Your face, my thane, is as a book where men

May read strange matters. To beguile the time,

Look like the time. Bear welcome in your eye,

Your hand, your tongue. Look like th’ innocent flower,

But be the serpent under ’t. He that’s coming

Must be provided for; and you shall put

This night’s great business into my dispatch,

Which shall to all our nights and days to come

Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.


We will speak further


Only look up clear.

To alter favor ever is to fear.

Leave all the rest to me


“Make Thick My Blood”

“Unsex Me Here”


Why do I hold Lady Macbeth in such high esteem one may ask?

Isn’t it patently obvious?

She is cunning. She is manipulative. She is strong. (Much stronger than her husband)

“Screw your courage to the sticking-place, And we’ll not fail.”


She is intelligent.

She is ‘ambition-on-steroids’.

She is resolute.

She is brave.


She is Affectionate and Loving.

(Yes! Oh Yes She Is!—To her husband)


She is loyal (The whole world of her ambition is her husband)


She is broken.

She is madness. (In mind and in deed)

“Out! damned spot! One, two, — why, then ‘tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier and a-feard?

What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? – Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.”


She is Beautiful.

She is Beautiful.

She is So Very Beautiful


In very many respects, she reminds me of Shonnie.


But now she is gone.

“Out, Out Brief Candle

Please Believe What I Now Speak:

“I Have Supped Full of Horrors.”

Indeed! I Have!


And now for something completely different…

Just a little levity.

‘Tis Good For The Soul.

Street Cred For Vid: Wisecrack

I AM REALLY Tryin’ To Send Some Money To My Thug-Notes Homie,

But Guess What?!

The Internet is FUCKING STUPID.Yet, Know This:

The KEY To Posting On-The-Internet… Is Patience.

You Just Gotta Out-Last ’em!

But Don’t Worry! I Will Work it OUT!


Author’s Note (And Two-Cents):

Yes, I know.

Roman Polanski is an Asshole.

So What?


Anyone who ‘reads me’ knows my position on ‘artists’ and art.

If you do not, here is the ‘short’ version:

“I don’t give two cups of warm spit about what they (artists, creators, movie stars, entertainers, et cetera) do off camera, off stage, away from the set, away from the recording booth. Or whatever they choose to do while in their boudoirs.

All I care about is what they create.

Does it enrich my life?

Does it entertain me?

Does it educate me?

Does it make me laugh?

Does it make me cry?

Does it move me?

Or Does It Waste My Time?

These are the only measures of worth I employ.”


Anything Else IS A WASTE of my Mental Energy and My Time.

And My Time is the Most Valuable Thing I Own.

Or as we say in Texas (Usually about Land, but it fits even better in this context):

“Time, get all you can.

Keep all you can.

They ain’t making any more of it.”

That door swings both ways:

So, I hope I have NOT wasted YOUR Time.



More Two Cents Worth Regarding Art and Artists Here:

Below Please Find The Relevant Text If You Do Not Want To Follow The Link To The Complete Post Above.


Now I am cognizant of the fact that there are myriad ‘Madonna Haters’ out there in ‘Radio Land.’

Here is My Philosophy, (Well-Documented in some of my posts) and some advice:

You don’t have to love the ‘artist-person’ to love the art. There are lots of performers I detest because of their off-stage persona or antics, or just piss-poor personality in general.

But… That does not stop me from enjoying and appreciating their art.

I do not give two shits about their politics, arrogance, religion, sexual preferences, et cetera. If their art entertains and enriches my life, I am good with them.

On the other hand, they can be as wonderful and charming as all get out, but if they have no true performance talent, I move on.

Here is the advice part for anyone out there who may need it:

Do not be so narrow and small-minded, and full of your own morality that you prevent yourself from enjoying good art.


Want a Second Opinion?

Watch this from Critical Drinker:

That loss is yours.

And yours alone.

Believe me, the artists, the great ones especially, don’t give a shit if you boycott them or not.

Try to remember:

“Life is a Cabaret”

Enjoy it while it lasts. Don’t deny yourself value and enjoyment in your life just because some great performer pisses you off due to their persona while off-stage.


Cheers Again!

Fun, Stupid Aside: I Once Shot (And Killed A Mocking-Bird–State Bird Of Texas–It WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!

(And Yet Must I Re-Iterate , Re-Irritate, The Obvious?–

I Wrote A University – Level Paper,,,

On This Book/Movie)

(I Hid / Buried/ The Body...)

Have a Wonderful, Happy, Beautiful, Bless’d Day: All Y’all Will BE OK–Trust Me: I’m With The Government. All Be OK Yay!—I LOVE & Appreciate ALL Y’alls! All Le Both of You

All My Readers! All Four of Y’all!–Chug-A-Lug Chug-A-Lug Y’all!– Have One On Me! But–I Generally Drink Alone!

(I Create Fewer Enemies That Way) P.S. My Life is a Train Wreck, But Y’all Knew This Already, Been Described That Way, By A Woman I tried to Love Once. Back in Navy Daze….

Her Memory is all Just a Blurry Haze Now.

My Life is Like A Fukkin’ Hurricane Gone Crazy Mad


Goddamn WordPress Fucked Up This Post. They ALWAYS Try To Censor Me. But I, I ALWAYS Delve One Rung Beneath Their Bull-Shite.

Now I am Forced to Fix it!

And Trust Me Kids,

I Have Better Things to Do–To Occupy My Mind and My Time!



Please Please Please Listen to The WORDS oF tHIS Fuckin’ Song!

I’m Gonna Be The Champion of the World!

Someday–Some Other Day

But Obviously Not Today

Here Comes The Story Of The Hurricane:

Who The Fuk is This Guy?

Oh! Wait!

I’ve Seen Him

In the Mirror!



I’m In Booze Heaven!

Bryan Adams – Cuts Like A Knife 

My Life Cuts Like A Dull Knife


“Coulda Sworn We Had It All Worked Out”

Cred: Bryan Adams


Booze Heaven!

I Have Nothing But Love For My Readers!


Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Grape wine in a Mason jar
Homemade and brought to school
By a friend of mine ‘n’ after class
Me and him and this other fool decide
That we’ll drink up what’s left
Chug-a-lug, so we helped ourself

First time for everything
Hmm, my ears still ring
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
4-H and FFA

On a field trip to the farm
Me ‘n’ a friend sneak off behind
This big old barn where we uncovered
A covered-up moonshine still
And we thought we’d drink our fill

And I swallered it with a smile
? Bll-bbb?, I run ten mile
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Jukebox ‘n’ sawdust floor

Sumpin’ like I ain’t never seen
And I’m just goin’ on fifteen
But with the help of my finaglin’
Uncle I get snuck in
For my first taste of sin
I said, “Lemme have a big old sip”
? Bll-bbb?, I done a double back flip
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug

Roger And Me

Me and Roger!

(One of My Ex-Wives Turned Me Onto this—-

Cannot Remember

Which One—

Probably Lisa

The Shakespearean/Marlowe Scholar One!

You Can Be Happy If’n You’re Of A Mind To.

But Yu Caint Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd!

Mad Props To Roger!

fun fact:

my first for real gF was third cousin to

Rogern Miller.

Truth story!

Yu Caint Look That Up!

You’ll Just have to take My Word fer it!


Slight Up-Date: No! Just A ‘Re-Regurgitate’. Call Me Crazy, But I Have Just Experienced a ‘Brief Epiphany.’

Et, Oui: ‘Je Suis laissez faire’ Avec’ Le Punctuation–Realty. Nor Can I Be ‘Bothered’ With Speilling Neither–For That Matter.

For You See… I Just Cannot Be ‘Bothered’ With Such Mundane, Lame, Details—

All I’m A-Sayin’…

(And yes, I know. All epiphanies are brief)

We all have our ‘About’ Pages. Who really ever reads them? (I do)

Here is mine, in case you may have missed it.

(And No! This is not some vain fantasy; just a clarification)

Cheers Y’all.


By Way of Introduction (UPDATED 11 July) Bugs Bunny

Hail Yes and Merrily Met!

My name is Lance Marcom and These Pages will be my Home for the foreseeable future. All are welcome here–welcome to compliment, deride, disparage, commiserate, cajole, rant, rave, fawn, frown–In short, all comments will be appreciated.


This Virgin  De-flowered Slut Blog O’ Mine will contain Tall Tales, Short Tales, Middlin’ Tales, Major Tales, Minor Tales…

Tales of Amusement, Tales of Adventure, Tales of Larceny, Tales of Woes, Tales of Foes, Tales of Loves Won & Lost, Tales of Fortunes Achieved & Squandered, and much more as becomes my wont… 

Tales From Texas, The Middle East, The Far East, The Near East, The Southeast, The South Coast, The South Pacific,The Left Coast, The Old World, and Perhaps Even Oklahoma…

But most importantly, I wish this to be a place for my guests to enjoy, for:

“No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en.”

(That’s Shakespeare, Y’all.)


Just For Fun Y’all, I am going to throw a new video (or quote, or some other surprise nonsense) up here everyday. Why? You may ask. 

Because I think an ‘About Page’ should be ever-changing and dynamic, just as the Person it is purported to be “About” is ever-changing and dynamic.

Therefore, I upload some of my favorite stuff here. Daily (usually)

So…  here goes for 11 July: Albuquerque (I had the opportunity to live there, once.) For, you see, my mom took a wrong turn at Moriarty… hence: young lives changed. For some forever.

Hope you enjoy.

And please do not forget to listen to what was my mantra while cooling my heels in Amman Jordan in late ’07


The Best of the Hitchslap

tex flag


Bullshit Legal Stuff:

I Suppose it is Time (alas):

All This Shit Is Copyrighted.
Please Respect that, for:

“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls: Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing; ’twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands; But he that filches from me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him, And makes me poor indeed.”

-The Management

More ‘Shonnie’ tomorrow. Story at eleven.

Night, Night.


Someone once posited the idea that good posts always challenge the reader with a question (“This invites discourse”)

I cannot disagree, but by the time I finish my posts. I am all ‘discoursed out’.

That said, ’tis good advice. So, here is my million-dollar question:

“How many of y’all ever go to the ‘about’ page ‘ere you ‘follow’? I know I do. And for just one important reason: Sometimes we are misled and by being misled, we tend to ‘say’ things that are offensive to the blogger. Therefore, I like to get a ‘feel’ if you will, of the person’s blog I am about to comment all over. I do not aim for controversy, but I seem to land there more often than not.

Point is… know your audience and never purposely offend.

And May Peace Always Find You.