The Idiot And The Odyssey. Oh My Fukken Gawd! Lost At Sea! But I Got A One-Way Ticket For My “Destination” ‘Destination?’–I Suppose San Dog Must Suffice (In-A-Pinch Of Vice)

What An Idiot And An Odyssey!

I Shall Re-Count This,

Just As Soon as I Sober-up and Re-Discover Sobriety

Kris K: Native TEXAN!

The ‘Perfect’ Sailor Song!

What We Have Here… Failure To Communicate… WP is Far Beyond Stupid. “Frustration Nation”–This Is Where I Reside–But There’s No Place Like Home. For Me…Take A Wild Guess. TEXAS! Yep Y’all! TEXAS Forever!

And Abide

It, It is Is Natural Disaster

Had a train, of thought, recently

About a Tale of Two Cities

Both Named Paris..

He went to Paris

And Scre”w Thar Poooch!


“Oh My Goodness!

We Got Ourselves a Natural Disaster”

Or A Failure to Communicate!

Oh and by the way, fuck spellin’ an’ The Punctuation Police


Someone Recently ‘Discovered’ ‘Liked’ This—So Natch! What Does Ass-Hole Lance Do? Re-Fresh Re-Writes & Re-Spams! oF Corse! Yeah! Of Course!–

Matter Of Natural Progression–

Thank You, Darwin.


“And Take Yer Sweet Time WP”

(Why Do It Take You Six Days To Up-Load My Shit?)

While You Wait For Me To Lose My Train…

Of Thought”

“Just Watch The Movie”

My “Spelling” Always Lacks Something

Some Understanding

To Be Aspired…

Or Desired

I Am Forever




C’est Moi!


An Ass-Hole Is Always An Ass-Hole!

Of Course

Of Course!

Just Like A Horse!

Cred Fer Share: Steven No-Body


Here is his LanceLot Link Link:

(Yeah! Re-Dumb-Dant!)


“The Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.” –Mark Twain (And Now Shamelessly Stolen By Lance Marcom)

Unknown Brain – Dead (ft. KAZHI)

Laughing My Fu^king Ass Off!

This is a True, Recent Story: Not Something From ‘The Archives.’

No Names Have Been Changed To Protect Innocents

(Because I Don’t Know Any)


It was recently brought to my attention that there is a rumor making the circuit in My Home Town of Honey Grove:

“Lance Marcom Was Found to be Dead.”

(Not sure where or why or how they found me, but those would just be superfluous details—no need for them—not in a small Texas Town)  

And ‘THOSE‘ would (most likely) just be Tales Told By Idiots, Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Nothing

–Sorry Will

Of course this made me laugh hysterically—and also made my day—no such thing as ‘bad press’ for a wanna-be fledgling writer.

So, ‘Thank-You-Very-Mucho-Much’ to whoever started this story.

While I was still laughing my ass off on the phone with my very good old friend who had brought this News to me, a brilliant idea began to gestate in my mind:

“Hey Johnny! Let’s run with this. You tell everyone that you have confirmed the veracity of this report. Then you set up a GoFundMe page for the Funeral Expenses—Should Fly—My Poverty is Well-Documented.

We’ll split the ‘Charitable’ Proceeds 50/50.”

(I have always had a bit of larceny in my bones and in my genes and in my heart)

“I’m on it.” said Johnny, “But do you honestly think anyone gives a shit about “Lance Marcom?”

“Print Up some Flyers; scatter them around in Ladonia–the ‘Marcom Name’ still carries a bit of weight there, Because of My Grandfather.

You know of him. He was the Town Doctor who would accept chickens, or pigs, or heifers, in lieu of money. He was loved and belov’d.”

I detected a ‘smirk’ (Remotely–on my Smart-Phone) crawling all-over-the-face of my Friend at the mention of ‘Heifers.’

“Johnny, they were ‘four-legg’d heifers–that’s all.’ My Grandfather Marcom was a Fucking Methodist!

And Allow me to reiterate.

I’ve been riding fare-free and care-free on his ‘Fame-Train’ all my life. “

Plan Incubated and Hatched—Now for the execution of same—no Pun


As an aside, if the Police Do Get Involved, The Numero-Uno Prime Suspect Will Be Guess Who?



“I’m not dead.  I feel fine. Think I’ll go for a walk…”

Causally Related:

My Frath-Coming ‘Biden’ Post–I’ll Git Back To… To Too Much Into ‘Happiness’–Tuit, Screw It!–Work In I Die-Gress! Progress. Bye And Bye Bye! And Bye-Bye Bye Bye! Ed. Note:

You Can’t Fix / Break In-Her-

Ain’t Happiness!


“Stupid Is As Stupid Does”


Street Cred:

Ron White!




Crank Up The Volume!

Go On:

Get Happy!


Round Tuit!

This Is A Short One, But I Need No Time To Prove That I Am Weird/Eccentric

I Actually “Read” All The Credits At The End Of Movies

Who Does That?

Lance Do–That’s Who


I Have No Idea—Just Seems Important to Me

Matter of Respect

Keyakizaka46 – Eccentric (English Subbed)


“Weird” Al Yankovic – Amish Paradise

I’m Sad. I Just Wanna Take-A-Piss–Is this Too Much To Ask? Alas, My Old Worn-Out Prostate Sez: “No! Forget That. Don’t even think about it..”

Maybe I’ll Let You Piss On Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas.

Have a Nice Day Y’all. Ya He’ah?”

I should lie down

(for a spell)

I just opened my last can of Copenhagen

Bonus Onus On US:

Cred: Chris Ledoux-Copenhagen