Fuck Me! My Mind is Blown! He Drinks at Home Now Most Nights With the TV on and all the house lights Left Up Bright

“I’m gonna blow this damn candle out.

I don’t want nobody comin’ over to my table;

I got nothin’ to talk to anybody about.”

***

Oh Screw It! I’m an Alcoholic.

At Least I know what I am

and who I am.

And who I am Not

But I Yam What I Yam:

I’m Popeye The Drunken Sailor-Man.

Who Among You,

Could’ve Seen That One Coming?

Hahaha!

And all the house lights left up bright.

Happy  New Year.

“I’m gonna blow this damn candle out.”

“Holidays are hard on some guys.”

I stole that line from a favorite movie of mine, loosely based on a wonderful play by some guy. Oh yeah, David Mamet “Sexual Perversity in Chicago”

Which I first saw performed live by a group of travelling U.S. actors and actresses when I was in Sinai, SFM (and after the performance I had all of the cast and crew in my hooch and we all got hopelessly stoned on hash and drunk on scotch) 

In the Sinai, and then saw it, many years later, the fucking movie… wait for it… in Chicago, drunk but not stoned.

The Navy had random piss tests back then—for drugs–they gave not zero fucks about your alcohol blood level. That is just my Navy. How it was…  maybe still is.

Who knows? Who even cares these days?

When I saw the movie in Shy – Town, It had been bastardized into… “About Last Night.”

The Movie Gave The Play a

Fucking Happy Ending!

They Really Ruined it With That!

Fukkin’ Hollywood!

HOLLYWOOD! Up-Dated!! Re-Visit This One Y’all. It is fucking Awesome! The Vids! The Vids! The Vids! Ignore My Prose! Watch the Videos!

“Travesty” as a word…

“Cynical and drunk?”

“May-hap: C’est moi?”

“Huh?”

“What did he say?”

*******

Honestly, when it comes down to it, we all die alone… boring someone in some dark café.

“Jesus Christ! Lance! Some happy thoughts for the New Year?”

“Naw, been there…”

“You’re either too stupid to die, or too stupid to live.”

“Yes. Both.”

I like to think that I only write for me.

That is some vain fantasy. Or just a pleasant fiction.

I write to get bed, er… read.

I do.

I really do.

I am a “writer”

Or, at least, I think of me in that way.

And I love commas.

And I edit as I go.

Someone once said of “Lord Ernest” (Hemingway),

Someone said he said, “Write Drunk. Edit Sober.”

Now, personally, I think that apocryphal, but what do I know?

Yet, I am going with it.

(at least the write drunk part)

Now, back to Joni:

“Love can be so sweet.”

“Go look at your eyes.”

“Drink up now. It’s gettin’ on time to close.”

Some footnote:

Oh, and by the way, The Last time I saw Richard was Great Lakes, Recruit Training Command, ’86,  and he told me… something about staying alive while with the Navy SEALs in SO CAL, just before he went to Florida and committed suicide,  because He could not handle the Pressure that was (then) the U.S. Navy Nuclear Submarine Program. Thank God I was in Coronado with the SEALs.

And So Safe

So safe.

I miss Richard.

He was braver than me.

And nobody ever committed suicide while at BUD/s (Navy SEAL) training: we were just all too busy, you see, just ‘busily’ trying to stay the fuck alive.

“Richard got married to a figure-skater–post-humorlessly.”

Somehow, I live.

His name was “Richard” and he was a real person.

Yeah, I left  out the tag line (on purpose):

“when you gonna get back on your feet?”

**********

If you happenstance to swerve into this blog, and catch yourself saying,

“Gee! This guy is cool.”

Don’t.

(Just don’t.)

Because I ain’t.

I’m an asshole.

Bona-Fide

Asshole.

And I have references

But if’n you do, Do not then… follow the comments.

Just don’t fuckin’ do it. 

Save some:  them, them the good memories.

And walk on by.

(You just knew I had to.)

Dionne Warwick:

Wonderful,

Beautiful

Classy Lady

Sorry Kids, But I Had to Re-Post This. It Has ‘Almost’ All Of My Favorite Women, Self-Contained Within. “Lo Siento Mi Vida.”

I Am Gonna Take A Wild Guess Here,

But I Miss Having a Good-Hearted Woman

In-My-Life

Cred. Who The Hell D’ya Think?

*****

“TRIGGER WARNING!

This Post is Obnoxious & Insulting,

But It Accurately Depicts My Frame of Reference

At The Time I Wrote it.

I NEVER Lie to Y’all. –Updated! Had to Add Some Linda at The End–Cannot Believe I Forgot! This Post is all Fucked UP. Guess What? I No Longer Dare to CArE! Don’t GIvE A sHiT! fUcK IT! “Hearts are like AssHoles; eVer’one gOts one!”

Wasted Time

I Honestly Don’t Know Why I Waste My Finite Time. I Pull Together All Kinds of Poignant Videos. No One Watches.

God Forbid Someone Comments!

Takes Some Time

Drops a Thin Dime

Says

“Thank You! You Made Me Laugh!”

Oh Hell NO! Cannot Be Bothered To Spend A Fuckin’ Mouse Clik!

Fuck All Y’all!

And I Sincerely Mean That!

“All The Y’alls, Y’all”

Vid Share Cred: Chris Spags

Content Creator: K Ryan Jones (I think)

And of Course The Mesmerizin’

Connie Britton

George Don’t Give A Shit

He is My Spirit Animal

George Ref’ d The Magic Words!

He SAID

“Bobby Darin”

“Mack the Knife”

Anyone who reads me, knows most of my shit is bullshit about women! is about women–my relationships with women. I love women. This is well-documented.

I have broken lots of hearts.

Lots of good woman hearts.

My heart, my one one, my only one, has been broken too.

I should take better care of it.

Try to Look out for it.

More.

More earnestly.

More diligently.

Less carelessly.

In Short: I am a Slut

But Only a Slut For Linda

“Heart Like A Wheel”

Heart Broke.

More times than I wish to recount.

But.

I always manage

to sailor on.

And I will.

Continue.

For

Ever.

This is cruel.

And

BRILLIANT

Billie Holiday

A National Treasure

Tragic Ophilia

Cred for Vid: jakuerika

Billie H is the broad singing; but you knew that already….

*********

And crude.

But it is how I choose to survive.

I “Honestly” have no choice in the matter.

Yeah! I’m An Asshole!

Streetcar My Desire

*********

If you do not get my sense of humor, you are in the wrong place.

And you need to leave.

Now.

Right Now.

Right Fuckin’ Now

And In Haste

Hasta La Vista!

Lo Siento Mi Vida

Linda!

In My Humble Opinion, This is One Of The Most Beautiful, Wonderful Songs Ever Performed and Performed By The Most Beautiful, Talented Woman in the World

(Sorry Joni–Forgive me later–I’ll buy you lunch–I Promise.)

Life (And Death) Die Mutha-Fuckah Die! Just Fucken Die! “Suicide is Painless” (So They Say)

But who is “They?’

No Credible witnesses from beyond the grave to Interview

***

Ophelia

It would be so easy then….

Carly!

“Now We Are Old With Debts and Regrets”

Die Mutha-Fuckah! Die Mutha-Fuckah!

Die!

Just Fuckin’ Die!

Just Fuckin’ Die! Already!

Do The World A Solid!

***

Best Scene EVER!

I Do NOT Deserve The Life I Have Been Given, Been Blessed To Have Had.

I’m A Self-Centered Asshole.

I Hate Lance!!

Suicide Is Painless

The Game of life is Hard

To Play-

“I’m Gonna Lose it Anyway”

I need…. Never F&cking Look down! You May Drown

Lo Siento Mi Vida

Some Self-Sorrow Bull-Shite

I’m Sorry For My Life

And All My Ex-Wifes

This Post is Bull-Shite

But It Accurately Depicts My Mood At The Time I Wrote it. I NEVER Lie to Y’all. –Updated! Had to Add Some Linda at The End–

Cannot Believe I Forgot! This Post is all Fucked UP. Guess What? I No Longer Dare to CArE!

Don’t GIvE A sHiT! fUcK IT! “Hearts are like AssHoles; eVer’one gOts one!”

Wasted Time

I Honestly Don’t Know Why I Waste My Finite Time. I Pull Together All Kinds of Poignant Videos. No One Watches.

God Forbid Someone Comments!

Takes Some Time

Drops a Thin Dime

Says

“Thank You! You Made Me Laugh!”

Oh Hell NO! Cannot Be Bothered To Spend A F^ckin’ Mouse Clik!

Vid Share Cred: Chris Spags

Content Creator: K Ryan Jones (I think)

And of Course The Mesmerizin’

Connie Britton

George Don’t Give A Shit

He is My Spirit Animal

it’s Important in life to not give a shit”

George Ref’ d The Magic Words!

He SAID

“Bobby Darin”

“Mack the Knife”

Anyone who reads me, knows most of my shit is bullshit about women! is about women–my relationships with women. I love women. This is well-documented.

I have broken lots of hearts.

Lots of good woman hearts.

My heart, my one one, my only one, has been broken too.

I should take better care of it.

Try to Look out for it.

More.

More earnestly.

More diligently.

Less carelessly.

Heart Broke.

More times than I wish to recount.

But.

I always manage

to sailor on.

And I will.

Continue.

For

Ever.

This is cruel.

And

BRILLIANT

Billie Holiday

A National Treasure

Tragic Ophilia

Cred for Vid: jakuerika

Billie H is the broad singing; but you knew that already….

*********

And crude.

But it is how I choose to survive.

I honestly have no choice in the matter.

Yeah! I’m An Asshole!

Streetcar My Desire

*********

If you do not get my sense of humor, you are in the wrong place.

And you need to leave.

Now.

Right Now.

Right Fuckin’ Now

And In Haste

Hasta La Vista!

Lo Siento Mi Vida

Linda!

In My Humble Opinion, This is One Of The Most Beautiful, Wonderful Songs Ever Performed and Performed By The Most Beautiful, Talented Woman in the World

(Sorry Joni–Forgive me later–I’ll buy you lunch–I Promise.)

Someday–One Day–I Will Properly Write This Right & Right This GD Ship: A Story of Attempted Suicide and of a Woman (Of Course)

My Father Had An Entire Wall Of Displayed pistols on the wall of his ‘Study’–

All Loaded of Course.

One day I selected a .45 cal–Cocked it-

Stuck the barrel into my mouth, finger in the hair trigger...

Need I Go On?

No?

Didn’t Think so

After all, I am still here

Needless to say, I did Not Pull the trigger–

Guess I lost my nerve

It only Hurts for a Second So They Say–And Who Are ‘They’ Anyway & How Do “They” Know? And How Can “They” Tell Us?

Via Ouija Board?

Don’t Think So.

Guess I’ll Have To Find Out For Myself.

*****

“The Game of Life is Hard to Play: I’m gonna lose it Anyway.”

If’n You want to hear, Let me know. And I will write it

Just Kiddin’

******

*****

Why Was Lance Contemplating Suicide? You Ask.

Because of This Girl:

Hahaha!

You Thought I Was Gonna Doxx The Real Her!

Wrong Thought Marine

It Was Over This One

Pictured Below

Hahaha!

As If!

Do NOT Look At This! Let Alone READ It! TRIGGER WARNING! This Post is Obnoxious & Insulting, But It Accurately Depicts My Mood At The Time I Wrote it. I NEVER Lie to Y’all. –Updated! Had to Add Some Linda at The End–Cannot Believe I Forgot! This Post is all Fucked UP. Guess What? I No Longer Dare to CArE! Don’t GIvE A sHiT! fUcK IT! “Hearts are like AssHoles; eVer’one gOts one!”

Wasted Time

I Honestly Don’t Know Why I Waste My Finite Time. I Pull Together All Kinds of Poignant Videos. No One Watches.

God Forbid Someone Comments!

Takes Some Time

Drops a Thin Dime

Says

“Thank You! You Made Me Laugh!”

Oh Hell NO! Cannot Be Bothered To Spend A Fuckin’ Mouse Clik!

Fuck All Y’all!

And I Sincerely Mean That!

Vid Share Cred: Chris Spags

Content Creator: K Ryan Jones (I think)

And of Course The Mesmerizin’

Connie Britton

George Don’t Give A Shit

He is My Spirit Animal

George Ref’ d The Magic Words!

He SAID

“Bobby Darin”

“Mack the Knife”

Anyone who reads me, knows most of my shit is bullshit about women! is about women–my relationships with women. I love women. This is well-documented.

I have broken lots of hearts.

Lots of good woman hearts.

My heart, my one one, my only one, has been broken too.

I should take better care of it.

Try to Look out for it.

More.

More earnestly.

More diligently.

Less carelessly.

Heart Broke.

More times than I wish to recount.

But.

I always manage

to sailor on.

And I will.

Continue.

For

Ever.

This is cruel.

And

BRILLIANT

Billie Holiday

A National Treasure

Tragic Ophilia

Cred for Vid: jakuerika

Billie H is the broad singing; but you knew that already….

*********

And crude.

But it is how I choose to survive.

I honestly have no choice in the matter.

Yeah! I’m An Asshole!

Streetcar My Desire

*********

If you do not get my sense of humor, you are in the wrong place.

And you need to leave.

Now.

Right Now.

Right Fuckin’ Now

And In Haste

Hasta La Vista!

Lo Siento Mi Vida

Linda!

In My Humble Opinion, This is One Of The Most Beautiful, Wonderful Songs Ever Performed and Performed By The Most Beautiful, Talented Woman in the World

(Sorry Joni–Forgive me later–I’ll buy you lunch–I Promise.)