When I was a wee chile, tryin’ to survive in Fremont CA, Mother dragged me to theater, to screen “The Greatest Story Ever Told.”
I was NOT properly impressed.
Fu*k u Mom! Just Kiddin’!! I LOVED My Mother–Very Dearly–And As Previously Reported: My Mother Was The Original ‘Hippy-Chick’– She called herself a “Christian” But In Reality, She was an Atheist. Precisely why I Loved my Mother; I was an atheist, since I was first born, or hatched, Your choice.
The Greatest Story Ever Told (If told at Woodstock)
And OnCE A’GIN” fUK u word-de-Pressed! i CANnOT DeDIite This! Why Not? Why The Fuk NOT? Fuk U Word-Disstressed!
I have spilled’d way too
Much Virtual Ink on California Yeah!
I spent Above My ‘Income’
No Breakin’ News Nor Revelation
To Be Discovered There!
Yeah! I once spent a Night in The Hotel Del…Cost me a Month’s Navy Pay… Well worth it, even tho I DID NOT Get Laid… Story of my Life! Still Worth it.
“Welcome to Hotel Hell”
Back When, Way Back When!
When I was in SEAL Train’in’
The Hotel Del Did NOT
I LoVe Her!
Almost HALF as Much as I Love TEXAS!
But Not Quite.
Aerosmith – Crazy
Loved it. Hated it. Few decades ago I could truthfully say, “Hey! I’ve spent half my life in California.” (See ThisOr This)
Now I can say, “Hey! I’ve spent most of my life in Dangerous Desolate Places.” (Middle East & East Texas) That worm did turn some. (Go Here or There)
I really don’t care at this point
As a Native Texan, I am supposed to always hate California and yes, Yes to all you Texans out there: I know this. I get it. Put the rope down.
Yet I more love than hate California.
In California I learned to appreciate music, art, science, literature, hippies, beaches and blondes. My first kiss was not in California, but I didn’t miss that milestone by much–In California.
In Texas I learned to appreciate drankin’ whiskey and beer , smokin’ dope, playin’ football, chasin’ cheerleaders, and Raisin’ Hell.
Arriving home to Texas late 1968 folks made fun of my ‘California Accent’ if there even is such a thing. (There were no Valley Girls in the Sixties as far as I know). My ‘accent’ was ‘just the way normal people talked’ as far as I was concerned. Texans sounded funny to me (Blasphemy!)
My Attitude Adjustment didn’t take long to take.
In California I was a Little League Baseball Star. In Texas no one gave two shits about baseball. I had to learn football. Not that that was necessarily a bad thing, but I had all those baseball skills which were not worth a cup of spit in Texas.
I love Texas and don’t get me wrong. But once in a while, when I see a photo or a news bit showing San Francisco, or San Diego, or a beach, or a blonde… I hear this guysinging:
Sometimes I even hear this blonde singing:
And I tear up. (Just a little bit) but then I throw on some Bob Wills and Remember Who I am.
And thus remembering, I go out and buy a caseof Lone Star Long Necks and listen to this guy:
And I Thank The Spirit of Sam Houston I Am A Texan.
Shit! This needs to be placed further down, but WordPress is Fukking Stupid. So I am forced to place it here:
Git a Rope
“Two Four Letter Words And A Preposition”
P.S., the Fonts in this post ar’ all fucked up. I’m too lazy to fix them. I hope yu can read. If’n Ya wanna….PPS This Post is Rather ZObnoxious and Insulting. If Your Skin Be Thin, Don’t Read It. Just go somewhere else.
Judge Aaron Albamiser& Lenny Bruce: “Thick Fingers and a Homemade Glass Eye.” “A Red-Headed Junk-yard Jew.”
He Said “Blah Blah Blah”
Friends, Romans, (Progressive Texans) & Others:
(Don’t some of Y’all hate to be classified as ‘Others’?
Smacks of Intellectual Racism to me, but that’s just me.)
Don’t you fain to disclaim?
Me no Alamo!
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
How the fuck does it feel?
To be on the long side of the short fence?
Lend Me Your Beers!
(And yer FB password. Trust Me. I’m with the Government.)
Here is your (once again belated) Daily Lenny:
And Thanks for Listening, wherever you are.
And now I am gonna step out on a limb and say this:
I am with my Brothers and Sisters in the Ukraine.
Keep your eyes on the prize.
(And I do not speak that flippantly; I mean it. The whole world is watching)
Oh, and thanks for listening (Did I say that already?)
Well hell! Appreciation can never be over-played (if it is sincere)
In this case, rest assur’d it is (“Hey Madge?! Did he mean ‘over-played’ or ‘sincere’? Can never get a ‘read’ on this schmuck.”)
Cheers to all.
And if you’d get a kick reading/hearing more about it, go here: