WordPress Never Fails In Its Un-Dying Effort To Piss Me The Fuck Off. In Its Un-Dying, Always Trying, Never Failing, Never Falling, Perpetual Mission To PISS-ME-OFF!

Hate WP

Everyday Is A Brand-New Adventure with WP.

I shall not go gentle into that good night

Yet, I Continue go gentle into that good night To Fight.

Straight-Up, I apologize for my profanity.

But comma this is an adult site.

And ergo I am a sailor

And WP Tramples On-My-Last Nerve.

Simple Edits Are Impossible

Fuk Yu WordPress! Why Cannot You Make Shit That Works? I Pay Four-Hun-Dread Quid Per Year for This Shite? Fuckin’ Top-‘Tear’ Fuckin’ WP?

ALL THE GD BELLS AND WHISTLES???? You DUMB-ASS Mother-Fu*kin’ Cock-suckers Make Me Wanna Spit—In Yer Face! Really! No bullshit!

As Y’all May have surmised by now, WP has pissed me off yet again. Sorry for my profanity, but this is an adult site and I am a sailor

Try Me WP! I swear to God! Y’all Could Fu*k Up A Wet Dream! “My Humble Tribute To The Highwomen” & Johnny Cash

Hey WordPress!

Got a telegram for YOU!

An’ Ya Know Whut WP?

As Ron White Famouslously Sez:

“You Caint Fix

STUPID!”

Cred: Ron White (Duh!)

Author’s Note: Y’all wanna know why I am still up-in-Worpress’s Ass?

Be-Fuckin’ Cause

EVER’TIME

I try to

Upload,

Download,

Sideways Load,

Up-Side-down-load

Any Kind of LOAD

WP Gives Me ATTITUDE!

That’s Fuckin’ Why!

***

No Words:

HIGHWOMEN!

SEXY BEAUTIFUL PERFECTION!

***

I only recently discovered these gals via KETR—The Local NPR Radio Station here in Commerce—Run by The University. This is the Program that was playing— “Notably Texan.” My FAVORITE For Obvious Reasons.

“With the lofty mandate to curate the culture of Texas music, Notably Texan host Matt Meinke scours the state’s singers and songwriters, stars or not, and hand-selects the purest cuts of well-marbled entertainment for your daily listening pleasure.

The tempo, the style, the instrumentation, the genre – it doesn’t matter. The rules are simple – the songs need to have a Texas connection. Rock, rap, country, reggae, electronica, dub step, house, R&B – If the music helps to build an audio tapestry worthy of the Lone Star State, it’s got a shot on Notably Texan.”

I was on my way back from one of my ‘Booze-Run’ Missions when this song came on the program. I had to pull over to properly focus on it—This is how impressed and captivated and enamored I instantly was…

Try this version

It may not take three DAYS to Load!

And Hey!

WordPress!

Go GET

Fucked!

Use This

to

Fuk

Yerself!

Heaven May Be A Honky-Tonk

“There’s a choir singing in a southern accent, a fiddle in the band
There’s a “Hallelujah!” on the lips of every dying man
Mama, don’t you cry when they’re dead and gone
Jesus, he loves his sinners and heaven is a honky tonk”

(I do not know who The Rather Large Black Broad Who Joined The Girls on the Stage is–Trust Me: I looked–But Obviously, She Added added Value–Bravo For HER!)

And Bravo To The Highwomen!

Yeah, I am a ‘Closet Liberal’ And an ‘Out-of-the-Closet-Redneck’— And An Extremely Pro-Feminist–My Love of And For of Women is Very-Well Documented. I Never pull My Punches.

“Go Rocky!”

Yes, I am ‘complicated’–But Y’all knew this already.

Love me, or HATE Me. I really Don’t Give a Shit!

You do YOU.

And Embrace Your Opinions.

But only if You are Sincere.

And HONEST!

I am, if nothing else, HONEST!

I’m as Real as Real Can Get!

What You See, Is Exactly What You Get!

“The Highwomen are the rarest of country supergroups: a quartet who came together at the height of their popularity and creative powers, not when they were settling into their legacy. In that regard, the quartet of Brandi Carlile, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires, and Natalie Hemby differ from their knowing namesake the Highwaymen, a band Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and Kris Kristofferson formed in 1985, just as they started to drift down the charts.

When the Highwomen appeared in 2019, every member of the quartet was at a peak in her respective roots niche. Singer/songwriter

Carlile was fresh off winning three Grammy Awards and Morris was at the vanguard of country-pop, while Shires’ cult was growing thanks to the atmospheric Americana of To the Sunset and Hemby’s reputation as a country songwriter was at a peak, thanks to her contributions to Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour and Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings.”

Article Credit: ALLMUSIC

BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL Beauty

Pulling up the floors and changin’ out the curtains
Some of us are saints and some of us are surgeons
Made in God’s image, just a better version
And breakin’ every Jello mold

And when we love someone, we take ’em to heaven
And if the shoe fits, we’re gonna buy 11
How we get it done, we like to keep ’em guessing
But secretly, we all know.”

I AM STARSTRUCK

FUN FACT: My Best GF, Highschool Sweetheart, once said to me, and I quote:

“Lance, You are so easily Starstruck.”

I had to beg to differ, but she was at least half-right–when I see talent combined with Beauty, I fall victim–it is a pleasant fall and an admitted failing of mine–I relish and truly appreciate people who add value and meaning to my life.

Enriches My So-Called Life

And Just For Reference:

I do hope Y’all Enjoyed Watching/Reading This Post As Much As I Loved Putting It Together.

LET’S JUST CALL IT “A LABOUR OF LOVE,” IF YOU WILL.

Cheers Y’all!

JUNE CARTER NEVER GOT THE FAME SHE DESERED

WITHOUT HER

THERE WOULD NEVER BEEN ANY

FUCKIN’

JOHNNY CASH!

Thanks to John Coyote for turnning me on to this one!

https://johncoyote.wordpress.com/

***

Awright!

I’m ‘Over’ My Rant for Now

But WP!

Don’t git too comfortable!

I ain’t Near done wid you yet.

I just needed to come up for some fucking air!

Becuz, quite frankly,

YOU

STINK

TO HIGH HEAVEN!

I FUCKING

ADORE

REESE!

She Lights

My

FIRES!

***

AND BY THE MOTHER-FUCKER WAY!

HAY

(SEED)!

WHY IS MY INTERNET SO SLOW?!

I HAVE FIVE FUCKIN’ BARS

AND AM ON A RUNNING ON A

FOUR FUKKIN’

THOUSAND DOLLAR LAPTOP!

(No Bullshit! That’s what I paid for it! It has been to Iraq with me)

CHRIST-ON-A FUKKIN’ CRACKER!!!

What We Have Here… Failure To Communicate… WP is Far Beyond Stupid. “Frustration Nation”–This Is Where I Reside–There’s No Place Like Home

And Abide

It, It is Is Natural Disaster

Had a train, of thought, recently

About a Tale of Two Cities

Both Named Paris..

He went to Paris

And Scre”w Thar Poooch!

***

“Oh My Goodness!

We Got Ourselves a Natural Disaster”

Or A Failure to Communicate!

Oh and by the way, fuck spellin’ an’ The Punctuation Police

sstupid!

You’ve Got to Give a Little. To Get A Little. Kindness is the Best Cure for all ills. Try It; It Works Like A Charm. Every Time.

 

Of course Glen was full of shit, Just Tanya Tucker

But I do love this song.

***

To get a little Kindness

Give a little of yer self…

Your reward??

Heaven.

Blogging philosophy:

Lance is Broken. Shit-A-Brick!: “Wonderful World of Worthy Writers.”

***

“Visit. Comment. (sincerely comment) Read. Read. Read. And Then Read some more.”

Then comment some more.

Rinse and repeat.

Then the folks will come.

Works ever’ time.

And… it’s good for the soul.

Good for Our Community of Souls, some lost, some found, and all manner of in between, but there are no more appreciative for time spent than writers / bloggers. 

So, therefore, Give a Little of Yourself to your lost and found, and searching fellow souls.

The Divine Miss ‘M’

Bette Midler – The Glory of Love

(We love her)

Thank You for your visit and for your time.

The DEVINE Miss M:

I Am Trying Desperate Hard To Not Be An Ass-Hole. I Do Fear I May Be Failing In This Noble Enterprise.

“The hardest thing a Man can do is to go against his own nature.”

–LAM

***

But It Is A Work-In-Progress. Please ‘Bare’ Bear? W/Me More Over Rover, PPL Sent I. I’m drunk In Spite of What I Wrote Below,

I Really Am A Fan of Bobby Darin… “Ah So! Metta Mook.” What Does That Even Mean? Honestly, I Don’t Care. It Works For Me.

Who Am I Kidding?
No-One Ever Calls Me
(Unless They want Money)

I’m Sorry Y’all, but WordPress Is Fukkking Up This Post!

Believe Me!

I’m Peddling As Fast As I Can!

*****

Ref: https://texantales.com/2021/12/30/fuk-me-i-am-tryin-real-hard-to-be-happy/

*****

Mack et Al

Ladies,

Want Lance In Your Life?

“The Line Forms To the Right.”

Cred For Vid Share: shazi52 (And Bobby D.)

“Beyond the Sea”

Cred For Shared Vid: NRRArchives

********

Scrazy Spacey

As Bobby Daring

“The King of Cool”

“Could It Be Our Boy’s Done Somethin’ Rash?”

Yes. It is in the Realm Of Possibility

***

So Kevin Got ‘Cancelled’

For So Stupid ‘Indiscretions’

Ask Me How Many Fuks I Give.

Go AHEAD

I Love The Art;

Don’t Mean I Necessarily Love The ‘Artist’

*****

Ed. Note:

I’m Done Screwin’ Around

With This Post!

WordPress!

You win!

(For Now)

And, Once Yet Again, Thanks to Word-Depressed, I Cannot Properly Edit this One. I’m Shocked An’ Awed. F*ck You WP!

I Just Wanted to Add Credit to Alanis Morissette

“Please Try this One. It’s F*ckin’ Funny! Input/Output: Electricity! (With Apologies to Joni Mitchell)”

This Post is all F*cked Up.

Thank YOU Word-Press & Go To F*ck Yourself

JONI!

Creds: JoniJourney

“They’re Not Gonna Fix It Up Too Easy”

“Break-Down of the Century”

The below is a comment I made over at Aussa’s Blog (a blog I can never say enough good things about), in response to one of her hilarious posts: Ridiculous On The Job Injuries

 http://aussalorens.com/2014/07/10/ridiculous-on-the-job-injuries/

Her prompt:  What’s the most ridiculous way you’ve injured yourself?

***

Back in the Middle Ages (1980’s) when I owned my tropical fish store in Nacogdoches (Yes, That ‘Oldest Town in Texas’),

I was trying to clean the front glass of one of my retail tanks (ten gallon) which housed an electric catfish (like an electric eel, but with higher amps and voltage).

I was standing on a stool as ‘Benny Franklin’s’ tank was on the third tier—you just know I had to name him—since I’d had him ‘in-stock’ for months (All the East Texans were interested in were guppies, goldfish, and ‘crud-eaters’).

Anyhow, as I was keeping a watchful eye on Benny, lest I inadvertently swerve my paw/forearm into him, a customer walked up to me, inquiring (rather vociferously) about where were the crud eaters (Yes, I have posted about crud-eaters),

I took my eye off the prize (my arm) just for-a-second. Yep: Bam! Brushed Benny and received a shock which knocked me off the stool and flat on my ass.

Input: Output Electricity

Malapterurus electricus- shock yer ass-officus

Embarrassed? What do you think?

I was supposedly a ‘professional aquarist.’ Apparently not-on-that-day. The potential crud-eater customer just looked down at me and announced dryly that she would try ‘Ben Franklin’s’ (coincidence? or irony?)

or better still Wal*Mart up the road. Guess I did not answer her query quick enough as I was taking my own sweet time in my sincere effort to start breathing again.

True Story: you can take my word for it.

Cheers to you Aussa,

Always my pleasure to visit y’all, and glean inspiration for future posts (sincerely).

–Lance

Video Credit: JoniJourney

If I Have Already Re-Posted This And It O-Friends You, You Are Cordially Invited To Kiss My Azz, J/K! I Am NOT Well. I Do Not Feel So Swell… I Will Be Dying Very Soon. “Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance”

(With Apologies to Robert M. Pirsig)

Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races!

A cheap thrill sensation
Brings joy and elation
With so much emoji
We’ll never be lonely

But cheap thrills ain’t lasting
Only forecasting
A sugary crash
Just a quick flash

It’s comments we want
No matter the font
Comments are golden
They fling the door open

Provide inspiration
Never inflation
True comments auspicious
And very propitious

Writers need feedback
Not smiley Prozac
If compelled to emoji
Don’t do that only

Take some small time
Drop a thin dime
Comment away
Make someone’s day

*****

(Yeah, I actually wrote that shit above)

Back in the day when I used to be a ‘writer’.

Years and Beers & Tears ago…

Cred: BlondieMusicOfficial

I’m off to the Rodeo!

Catch Y’all On The Flip Flop!

Rodeo Song, by Garry Lee and the Showdown

Cred for Vid Share: Manosphere Environment


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFlDbTySKx1uRx4R50w-9eA