I Must Re-Post This Because It Makes Me sad & And I Love My Pity-Parties. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.”–W. Shakespeare (this is really long–please try to slog thru it)

In 1971 when my step-sister Madelyn and I were fourteen and thirteen respectively, my parents would often go out of town on the weekends. My father and stepmother seemed to always have some magic convention or gathering to attend in Dallas, Houston, Kansas City, or any number of other venues.

My father knew all the local high school kids from his directing of the senior plays every year. Two of the former graduates, Ronnie and Doug, then about twenty years old, remained very good friends of my father and particularly Ronnie, (who was Peanut’s Uncle).

My father decided that Madelyn and I needed a ‘baby-sitter’ while he and Gloria were off on their long weekends, so they paid Doug and Ronnie to look after us.

Now mind you, Madelyn and I were both pretty certain we were over-mature for our age and could easily fend for ourselves, but we loved having two “big brothers” to help us throw the greatest parties in the history of Honey Grove while under their tutelage.

We used Marcom Manor as our venue of course and were always in a rush to get the house back into some semblance of order before the folks returned, usually on a Sunday, but occasionally on a Monday or Tuesday.

During Labor Day Weekend of 1971 my parents were off to a big convention in Houston and we had a great party planned for Sunday the Fifth of September.

We were to have ‘The Mother of All Parties’ out at Lake Coffeemill, north of Honey Grove. (The party was going to serve double duty for me, as my fourteenth birthday was just five days away.)  Right up until the night before, I had no date lined up for this all-day Blow-Out, and I was in a panic.

Continue reading

Yeah. I’m Just Screwin’ Around. “Copin’ With Hagen” A cruel Miss-Stress! I am so Tired. I Caint Walk. My legs have Stopped Working.

“WARNING: THIS PRODUCT CAN CAUSE GUM DISEASE AND MOUTH CANCER”

Now they tell me

I may be properly fucked

(Well at least it don’t cause WuFlu)

Chris Ledoux-Copenhagen:

How I live my life (But Y’all already know this):

Video compilation credit: biggestkkfan

I’m Really Having a Bad Day, Problem Today! I Miss My Sister! “Twisted Duet (Just One More Madelyn Memory…)” I Was in Denial for Years! Now, recently, the dark, stark realization washes over me, I cannot deal with this! I Miss My Sis! I Miss My Sister!

One Saturday night, Madelyn and I (And Jennifer Rambo)

Found ourselves standing before Daddy.

In His Study.

That Bitch Gloria

(My Step-Mom)

was there as Well.

Our ‘Mission’… was to procure/beg money.

Maddy and Jennifer did this Joni (as a) Duet and Perfection two-part Harmony:

a capella!

“Twisted”

Street Cred For The Vid: JoniJourney

(It was Brilliant!)

It worked.

But Madelyne never failed to understand / underestimate her powers

****

(They Got Ten bucks.
Each.
And left.
)

As Madelyn was hitting the ‘Exit Door,’

(With her combined fortune of twenty bucks)

she cast a ‘sideways’ glance at me over her shoulder and grinned, not un-like a Cheshire Kitty.

I knew exactly what she said, un-said:

Try to follow my act Asshole. Love Ya! Mean it! Good Luck!

Bitch!!!

********

That Bitch Gloria then looked me up-and-down, said,

“Well, Lance? What can YOU do?”

I wanted to say,

“I Can Strangle you in your sleep Bitch!”

“I can strangle you in your sleep.”

I really wanted to say that!

But of course, I didn’t say that.

So, I said, “I Cain’t sing or dance; I just want ten bucks.”

Daddy smiled at me.

Pulled out his wallet again, gave me a ‘tenner’—and said,

“Here you go Son. Be careful.”

That Bitch Gloria was not amused.

But I was.

As I exited Stage Right.

Smartly.

**************

I miss Madelyn so much.

And I miss Daddy.

Of Course.

*******

Some day, one day, I will empty gallons of virtual ink… about my father.

But I am not yet ready.

Not Today

(The Font is Too Damn Small–Hope Y’all Can Read it–I Tried To Fix it, But I Grew Bored.) “I Miss Peanut So Much! He was My Very Best Friend. In Keeping With TTales & Hieroglyphs Virtual Ink Green Earth Policy…”

We would like to Recycle This:

Hauling Hay For Fun & Profit:

It’s been a while since I have written about Peanut but he has been on my mind of late. A few of us in Honey Grove during the Seventies, not being afraid of hard work and also not being afraid of making good money would haul hay during the summers, brutal hot honest work.

This was back when those infernal ‘round bales’ were just making their appearance, threatening to put all the ‘square bale’ haulers out of business. (The bales were not geometrically square of course, but ‘rectangular bales’ just didn’t have a ring to it.)

Hauling hay was a two-man operation: one man would drive the truck guiding the hay loader along the rows of bales. The other would stand on the back of the flatbed and stack.

Once the truck was loaded the duo would head to the barn (or more often than not, an old depression era house which served as a hay barn.) One guy would throw the bales off the truck and the other would drag and stack. Return to the hay field and repeat, but with the rolls reversed for fairness.

Squarebales

Generally, but not always, one guy would be the truck owner and the other just a hired hand. I was a hired hand behind a famous hay-hauler named Nubbin. He paid me a nickel a bale; not bad money considering hauling a thousand bales a day (our usual goal) would net me fifty bucks tax free.

If we hauled in prairie grass fields (which always had bumble bees) he would pay me two cents extra to stack every load. Nubbin was frightened of bumble bees. I wasn’t.

If the ‘haul’ was from a hay field close to a proper drive through hay barn, we could sometimes haul fifteen hundred bales a day. But more often we had to drive a few miles and stack hay in an old house, dragging the bales through the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, past the old bathroom, the wasp nests, dead skunks, eventually stacking hay in the back bedroom and filling up the place as we worked forward through what was once the pride and joy of some dirt farmer from the Dust Bowl days.

WildoradoTexasFarmhouse

Peanut was hauling using his uncle Hungry’s truck. Hungry was the most celebrated hay hauler in North East Texas, a real legend. Even Nubbin would admit this. There was no man had hauled more hay than Hungry. Memory fails as to when Hungry actually hung up his hay hooks for the last time, but Peanut was eager to take up The Legend (and the truck).

A word about your average hay truck in the fleet back then: There were none younger than about Nineteen Forty Eight. Most had gone through a several overhauls or downright re-building with new engines—well new to the truck anyway–held together with spit and bailing wire, and they did just fine.

Continue reading

Re-Post Because I Can! The Brilliance & & Just Pure D Funniness & Sagaciousness That is Julie Nolke! I love her more than CASH Money!

I have not the words to quantify nor describe how much value this wonderfully talented, brilliant woman has added to my life.

And she is Canadian!

NOT Texican!

Go Figger!

I LOVE her in spite of that!

Hahahaha!

***

Must Must Must Watch if Nothing Else!

Fucking Brilliance in a Box

Pandora’s Box!

***

You will have to ‘rewind’ this one because YouBoob is fucking stupid.

Sorry.

I cannot fix it.

And the file is 355 fucking megabytes to download.

Fuck Fuck Fuck!

***

***

Julie Nolke began her career as a YouTuber in 2011. She joined the video-sharing site on October 3 while she was still a university student. She began posting comedy videos on the channel which slowly began attracting more and more views over time.

She currently posts movie sketches and recipe tutorials and writes her script. Her videos have been viewed for more than 37 million times and her channel currently has more than 450 thousand subscribers. The number seems to be growing day by day as her videos are very funny and entertaining a lot of people all over the world.

Source:  Wiki Bio Worth

More Julie may be discovered here:

https://www.youtube.com/c/FeelingPeckish