Category Archives: Commerce

Insanity

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The more I listen to her, The More I love Her.

Current state of “Lance Mind:”

****

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

With his wife and five children

And his cabin fallin’ down

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

Your children are so hungry

That they don’t know how to smile

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

You walk the floor and wonder why

With every breath you breathe

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

If there’s anyone that knows

Is there anyone that cares?

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

Your empty pockets tell yuh

That you ain’t a-got no friend

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your wife’s screams are stabbin’ you

Like the dirty drivin’ rain

Your grass it is turning black

There’s no water in your well

Your grass is turning black

There’s no water in your well

You spent your last lone dollar

On seven shotgun shells

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That’s hangin’ on the wall

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That you’re holdin’ in your hand

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

Seven shots ring out

Like the ocean’s pounding roar

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

Somewhere in the distance

There’s seven new people born

****

I still hang onto hope for humanity.

Just a little humanity.

In Need of a Soft Woman

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Linda is so beautiful. A treasure to be treasured.

I feel really sick. I am not well. I wish now more than ever that I had a Good Woman to lay down beside me, wrap her arms around me, comfort me and hold me tight as I fall asleep. That is all I want at this moment: A kind, soft of nature, loving, caring gentle woman. (Linda would be my first choice, but Carly would suffice as well–if she be around and in town and not busy.) Or even my second wife: She was a good woman and she loved me. She was ‘soft’ and she truly loved me. Much more than I loved myself.

Sensitive/Not Sensitive (My Muse has left me—Permanent—She Returning to Olongapo City—Or Wherever-the-fuck she originated ‘From’—Good Riddance. She was always a pain in the ass anyhow. “Bon Voyage Bitch.”

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I’m fucking sensitive

And

Complicated.

(And I’d like to remain that way)

So if you are not ‘on-board’ with that, get the fuck outta my life.

Because I will wreck your train.

I will derail your ‘Vain Train.’

(I certainly have ‘derailed’ mine.)

I am a fucking “professional” at derailing trains.

Also pretty well-versed in Train-Wrecks

I will sink your fucking shit (and your ship).

I will burst yer bubble.

I will destroy your expectations and any aspirations you may have had for me.

I would not give you a dime.

But I would give you the shirt off my back.

Because I care.

About humans.

And my character flaw

Is that I am generous.

To a fault.

***

But In short:

I am an asshole.

(And I’d like to stay that way)

The only one forced to live with Lance is Lance.

(And of Course MS Muse)

And she ain’t  too fucking happy with her Indentured Servitude And she finally has had enuff.

But fuck her!

I paid her!

(Occasionally)

I fed her.

(Occasionally)

Never ‘bedded’ her.

(Wanted to)

I missed her before she even got into her car.

“I have done a curs’d thing.”

I don’t need to hit you over the head by dropping in the lyrics.

Pretty certain if you are HERE you appreciate SMART.

And if not.

Get the fuck off my page.

Go look for something mundane.

And have a nice fucking day.

(Oh! and please be careful with me.

I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.)

BREAKING NEWS: GNAT WAR ENDED–PEACE–IT IS A WONDERFUL THING.

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JUST KIDDING: THE WAR IS OVER.

I have made a fateful decision:

I have thrown in the Proverbial Towel

And surrendered to The Gnats

And sued for peace.

I am exhausted and wounded and SPENT.

I no longer have strength nor desire, nor resources (out of Raid) to continue this war.

I fucking sued for peace.

My Shame will forever dog me.

Until I die.               

But at least I am still alive.

As a prisoner of war.

Guess that is worth something.

I am being transported to the Gnat Gulag now….

“The Forgotten, Forsaken, Left-Behind Cantaloupe”

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Yes. Yes. Yes! I know! This is stupid, but I wanted to post something today while I continue to work on that “Great American Novel”

From FB: “Alright, since I am a lazy son-of-a-bitch and cannot seem to get my shit together and I NEEDED to PUBLISH something today, ANYTHING, I published this! Screw it! I will write something GOOD soon!”

Wait for it. (That Great American Novel)

It is coming!

***

Apparently in the not-too-distance-past I had purchased a cantaloupe.

During my recent trip to the Beer Store and as I was loading my purchase into the back seat of my Ford I saw something alive and pulsating on the floorboard. Scary shit. This thing was ALIVE! And probably NOT Happy!

Visibly shaken, I got behind the wheel and drove home as fast as I could. Glancing over my shoulder every so often, expecting to be attacked from the rear.

Damn the Speed Limits! This was an emergency!

Got home and quickly off-loaded my beer and wine and got THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

This should teach me A life lesson. Military Mantra: No Cantaloupes should ever be left behind. We just don’t roll that way.

I fucked up. I know this. I may need some tactical support to fix this one: Zombie Cantaloupe Apocalypse Now Situation

This has absolutely nothing relevant to add to this post but I love it (and I could not find any more cantaloupe songs to accentuate my point, so screw it)

Military Madness

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Three-Star General Woodbridge to the troops:

“Men, I suppose you’re wondering why I have assembled you here today…”

Shouts from the men: “We love you General!”

General Woodbridge continues, “Men, we have an important, almost impossible, very dangerous mission, but I know you brave men are up to the task at hand.”

Private Marcom pipes up, “What’s the Mission General?”

“Clean up this shit-hole and do it smartly.”

(Probably gonna take a lot of casualties)

“Over the top Boys!”