Category Archives: Commerce
UBH Chapter Two
So, after the ‘checking in’ process was sorted, I was led into the ‘Community Room’ and parked there.
“Wait! Where is the help I was promised?”
“The doctor will be about shortly”
“Okay. I’ll wait.”
I sat down in the corner and observed the people—my fellow in-mates.
The whole group seemed to be rather lethargic.
“What this group needs is a shot of Beam” I thought to myself.
As I was watching, I spied a young, Ornamental Girl who seemed to have some energy left in her body.
And I wanted to have some chat with her.
Turns out later, her name was ‘Ethel’ (fake name) but no way I could have known that at this time. I just wanted to get close to her.
And, eventually, I did.
Rest is history.
After about two hours of ‘inmate watching’ I sat down, introduced myself and announced ‘I am the smartest person in this room.’
Imagine my surprise when the laughter hit me like a slow bullet.
But ‘Ethel,’ ‘ET’ that was her nic…. Sat down beside me…
Thus began yet another unrequited love affair…
More to come…
She is not Chinese, but I could not find any Cambodian-American songs.
This will have to suffice.
I Am Doll Parts, Or… “How I Came to Live in The Shit Hole Garage Apartment Which was not Really a Garage Apartment, but only a Shit-Hole Underneath a Garage Apartment.”
“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”
Yes, I’m In-Love With Courtney Love.
“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”
Yes, I Know
Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.
Madelyn My Sister (step-sister)
“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?”
was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.
I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.
Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.
Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm’ (just like this place) to be sure.
How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.
And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).
Kitty Muster: Roll Call! Fall in! (You Pussys!) No State-Secret How Much I Love Cats.
Cred For Vid: Stray Cats
Who Ever Said That The Eighties Were Completely Devoid of Great Music?
(Oh Yeah, I Guess I Did–. My BAD!)
Vid Cred: CatsCovers
And I will tell you why.
When I first met my soon to be third wife, (Shakespeare / Marlow Professor), She announced to the class, First Day of Class:
“My Name is ‘Lisa,’ but you may address me as ‘Professor’, or ‘Doctor Lisa.’ “
“I have three ex-husbands and five cats.”
(I was ‘instant – enamored’)
Three weeks later we were living together.
Of course I had to drop out of her class… well just because… I was ‘honorable,’ back in those days.
Seems to me I had two choices. I could sleep with her, or remain her student.
I chose the former.
First time she invited me into her apartment the kitties all went crazy, running about, knocking over shit.
Vases, bowls in the kitchen, magazines, flower pots, etcetera.
She said, “They do this every time I return home. They’ll calm down in a few. Wanna drink?”
“Of course” I said.
Then Kitty Roll Call/Introductions:
Oldest to Youngest:
John Paul (AKA ‘Kitty) Old and pure white and touch me not.
Sabrina, Fat and gray, dumb as a box of rocks, huge belly, dragged the floor.
(Months later when we all moved into a real house with real wooden floors, I would spray her belly with Pledge and watch her walk about, dusting the floors…)
Lisa was not amused.
(But I was)
Midge (AKA: “Moochie”) Tiny. Pure solid black. Tiny. Small of frame. I could almost put her in my shirt pocket.
Henry. Large, very large Orange Buff Tabby. Sweetest disposition of ANY Cat I had ever known. He was the ‘Peace-Maker’
Henry had just one character flaw:
Every time I was on the telephone, he would jump onto my lap and ‘Meow’ his ass off.
He Always Had to be the Center of my Attention.
He just would not allow me to have him second in my attention.
Lucia! (AKA “Chia” Cat From Hell.) Black and white. Had a body like Mary-Lou Retton,
kinda chunky and muscular and just as agile. First time I introduced myself, she bit me.
Then She clawed me. Left me bleeding.
(Not Mary Lou: Lucia)
Bonus Added Values:
Wastin’ Away Again In “Commerce-Ville”
Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett – Margaritaville
I Love a Steel Guitar
(When ‘Done’ Properly)
I Had a An HG Friend, Moniker of Boyd Hudgens–
He Could Play Steel Guitar Like No-Body’s Business.
Just Yet A Nother, ‘Fun, Pointless Fact‘
Street Cred For Vid Share: ms50katy
Still On My ‘Faith’ & Southern Women Kick–The Two Are The Same–Only A Southerner Will Understand, “My Humble Tribute To The Highwomen”
was a sailor…
Sexy, and Perfection!
I only recently discovered these gals via KETR—The Local NPR Radio Station here in Commerce—Run by The University. This is the Program that was playing— “Notably Texan.” My FAVORITE For Obvious Reasons.
“With the lofty mandate to curate the culture of Texas music, Notably Texan host Matt Meinke scours the state’s singers and songwriters, stars or not, and hand-selects the purest cuts of well-marbled entertainment for your daily listening pleasure. The tempo, the style, the instrumentation, the genre – it doesn’t matter. The rules are simple – the songs need to have a Texas connection. Rock, rap, country, reggae, electronica, dub step, house, R&B – If the music helps to build an audio tapestry worthy of the Lone Star State, it’s got a shot on Notably Texan.”
I was on my way back from one of my ‘Booze-Run’ Missions when this song came on the program. I had to pull over to properly focus on it—This is how impressed and captivated and enamored I instantly was…
Try this version
It may not take three DAYS to Load!
“Heaven is a Heaven Is A Honky Tonk”
“There’s a choir singing in a southern accent, a fiddle in the band
There’s a “Hallelujah!” on the lips of every dying man
Mama, don’t you cry when they’re dead and gone
Jesus, he loves his sinners and heaven is a honky tonk”
(I do not know who The Rather Large Black Broad Who Joined The Girls on the Stage is–Trust Me: I looked–But Obviously, She Added added Value–Bravo For HER!)
And Bravo To The Highwomen!
Yeah, I am a ‘Closet Liberal’ And an ‘Out-of-the-Closet-Redneck’— And An Extremely Pro-Feminist–My Love of And For of Women is Very-Well Documented. I Never pull My Punches.
Yes, I am ‘complicated’–But Y’all knew this already.
Love me, or HATE Me. I really Don’t Give a Shit!
You do YOU.
And Embrace Your Opinions.
But only if You are Sincere.
I am, if nothing else, HONEST!
I’m as Real as Real Can Get!
What You See, Is Exactly What You Get!
“The Highwomen are the rarest of country supergroups: a quartet who came together at the height of their popularity and creative powers, not when they were settling into their legacy. In that regard, the quartet of Brandi Carlile, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires, and Natalie Hemby differ from their knowing namesake the Highwaymen, a band Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and Kris Kristofferson formed in 1985, just as they started to drift down the charts. When the Highwomen appeared in 2019, every member of the quartet was at a peak in her respective roots niche. Singer/songwriter Carlile was fresh off winning three Grammy Awards and Morris was at the vanguard of country-pop, while Shires’ cult was growing thanks to the atmospheric Americana of To the Sunset and Hemby’s reputation as a country songwriter was at a peak, thanks to her contributions to Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour and Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings.”
Article Credit: ALLMUSIC
“Pulling up the floors and changin’ out the curtains
Some of us are saints and some of us are surgeons
Made in God’s image, just a better version
And breakin’ every Jello mold
And when we love someone, we take ’em to heaven
And if the shoe fits, we’re gonna buy 11
How we get it done, we like to keep ’em guessing
But secretly, we all know.”
“I Was a ‘Highwoman'”
I AM STARSTRUCK
FUN FACT: My Best GF, Highschool Sweetheart, once said to me, and I quote:
“Lance, You are so easily Starstruck.”
I had to beg to differ, but she was at least half-right–when I see talent combined with Beauty, I fall victim–it is a pleasant fall and an admitted failing of mine–I relish and truly appreciate people who add value and meaning to my life.
Fallon: Lucky Unworthy Bastard!
And Just For Reference:
Willie & The Boys
I do hope Y’all Enjoyed Watching/Reading This Post As Much As I Loved Putting It Together.
LET’S JUST CALL IT “A LABOUR OF LOVE,” IF YOU WILL.