Category Archives: Commerce

Fuk Me to Beers! The Best Peeps I Met, I Met In Re-HaBab Whatever! None of Us Could spel for shit! Poem For “Ethel”–Fake Name–UBH: Interlude

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Or….

Why is the rum gone?

 

 

Black Hair

Black Eyes

Bright Smile

Great Thighs

Wily Words From Her Mouth

Gave No Pause

Left No Doubt

Words Delivered With Such Charm

Better Watch Out

You’ll Be Disarmed

Your Walls Came Crashing Down

Your Weapons On The Ground

She Was Standing There

(Laughing At My Folly)

Laughing Everywhere

You May As Well Surrender Right There

Taking Me Aside, She Said

“I’ll Never Be Your Bride.

“But You Knew This All Along.”

She Left Me With A Song

And Made Me Smile Again

Then Left Me With a Fact:

“I Cheats At Blackjack”

 

(Inside Joke—Will Elaborate On This In A Future Post As We Delve Deeper Into This Odyssey)

“A Broad River Divides My Lovers: As Unchangeable As Nature.”

Best Carly Song Ever NOT Written by Kris Kristofferson. I misspoke.

Here is the one I meant (Written by Kris):

Sade! Take me Away!

“Take That MaryPoppins UMbrella and Shove it UP ure Ass!” My Gawd! How Much How I MISS HER! UBH Post Continuation Teaser

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My GAWD!

I met a young broken woman while at Rehab.

(Hell! We were all ‘broken.’ Otherwise how the fuck did WE ALL END UP IN THIS PLACE??)

Let us call her name, “Kelsey” (Because that was probably her name)

Once while KNEE deep in some dark philosophical discussion she looked me dead in my eye and said,

“You can take that Marry Poppins umbrella and fly the fuck outta town.”

Instant Love and Instant Karma.

“Ethel, (The Cambodian) Pirate’s Daughter” seated next to me was not amused by my most recent love lust and infatuation.

But that is how things ‘work’ while in Rehab. Relationships are fleeting and ten-a-penny and not worth a cup of warm spit once one escapes…

Rehab.

Borrowed Karma

The payback and the interest is a mother-fucker.

(Please trust me on this; I know from where I speak)

Now, please, if you please, quietly fuck the fuck off.

“The line forms to the right.”

Internal Lance Voice chimes in:

“Who on Earth do you think you are? A Superstar?”

(“Well Wrong You Are!”)

Another Entry In My “Cock-Eyeyed Optimisty-You Know….”Now Pay Attention Kids. Things Are Gonna Get Easier; Things Are Gonna Get Brighter”

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So, Buck Up Lil Campers!

*****

Most of Below Originally Posted on FaceBook.

(Sorta)

****

“Now pay attention Kids.

I am Not sayin’ I love this version more than the other I recently Posted.

But Damn it’s Great! More Healthy Optimism,

Less Dread!


And Y’all know Beautiful Redheads make me weak-in-the-knees

No, not the dude with the red Ragnar Lodbrok Beard & wearin’ the Pork Pie Hat. LOL!

The Women! FFS!”

Artists Cred: An international Musical Collective.

Vid share credit: bikfoot

“Life and art & music finds a way.” (Yeah, I added that part) Screw You WuFlu!

Sue me

**********

OK, so I was trying to sleep yet another one off.
Was having this dream:
Someone was placing their hands on me.
I woke up.


MS Muse had placed some headphones over my ears and whispered softly to me,


“Hear Baby; Listen to this:
Things are gonna grow better, brighter.
I promise.”

(Since WhorrPress is SO STUPID. try to find one of My Abusive Muse Links Below. Approach it as an Easter Egg Hunt.)

Un-Requited Love! (Abusive, Callous Muse)

Artists Credit: Five Stairsteps
Vid Share Credit: danschutz

***

I guess she really does love me after all…

I love her more.

Just sayin’

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Have A Great Good Friday Y’all!

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Bonus ‘Added Value’ Tracks
Just To ‘ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE’ :

The GREAT Bob Marley

The GREAT Johnny Mercer

Accentuate the Positive!

Bing Baby!

And My Be’Loved Andrews Sisters!

Happy Cockeyed Optimist. I’m Stuck Like a Dope With a Thing called ‘Hope’–C’est Moi!

I am reposting this simply because I want her to see it. I don’t even know if she has a computer “Simply For Cynthia (Esoteric Post—Don’t Bother)” She is about to drive me to the booze store (I asked if she would—I won’t drive drunk—don’t wanna acidrntally kill some innocent one. Cynthia said she would drive me in my car–she don’t have a car. She is such ‘good people’. I love her!

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Song Dedicated to My Cynthia.
She works her butt off, looking out for all the inmates here @ Lion’s Den.

She is My Guardian Angel in Disguise.
I do not want to live in a world without her, now that I’ve found her.
And she me…

*****

I had a package delivery today
My neck collar/embracement
But more important:
Thank You Cards—Blank
I filled out three:

One for that dude who helped me into my house last week

One for Deb, The Warden.

And of course one for, the main one of course … for Cynthia, The Walking Boss.

I shouted her down as she was making her rounds.

Asked her to deliver my cards. Then gave her hers.
She threw her arms about my neck.

(We do not wear WuFlu Face Diapers in Texas)

While Locked in her embrace I said, “You know I love you.”
She said, “I love you more.”

Then she untangled she from me and walked away.

I watched

****

Fun Fact: Donna Married two, count ’em, two, White Boys.
Maybe there is hope for me!
Alas, but she be dead…

And Hopefully in Heaven.

If there exists such a place.

******

Just for fun, for all you folks out there in

‘Radio Land’

A Little ‘Bonus’ Content:
(Are you ‘Content?’)
I know I am.

******

Beautiful, Wondrous Lady!

Donna!

And My Girl:

Cynthia

My Girl! (In my dreams)

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! “Assholes ‘R’ Us!”

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Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

My God! But Joni is an Angel!

(Have I ever Mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE HER?!)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

Get Back Mack!

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

(When You’re Me!)

My Mind Has Left the Building! Bye Bye Mind! Happy Trails! (And Once Again: Word-Depressed Screwed Up My Edit!) “Hey WordPress Go GET Wrecked!”

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“Look What They Done To My Brain”

Street Cred for Vid: amonem

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Fuck You Bob!

(Ed Note: This Post is Becoming more and more about Melanie, and less and less about Dylan. My Original intent was to do a Dylan Bit. I Got Distracted)

The more I discover about this woman, the more I fall in fantasy love with her.

She is so fucking charming.

She captivates and fascinates.

My God! But she is a beautiful woman!
“Mel, why did I NOT ever run into you?

I would have roo’d/woo’d you.”
(Or tried to)

Street Cred for Vid: Navegantadelanave

*****

Would have given my best shot anyhow. (Such as that would’ve been at the time–my attention span was brief, but for you, I would have taken my time.

And worked ‘The Problem’ I had with my infatuation)

“I wish I could find a good book to live in.”

–Melanie

(Actually I have one. It is entitled “The Complete Works of Shakespeare.”) I am gonna live there.

Current state of “Lance Mind:”

****

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

With his wife and five children

And his cabin fallin’ down

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

Your children are so hungry

That they don’t know how to smile

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

You walk the floor and wonder why

With every breath you breathe

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

If there’s anyone that knows

Is there anyone that cares?

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

Your empty pockets tell yuh

That you ain’t a-got no friend

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your wife’s screams are stabbin’ you

Like the dirty drivin’ rain

Your grass it is turning black

There’s no water in your well

Your grass is turning black

There’s no water in your well

You spent your last lone dollar

On seven shotgun shells

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That’s hangin’ on the wall

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That you’re holdin’ in your hand

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

Seven shots ring out

Like the ocean’s pounding roar

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

Somewhere in the distance

There’s seven new people born

****

I still hang onto hope for humanity.

Just a little humanity.