Y’all Know This Drill: PLEASE Re-Visit–I DID. Tanks In Advance. “This Was Ostensibly Meant To Be A Tongue – in- Cheek Fun Post,

But A ‘Friend’ Fuk’t It Up For Me & Pissed Me Off!

So, Natch, I Un-Loaded Both My Shot Gun Barrels Toward His / Hers General Vicinity”

But Some Asshole Took Offense Becuz I Used The ‘C’ Word–

Perhaps I’ll ‘Clean it Up Later–

But Don’T /Count Down’–

U May Drown.

*****

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie – Drowning

Cred Fer Vid: A Boogie Wit da Hoodie

*****

It Was Directed At ME! No One Else But Me! ME FOR FUCK SAKE!

If You Be Too Stupid To Understand That Go Find Some Cute Kitten Vids To Explore & Enjoy!

Jeeze Louise!

Rent a Sense of Humor!

“Just a Quick One For Fun

(Food Makes Me Throw Up In My Mouth)”

Read the comment here if you have no life or a min of time to waste:

barbaramullenix November 15, 2021 at 12:59 Edit:

“Well, you finally topped yourself. I have some of the ‘thickest’ skin around and you finally pissed me off enough to tell you. I don’t know the sort of women you associate with, but none, to my knowledge, after hearing the work ‘cunt’ would have anything to do with you. I would reconsider your claim to be a ‘functioning’ alcoholic if you deem some of your phrasing to be anything but misogynistic.
Goodbye, and I hope you eventually get your life together.

***

I’m Calling ‘Bullshit’ On Her Comment:

Supercilious Bitch!

******

misogynistic?!

Are You fucking kidding me?!

I am about as far removed from misogyny as one can possibly be!

Read My Fuckin’ Blog!

I do nothing but celebrate & praise women on these pages!

Emmylou Harris on 3/13/77 in Chicago, Il. (Paul Natkin/Image Direct)

Today was a beautiful Texas early-autumn day.

Forever Autumn

Jeff Wayne, Richard Burton, Justin Hayward

This is a Most Beautiful Song

I Had The Entire ‘War of The Worlds’ On Cassette When I was in Sinai

Played it so much I had to buy a new copy

My cassette player ate my first

I threw THAT Cassette Player into a Wadi for The Bedouins and Bought a new, more better, more loyal one!

(Srry; I gots distracted—post is below)

Only a few problems:

I was dangerously low on booze.

(And I HATE DT MAN!)

And it was a Sunday.

And I was drunk

I refuse to drive drunk.

Not because I fear The LAW

But because I don’t wanna harm some innocent.

I went outside and sat down.

The sky was so blue

The air was so clean

I watched three crows on the wing

Diving down ever’ once in a while…

Picking up on shiny things

Joni!

Black Crow

I looked at the morning
After being up all night
I looked at my haggard face in the bathroom light
I looked out the window
And I I saw that ragged soul take flight
I saw a back crow flying
In a blue sky

Had heard Timothy, my neighbor, mucking about.

Figured he could drive me to the beer store soon as they could legally (Crack of Noon in Tejas–Gotta let them Church O’ Christers outta their pen) sell me some wine or beer, or le both.

And some Copenhagen and a bit of food too (While I was at it)

But he was shade-tree mechanic working on someone’s car down the way.

So I just waited and watched the crows

And day-dreamed of booze and food….

*****

To be continued

I Promise

Copenhagen Junkie – Chris LeDoux

Vid Share Street Cred: tjcrnj

Ramen Noodle Song

Vid Cred: Cartoon Connect

****

Had to add

From the Commentary Section:

barbaramullenix to Lance:
“I love me some Ramen Noodles. Cheap too!

****

Lance to barbaramullenix:

Yeah, Ramen Noodles are chock – full of vitamins and minerals & nutrition come to fruition

Vitamin ‘A’ for ‘Asshole, you should not be eating this’
Vitamin ‘C’ for ‘You really are a dumb cunt, ain’t ya?’

Vitamin ‘D’ for “this Dumbass gonna eat this Shit
Mineral ‘S’ for “You’re gonna have a stroke’
Vitamin ‘E’ for ‘Eat me; see what happens to yer body’

Vitamin ‘K’ for You’re not gonna be OK, So’K?”

LOLOLOLOL!

Cheers!

–Lance

*****

Try Not To Cry!

This Post is all over-some-place- Sorry. Just My Re-Livin’ My UBH Experience(s)

“You Can Take That Mary Poppins UMbrella and Shove it Straight UP U’re Ass. And Then fly all the way home! All Alone.”

Fav Things:

I love Angela Cartwright

Esoteric Ref…. Sorry!

I Just Caint Hep it!

Lost in Her Space!

Her outter space space race!

****

Whiskers On Kittens

*****

My Gawd! How Much How Much I MISS HER!

UBH Post Continuation Teaser

I Met such wonderful, intelligent folks in re-hab.

All were so intelligent and so eloquent.

No. I’m not talkin’ ’bout the staff; I’m talkin’ ’bout my fellow inmates.

Oh My GAWD!

Instant Karma!

“You Better Get Yourself Together;

Pretty soon You’re Gonna Be Ded”

But We ALL Shine On!

 

I met a young broken woman while at Rehab.

(Hell! We were all ‘broken.’ Otherwise how the fuck did WE ALL END UP IN THIS PLACE??)

Let us call her name, “Kelsey” (Because that was probably her name)

Once while KNEE deep in some dark philosophical discussion she looked me dead in my eye and said,

“You can take that Marry Poppins umbrella and fly the fuck outta town.”

Instant Love and Instant Karma.

“Ethel, (The Cambodian) Pirate’s Daughter” seated next to me was not amused by my most recent love lust and infatuation.

But that is how things ‘work’ while in Rehab. Relationships are fleeting and ten-a-penny and not worth a cup of warm spit once one escapes…

Rehab.

Borrowed Karma

The payback and the interest is a mother-fu#ker.

(Please trust me on this; I know from where I speak)

Now, please, if you please, quietly f*ck the fu%k off.

“The line forms to the right.”

Internal Lance Voice chimes in:

“Who on Earth do you think you are? A Superstar?”

“Well Wrong You Are!”

Regurgitated Shi… N/M. “Facebook Philosophy” (One of the Vids Got Sucked Down-The-Memory Hole–Perhaps I’ll ‘Fix’ That Later, But Please Do NOT Hold Yer Bated Breath)

And I DO Apologize for Word-Press. Whose Total Tonnage Of Inadequacy Would Sink The Mighty Bismarck

****

WOODSTOCK! I Would’ve been THERE, But, ALAS: I Had Been ‘Grounded’

Not to Mention The Paralyzed Fact That I was Too Young to Have a

Driver’s License

Max Yasgur’s Farm

Or…

“Find The Cost Of Freedom”

I Cannot Find The Orig Poster To Credit.  Fuk It!

****

I Recently Posted this on Facebook (not sure why)

******

“To All My Facebook Friends:

I love to ‘share’ stuff.

(This is the ‘primary purpose’ of FB as I understand it)

Some of the things I ‘share’ are good.

Some other things not so much.

But I share anyway. 

Why?

  1. Because I can

  2. Because I want to

  3. Because it makes me happy.

  4. Because I am ‘generous.’

  5. And I try to make people happy (If only for a moment)

Yep. I am generous.

To a fault.

I will give you the shirt off my back if it will do you more good than me.

I will give you my food, my booze, my car.

I will give you almost anything I own.

Because I do not care about material things.

The only thing I will not give you is My Life.

(There has been only one time I was ready to give my life for a friend, and that happened one Labour Day back in the Early Seventies)

I am older now and hopefully somewhat wiser.

And have become so ‘loving jealous’ of my life of late.

“Life is for learning.”

–Joni Mitchell

*********

(Just for reference in case you are new here):

https://texantales.com/2022/09/13/cowards-die-many-times-before-their-deaths-the-valiant-never-taste-of-death-but-once-w-shakespeare/

https://texantales.com/2014/01/30/cowards-die-many-times-before-their-deaths-the-valiant-never-taste-of-death-but-once-w-shakespeare/

Just a little more “added value”

If you have come this far,

You must surely know by now how much I love Joni.

Original “Woodstock”

Song.

Sung by

A Poet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjQCvfcXn0

 

 

A Rare Gem

A Treasure.

A Woman (of Heart and Mind)

An Angel.

(There is no thumbnail)

Trust me!

It is Joni!

Watch and listen!

Try this one:

(These two below, actually)

There is never enough Joni in my World.

If you do not love Joni,

Well,

You have probably taken a wrong turn at

Albuquerque.

And should not be here.

Go back to California.

Or Egypt.

Or Cat-Man-Don’t.

Or

Whatever Planet You Call “Home.”

These days.

I Love You So Much Joni!

Oh Fuck it!

I will revisit this when I am sober.

Fuck it!

WordPress is obviously 

Broken.

WP and I have this in common:

We are both…

Broken.

Fuck it!

“Is it all books and words? Or do you really feel it? Do you really care? Do you really smile. When you smile?”

 

And since I am rather fond of complete sentences

(and closure)

I just feel compelled to drop this bit in.

(For those few, those happy few, who actually “get” me.

And my sense of humor.)

If I keep dropping mindless shit into this post, I am going to lose my fucking mind.

But I suppose this “Post” Was All About Some Of The Favorite Things I Love To Share.

Now.

Fess up.

Wasn’t it?

Fuck it.

You should not have come this far.

Go Away.

(This one is just for Lance.)

Vid credit: Boston 4 Evaa

“Say, can I have some of your purple berries?”
“Yes, I’ve been eating them for six or seven weeks now. Haven’t got sick once.”
“Probably keep us both alive.”

I keep ‘sharing’.

But that was the entire point of this entire exercise.

Now,

Wasn’t it?

And just to tie up this thought process…

“Few of My Favorite Things.”

Someday, this post is gonna end.

I am gonna keep milking this cow until she be dry.

(Yes! I am insane!)

Please try to forgive me.

Or not.

Really do not care.

At this point.

“Sharing is Caring.”

Laughing out LOUD!

(I do NOT Subscribe to the “Social Justice Warrior” Magazine.)

‘Cuz I am an asshole.

But then, you’d know that….already.

Thank you if you have read this post.

I am not so much of an ass that I cannot appreciate any time you have spent here.

Thank You.

“Guess I’ll set a course and go.”

ZERO FUCKS GIVEN!

Oy vay!

Preach On My Brother!

The Church of ‘Fuck You’

https://www.scribd.com/book/485845652/The-Church-of-Fuck-You-Holy-Shit-Edition

I Know! I Know! I Know!! I Know I Know I know I KNOW I … I Know I Know I Know I Know I Know I am, Am A Too Fu*king Well-KNOWN Moron.–What of It?

Being Well-Known and Eight Bits Might, Just Might

Get You A Cup Of Coffee.

If You’re Lucky And Have Not Sinned Recently.

Guess That Counts ME Out

***

Asshole! I KNOw I KnOw I know I’m a Fukking asshole! I am, A fuckkking Asshole! But I AM not f*CkIN’ sTUpId!

“Shoot Low Sir; I Think she’s Riding a Shetland.”

I Know! Hand Me the Rifle, watch this and STFU!

I Know I Know I Know…

***

Bill Withers – Ain’t No Sunshine

Did Y’all Count the “I Knows?”

I Know I know That I did.

I Counted Twenty-Four–

But then, I’m see’in’ Double

Foreigner – Double Vision:

 

Yer Mileage May Vary

Cred for Vid: Andres Trevino

*****

Texas ain’t ’bout SHit

She is sublime!

In My Mind!

I Created Her In My Mind-Time

But! Go Ahead!

Spend a dime!

Take some Time

And Go Ahead

Live With Me!

In

My Vain Fantasy!

Shoot Low Sir; I Think she’s Riding a Shetland.

Bonus!

“Deep In The Heart Of Texas”

Cred: TXCOC

I made her

(My Muse)

In My Mind!

Pygmalion-Like!

I will expand on thIS LAtR

aLLIGAtOR!

(iF yer Lucky)

This is SEXIST aSK

Ask me hoW maNY Fuks

I Don’t Give!

God Blesse’d Texas!

Fun Fact:

Rhonda and I, My Second or Third,

Lived Less Than Three Mile From

SouthFork “Ranch”,

In Plain’Oh

Texas!

Our Tailor PARK

Was Called

“SouthFork!”

I am NOT

Making This Up!

U Can Look it Up!

(It is Still There!)

But they No Longer Call Them

“Trailer Parks”

They are Now…

“Mobile-Home Communities

Fuk Me!

I am Just Plain ‘Ol White Trash

&

Proud of it

******

You Broke it!

You Fix it!

I don’t C’AAre, Nor gi\ve a fuk!

All the Y’alls

Y’all!

Friday Night Lights:

All the Y’alls from Tami Taylor

Yu Fix This Chocolate Mess!

I don’t Have The Time

WP is Stupid…

It is NOT Even Intuitive!—

This is ‘Tweenty-One

Hav’ Fun!

Cred: Chris Spags Ate all, Y’all

& K.Ryan Jones (I Think)

And, Please Don’t Quote Me

(I Have More Than Enough Illegal Troubles Already)

*****

Lyle, I LOVE IT!”

Watch This GD it

More Bonus OnUS!

“It’s Mid-Night, But It’s All Right, ‘Cause I Got Two More Bottles of Wine” (Literally!) “And, So Sorry My Liver; Just Endeavor To Keep On Hangin’ On.”

Emmylou!

I LOVE YOU!

I JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!!

Maybe it will make you happy too

Related

Credit: Pharrell Williams

Credit: Sam O’Nella

You gots to be mo’ careful:

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Two More Bottles Of Wine

Emmylou is so drop-dead beautiful (and so ‘feisty’ in this performance. I love love LOVE her!)

Linda goes to Mars and leaves her mind behind.

(I can certainly relate)

One More from Beautiful Emmylou:

Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight 

Best lyric from this song:
“It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches.”

Or this one: “There ain’t no way to stop the water”

(It’s a ‘photo finish.’)

Such a wonderful song. I love you Emmylou!

Morons/Assholes ‘R’ Us! Well, Lance Anyhow.”I’m An Asshole, And I’m Proud Of It.”–Denis Leary (& Lance Anthony Marcom)

“I’m An Asshole”

Cred: Dennis Leary

“I Am MORON”



Credit: https://www.cartoonnetwork.com/

***

Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

Harper Valley PTA

Cred:  Jeannie C. Riley.

And As My Aside: I Miss ‘Big Hair’ On The Ladies

And I Despise Hypocrites

***

“I Hate Rude Behavior In A Man. I Won’t Tolerate it.”

Credit For Share: Porfle Popnecker

***

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

Bonus! Bonus! Own Us!

Credit: Steven Crowder

Helpful Heloise Hint: Scroll Ahead A Mite.

Specifically: Time Mark 22:00 And Change