DEAD GUPPY

As MOST of you know, I used to own a “Pet Shoppe.”

Well actually it was just a Tropical Fish Store

In Nacogdoches, Texas.

Tropical Fish is all we sold. (and a few-odd Crustaceans–just for fun)

This Monty Python bit cracks me up.

Customer walks into my store.

“My guppy died.”

 (I had a three-day guarantee on any fish I sold–it was a gimmick, but I honored it.)

“Madame did you put the chlorine removal drops into your ‘guppy-tank?”

“The whaaa? ” she said.

*Heavy sigh* from me

“Ok. I will give you a new guppy and some free chlorine removal drops. Use them this time.”

I think she then told me to go fuck myself and said something about going to Ben Franklin’s up the street.

Benny Franklin sold guppies back in them days.

(And apparently their guppies were made of sterner stuff. )

And hopefully Benny Frank would throw in some Chlorine Removal Drops—but this Broad was probably too stupid to understand how to use them—the process and procedure was above her capacity of understanding.

“Bon voyage,” I said to her back as she departed my life (Hopefully Forever.)

Added Value:

“All the Reasons Why”

Not really related, but I like it.

So I just drop it in.

Not certain why.

If you twist your mind a little, it works.

Related: Sometimes There Just Aren’t Enuff Crud Eaters (A Rewite)

Rhonda: Chapter Le Premier

This ain’t Rhonda, but a pretty (really pretty) reasonable facsimile.

(Just like Rhonda)

Once Janet and I had escaped (In the middle of the night) from Nacogdoches, after having sold out and sold our “Aquarium World” Crud-Eater Tropical Fish Emporium to a young couple for not nearly what it was worth, we headed to Plano.

(Not sure why Plano)

Got there. Early in the A.M.
Just in time to find an apartment.

Found one, but we were near to broke.

West Plano—where all the yuppies and rich folk lived.

We managed to move in though.

No FURNITURE.

(We were used to that)

After about a month, we got kicked out.

Because we were deemed to be “White Trash.”

Fuck ‘em.

We found a cheaper apartment in East Plano that was FURNISHED.

Janet announced to me one day that she wanted to be a ‘housewife’ for one year.

Considering what I had put her through and what a ‘trooper’ she had always been, I agreed.

So I got a job which paid shit, but just enough to make her dream come true.

We would manage.

The job was a ‘factory’ job for a Mom and Pop company:

SPAN INSTRUMENTS

They made gauges. Pressure gauges. Mostly for fire trucks.

I was hired as a ‘Calibration Technician.’

For the gauges.

(Yeah, with all of my fucking ‘math skills.’)

But I never missed work and so they kept upping my pay.

So it was easy for me to keep my promise to my wife.

Then entered Rhonda Jo:

Throwing a spanner in the works of my marriage.

To be continued…

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