Fuk Me to Beers! The Best Peeps I Met, I Met In Re-HaBab Whatever! None of Us Could spel for shit! Poem For “Ethel”–Fake Name–UBH: Interlude

Or….

Why is the rum gone?

 

 

Black Hair

Black Eyes

Bright Smile

Great Thighs

Wily Words From Her Mouth

Gave No Pause

Left No Doubt

Words Delivered With Such Charm

Better Watch Out

You’ll Be Disarmed

Your Walls Came Crashing Down

Your Weapons On The Ground

She Was Standing There

(Laughing At My Folly)

Laughing Everywhere

You May As Well Surrender Right There

Taking Me Aside, She Said

“I’ll Never Be Your Bride.

“But You Knew This All Along.”

She Left Me With A Song

And Made Me Smile Again

Then Left Me With a Fact:

“I Cheats At Blackjack”

 

(Inside Joke—Will Elaborate On This In A Future Post As We Delve Deeper Into This Odyssey)

“A Broad River Divides My Lovers: As Unchangeable As Nature.”

Best Carly Song Ever NOT Written by Kris Kristofferson. I misspoke.

Here is the one I meant (Written by Kris):

Sade! Take me Away!

Either I’M too drunk to bE drunk or too fi==ukkkin’g Stupid to bE Stupid, oR WP is STUPID! i AM GONNA GO W/OPTION “c” UP-PUP_Fuckin’ Dated! Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia) I am So Far Away From “Give-a-Shit-Land” that even If I had Unlimited Access to the Hubble: It would Make as ’bout as Much and Concern to Me as a Cup of Warm Copenhagen Spit! I’d Just FLUSH IT Along with all the Other sUPER-dUPPER superfulious callifragile —-you know rhe resa=a=song—if you have a fucking brain! I am removin’ from MY Knife (and MY LIFe)! WP Brings OUT The Worst Liver WurtZ Parts of Me! I am trying to Be KIND! But WP is turning this into a fukkkin STRUGGLE! I MAY AS WELL BE BACK IN IRAQ! LIFE WAS SO MUCH EASIER THEN! WP is Pissin’ Me The FUK OFF! hAVE I failed to MENTION TODAY How MUCH I HATE WP??????

My Girl!

Dedicated

To

That

Bitch

I admire

for

Her

Courage

My Girl!

Cordelia!

I LOVE HER

I use a lot.

A lot of

Profanity

What can I say?

I am a Texan / Sailor

Or a Sailor / Texan

‘Tis my nature.

Never mean to offend.

Perhaps I should mend

My speech a little.

Naw!

Fuck that!

***

From ‘Lear’:

CORDELIA:

“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty

According to my bond, no more nor less.”

LEAR:

“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.”

“Daddy! Me ”Fortunes’ Goy (Lil Lenny-Jew Humor there–if you don’t catch the ref—you need not be HERE!)

mY fukkin’g ‘fortunes never existed! marred long fukkin’ time ago!” Married some other

ASSHOLE!

NEVER CAUGHT Her NAME!

NOT THAT THAT WOULD MATTER! FUK Her1 FUK HER! FUCK THE WORLD!

STOP! THIS GREYhOUND!

i’M GETTIN’ OFF!

Just for FUCKIN’ FUN

Because

I’m

a

MORON!

Street Cred: Julie Nolke

I FUKKIN’ LOVE HER!

No One Ub=derstns

My

Sins-of-Humor

This makes me

Sad!

Why

Do

I wasste

MY

Finitte

Time?

Castin’

Pearls

At

Swime?

Swim’en”

With

Bow-legg’d

wimmens!

(I really need to be….put down! For The Sake of hUMANITY — OR at LEAST That FRAGILE Future of What Pipe Dreams it fkkin’ harbors for its lame-ass-self…. shit! Ninety-nine and some chge of all creatures who ever walked or swam on this fukkin’ planet have gone xe-fukkin’ stink! You tink Homo-Sapiens are “special? Well a wink ias as good as a nod to a bling fuckin’ horse!

Some

Asshole

Out

in

:”Radio-

Land

Needs

to “Hip”

Me!

Becuz

I am doin’

This

Shit

in

My

tireless

Effort

To

Fucking

“Entertaine

Yer

Dumb

Assesses!

Please

Believer

When

I

say,

I have

Better

shit

I

i Could do

To

Occupy

My

Fucking

MIND

But

I love

to

try

to

brighten

Your day!

In

My

Simp,ly

Way!

I fukkin’

work

REAL FUKKING

HARD

at

IT

goggamn it!

I work real hard for the money!

That money

I need so

desparately

Need

But

would

Never

Ever!

Ask

You

For!

I suppose

All I would love

Is a

Little

Simlple

“Fuckin’ Thank – You”

mAYBE JUST once per year!

What do that cost you?

A fucking

Mouse miss-fire?

It is not my desire to write in a fuckin’ vacuum!

I am here to try to make you laugh!

Spend the time!

Drop a

fukkin’ dime

But….

Honestly!

I don’t

Give a shit

I write for me

The rest of y’all

can

go get

wrecked!

I won’t miss

Y’all!

For

What you

are

Trying


To

Fucking

DO!

I do NOT

Fuck about!

I am

SMART!

i HAVE been

’round

The fuckin’

Whurl!

Three

Fukkin’

Times!

Do

Y’aa

Think

I

Cannot

Better Find

Ways

To

Waste

My

Fukking time?

And my MIND?

BUT I LOVE

MY READERS!

ALL FIVE OF YOU!!!!

Yeah! I know I’m an asshole!

Git over

That!

Or Git away from me!

I aint

lookin’ for your

fukkink’ smyan-me!

Go on!

Be a FUCKING

PHOTOGRAPH!

I’LL Frame you

And

HANG

You

On

My

“I love Me Wall”

Then

Everytime I see

I

See

you

I

will

Laugh

My

Fuckin’

Ass

Off!

Do you honestly

Wish

me

Dead?

Pretty

Sure

I can

fullfill

That

Vain

Fantasy you have!

Fuck all of this!

I AM SO

SICK

OF

LANCE!

HE AIN’T FIT TO LIVE

WITH!

JUST CALL ME

“HUD!”

gODDAMMMMMNIT!

And…..

In

closing

Let

Me

Say

This

About

This!!!!

“It ain’t

Easy

Bein’

Lance”

And that

is

All

I

got

To

say

About

That!

I do realize

I have

Lost

My fukkin’

Mind!

But

I will

Find it

Again

SometimeIt

Was here

Just a minute ago

Could not

Have

Strayed

Far!

Maybe

I

Just

miss-placed

In

My Pocket!

“Insaniity”

is

JUST

A

Scare

Word

For

Cowards!

God-Fuckin-Zilla

Crit Drinker!

I wish I Were Fukkin’ GAY!

(Don’t Worry–GIRLS–I ain’t!)

But I FUKKIN’; LOVE YOU Crit Drinker Man! I fukkin’ LOVE YOU!

MY MAN! YOU NAIL IT EVER’ FUKKIN’ TIME! GODDAMN FUKKIN’ DAMN!

My mind is FUKKIN’ GONE!

I’m REALLY sORRY

kids!

Just joshin’

I AIN’T SORRY

fer

SHIT!

i’M a cunt!

Love

That

‘Bout me!

****

i’LL GET TO THE Vid Creds Once I awake

FROM MY

Coma

‘Cause

I

NEVER

Fail

To

Give

Credit

When

Fukkin’ du du du

And

FU

Dice!

UP-PUP_Fuckin’ Dated! Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia) I am So Far Away From “Give-a-shit Land” that even If I had Unlimited Access to the Hubble: It would Make as ’bout as Much and Concern to Me as a Cup of Warm Copenhagen Spit! I’d Just FLUSH IT Along with all the Other sUPER-dUPPER superfulious callifragile —-you know rhe resa=a=song—if you have a fucking brain! I am removin’ from MY Knife (and MY LIFe)!

My Girl!

Dedicated

To

That

Bitch

I admire

for

Her

Courage

My Girl!

Cordelia!

I LOVE HER

I use a lot.

A lot of

Profanity

What can I say?

I am a Texan / Sailor

Or a Sailor / Texan

‘Tis my nature.

Never mean to offend.

Perhaps I should mend

My speech a little.

Naw!

Fuck that!

***

From ‘Lear’:

CORDELIA:

“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty

According to my bond, no more nor less.”

LEAR:

“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.”

“Daddy! Me ”Fortunes’ Goy (Lil Lenny-Jew Humor there–if you don’t catch the ref—you need not be HERE!)

mY fukkin’g ‘fortunes never existed! marred long fukkin’ time ago!” Married some other

ASSHOLE!

NEVER CAUGHT Her NAME!

NOT THAT THAT WOULD MATTER! FUK Her1 FUK HER! FUCK THE WORLD!

STOP! THIS GREYhOUND!

i’M GETTIN’ OFF!

Just for FUCKIN’ FUN

Because

I’m

a

MORON!

Street Cred: Julie Nolke

I FUKKIN’ LOVE HER!

No One Ub=derstns

My

Sins-of-Humor

This makes me

Sad!

Why

Do

I wasste

MY

Finitte

Time?

Castin’

Pearls

At

Swime?

Swim’en”

With

Bow-legg’d

wimmens!

(I really need to be….put down! For The Sake of hUMANITY — OR at LEAST That FRAGILE Future of What Pipe Dreams it fkkin’ harbors for its lame-ass-self…. shit! Ninety-nine and some chge of all creatures who ever walked or swam on this fukkin’ planet have gone xe-fukkin’ stink! You tink Homo-Sapiens are “special? Well a wink ias as good as a nod to a bling fuckin’ horse!

Some

Asshole

Out

in

:”Radio-

Land

Needs

to “Hip”

Me!

Becuz

I am doin’

This

Shit

in

My

tireless

Effort

To

Fucking

“Entertaine

Yer

Dumb

Assesses!

Please

Believer

When

I

say,

I have

Better

shit

I

i Could do

To

Occupy

My

Fucking

MIND

But

I love

to

try

to

brighten

Your day!

In

My

Simp,ly

Way!

I fukkin’

work

REAL FUKKING

HARD

at

IT

goggamn it!

I work real hard for the money!

That money

I need so

desparately

Need

But

would

Never

Ever!

Ask

You

For!

I suppose

All I would love

Is a

Little

Simlple

“Fuckin’ Thank – You”

mAYBE JUST once per year!

What do that cost you?

A fucking

Mouse miss-fire?

It is not my desire to write in a fuckin’ vacuum!

I am here to try to make you laugh!

Spend the time!

Drop a

fukkin’ dime

But….

Honestly!

I don’t

Give a shit

I write for me

The rest of y’all

can

go get

wrecked!

I won’t miss

Y’all!

For

What you

are

Trying


To

Fucking

DO!

I do NOT

Fuck about!

I am

SMART!

i HAVE been

’round

The fuckin’

Whurl!

Three

Fukkin’

Times!

Do

Y’aa

Think

I

Cannot

Better Find

Ways

To

Waste

My

Fukking time?

And my MIND?

BUT I LOVE

MY READERS!

ALL FIVE OF YOU!!!!

Yeah! I know I’m an asshole!

Git over

That!

Or Git away from me!

I aint

lookin’ for your

fukkink’ smyan-me!

Go on!

Be a FUCKING

PHOTOGRAPH!

I’LL Frame you

And

HANG

You

On

My

“I love Me Wall”

Then

Everytime I see

I

See

you

I

will

Laugh

My

Fuckin’

Ass

Off!

Do you honestly

Wish

me

Dead?

Pretty

Sure

I can

fullfill

That

Vain

Fantasy you have!

Fuck all of this!

I AM SO

SICK

OF

LANCE!

HE AIN’T FIT TO LIVE

WITH!

JUST CALL ME

“HUD!”

gODDAMMMMMNIT!

And…..

In

closing

Let

Me

Say

This

About

This!!!!

“It ain’t

Easy

Bein’

Lance”

And that

is

All

I

got

To

say

About

That!

I do realize

I have

Lost

My fukkin’

Mind!

But

I will

Find it

Again

SometimeIt

Was here

Just a minute ago

Could not

Have

Strayed

Far!

Maybe

I

Just

miss-placed

In

My Pocket!

“Insaniity”

is

JUST

A

Scare

Word

For

Cowards!

God-Fuckin-Zilla

Crit Drinker!

I wish I Were Fukkin’ GAY!

(Don’t Worry–GIRLS–I ain’t!)

But I FUKKIN’; LOVE YOU Crit Drinker Man! I fukkin’ LOVE YOU!

MY MAN! YOU NAIL IT EVER’ FUKKIN’ TIME! GODDAMN FUKKIN’ DAMN!

My mind is FUKKIN’ GONE!

I’m REALLY sORRY

kids!

Just joshin’

I AIN’T SORRY

fer

SHIT!

i’M a cunt!

Love

That

‘Bout me!

****

i’LL GET TO THE Vid Creds Once I awake

FROM MY

Coma

‘Cause

I

NEVER

Fail

To

Give

Credit

When

Fukkin’ du du du

And

FU

Dice!

I am reposting this simply because I want her to see it. I don’t even know if she has a computer “Simply For Cynthia (Esoteric Post—Don’t Bother)” She is about to drive me to the booze store (I asked if she would—I won’t drive drunk—don’t wanna acidrntally kill some innocent one. Cynthia said she would drive me in my car–she don’t have a car. She is such ‘good people’. I love her!

Song Dedicated to My Cynthia.
She works her butt off, looking out for all the inmates here @ Lion’s Den.

She is My Guardian Angel in Disguise.
I do not want to live in a world without her, now that I’ve found her.
And she me…

*****

I had a package delivery today
My neck collar/embracement
But more important:
Thank You Cards—Blank
I filled out three:

One for that dude who helped me into my house last week

One for Deb, The Warden.

And of course one for, the main one of course … for Cynthia, The Walking Boss.

I shouted her down as she was making her rounds.

Asked her to deliver my cards. Then gave her hers.
She threw her arms about my neck.

(We do not wear WuFlu Face Diapers in Texas)

While Locked in her embrace I said, “You know I love you.”
She said, “I love you more.”

Then she untangled she from me and walked away.

I watched

****


Fun Fact: Donna Married two, count ’em, two, White Boys.
Maybe there is hope for me!
Alas, but she be dead…

And Hopefully in Heaven.

If there exists such a place.

******

Just for fun, for all you folks out there in

‘Radio Land’

A Little ‘Bonus’ Content:
(Are you ‘Content?’)
I know I am.

******

Beautiful, Wondrous Lady!

Donna!

And My Girl:

Cynthia

My Girl! (In my dreams)

My Mind Has Left the Building! Bye Bye Mind! Happy Trails! (And Once Again: Word-Depressed Screwed Up My Edit!) “Hey WordPress Go GET Wrecked!”

******

“Look What They Done To My Brain”

Street Cred for Vid: amonem

******

Fuck You Bob!

(Ed Note: This Post is Becoming more and more about Melanie, and less and less about Dylan. My Original intent was to do a Dylan Bit. I Got Distracted)

The more I discover about this woman, the more I fall in fantasy love with her.

She is so fucking charming.

She captivates and fascinates.

My God! But she is a beautiful woman!
“Mel, why did I NOT ever run into you?

I would have roo’d/woo’d you.”
(Or tried to)

Street Cred for Vid: Navegantadelanave

*****

Would have given my best shot anyhow. (Such as that would’ve been at the time–my attention span was brief, but for you, I would have taken my time.

And worked ‘The Problem’ I had with my infatuation)

“I wish I could find a good book to live in.”

–Melanie

(Actually I have one. It is entitled “The Complete Works of Shakespeare.”) I am gonna live there.

Current state of “Lance Mind:”

****

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

With his wife and five children

And his cabin fallin’ down

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

Your children are so hungry

That they don’t know how to smile

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

You walk the floor and wonder why

With every breath you breathe

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

If there’s anyone that knows

Is there anyone that cares?

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

Your empty pockets tell yuh

That you ain’t a-got no friend

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your wife’s screams are stabbin’ you

Like the dirty drivin’ rain

Your grass it is turning black

There’s no water in your well

Your grass is turning black

There’s no water in your well

You spent your last lone dollar

On seven shotgun shells

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That’s hangin’ on the wall

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That you’re holdin’ in your hand

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

Seven shots ring out

Like the ocean’s pounding roar

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

Somewhere in the distance

There’s seven new people born

****

I still hang onto hope for humanity.

Just a little humanity.

Twisted Duet (Just One More Madelyn Memory…)

One Saturday night, Madelyn and I (And Jennifer Rambo)

Found ourselves standing before Daddy.

In His Study.

That Bitch Gloria

(My Step-Mom)

was there as Well.

Our ‘Mission’… was to procure/beg money.

Maddy and Jennifer did this Joni (as a) Duet and Perfection two-part Harmony:

a capella!

“Twisted”

Street Cred For The Vid: JoniJourney

(It was Brilliant!)

It worked.

But Madelyne never failed to understand / underestimate her powers

****

(They Got Ten bucks.
Each.
And left.
)

As Madelyn was hitting the ‘Exit Door,’

(With her combined fortune of twenty bucks)

she cast a ‘sideways’ glance at me over her shoulder and grinned, not un-like a Cheshire Kitty.

I knew exactly what she said, un-said:

Try to follow my act, Asshole. Good Luck!

********

That Bitch Gloria then looked me up-and-down, said,

“Well, Lance? What can YOU do?”

I wanted to say,

“I can strangle you in your sleep.”

But of course, I didn’t say that.

So, I said, “I just want ten bucks.”

Daddy smiled at me.

Pulled out his wallet again, gave me a ‘tenner’—and said,

“Here you go Son. Be careful.”

That Bitch Gloria was not amused.

But I was.

As I exited Stage Right.

Smartly.

**************

I miss Madelyn so much.

And I miss Daddy.

Of Course.

*******

Some day, one day, I will empty gallons of virtual ink… about my father.

But I am not yet ready.

Not yet Ready to Stare Down Those Heady Memories