Category Archives: Madness

Sorry Kids. I am stupid Drunk–Not Really. Just Stupid–Had to Re-Post This—Expanded A Bit. I Miss My Navy SEAL Training Hazy Daze!

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Happy Cockeyed Optimist.

“I’m Stuck Like a Dope With On a Thing called ‘Hope”

I am Stupid Naive!

Immature and Incurably Green

I’ve loved my life!

Cockeyed Optimist

Mitzi Gaynor

(From “South Pacific”)

Never Worry!

“Worry” is the most useless waste of human emotions

A waste of time and energy!

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Video Credit: BobbyMcFerrin #DontWorryBeHappy #Vevo

Late entry/addition which no one will see. I drop it anyway. just a fond memory:

When I was in Navy SEAL training, late Eighties, we had, everyday, to run around with IBS on our head (IBS: Inflatable-Boat-Small).

This is part of a song we made up:

“Oh IBS! Stuck To My Head I Guess!”

The Instructors Often Filled Them With Sand.

Just For The Added Fun

Rock Portage

So Much Fun!

(One of My Shipmates Managed To Break His Leg While We Were ‘Performing’ This Fun Little ‘Evolution’.)


NAVY SEAL TRAINING: BUD/S

Surf Passage

I loved My Times Two Navy SEAL

Training Experience (’86 & ’88)

This Guy, Patstone, is Very Representative of Your

Typical BUD/s Instructor

I Think Somewhere In-A-Hidden, Very Top-Secret So Cal Location There is A ‘Clone Lab’ Where The Navy Makes These Guys

Instructor Patstone: 

Whom I Got To Know Too Well

(For My Taste)

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One day, one morning, my class mustered and went to retrieve our assigned IBS’s. Someone in another boat crew was laughing manically.

WTF? I pondered.

I walked over to the boat crew.

“What is so goddamn funny?” I asked.

“Lookit this shit” one said.

I looked at their IBS.

One of the SEAL instructors had spray-painted on all the IBS’s

“Don’t worry; Be Happy.”

Video Credit: BobbyMcFerrin #DontWorryBeHappy #Vevo

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I had to laugh.’

I did still manage to maintain my sense of humor, even though I knew I was probably gonna die that day….

Damn! I miss those days. And all the ‘good’ times!

Yeah. Believe what you’ve heard/read: SEAL training is BRUTAL. But ya gotta keep a sense of humor about you. Or at least in your pocket.

****

I love Barb in Her Sailor Suit!!

(Judy, You know I LOVE You Too!)

“Happy Days Are Here Again!”

Video Credit: George John

All The Lettuce is Brown, Alien, And Alive! Yes, I Am Properly Fucked! Oh, Almost Forgot: and the Milk is Gray

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All the lettuce is brown

And the milk

is

Gray

So I ran away!

Cass,

Yeah, I’d Fuck her

Twice!

Even Thrice!

Because shit like brown, pulsating, alive lettuce frightens me. I prefer my lettuce dead, not running about, chasing me.

And gray milk?

Don’t think so!

Not appealing to me.

Been there.

Done that.

In Iraq.

Never again.

No Sir. No Ma’am!

My Life?

I’m lovin’ it!

Wanna keep it.

Alive.

Wanna keep my life… alive.

Spend your pity on someone else.

But first call in an air-strike on the lettuce–for me–thanks– ‘preciate Ya!

I will survive.

Thank you

Drive Thru

Better Version Found Below

P.S., I Love You Michelle

Cali-Dreamin’ and Schemin’

Vid Cred: Thefreddy Show

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Added Bonus Reference

“P.S., I love you.” You. You. You. (Michelle, My Belle.)

Rhonda Jo: Chapter i dON’T Know…Maybe SanSrit…Two and a Half–White Trash Was She–I Still Miss Her– SO Marvelous Much!

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One night after some passionate love- making, I rolled over, looked at Rhonda and said,

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

She rolled over and said,

“Don’t. Just Don’t.

Too Late! How could this White – Trash Okie Woman possess such much subtle knowledge and inject it into my mind?

Of course, I fell even more madly in love with her after that.

Cred:

Klymaxx Klymaxx

I miss her.

I miss her smile.

And her Laughter

And her body

Rhonda Chapter (I forget) Eventually, I Managed to Marry Her In Lost Wages…. I Spent ALL of Our Honey-Moon Money at the ‘Oh Craps I Lost Tables’

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Seven Come Eleven on A rusty Dime—Nigger Got Choked on a Water-Mellon Rhine”And No! I am NOT Racist—I Just Love My Southern Heritage.

I ALWAYS Bet on the ‘Hard Four’—A Sucker Bet—But I wAS Always A ;sucker

While working as a calibration technician at “Spam” Instruments,

One day this broad shows up as a ‘co-worker.’

Let’s call her name ‘Rhonda.’  For that was her Christian Name.

We were working in tight quarters in a smallish factory room.

Me calibrating my ass off.

She assembling gauges her ass off.

We almost fell in love.

But

Alas

We were both married.

To not us

Yet that beat went on.

For a year.

Of course there was always this between us:

To be continued…

Of course I loved her.

I eventually married her.

Twice.

Poem For “Ethel”–Fake Name–UBH: Interlude

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Black Hair

Black Eyes

Bright Smile

Great Thighs

Wily Words From Her Mouth

Gave No Pause

Left No Doubt

Words Delivered With Such Charm

Better Watch Out

You’ll Be Disarmed

Your Walls Came Crashing Down

Your Weapons On The Ground

She Was Standing There

(Laughing At My Folly)

Laughing Everywhere

You May As Well Surrender Right There

Taking Me Aside, She Said

“I’ll Never Be Your Bride.

“But You Knew This All Along.”

She Left Me With A Song

And Made Me Smile Again

Then Left Me With a Fact:

“I Cheats At Blackjack”

(Inside Joke—Will Elaborate On This In A Future Post As We Delve Deeper Into This Odyssey)

“A Broad River Divides My Lovers: As Unchangeable As Nature.”

Best Carly Song Ever NOT Written by Kris Kristofferson. I misspoke.

Here is the one I meant (Written by Kris):

UBH Chapter Two

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So, after the ‘checking in’ process was sorted, I was led into the ‘Community Room’ and parked there.

“Wait! Where is the help I was promised?”

“The doctor will be about shortly”

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

I sat down in the corner and observed the people—my fellow in-mates.

The whole group seemed to be rather lethargic.

“What this group needs is a shot of Beam” I thought to myself.

As I was watching, I spied a young, Ornamental Girl who seemed to have some energy left in her body.

And I wanted to have some chat with her.

Turns out later, her name was ‘Ethel’ (fake name) but no way I could have known that at this time. I just wanted to get close to her.

And, eventually, I did.

Rest is history.

After about two hours of ‘inmate watching’ I sat down, introduced myself and announced ‘I am the smartest person in this room.’

Imagine my surprise when the laughter hit me like a slow bullet.

But ‘Ethel,’ ‘ET’ that was her nic…. Sat down beside me…

Thus began yet another unrequited love affair…

More to come…

She is not Chinese, but I could not find any Cambodian-American songs.

This will have to suffice.