Tag Archives: Rants
Someone Re-Liked This Post, So I thought I’d Re-Post. I am Proud of it! Hahahahahah! (I love my Readers; all Five of Y’all–
Thank Y’all For Making My Life Enjoyable & Thank Y’all For Your Support) “Step-Back Saturday! A Re-Post! “Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance”
(With Apologies to Robert M. Pirsig)
Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races!
A cheap thrill sensation
Brings joy and elation
With so much emoji
We’ll never be lonely
But cheap thrills ain’t lasting
Only forecasting
A sugary crash
Just a quick flash
It’s comments we want
No matter the font
Comments are golden
They fling the door open
Provide inspiration
Never inflation
True comments auspicious
And very propitious
Writers need feedback
Not smiley Prozac
If compelled to emoji
Don’t do that only
Take some small time
Drop a thin dime
Comment away
Make someone’s day
*****
(Yeah, I actually wrote that shit above)
Back in the day when I used to be a ‘writer’.
Years and Beers & Tears ago…
*****
Oh & By the way:
Je parle français
(un peu)
****
Call Me
Figuratively
Use Your Keyboard
I Will Always Answer
Given Enough Time
Cred: BlondieMusicOfficial
I’m off to the Rodeo!
Catch Y’all On The Flip Flop!
Rodeo Song, by Garry Lee and the Showdown
Cred for Vid Share: Manosphere Environment
This Old Dead Post Has Been ‘Resurrected’ And ‘Re-Mastered’ LMFAO! Spring Clinging: Atheists For Jesus. Yay Jesus! You Rock My World! Just Kidding.
Hey-Zeus! Spike It In The END Zone Bro. Then Come On Back Down To Earth Son. Check Us Out. See How We’re Doin’ Now
Get off of your Cloud
Dazed and Confused. Say me–Shit! Wrong song ref
“Lance, rent a brain–Yours is Null and Void”
My Life is A Cloudy Day. Okay?
Cred for vid: ABKCOVEVO
Reba?! Girl! Okie Gal! Really?
I Knew You When… Back then
Back when you were interesting
Now you’re just boring
“Come Back To God”
News Flash For Ya Reba McEntire: I was never ‘with’ YOUR God. Not in that ‘Biblical Sense’ nor any other kind of sense. Religion Is All Non-Sense
Boz My Man!
“Lowdown”
Jesus, it’s only been 2000+ years, For Christ’s Sake! (Sorry)
WTF else you got to do?
Count YOUR ‘Blessings? Play checkers with Daddy? Rest on your laurels? One and Done. That all you got?
What a gyp
Under achiever?
Or just lazy?
Lazy
Thought so. Well Man And Womankind need you to get up off yer laissez faire ass recliner-cloud and fulfill all them fake promises & Dry Dreams you promised. Been to Earth lately Jesus? Things are pretty fucked up is all I’m sayin’.
And P.S. I still love You Jesus. As a Good Man. Not as a Deity
Oh, and by the way Jesus, when I die, you gonna bring me back for a ‘do-over’?
No? Then you are of no use to me. Don’t let the manger door hit yer ass on your way out (That one you rode in on halfway to Jerusalem) Oh, and I have always wondered, was that ass a purchase or a rental?
Shalom & Allahu Akbar
Silent Eyes
Halfway to Jerusalem
(Yes. Your ‘Humble’ Author has been to Jerusalem–Many Times)
****
My Blog is no longer an aversion
Nor a version
of a virgin
Therefore, since I am leaving soon
(Insha’Allah.. Joke: probably get killed for that one–Y’all know who I am here and on which side I fall upon–Atheist) I am not for lack of a term: ‘an Evangelical Atheist’.
I do not care what you believe or don’t believe. My only further statement is atheists can be moral and good people, just like theists. We can also be immoral and bad people, just like theists. And we can be some kind of combination of the two; just like theists.
Hopefully, that above statement loses me not any of my followers (save one: my mother), But if so this is Karma (and no! I am not Buddhist nor Hindi either), then I will adopt the philosophy of a great ‘blogger-man’ I admire, respect, follow, and really despise:
http://aopinionatedman.com/ (ed note: May, 31st: I am no longer a fan of the Lemmings. i.e., I do not follow OM no mas, mainly because even I, cannot be that charitable) And that is all I am gonna say ’bout that. If you want some more piercing eloquence of the subject, I happily direct you to ‘The shitstorm that is my life: (she is brilliance in a bottle:
We differ, but we are kindred in our discourse of difference. Opinionated Man says this, and I quote:
“My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.”
Now. This is not in my manifesto, but I do find me subscribing to it more and more, day by day. Not sure why, but I do think OM has a valid point here: He writes for HIM.
This, I understand. And this is my new path. (Now all I need do is find some more followers… to hit the trail with me 😉 )
But Imagine:
Try to
Therefore in the spirit of cleaning up hard disk drive space, I have nominated this post (the one on the next page–The ‘Hitch-Slap’ will remain as long as I have electricity and an internet connection) for permanent removal. (though I Love it daily..er…dearly..especially the video clip”
Drum Roll Please!
I heretofore nominate this post…
To be… In the Hunger Games!
As tribute.
What say you?!
Read it and kiss it’s ass goodbye!
Credit: Moki John
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8vs5ndzUv3ku6N2lm-ywA
“I’m just a simple sailor Son…
Credit: Lance (But you knew that)
Drive-By “Likers” Give Me The Urge, The ‘Sudan’ (And Yes! I Have been to The Sudan–Twice) Urge, To Throw- Up-in-My-Mouth… An Unlikely Horse to Win, Place, or Even Show Up” (2021 Re-Boot with Verbose Author’s Op-Ed Bonus Bit Thrown In)
I (Do NOt ‘Like” Drive By Likers…
I Cannot be ‘Bother’ed’ To Remember, Or Give-A-Shit Whom To ‘Credit With The above Vid—Fuk It! I’ll Get To it, By and Bye–Bye Bye!
TLDR
Too Long–Didn’t Read: Fuck Off!
Author’s Note for 2021:
This was yet another ancient post marked for ‘Make-Over.’
Now this has been accomplished, albeit with a ‘soft’, ‘light’ finger on that ‘delete key.’
It was not my intent to change much about the original post in general, nor the ‘message’ in particular. My desire was mainly to bring it up to speed vis-à-vis my 2021 ‘Higher Production Standards’.
(That’s ‘tongue-in-cheek’, by the way, as if Y’all don’t already know this! Hahaha!)
This next is Not ‘tongue-in-cheek,’ however. It is sincerely serious.
When I originally ‘penned’ the post I was a little frustrated over ‘Bot’ likes and also, as I called them, ‘Drive-By Likers’ You know the breed (Even If you have been blogging only a short while).
The ‘Drive-By Liker’ surfs the WP Reader page and likes damn near everything, in an attempt, I surmise, to generate interest and traffic in His/Hers/Other’s blog site.
This used to piss me off.
Now it doesn’t.
Because I am more and more maturely humble these days as I find myself on ‘The Back Nine of Life’
And so now I give all the ‘Likes’ the benefit of my doubt and just appreciate them for what they are.
Long lost Abusive Muse sent me this email. (Remember her? I’ll drop her in at the end as an ‘Added Value Bonus Bit’.)
“Lance! Someone took the time to drop a ‘like’ on your dumb ass.
Be Happy with it! Never look a ‘Gift Like’ in the Mouth. Print it out and fuckin’ frame it.
Put it on your “I Like Me Wall” along with all the other ‘Real-Life’ bullshit accolades and awards you have dragged around with you over all these years. Fer Chrissakes! Get over yourself!”
“Love Ya. Mean it.”
–Ms Muse
***
Not everyone has time, nor even inclination to comment on every bloody post they ‘like’. I understand this now. That is just how some folks roll.
On the other hand, I will, ninety-nine percent of the time, leave a comment on every post I have liked.
This certainly does not mean I am the ‘better, kinder, gentler blogger.’ It just means that That is How I choose to Roll.
We are all different, unique, and worthy-of-respect individuals, and we approach blogging each to our own ends, and according to own philosophies (I have written extensively on this of late. See attached below: “Worthy Writers”)
*****
Back to THIS post:
I wanted it to be a fun, light-hearted, whimsical way for me to bitch, moan, and complain about a personal ‘Pet Peeve’ of mine.
I think I came close to accomplishing my goal back then. I have copy-pasta’d the comments from the original post at the bottom of this one.
But I had also posted some other posts related to the subject, which were a little more, shall we say, ‘direct-to-the meat’ of the matter.
“More matter, less art” as Gertrude said to Polonius in “Hamlet”.
I’d skip those old posts if I were you. I am certainly not proud of them.
Okay, there may be one or two exceptions to what I just wrote above. This below might be one of them. I had forgotten about it. I find it kind of endearing. You may too.
Or not.
Moving on…
I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, reading and writing and commenting being very close to the top of my ‘Opinion Hit Parade.’ Not always have I expressed these opinions in a respectful way.
I am working more and more toward the ‘respectful way’ of expressing my opinions these days. Lord knows, we have too much vitriol in our world to deal with already.
I do Not wish to contribute to That and if you catch me ‘back-sliding’, please call me out on it.
Respectfully,
Mister Lance A–AKA, ‘Eddie Haskell’ Marcom
Cred for Vid: “I Don’t-Give-A-Shit”
***
Alright! After All That ‘Preamble’ and if You-Are-Still-Here…
Here is the post I have been trying to post:
“A like is a like of course of course
“And everyone loves a like of course
“Unless of course
“The like is from the Famous Mister Ed…
(Who is just a horse and not a real person)
“Go right to the source and ask the horse…
“Do you read before you enforce
“That this is a post that you’d endorse?
“He’s always on a steady course…
“Talk to Mister Ed.”
Readers!
Readers!
“My Kingdom! For Readers!”
This rant is certainly not directed at those of you who actually read my scribblings. It is directed at those few, those happy few who… Never mind:
Y’all catch my drift, as I am certainly not the only one who experiences this.
And in Closing, Allow Me To Say This About That:
Please Don’t Hesitate To “Like” A Post Of Mine Now Because You Mistakenly Assume I Will Be Wondering,
“Where Is The Frickin’ Comment?”
I No Longer Think That Way
So ‘Like’ Away!!
Cheers To All My Good Friends Out There in ‘Radio Land’.
****
Comments from the original post below. (Best to start at the bottom and read your way up. Makes more sense that way.)
***
LAMarcom June 18, 2014 at 18:37 Edit
And likewise.
🙂
janeybgood June 18, 2014 at 15:53 Edit
No problem Lance, I’m glad to “meet” you 🙂
LAMarcom June 18, 2014 at 15:46 Edit
Bona-fide speed reader!
Awesome (I read fast too and sometimes I also out-type my brain, which can have unfortunate consequences….at times)
😉
Thank you very much for your visits and commentary.
Always makes my day to have feedback.
Cheers,
-Lance
janeybgood June 18, 2014 at 15:41 Edit
Believe if or not, I did read it that quickly because I’m just that good 🙂
Succinct and brilliant! I,like, totally liked it.
Teela Hart June 7, 2014 at 03:24 Edit
🙂
LAMarcom June 6, 2014 at 08:29 Edit
Of course.
😉
Teela Hart June 6, 2014 at 06:40 Edit
I’ve always loved Mr. Ed.
And a comment is a comment of course of course. 😀
LAMarcom June 6, 2014 at 00:18 Edit
Funny paradox, ain’t it? Catch 22?
LAMarcom June 6, 2014 at 00:15 Edit
Exactly how my mind works!
Hahahaha
Yep
Thanks for not being a ‘bot’.
Laughing. See? You made me laugh.
Now here is your token for a free Lone Star Beer redeemable at Lackland O Club only.
😉
happierheathen June 6, 2014 at 00:08 Edit
So, then, you’re writing for those who never read your stuff so won’t know of it anyway. It makes perfect sense to me.
*******
As Promised and Foretold:
If I Have Already Re-Posted This And It O-Friends You, You Are Cordially Invited To Kiss My Azz, J/K! I Am NOT Well. I Do Not Feel So Swell…
But I’m Gonna Make it.
I Never Fake It!
I Will Be Dying Very Soon.
“Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance”
(With Apologies to Robert M. Pirsig)
Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races!
A cheap thrill sensation
Brings joy and elation
With so much emoji
We’ll never be lonely
But cheap thrills ain’t lasting
Only forecasting
A sugary crash
Just a quick flash
It’s comments we want
No matter the font
Comments are golden
They fling the door open
Provide inspiration
Never inflation
True comments auspicious
And very propitious
Writers need feedback
Not smiley Prozac
If compelled to emoji
Don’t do that only
Take some small time
Drop a thin dime
Comment away
Make someone’s day
*****
(Yeah, I actually wrote that shit above)
Back in the day when I used to be a ‘writer’.
Years and Beers & Tears ago…
COMMENT ME!
PLEASE!
Cred: BlondieMusicOfficial
I’m off to the Rodeo!
Catch Y’all On The Flip Flop!
Rodeo Song, by Garry Lee and the Showdown
Cred for Vid Share: Manosphere Environment
Y’all Wanna Know The Worst Tactile Sensation Ever? Of Course You Do.
Of course you do.
Dirty Toilet Jokes: I Cussed My Toilet Out. Then I Felt Remorse. Apologized. I Dialed 911. When the EMT’s Arrived, They Were NOT Amused.
The Toilet Song by The Wiggles
Animation by Super Simple Songs
Of course you do.
It is when you go to flush the toilet and that handle snarls back at you, rather limp-wrist’d, as if to say,
“Not tonight Asshole. Go back to sleep.”
(Now, in some truth, I could probably improve this post. For example: I should not have referenced ‘limp wrists”. In truth, y’all know how it is when you go to flush that toilet and there just ain’t no resistance. “Limp Wrists’ was just about all I could manage at the time of publishing…. (Isn’t that funny? Like I am a fucking news paper?) Dead-lines!
Some one shoot me!
(Make it quick! Head Shot! Right thru the mouth–or better…the mouse.)
God and some foll’ers will thank you.
Foretelling ‘Foreboding’ (See? I tend to edit as as I go… My father once tole me, “Lance! Enuff! Enough! It takes an editor to be smart; that is why we make more monies.”) some deep sea-toilet trolling (trolling?) diving to fix.
Yeah…
Really?
Don’t think so.
Maybe tomorrow…
(There are three (other) toilets in this ‘Mouse-House’)
“So, fuck off.”
(My toilet did not reply)
Yes, I talk to my toilet… don’t we all?
“Take your hand off that mouse Mister! Don’t make me come over there.”
“Yessir! Please don’t shoot me; I’m just the piano-player.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. What do you think, Jim?”
“Yeah. Bullshit. Shoot him.”
“OK.”
Bang! Bang!
“He gone.”
(Sorry, Si Robertson; some of this … this is probably out-of-context)
Then again…
Maybe not.
We will not even begin to speak about your brother.
Damnit! I miss Christopher Hitchens!
Even more embarrassing
Been There….
Did That
At least More Than Thrice
But Who’s Countin’
Right?
You know the toilet is broke dick dog.
Yet…
You still try to ‘visit.’
And it takes three tries to get into the door.
(Yet, it is a really small door–just sayin’– and not so easily navigated, drunk nor sober)
Only to be so disappointed (yet again) over the the whole toilet experience.
OK.
Fine!
Resist?
Naw!
Below, please discover Lenny’s take on toilet-training.
(and of course: entertaining, or reasonable facsimile)
“Take This Toilet And Boil It.”
(Watch/Listen Below. Otherwise it all just falls apart)
Just like my fucking toilet.
“Dirty Word Problem”
: : :
Obscenity Bonus:
“Obscenity is a Human Manifestation”
–Lenny