OK. Very Last Re-Run, Then I’m Done. Believe me? Good. I Also Have A Bridge For-Sale, (Not Cheap, But Affordable)

“Glen Miller Kicked Some Serious Ass! Kinda-Sorta Updated–For Our Current ‘Happy Times’–Please Enjoy Please”

I Love Our Rich American Culture!
I love My Having Been Blessed

To Have Been Born An American.
And Yes!
I Am A Veteran!

Erstwhile Vegetarian

(… Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone; they will take away my Texan Citizenship)

(And A Patriot!)

And I love My Country!
Forever!

Wanna Test The Veracity of My Statement?

Well, Stand By For Heavy Rolls!

As The Shit Hits Your Fan!

I’ve got a Gal in Kalamazoo

Singer Cred: Tex Beneke.

Just Gotta Love A Guy Whose First Name is “TEX”

Cred for Lady Vocalist: Marion Hutton.

And Mad Props to all Them Other ‘Et-Als” Also Appearing.

Cred for Vid Share: afftechmei

***

Tuxedo Junction

Listen to the MC:

He says, and I quote:

“Here’s Glen Miller; he’s back with his horn and ready to beat it off.”

I ’bout fell out my chair when I heard that!

***

Chattanooga Choo Choo

Perhaps Y’all May Come To Understand my

Tennessee

FASCIN’ NATION-TION

Connection to this.

Sam Houston:

First President of

“The Republic of Texas

Former Guv of Tennessee, Drunkard. Great, Brave Man.

Soldier of the First Order

Military Genius

He Retains a Special Place In My Heart.

I Admire Him.

He married a Cherokee

“After running away from his family as a teenager, Houston lived for nearly three years with the Cherokee tribe in eastern Tennessee. …

There, the tribe formally adopted him, and he married a Cherokee woman, Tiana Rogers, in a tribal ceremony.”

*****

Right?

Right??

Fuckin’ Right???

GO NAVY!

BEAT ARMY!

Added Value Bonus/Onus/… Own us?

Whatever.

Bonus Below

I love these broads!

Cliché? Yeah,

But “The Greatest Generation” of our Nation.

Isn’t it amazin’ how we used to be a happy nation, even in the middle of a fucking World War? Somewhere we lost our lust of life and sense of humor. Now all we seem to wanna do is be assholes to one another….

Whoever don’t agree with our politics. Makes me fucking sad. Someone send me a time machine. I want live somewhere else, some other decade.

***

And just for fun:

I fucking LOVE AMERICA!

***

More Bonus/’Added-Value’ Bull-Shite

You’re Welcome

And Jesus Wept. “More Dispatches From The Front Lines Of My Facebook Flame Wars Featur-ett” No Regret!

Author’s Notes:

  1. My ‘War’ With Kent was better-natured than it may at first appear.
  2. No Gods were harmed during this war.
  3. Some mortal egos may have been bruised however.
  4. This post is a chocolate mess.

***

I once knew a Theist named Kent

Who told me his Joy Heaven Sent

But his mind slipped a gear

His faith fled in fear

So I gave up on Kent for Lent

***

What do you call a ‘Facebooker’ who accuses another ‘Facebooker’ of hacking his own post and then reports said ‘hacker’ to Facebook for hacking his own post and then posts on his timeline, in excruciating detail how he, using his stellar sleuth skillset, figured all this out?

Take your time…

OK, time’s up.

“A Self-Made Fool, Devoid of Logic, who plays the ‘Pity Me’ card because he wants to become a laughing stock for anyone who knows how Facebook actually works.” (And for some who don’t)

Or succinctly put, you call him “Kent”

But don’t take MY word for it; you can read some samples of his ‘piercing eloquence’ below:

***

To let everyone get a little good news or good thought or just bring a little happiness on Facebook. I try to be positive and enjoy getting in contact with others old and new friends.

Check my profile I want to share and be friendly with all post and maybe make a positive difference in as many peoples’ lives as I can. Try and let the good things in the world come to light. Every now and then I may post something negative but it is trying to make a positive difference.

This is as good of a world as you want it to be. I choose to try and stay away from the bad things in the world. There really is a lot of good going on out there. I want to enjoy and be as happy as I can. While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy.”

–Kent

***

Dear Kent,

“While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy”

***

Classic case of ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’

IMHO

Gibson’s “Hamlet” Is The Very BEST!

Even Better Than Sir Laurence Olivier

Who are you trying to convince of your “happy, happy, happy,” happiness?

You or ‘they’? All of ‘they’?

I think you, as do probably 99.99 percent of posters, just seek validation of your self-worth.

All are just ‘chasing likes’.

And this is fine—human nature, as it were.

I have read a lot of your posts on your timeline and your profile.

Sure.

And it seems to me your ‘happy happy happiness’ is primarily just a proselytizing form of sausage wrapped in a saccharine pancake smothered in syrup.

Once again, who are you trying to convince?

You?

Them?

Us?

Does your ‘faith’ require incessant posts requiring the great unwashed mass of the rest of us to “like, type ‘amen’, and share” if we too believe?

I’m actually not sure that I completely discount your sincerity, but it does tax credulity.

Marvelous much.

But you go Bro!

Keep posting your syrupy praises of God, Jesus, and whomever else gives you that happy,happy,happy.

Why the hell not?

Still a free country, eh?

Peace be unto you Kent.

Or perhaps that should have read,

‘Peace is onto you Kent.’

Cheers,     

Lance

***

My friend are you hell bent on trying to make people think you are an arrogant inconsiderate individual that places one under a microscope to disrespect their character coming to a narrow minded hypothesis attempting to destroy or manipulate their actions in such a manner that will somehow give you the feeling of superior intelligence that has no effect or the ability to change the individuals status or manner in which his goal to share and maybe bring a little faith and joy to their likes and beliefs.

Thank you.

I am only trying to stand strong by my spiritual beliefs. Sharing with those that I feel are doing the same. God bless you Lance. Thank you for two things. Bringing attention to others that my self worth and my ability to share my faith with others is of most importance to me.

I want nothing and I give God my Heavenly Father all the Praise and glory. For with out him I nor anyone or anything could be possible or exist. You should get what I have been blessed with.

Yes, you can be happy, happy,happy. Go for it it is a free Country. I truly believe you would have a different perspective on life in general and you can have topics that have a more sense of purpose. You are close what I think of my self is as important to me as what other think also.

I really appreciate your concern. At least you know the content of the majority of my post. This is my purpose to share with and post to my friends that enjoy and appreciate what I have to share. This is Facebook just as you shared your opinion you opened the door where I can share mine.

I hope you are not offended. This is not my intention and it will never be. God bless you Lance thank you for this humbling experience. Remember always give God all the praise and glory. Bless you once again.

–Kent

Dear Kent,

Your response is in serious need of an edit. Allow me to distill it down to the salient points:

  1. Lance is a pompous ass
  2. Lance believes (i.e., Lance has ‘Faith’—joke there for ya Kent) that he is the smartest person in the room.
  3. Kent is trying desperately to hang onto his faith by shit-posting endless memes over-expressing same, even though he freely admits that his intended audience already ‘believe’—preaching to the choir, as it were.
  4. Lance needs to ‘find’ God in order to be happy and have a sense of purpose.
  5. Lance needs to give an imaginary friend all the credit for everything Lance ever does. (I assume this includes both good and bad??)
  6. Lance needs to be blessed, and often, and by someone who knows how.
  7. That about cover it?
  8. You’re welcome

***

Dear Kent,

Lest I forget

I wrote these for you

Added a photo too

Share away!

Make someone’s day!

***

*Death Poetry Day*

He born

He torn

He die

He fry

*The End*

***

A post was once written

No one was smitten

I’d call that fittin’

Shit it was named

Its one claim to fame

Now that’s a damn shame

***

He once wrote a post

Lesser than most

Shit it was called

Comments were stalled

The content was trite

Just didn’t seem right

To waste all my time

Nor even a lime

To drop in my rum

Ho Hum! Ho Hum! Ho Hum!

(The lack of the lime was the least egregious of the sins)

***

A Cunt of a Man called Osteen

Built a Church so very Pristine

But he refused to let in

Those flooded in sin

“Fuck ‘em! They’re way too Unclean.”

“I know y’all love me. You need to get on social media. But First give Harvey-TheHurricane the ol’ heave-ho! God Blesses you, but I don’t. Move along. We’re closed.”
–Joel Osteen

“Oh My God, they Killed them all!”

Here comes the story of the Hurricane.

Bob Dylan et. al.

P.S. I Absolutely ADORE The Lady Violinist In This Vid!

She Looks SO Intense!

“WoW! Who would’ve ever thought they’d find me doing God’s work?”
–Lance

***

“Lil Kim’s got the hydrogen bomb”
His news bitch announced in singsong
“He’ll mount it one day
“And launch it your way
“Then smartly fuck off to Hong Kong”
So rong!”

***

There once was a boy name of Kim
Who decided to act on a whim
He launched a big bomb
In the direction of Guam
And that was the ending of him!

***

In a Loon we call Kim Jong-Un
The World sees a silly buffoon
But he put up his Dukes
Oh Fuck me; They’re Nukes!
And The World is now singing new tunes!
(So soon?)

Cheers Kent,

–Lance

***

‘A Celestial North Korea’

Credit: Christopher Hitchens

***

A full week has passed

Since Jon GOT that ass

Even Dany GOT pleased

By Crow’s bended knees

And now we must fast for Season The Last

(And That’s The GOTcha)

Bonus Content Below:

The Most Lovely and Captivating and Charmingly Endearing Emilia

***

The Iron Throne – Game of Thrones’ AWFUL final episode

Vid Content Cred: Critical Drinker

***

If’n Y’all Don’t catch my drift, my sense O’Humor…

Yu are Properly FUCKED!

S’natch, Proper Fucked

“What Did He Say?”

Cred Fot Vid: Jabba MTA

I Did Promise Music and Laughter: I Kind of Lied (BTW: All Lives Matter)

I Beg Your Pardon…

Creds: Lynn Anderson

I actually gave this some serious thought earlier today.

And truthfully I was inspired by a post I read over yonder at

P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S.

We were talking about optimism.

Well Sharon was but it got me to thinking.

(Scary, yeah.)

Anyhow, I had this post develop in my head. A post about good and bad. A post about optimism and pessimism. A post about Human Decency.

Then I promised me: I Promised me I would not post it because it might sound too preachy, but when we fall away from stating the obvious, because “it has been said too many times before,” well then we forget. And dammit! Some of us need reminding from time to time.

So, here it is:

I have spoken on ‘racism’ before.

Nothing Like a Dame

No Preacher: me.

Just a schmuck.

But I love this movie.

Here are some links, if ya wanna read some scholarly shit:

 

 

 

Continue reading

I Did Promise You Music and Laughter, But Never A Rose Garden: Lance-On-His-Soap-Box. “Climb Down & STFU Lance!” “OK, But I’ll Be Back. Count On That!”

I actually gave this some serious thought earlier today.

And truthfully I was inspired by a post I read over yonder at

P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S.

We were talking about optimism.

Well Sharon was but it got me to thinking.

(Scary, yeah.)

Anyhow, I had this post develop in my head. A post about good and bad. A post about optimism and pessimism. A post about Human Decency.

Then I promised me: I Promised me I would not post it because it might sound too preachy, but when we fall away from stating the obvious, because “it has been said too many times before,” well then we forget. And dammit! Some of us need reminding from time to time.

So, here it is:

I have spoken on ‘racism’ before.

Nothing Like a Dame

No Preacher: me.

Just a schmuck.

But I love this movie.

Here are some links, if ya wanna read some scholarly shit:

 

 

 

Continue reading

Yeah. This is Warmed-Over Shite. Ask Me How Many Fuks I Give. DO NOT READ THIS ONE EITHER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! “More Dispatches From The Front Lines Of My Facebook Flame Wars”

Author’s Notes:

  1. My ‘War’ With Kent was better-natured than it may at first appear.
  2. No Gods were harmed during this war.
  3. Some mortal egos may have been bruised however.
  4. This post is a chocolate mess.

***

I once knew a Theist named Kent

Who told me his Joy Heaven Sent

But his mind slipped a gear

His faith fled in fear

So I gave up on Kent for Lent

***

What do you call a ‘Facebooker’ who accuses another ‘Facebooker’ of hacking his own post and then reports said ‘hacker’ to Facebook for hacking his own post and then posts on his timeline, in excruciating detail how he, using his stellar sleuth skillset, figured all this out?

Take your time…

OK, time’s up.

“A Self-Made Fool, Devoid of Logic, who plays the ‘Pity Me’ card because he wants to become a laughing stock for anyone who knows how Facebook actually works.” (And for some who don’t)

Or succinctly put, you call him “Kent”

But don’t take MY word for it; you can read some samples of his ‘piercing eloquence’ below:

***

To let everyone get a little good news or good thought or just bring a little happiness on Facebook. I try to be positive and enjoy getting in contact with others old and new friends.

Check my profile I want to share and be friendly with all post and maybe make a positive difference in as many peoples’ lives as I can. Try and let the good things in the world come to light. Every now and then I may post something negative but it is trying to make a positive difference.

This is as good of a world as you want it to be. I choose to try and stay away from the bad things in the world. There really is a lot of good going on out there. I want to enjoy and be as happy as I can. While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy

–Kent

***

Dear Kent,

“While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy”

Classic case of ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’

Who are you trying to convince of your “happy, happy, happy,” happiness?

You or ‘they’? All of ‘they’?

I think you, as do probably 99.99 percent of posters, just seek validation of your self-worth.

All are just ‘chasing likes’.

And this is fine—human nature, as it were.

I have read a lot of your posts on your timeline and your profile.

Sure.

And it seems to me your ‘happy happy happiness’ is primarily just a proselytizing form of sausage wrapped in a saccharine pancake smothered in syrup.

Once again, who are you trying to convince?

You?

Them?

Us?

Does your ‘faith’ require incessant posts requiring the great unwashed mass of the rest of us to “like, type ‘amen’, and share” if we too believe?

I’m actually not sure that I completely discount your sincerity, but it does tax credulity.

Marvelous much.

But you go Bro!

Keep posting your syrupy praises of God, Jesus, and whomever else gives you that happy,happy,happy.

Why the hell not?

Still a free country, eh?

Peace be unto you Kent.

Or perhaps that should have read,

‘Peace is onto you Kent.’

Cheers,     

Lance

***

My friend are you hell bent on trying to make people think you are an arrogant inconsiderate individual that places one under a microscope to disrespect their character coming to a narrow minded hypothesis attempting to destroy or manipulate their actions in such a manner that will somehow give you the feeling of superior intelligence that has no effect or the ability to change the individuals status or manner in which his goal to share and maybe bring a little faith and joy to their likes and beliefs.

Thank you.

I am only trying to stand strong by my spiritual beliefs. Sharing with those that I feel are doing the same. God bless you Lance. Thank you for two things. Bringing attention to others that my self worth and my ability to share my faith with others is of most importance to me.

I want nothing and I give God my Heavenly Father all the Praise and glory. For with out him I nor anyone or anything could be possible or exist. You should get what I have been blessed with.

Yes, you can be happy, happy,happy. Go for it it is a free Country. I truly believe you would have a different perspective on life in general and you can have topics that have a more sense of purpose. You are close what I think of my self is as important to me as what other think also.

I really appreciate your concern. At least you know the content of the majority of my post. This is my purpose to share with and post to my friends that enjoy and appreciate what I have to share. This is Facebook just as you shared your opinion you opened the door where I can share mine.

I hope you are not offended. This is not my intention and it will never be. God bless you Lance thank you for this humbling experience. Remember always give God all the praise and glory. Bless you once again.

–Kent

Dear Kent,

Your response is in serious need of an edit. Allow me to distill it down to the salient points:

  1. Lance is a pompous ass
  2. Lance believes (i.e., Lance has ‘Faith’—joke there for ya Kent) that he is the smartest person in the room.
  3. Kent is trying desperately to hang onto his faith by shit-posting endless memes over-expressing same, even though he freely admits that his intended audience already ‘believe’—preaching to the choir, as it were.
  4. Lance needs to ‘find’ God in order to be happy and have a sense of purpose.
  5. Lance needs to give an imaginary friend all the credit for everything Lance ever does. (I assume this includes both good and bad??)
  6. Lance needs to be blessed, and often, and by someone who knows how.
  7. That about cover it?
  8. You’re welcome

***

Dear Kent,

Lest I forget

I wrote these for you

Added a photo too

Share away!

Make someone’s day!

***

*Death Poetry Day*

He born

He torn

He die

He fry

*The End*

***

A post was once written

No one was smitten

I’d call that fittin’

Shit it was named

Its one claim to fame

Now that’s a damn shame

***

He once wrote a post

Lesser than most

Shit it was called

Comments were stalled

The content was trite

Just didn’t seem right

To waste all my time

Nor even a lime

To drop in my rum

Ho Hum! Ho Hum! Ho Hum!

(The lack of the lime was the least egregious of the sins)

***

A Cunt of a Man called Osteen

Built a Church so very Pristine

But he refused to let in

Those flooded in sin

“Fuck ‘em! They’re way too Unclean.”

“I know y’all love me. You need to get on social media. But First give Harvey-TheHurricane the ol’ heave-ho! God Blesses you, but I don’t. Move along. We’re closed.”
–Joel Osteen

“My God, they killed them all!”

Here comes the story of the Hurricane.

Bob Dylan

The Female Fiddle Player is So Intense.

I Love Her!

“WoW! Who would’ve ever thought they’d find me doing God’s work?”
–Lance

***

“Lil Kim’s got the hydrogen bomb”
His news bitch announced in singsong
“He’ll mount it one day
“And launch it your way
“Then smartly fuck off to Hong Kong”
So rong!”

***

There once was a boy name of Kim
Who decided to act on a whim
He launched a big bomb
In the direction of Guam
And that was the ending of him!

***

In a Loon we call Kim Jong-Un
The World sees a silly buffoon
But he put up his Dukes
Oh Fuck me; They’re Nukes!
And The World is now singing new tunes!
(So soon?)

Cheers Kent,

–Lance

***

‘A Celestial North Korea’

Credit: Christopher Hitchens

***

A full week has passed

Since Jon GOT that ass

Even Dany GOT pleased

By Crow’s bended knees

And now we must fast for Season The Last

(And That’s The GOTcha)

Bonus Content Below:

The Most Lovely and Captivating and Charmingly Endearing Emilia

***

The Iron Throne – Game of Thrones’ AWFUL final episode

Vid Content Cred: Critical Drinker

***

If’n Y’all Don’t catch my drift, my sense O’Humor…

Yu are Properly FUCKED!

S’natch, Proper Fucked

“What Did He Say?”

Cred Fot Vid: Jabba MTA

How Many More Times must I re-post this b4 it sticks?-Post. Don’t Bother. I do This Only Because I Have Always Been In Love & Respect With Vanessa. And of Course, Lauren Bacall. “Humility Industrial Complex” or, “What Do The Simple Folk Do?”

Queen Jenny

******

Humilité

Try it.

You might just like it.

Vanessa is so very beautiful

(And ‘almost’ a Redhead, and Y’all faithful readers know what Redheads do to this cowboy…)

Okay,
So I have been ‘reviewing’ my recent posts on Socialist Media.
For science.
And to take my mental pulse.
What did I discover?

With my two minutes of ‘research.’
I seem to be full of myself.
This is probably a ‘diagnose-able’ condition.
Doubtful I can get medical treatment.
And even more doubtful,
Could  get recompense from the VA even if it were.

“Humility” is just a scare word invented by The Left to keep the rest of us inline.
“Hugh-mill-ah-tee’
(That’s the Français version, Yawl)
Stolen from the movie, “Camelot” 1967

Spoken to Lancelot du Lac by Queen Guinevere.

(Just some small detail to round out the post. I am a fountain of useless knowledge.)

Moving on…

I am having too much fun!
Living (Finally! Living!) in Tejas!

Time enough to do those little things I do.
Finally!

Chapter Three of ‘Escape From Memphis’ coming…
Soon.
So, stay tuned.

****

Uh? Too Soon?

For Once, I didn’t sleep past noon.

https://texantales.com/2021/09/19/escape-from-memphis-chapter-three-shawn-2/

 

Cheers,
‘Many-Feet Marcom’

So go ahead:

Whistle

You know you want to.

And of course, You Knew I Just Had To:

“You Know How to Whistle, Don’t You Steve?”
“Yeah, I’m simple.”
The ironic thing is…
I cannot whistle (Daddy could not either)
Must be one of those ‘genetic fatal flaws’–

Of which I have far too many to count.

****

Post Script:

Baby kisses Bogie
“Waddya do that for?” he asks.
“Ben wondering if I’d like it”
“What’s the verdict?”
Bacal Kisses him again, through the cigarette smoke.
“Don’t know yet. It’s even better when you help.”
And on and on…
Watch the clip.
Then you will find that ‘added value.”
Back in the early Nineties, I returned to University.
Freshly pressed and depressed and out of the Navy.
Took a class entitled:
‘Literature and Film.’
Had to write a term paper.
I chose to write on
“To Have and Have Not”
Took me about 30 minutes to write.
AT THAT LAST minute.
As I do…
The ‘Course’ was taught by the Head of the English Department at ET (now known as Texas A&M-at Commerce.)
What I did NOT know, at the time, was that the prof, was working / writing a bio of Humphrey Bogart.
Had I’d known, I would have picked a safer topic.
But I did not know.
Wrote my ‘term paper’ drunk outta my mind.
Day before it was ‘due.’
Got an A Plus
Go Figure.
PS: Wish I had retained a copy of that paper.
It really was THAT good.
But.
Alas.
No.