Category Archives: Honey Grove

“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?” Trust Me: Impossible. Don’t Even Try. So Mny Things I Wish I’d Told Her… But Now, Impossible.

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“Maria” (And some guy)

Madelyn & Me!

Me & Madelyn!

Me and She

On-The-Stage!

Together!

Stars!

She & Me!

Me & She!

We had to share The Spotlight, but

“The Play”

Was always about

HER

Not Me

As it should be.

*******

She ‘Maria’ to My ‘Cap’n Von Trapp’

“Sound of Music” HS Play: Circa 1975

(Every so often, Script demanded we ‘kiss’—We never did during rehearsals.)

During one rehearsal, when the script DEMANDED a kiss, and RIGHT NOW!

We didn’t. We did not kiss.

Some fellow ‘actor’ shouted, “Hey! Y’all didn’t do the kiss! How are Y’all gonna do a believable kiss on stage if you don’t rehearse?

Madelyn didn’t miss a beat and coolly replied,

“We rehearse our kisses every night.

When we are at home.

Alone.

So don’t worry.”

Opening night, we kissed, not unlike two horny teens. It was painful. (For her. Not for me! I had been waiting for years to kiss her!)

And right before we kissed, live on stage, in front of about three hundred audience, she whispered to me,

“You better not slip me no tongue.”

So… guess what I did?

Yep.

“C’est Française, n’est-ce-pas?“

She was NOT Amused, but she pulled it off, non·plussed

As if nothing untoward had just happened.

***

OK. I am sober now. Slept off my drunk.

Easy.

I have Slept Off thousands of drunks in my day.

Got that routine down pat.

Could not sleep off my sorrow over losing my

MY

My Dear Madelyn:

New unchartered waters for me.

Never have I lost a sister.

My heart is broke, but this is not gonna be about me.

Lord knows I write too much about me and my narcissism.

This is about My Sister, My Madelyn.

My intent is to write and write and write about her for the next few days until I run out of virtual ink in my virtual pen.

Some of you out there in ‘Radio Land’ knew her.

If you have any memories to share, now would be the time.

This may come across as ‘sick’ to you, read in the harsh light of present day:

But, if I am being honest with my feelings, I must write them.

Since Madelyn and I were not actually ‘blood relations’ there were more than a few times when we were tempted.

Tempted to be much more than step-brother and step-sister.

There for damn sure was a mutual physical and cerebral attraction.

But… we were ‘mature’ enough, even back then, mature enough to understand that we could not go there, however much we, at times, desperately wanted to.

We wanted to ‘go there.’

Oh My God!

How we wanted to ‘Go There’!

We didn’t.

But It would have been so easy.

C’ly I Love You So Very Much!

I Know Nothin’ Stys The Sme (my eh key is still Broken–Fuk it! I’ll Work ‘Round It!)

We had the entire third floor of Marcom Manor to ourselves.

The parents were often gone for days at a time.

Leaving us to ‘fend’ for ourselves.

For the sake of ‘The Family’… we didn’t.

Go there.

We didn’t go there.

Some small part of me wishes we had.

But if we had, this would be quite a different post than the one I am writing right now.

Over all the years there were so many things I wanted to say to Madelyn, but shit always seemed to get in the way.

Now, my mind is racing with all those words left unsaid.

Never to be said, at least not in this place, this alone place I find me in.

I suppose I can just cast this one out into the ether:

“Madelyn, I love/loved you!”

But she cannot hear me now, can she?

“How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?”

********

This Song very well, and very accurately, describes Madelyn.

She was always a ‘Problem.’

But!

She was SO Fucking charming!

Could NEVER be angry at her.

Never!

Not for a moment!

She could melt / play you with a smile.

(And she knew this power she had)

And trust me Folks,

She wielded it.

With reckless abandon.

(Much to my chagrin at times)

I could never get away with shit.

Madelyn did.

Every day!

Every-Fucking-Time!

**********

I cannot continue this.

At this moment.

But I will come back.

And sooner than later

https://texantales.com/2021/03/14/twisted-duet-just-one-more-madelyn-memory/

Gretchen:

“Madelyn had a horse once: a cross between a Shetland pony and a Welsh mare. Now, I really don’t know much about horses and during that time I knew even less, but I really did want to play cowboy, so I decided to make friends with the local “real cowboy” and have him teach me how to ride this animal. I was about twelve going on thirteen at the time.

The problem with this horse was that it was a pet. Madelyn had talked my father into buying it for her not long after she and her mom moved in (I was not yet on the scene; was still living with my grandparents.

I suppose I arrived some months after the horse). Anyway, she soon lost interest in Gretchen (is that a proper horse name?) hence, she (Gretchen) never ever got ridden; (I cannot speak for Madelyn.) This will become important later in my story.”

***

Leroy:

First he was taken by Kim. Kim got bored with him and gave him to my step-sister Madelyn. She thought he was just the coolest thing ever!

For about three days…

His coolness factor having for her it seems, a very short half-life, I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse for her coon: Cash Money. Money’s coolness factor has no half-life. She was only too happy to surrender Leroy to my care for the tidy sum of thirty-five bucks. Quite tidy indeed to an unemployed High School girl in 1974.

********

My heart is broken.

I miss you Madelyn!

You were so much more than my sister.

I was so forever in love

With

You

With You

OK. Now I am Drunk again.

Seems I have come ‘Full-Circle.’

I am gonna stop fucking around with this post and just wallow in my grief.

I miss My Sis

I Am Doll Parts, Or… “How I Came to Live in The Shit Hole Garage Apartment Which was not Really a Garage Apartment, but only a Shit-Hole Underneath a Garage Apartment.”

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“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

Yes, I’m In-Love With Courtney Love.

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

Redundant?

Yes, I Know

 

Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.

Madelyn My Sister (step-sister)

“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?”

was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.

I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.

Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.

Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm’ (just like this place) to be sure.

How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.

And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).

Continue reading →

Regurgitated Shi… N/M. “Facebook Philosophy” (One of the Vids Got Sucked Down-The-Memory Hole–Perhaps I’ll ‘Fix’ That Later, But Please Do NOT Hold Yer Bated Breath)

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And I DO Apologize for Word-Press. Whose Total Tonnage Of Inadequacy Would Sink The Mighty Bismarck

****

WOODSTOCK! I Would’ve been THERE, But, ALAS: I Had Been ‘Grounded’

Not to Mention The Paralyzed Fact That I was Too Young to Have a

Driver’s License

Max Yasgur’s Farm

Or…

“Find The Cost Of Freedom”

I Cannot Find The Orig Poster To Credit.  Fuk It!

****

I Recently Posted this on Facebook (not sure why)

******

“To All My Facebook Friends:

I love to ‘share’ stuff.

(This is the ‘primary purpose’ of FB as I understand it)

Some of the things I ‘share’ are good.

Some other things not so much.

But I share anyway. 

Why?

  1. Because I can

  2. Because I want to

  3. Because it makes me happy.

  4. Because I am ‘generous.’

  5. And I try to make people happy (If only for a moment)

Yep. I am generous.

To a fault.

I will give you the shirt off my back if it will do you more good than me.

I will give you my food, my booze, my car.

I will give you almost anything I own.

Because I do not care about material things.

The only thing I will not give you is My Life.

(There has been only one time I was ready to give my life for a friend, and that happened one Labour Day back in the Early Seventies)

I am older now and hopefully somewhat wiser.

And have become so ‘loving jealous’ of my life of late.

“Life is for learning.”

–Joni Mitchell

*********

(Just for reference in case you are new here):

https://texantales.com/2022/09/13/cowards-die-many-times-before-their-deaths-the-valiant-never-taste-of-death-but-once-w-shakespeare/

https://texantales.com/2014/01/30/cowards-die-many-times-before-their-deaths-the-valiant-never-taste-of-death-but-once-w-shakespeare/

Just a little more “added value”

If you have come this far,

You must surely know by now how much I love Joni.

Original “Woodstock”

Song.

Sung by

A Poet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjQCvfcXn0

 

 

A Rare Gem

A Treasure.

A Woman (of Heart and Mind)

An Angel.

(There is no thumbnail)

Trust me!

It is Joni!

Watch and listen!

Try this one:

(These two below, actually)

There is never enough Joni in my World.

If you do not love Joni,

Well,

You have probably taken a wrong turn at

Albuquerque.

And should not be here.

Go back to California.

Or Egypt.

Or Cat-Man-Don’t.

Or

Whatever Planet You Call “Home.”

These days.

I Love You So Much Joni!

Oh Fuck it!

I will revisit this when I am sober.

Fuck it!

WordPress is obviously 

Broken.

WP and I have this in common:

We are both…

Broken.

Fuck it!

“Is it all books and words? Or do you really feel it? Do you really care? Do you really smile. When you smile?”

 

And since I am rather fond of complete sentences

(and closure)

I just feel compelled to drop this bit in.

(For those few, those happy few, who actually “get” me.

And my sense of humor.)

If I keep dropping mindless shit into this post, I am going to lose my fucking mind.

But I suppose this “Post” Was All About Some Of The Favorite Things I Love To Share.

Now.

Fess up.

Wasn’t it?

Fuck it.

You should not have come this far.

Go Away.

(This one is just for Lance.)

Vid credit: Boston 4 Evaa

“Say, can I have some of your purple berries?”
“Yes, I’ve been eating them for six or seven weeks now. Haven’t got sick once.”
“Probably keep us both alive.”

I keep ‘sharing’.

But that was the entire point of this entire exercise.

Now,

Wasn’t it?

And just to tie up this thought process…

“Few of My Favorite Things.”

Someday, this post is gonna end.

I am gonna keep milking this cow until she be dry.

(Yes! I am insane!)

Please try to forgive me.

Or not.

Really do not care.

At this point.

“Sharing is Caring.”

Laughing out LOUD!

(I do NOT Subscribe to the “Social Justice Warrior” Magazine.)

‘Cuz I am an asshole.

But then, you’d know that….already.

Thank you if you have read this post.

I am not so much of an ass that I cannot appreciate any time you have spent here.

Thank You.

“Guess I’ll set a course and go.”

ZERO FUCKS GIVEN!

Oy vay!

Preach On My Brother!

The Church of ‘Fuck You’

https://www.scribd.com/book/485845652/The-Church-of-Fuck-You-Holy-Shit-Edition

I Tried To Tone The Title Down A Mite (Ever Try To Tone Down A Mite?–Exercise in Futility) A Thousand Apologies To Anyone I May Have Inadvertently Offended.

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I Just MISS My Sister. Fuck Everything! I do Not Give a Shit FOR Life Without Her in it to Talk To!

Read if you have want. Yeah! I am bitter! Madelyn! Godamn Her! I Did NOT Give Her My Permission To Die!

Fuck The World! Twisted Duet (Just One More Madelyn Memory…)
https://texantales.com/2022/08/04/twisted-duet-just-one-more-madelyn-memory-4/

She Died On Me! She Was Always So Popular! The Phone Rang Off The Wall! The Call Was Always For her! Never For Me! “Lance is an asshole! Talk to Madelyn—She is Nice”—

Bullshit! She was Not Nice To Anyone But Me. In Her Heart. We Knew and Understood “The Game” But We Never Verbalized it; We Did Not Have To”

I miss her so much

I cannot write anymore on this right now.

I’ll get back to it.

My heart is still broken.

Some may ponder

Wonder

Why

I Love her so much

Here is the reason

For All Seasons

She Always Stood By Me

Through thick and Thin

She was My Athena,

She

shielded

Me

From the World

(Even When I was in Iraq)

She was always there for me

Constant as the Northern Star

Change the name from ‘Richard’ to ‘Madelyn’

Then You May Catch My Drift:

Fuck it!

This was The Joni I wished to share!

So There!

Constantly in the darkness?

Where’s that at?

If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.:

Joni is such a complicated / fascinating brilliant woman,

as was my Madelyn, my sister

My much loved and missed sis

Goddamn I Miss her!

****

Lance & His B’Loved Sis:

I truly wish I had more pics, but I don’t–my misfortune, not yours.

The Untimely Loss of her… fuck it!

I have said it all before.

But I am sad.

I cannot put it more succinctly than that

I Miss Her

Now You’re Not Here Bitch!

Sit Down, STFU, and Never Leave Me Again!

https://texantales.com/2021/08/30/how-do-you-hold-a-moonbeam-in-your-hand/

William Henry–Tale Of A Moron–This Time, Not Me. (If I Only Had A Brain–I’d Take It Out & Play Texas High-School Football With It)

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Football Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

(And IQ’s)

TEXAS FOREVER!

PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO

Of COURSE I read the book.

Thrice.

 

 

Back in 1974 I found myself at Warrior Stadium, Watching the HG Warriors kick the ever’ loving shit outta those Fannindale (dale?, del?)  Ladonia! I was born in that town, ’57! Guess I can call their football team what-ever-the-fuck I want…  Falcons.

I should have been on the field, but I had opted out my senior year, because I was tired of the whole “Friday Night Lights” shit.

And I was too busy.

Seated on opposite sides of me were Joe Whitley (Who was a math teacher and a rancher and father of my girlfriend, and also my employer) and William Henry—Local Big Boy and World – Famous Drunk.

Local lore and legend has it that William Henry once killed an entire gallon of Mogen-David wine without taking a single breath. And was able to walk away under his own power.

We were seated near the top of the stadium, nearly to the “Press Box.”

William Henry looked behind and spied something that interested him.

Behind the stands was the ‘Practice Field’ of the Famed Honey Grove Warriors.

There was a ‘Blaster Machine’ parked there.

Joe and I watched William Henry navigate down the stands and make his way toward same.

We watched with great curiosity as William Henry studied this machine.

He backed up ‘bout fifty foot and charged head-long into it.

Boom!

It slid back ‘bout ten feet.

He shook his head.

Went back another fifty foot.

Charged again.

Hit it full force.

Boom!

Slid back another ten foot.

William Henry in earnest now hit it with all his might (and his head)

Boom!

Still did not get through.

(Blaster Machines are a one – way street)

Joe and I watched him navigate his way back up to our seat.

He sat down, and with blood running into his eyes, said,

“Ya know, you gotta be one tough sumbitch to play football!”

True Story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_3yfyhmNc8

 

Top 10 Best Friday Night Lights Moments

Cred: MsMojo

And As A ‘Pissed-Off Aside, Some Times, When I Am Trying To ‘Share’ A Vid, I Have Time To Take A Shit, Shower, And Shave. Get Drunk And Also Sober Up While Waiting For The Vid To Up-Load!

Good Gawd! What Year Is This? 1999?

C’mon Internet! Cross That Bridge Into The 21st Century!

***

Kinda, Slightly, Up-Dated. And Y’all Just Know, I Am Inherently Lyin’…. “How I came to live in the Shit Hole Garage Apartment which was not really a garage apartment, but only a Shit Hole underneath a garage apartment”

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“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.”

 

Memory fails, but I have pieced together something approaching honest fact. I lost my posh digs at Ponderosa Apartments, and was forced to down-size.

Madelyn, My Sis,

was living large in the ‘Proper Garage Apartment’ and was ‘in good’ with the Landlord. She informed me he had this ‘wonderful little apartment’ for rent, which was ‘just perfect’ for me. Read CHEAP.

I checked it out, paid my fifty bucks and moved in. The moving in took all of two minutes, for I had not much to move.

Working for Ruth at her Liquor store in Ladonia and making a solid three dollars fifty cents an hour (plus ‘benefits), it was indeed, ‘perfect’ for me.

Now mind you, I never complained about living in such a place. After all, it did suit me and no one would have cared anyhow if it didn’t. It had some kind of ‘certain charm’ (just like this place) to be sure.

How many folks could invite a guest into their home and lead them past the shitter before arriving into the living room/bedroom/kitchen/study proper? As far as I knew, I had the only such place in all of Commerce. It was special.

And truth be told, I did some ‘entertaining’ there a couple of times. The only person who I would invite over was my girlfriend. She never judged me. She was always happy to be with me, no matter the venue. (Yes, that sounds conceited, but there it is Gentle Reader—c’est vrai, or quel dommage, or… choose your own français).

Continue reading →