I re-post this b’buz my stupursirty is well- documented, “Throw-Back: “The Cowards Never Started and the Weak Died Along the Way” I Died Along The Way. But I Wern’t No Coward.

And Yet One More Post From the email Archives:

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Please tell me all about your therapy session today once it is done. I know a little about back trouble as I went through some during my Navy SEAL training. I know there is nothing worse than that for pain. There were several days during that training whereby I thought it would be better to be dead than run/swim yet another step. Somehow we always managed just one more step. “The only easy day was yesterday” was our mantra and that had been passed down over the years to all BUD/s classes.

There was one guy in my first class (Class 140) who actually broke his femur during a fun little evolution called “Rock Portage.” For two days he remained in training after that. His roommates would walk him about every morning until his leg got numb. Obviously he couldn’t keep up on any of the evolutions and the SEAL instructors kicked him out. No one knew his leg was broken. Once he was drummed out and had gone to Balboa Naval Hospital they told him he had a broken femur. Imagine his surprise!

Rock-portage1

Rock Portage

Hahahah!  A footnote: Seems his father was a retired SEAL. Well when daddy found out how his son had been kicked out of training for having a broken leg, yet still “putting out” to use the vernacular, he was, shall we say, livid. Needless to say, the kid in question was apologized to (ad nauseam) and invited to return once healed so that he would have an opportunity to break the other leg. I talked to him about this and he told me he’d had enough, but then I ran into him a few weeks later and he told me he would be coming back. It takes a special kind of idiot to go through that. I know, as I was just such an idiot. Twice. I suppose that’s why they call it “Special Forces.”

We had a guy in my second BUD/s class (158) whose name was Lundtmark. One day while we were running the obstacle course he got to the very top of the cargo net (roughly 60 feet above the beach) and fell off.

cargo net1

Whoosh!

Bam!

Boom!

Cloud of dust!

He survived, but from that day forward Lundtmark was reborn and known as “Sand-Dart.”

Some of the funniest moments I recall were during “Drown Proofing.” Drown-proofing is quite simple: one’s ankles are tied up and one’s wrists tied together behind one’s back. Then the “wog” (Short for pollywog, a neophyte, wanna-be SEAL) must simply swim 100 meters in 12 foot deep water. Once that is accomplished, the wog must do some acrobatic maneuvers underwater while still tied up and then somehow get to the bottom and pick up a scuba mask with his teeth and bring it to the edge of the pool where the instructors await to pull him out and beach him. All great fun.

I never had any apprehension with this evolution since I am very relaxed in water. Others had slightly more trouble. One idiot after being cast into the water did nothing but bob up and down screaming, “I’m drowning! I’m drowning! Save me!” As he would get close to the edge of the pool the instructors would push him back toward the middle using long poles while yelling, “You idiot! If you were drowning, you wouldn’t be able to say you’re drowning!” It was all great fun, but I suspect you’d have had to actually been there at that precise moment to fully appreciate it.

drownproofing

Drownproofing

Another idiot didn’t even make it into the water. His name was “Feather.” (His name really was Feather and he was a body-builder which made him a target of opportunity for the instructors’ “special attention.”) Well, seems Feather had second thoughts about BUD/s and his desire to “Kill some Commie Bastards” when it came time for drown-proofing. As soon as we were told to start getting tied up, Feather bolted. He actually ran away! Just like a little bitch. Never saw him again.

He’s probably still running…

“Anchors Aweigh Feather!

You Fucking Pussy.”

Street Cred For Shared Vid: James Madison Williams & Joseph

Fukkin’A. Douche Bag–Ditty Bag! I Love My Navy! I Should NOT Drink So Much! No One’s Gonna Watch Anyway. Go Ahead! Ask Me How Many Fuks I Give!

In The Navy!

Tongue in Cheeks

Some Dumb-Ass Old Brass Hat In the Nav Used this As A Recruitment Ad–Until Someone Informed Him the Band Was Gay.

I Still LMFAO

When I Recall

Fuk Me!

Navy!

My Navy!

I Love MY NAVY!

Cred: I think–I drink: Nik D’Agostino

I’m Popeye The Sailor-Man

I Live In A Garbage Can

I’m Strong to the ‘Finnish

Cause I Eats Me Spinach

“Toot Toot”

NAVY!

“Midway”

******

Anchors Aweigh!

Well At Least I Showed Up. Twice! — “Running In Soft Sand: Intro”

Since I seem to still be in

“Military Madness Mode”

Surf Passage:

So Much

FUN!

*****

We Called This Below,

The “Budweiser”

Because We Had A Sense Of Humor

IF You Got Caught With One Of These Uniform Pins While Still In Training….

God Will Not Save You

Just Ask My Roommate From Class One-Forty

I Think The BUD/s Instructors Properly Disposed of His Body

(It was Never Found)

This Bud’s Not For You Marcom!

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“Drown Proofing:

“Military Madness”

In an upstairs room in Blackpool
By the side of a northern sea
The army had my father
And my mother was having me
Military Madness was killing my country
Solitary Sadness comes over me
After the school was over and I moved

To the other side
I found a different country but I never

Lost my pride
Military Madness was killing the country

Solitary sadness creeps over me
And after the wars are over
And the body count is finally filed
I hope that The Man discovers
What’s driving the people wild
Military madness is killing your country

So much sadness, between you and me
War, War, War, War, War, War

–Graham Nash

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This is Post One of a New old Series (and one I promise to be faithful to)

I will regale y’all with all my Navy SEAL BUD/s training reckless, feckless experiences. Reliving it for me, is better than it actually was. (Trust me on this one) 

However, before we dive in, you may want to watch the below. For if you do, you will get so much more ‘value’ out of my words (also found below)

I was in Class One Forty and Class One Fifty Eight, but some things (in SEALs) are always constantly constant)

So, here we go….

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Zero Four. Alarm going off! I knock it off the nightstand. It whimpers for an instant and then grows silent. “Now Run Tell That!” as Peanut would say.

Four o’clock!? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Where am I? Who am I? Do I need to ‘be’ someplace at four-oh-fucking-clock? Of course I do. I start to remember, shaking some dust from my addled mind. I need to be in Coronado. At BUD/s. And I need to be there by zero-five. Fuck! Fuck!

Karen stirs beside me.

“What’s up?” she asks with morning breath and sleepy eyes.

“Go back to sleep,” I say. “I’ll see you later.” (Much later)

Dragging my hung over self out of our bed in La Mesa California, I get dressed and stumble down the stairs, trying ever so careful to not awake the house in my doing so at such an un-Godly-hour. Four o’clock!

Fuck!

Seated in my Toronado, I crank her up, back out of the drive and head west. To BUD/s. God help me.

Of course I had been through this before: back in ’86. I was what some could call a ‘Two-Time Loser.’ Yeah, this weren’t my first attempt at SEAL training. And certainly not my first rodeo. I continued west.

Presently I arrived at the BUD/s compound (For the uninitiated: Basic Underwater/Demolition slash SEAL Training—Yeah—My Navy is fond of acronyms)

Went into my ‘hooch’ and threw on the lights.

“Goddamn it! Marcom!” was the chorus I was greeted with. “I hate you!”

“Drop yer cocks and grab yer socks!” I yelled. (I have lived my life every day, waiting for an opportunity to say this)

“Huh?”

“It’s time to daince gen’telmens. Let’s git to it!”

“Ah fuck!”

“Yep! Fuck!”

I took a dip of snuff as I watched my roommates get dressed. We were due to meet up with the rest of our class, One Fifty-Eight, in about ten mikes.

“Hurry the fuck up!” I yelled at my sleepy ‘roommates’.

“And you… you shut the fuck up, Petty Officer Mar—cone.”

“I’m doin’ ya’ll a favor, getting you up early so you can get all yer constitutionals done in time,” I said.

“What-ever!”

“Let’s go,” I said.

We proceeded down to our class muster point, mustered up with about seventy other disgruntled ‘grunts’—poly-wogs—and ran into the ‘grinder.’

We sang in unison as we did so:

“TO MY LEFT!

“TO MY LEFT!

“HOOYAH

“HOOYAH

“HOO–YAH!!!”

Class One Five Eight had arrived at BUD/s. God save and send us.

On the grinder (asphalt parking lot) there were little paintings of fin-feet, designating where the pollywogs were to assemble for PT (Physical… Uh… training. Read: torture)

Thusly assembled, we waited for the SEAL Instructor to show. During our wait, we knew we were supposed to sing. You see? The singing arouses the instructor and God knows we wanted him aroused:

So we sang:

“Drank Drank Drank

“Drunk Drunk Drunk

“Drunk last night

“Drunk the night before

“Gonna get drunk like I never got before

“’Cause when I’m drunk I’m happy as can be

“’Cause I’m a member of the Frog Fam’ily…

“Oh the Frog Fam’ily is the best family

“That ever sailed a’cross the sea….”

 And on an’ on. You get the idea.

The instructor arrived in full regalia: UDT shorts, T-Shirt, and attitude. There was a platform of sorts in front of us (Just for His Holiness, the PT SEAL instructor to ‘preach’ from)

We stood erect at attention… waiting to hear his first pronouncement. We did not have to wait long.

“What a fucking sorry lot! This is the worst class I have ever seen! Get wet! AND SANDY!!!”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“Gonna be a long day,” I thought as we all ran to the Pacific to get wet and then sandy on the beach…

And the day had not even yet begun…

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Russia Won Our World War

Well, Everybody’s War Actually

Russia Suffered Hardships We Cannot Even Begin To Imagine

 

Or, If you desire:

“I’m the reason God Made Oklahoma.” (See? I can say that. Why? Because my second was an Okie and, by parley, that makes me ‘bonafide’—so there!)

Feel better?

Vid Credit? Shelley West (Who Else??)

This I took to Navy SEAL training…

Part Two Here

And WP will NOT Me Properly Edit This

One of The Songs Above was by Al Stewart

Mother-Fuck You WP!

You stupid bag of CUNTS!

(I didn’t Really Mean That)

lANCE IS aN aSSHOLE!

Eagerly Await My Call!

I Love My Nav. Have I Ever Mentioned This Before? My Navy Defined Me—As A Man’ And Made Me The Man. That I Am. What I Yam. I’ve Been ‘Round the World. Twice. Thanks to the U.S. Navy.

I’m Popeye The Sailor-Man

I Live In A Garbage Can

(But I Eats Me Spinach)

“Toot Toot”

NAVY!

“Midway”

******

Anchors Aweigh!

Still? Nav Mode? Bullshit! Always in Sailor Mode! “Sea–Somewhat of a Stream of Almost Consciousness” And Somewhat Of A “Confession” RE: My Previous Post. Don’t Grow Too ‘Comfortable’ With This Side Of Me Cannot Properly Edit This. (Thanks Wanker WordPress!) Sorry Y’all for Some Redundancies. I Can’t Fix STUPID–wORDpRESS

For ALL NAVIES–ALL SAILORS–ALL COUNTRIES

Sailors of The World–All The World Over

SHARE A

Special

Brother-Hood

&

Sister-Hood

Race, Class,

Don’t Matter

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“For Those In Peril On The Sea”

Well, there’s so many sinking now
You gotta keep thinking
You can make it through these waves
Acid, booze, and ass
Needles, guns, and grass
Lots of laughs

Joni

Blue songs are like tattoos
You know I’ve been to sea before
Crown and anchor me
Or let me sail away
Hey, blue, there is a song for you
Ink on a pin
Underneath the skin
An empty space to fill in

OK

Once

Maybe

Twice

I Have Been Scared At Sea

Ship Hits The Fan!

“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”

Creds: Gordon Lightfoot — Artist & Zeezy — Vid Share

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The scariest thing to me…

Was at sea.

In the Indian Ocean, late one night

(That “IO” That Ho!)

Late at Night.

And the ship was tight.

And the waves were big.

Real big.

IO, She was angry.

And I was scared.

(No! HE Was scared).

I was never scared!

I was drinking coffee… And in between, walking on the bulkheads—all you sailors out there—can relate, and compare…

Never scared, but aside from my ‘coffee mates,” I knew, did, had done… the same drill… Too many times. (Fuckin’ Black-Shoe Navy!)

And if any of y’all find any of my  ‘Sea Stories” unbelievable…The preamble to any good sea story is “This is a no-shitter…”

And then there was Melville…I’ve been around the world and  once saw two white whales fuck.. I did. And there were dolphins… standing by… giggling.

 I have been to Australia.

Twice

And it follows, I have been to sea before:

And here, (for you purists) is the original, stolen from “Hejira”:

My Thanks to

“I’m just a simple soldier Son.

“With one more Year to Go.””

I’m Just Re-Cycling, And Feeling Lonely & Sororry For Me & Reminiscing… Had To Update & Re-Post. I Forgot To Drop In The Navy Hymn. I Am Such A Moron!—Fixed Now. Time For Chow! On Today’s Menu: ‘Hydraulic Sandwiches’ “I Fukkin’ LOVE MY NAVY! I Always Shall.

I Fukkin’ Love My Military Three Generation Family History! I Fukkin’ Love My Country! I Fukkin’ Love My America!” I am a Patriotic Son-of-A Bitch! Wanna Fight? Bring Your Big Guns–You Will Need Them!

Little River Band – Reminiscing (1978)

Cred for Vid Share: Katy Jones

“Who’s running The Country?”

“The More-On’s”

Cred For Vid Share: DrPowerfun

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Beer!

It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore!

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Family Guy

Mr. Booze:

Cred For Vid Share: OlitCougar


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I feel so honored to have been allowed to serve on two ships in two war zones and given the opportunity to attend SEAL training, even though I did not measure up, at least I showed up.

Twice

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Naval Academy Glee Club Tribute to Pearl Harbor

“Eternal Father”

The Navy Hymn

Credit: USNA Music Department

******

My Navy has such a rich and proud and honourable history!

Cred For Vid Share: TheLostfoundation

******

Anchors Aweigh My Boys!

Drink To The Foam!

Anchors Aweigh, my boys,
Anchors Aweigh.
Farewell to foreign shores,
We sail at break of day-ay-ay-ay.
Through our last night ashore,
Drink to the foam,
Until we meet once more.
Here’s wishing you a happy voyage home.

Cred for Vid: TheLostfoundation

Thank You Navy For Your Way Over 200 Years of Service To Our Great Nation!

“It follows then as certain as that night succeeds the day, that without a decisive naval force we can do nothing definitive, and with it, everything honorable and glorious.”

— George Washington 15 November 1781, to Marquis de Lafayette

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“Would to Heaven we had a navy able to reform those enemies to mankind or crush them into non-existence.

— George Washington 15 August 1786, to Marquis de Lafayette


“Naval power . . . is the natural defense of the United States.”

— John Adams

“I Have Not Yet Begun to Fight.”

–John Paul Jones

And Of Course

The

USMC

WP is So fukked up

Once Agaiane thye screw’d my ediT

Who Work For The NAVY!

HAHAHAHAAAA!

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*****

And Fuck the Army!

Ground – Pounders!

Just Kiddin’!

They Do Provide A Useful Service,

I Guess

Although I Have Not Figured It Out Yet

What?

Perhaps Muzak?

Muzak was the invention of Major General George O. Squier, the U.S. Army’s Chief Signal Officer during World War I. … In 1934, he founded his company, Wired Radio Inc.; inspired by the sound of another successful company called “Kodak,” he later named it “Muzak.”

******

The Battle Hymn of the Republic:

US Military Songs: United States Armed Forces Medley:

Cred for Vid: Ian Berwick

***

Crimson Tide

‘Bubble-Head Navy

Very Brave Men

And Women

True Patriots

ALL!

****

Midway!

Navy’s Finest Day!

But There Will Be More

‘Finest Days’

For My Navy

Trust Me!

**************

**********

Just to Keep it Real

And Fun

And Light-Hearted:

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