Shonnie Saga: Part Four
We spent that Friday afternoon and most of Saturday enjoying the Bluegrass festival while swilling beers and smoking lots of cigarettes. During the late evenings we would share burgers, listen to all sorts of music on my little boom box, drink whiskey and have great sex. We also talked of many things, but nothing too heavy. We were enjoying ourselves.
Sunday noon we checked out of the motel and sadly headed west back to San Dog. It had been a perfect weekend and I truly regretted the ending of it. Shonnie impressed me more and more with her worldly wisdom, and in spite of no formal higher education, she seemed to know a lot about a lot. Mostly about the important shit: Life. She had not one ounce of pretentiousness in her small body. (Small, very sexy body) Both of us were inventive and creative in bed. Did I mention the sex was fantastic? I am certain I did.
Knowing my duty schedule on the USS Frederick, I knew it would be three weeks until I had another weekend completely devoid of any responsibilities as a sailor. I had already formulated a plan to ‘kidnap’ her when that free weekend came about.
During the ensuing days we kept up our regular rendezvous schedule. More and more I looked forward to seeing her and getting to know her even better. She was reluctant to tell me very much about her life, but bits and pieces did come out between slow dancing, drinking, smoking, and fucking. Her father had left her and her mother when she was still quite young. ‘He was an abusive type’, was about all the detail I got from her, but I could occasionally catch a glimpse of sorrow and pain in her eyes. I refrained from broaching the subject of her husband-the-biker. In fact, the fact that she was married at all, slipped away from my mind like so much quick silver…
One Saturday night she had me drive us to a Mall.
“Okay, what are we doing here?” I asked her. Malls ain’t my thing, you see.”
“I wanna buy you something,” she replied.
“Oh no you don’t. I have everything I need.”
“No. You need this, c’mon.”
She led me to a record shop and began searching the bins.
“What’re you looking for?” I asked.
“Gimme a sec. Oh here it is,” she announced happily pulling a cassette from the bin.
“You’ll love it. Trust me.”
“I’m already in-love….with you, you crazy bitch.”
She purchased Nighthawks at the Diner by Tom Waits, an artist I had never heard of….
We drove to Balboa Park, and opening some beers to go with our whiskey we listened to the cassette. I loved it from the very first minute. My Girl had me all figured out. It was just a little disconcerting, how she had so easily pegged me and yet to me she was still mostly an enigma.
After the sun set we started our make out session, then she did something unexpected. She unbuckled my jeans and started giving me head. This had never happened before and to say I was quite pleased would be an understatement bordering on the felonious. Just as I was really getting into it, she stopped suddenly, looked up at me with those piercing blue eyes and said solemnly, “If you come in my mouth, I will kill you.”
Well, that kind of ruined ‘My’ moment, but actually in a good way. It struck me so funny that I just could not help bursting out laughing. It was priceless. Make out session temporarily put on hold and my fondness for her intensified.
The next weekend (my ‘freedom’ one), we met at our usual rendezvous point. She, on instructions from me given over a pay phone, had brought along a bag with extra clothes and whatever other tricks of her trade she needed for a two-and-a-half day ‘excursion’, along with a pass from her mom relieving her of motherly duties for the weekend.
“So Cowboy, where are we going?”
“Vegas,” I said. “My turn to ‘educate’ you My Love.”
“Woolworth Rhinestone diamond earrings and a sideways glance”
Greatest line from any song.
To be continued… FIVE HERE
How I recall my Wonderful, Magical Months Spent with Shonnie:
Cred: Chris Isaak
But A ‘Friend’ Fuk’t It Up For Me & Pissed Me Off!
So, Natch, I Un-Loaded Both My Shot Gun Barrels Toward His / Hers General Vicinity”
But Some Asshole Took Offense Becuz I Used The ‘C’ Word–
Perhaps I’ll ‘Clean it Up Later–
But Don’T /Count Down’–
U May Drown.
A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie – Drowning
Cred Fer Vid: A Boogie Wit da Hoodie
It Was Directed At ME! No One Else But Me! ME FOR FUCK SAKE!
If You Be Too Stupid To Understand That Go Find Some Cute Kitten Vids To Explore & Enjoy!
Rent a Sense of Humor!
“Just a Quick One For Fun
(Food Makes Me Throw Up In My Mouth)”
Read the comment here if you have no life or a min of time to waste:
barbaramullenix November 15, 2021 at 12:59 Edit:
“Well, you finally topped yourself. I have some of the ‘thickest’ skin around and you finally pissed me off enough to tell you. I don’t know the sort of women you associate with, but none, to my knowledge, after hearing the work ‘cunt’ would have anything to do with you. I would reconsider your claim to be a ‘functioning’ alcoholic if you deem some of your phrasing to be anything but misogynistic.
Goodbye, and I hope you eventually get your life together.“
I’m Calling ‘Bullshit’ On Her Comment:
Are You fucking kidding me?!
I am about as far removed from misogyny as one can possibly be!
Read My Fuckin’ Blog!
I do nothing but celebrate & praise women on these pages!
Today was a beautiful Texas early-autumn day.
Jeff Wayne, Richard Burton, Justin Hayward
This is a Most Beautiful Song
I Had The Entire ‘War of The Worlds’ On Cassette When I was in Sinai
Played it so much I had to buy a new copy
My cassette player ate my first
I threw THAT Cassette Player into a Wadi for The Bedouins and Bought a new, more better, more loyal one!
(Srry; I gots distracted—post is below)
Only a few problems:
I was dangerously low on booze.
(And I HATE DT MAN!)
And it was a Sunday.
And I was drunk
I refuse to drive drunk.
Not because I fear The LAW
But because I don’t wanna harm some innocent.
I went outside and sat down.
The sky was so blue
The air was so clean
I watched three crows on the wing
Diving down ever’ once in a while…
Picking up on shiny things
“I looked at the morning
After being up all night
I looked at my haggard face in the bathroom light
I looked out the window
And I I saw that ragged soul take flight
I saw a back crow flying
In a blue sky“
Had heard Timothy, my neighbor, mucking about.
Figured he could drive me to the beer store soon as they could legally (Crack of Noon in Tejas–Gotta let them Church O’ Christers outta their pen) sell me some wine or beer, or le both.
And some Copenhagen and a bit of food too (While I was at it)
But he was shade-tree mechanic working on someone’s car down the way.
So I just waited and watched the crows
And day-dreamed of booze and food….
To be continued
Copenhagen Junkie – Chris LeDoux
Vid Share Street Cred: tjcrnj
Ramen Noodle Song
Vid Cred: Cartoon Connect
Had to add
From the Commentary Section:
barbaramullenix to Lance:
“I love me some Ramen Noodles. Cheap too!“
Lance to barbaramullenix:
“Yeah, Ramen Noodles are chock – full of vitamins and minerals & nutrition come to fruition
Vitamin ‘A’ for ‘Asshole, you should not be eating this’
Vitamin ‘C’ for ‘You really are a dumb cunt, ain’t ya?’
Vitamin ‘D’ for “this Dumbass gonna eat this Shit
Mineral ‘S’ for “You’re gonna have a stroke’
Vitamin ‘E’ for ‘Eat me; see what happens to yer body’
Vitamin ‘K’ for You’re not gonna be OK, So’K?”
Try Not To Cry!
And if You Do Not Look At The Stolen Videos..
Why Are You Even Here? Darkening My Virtual Door-Step?
I Fukkin’ LOVE MY NAVY! I Always Shall.
And I Hope & Pray John-Paul-Jones Meets Me At Them Pearly Gates!
I Fukkin’ Love My Military Three Generation Family History! I Fukkin’ Love My Country! I Fukkin’ Love My America!” I am a Patriotic Son-of-A Bitch! Wanna Fight? Bring Your Big Guns–You Will Need Them!
Little River Band – Reminiscing (1978)
Cred for Vid Share: Katy Jones
“Who’s running The Country?”
Cred For Vid Share: DrPowerfun
It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore!
Cred For Vid Share: OlitCougar
I feel so honored to have been allowed to serve on two ships in two war zones and given the opportunity to attend SEAL training, even though I did not measure up, at least I showed up.
Naval Academy Glee Club Tribute to Pearl Harbor
The Navy Hymn
And NEVER, EVER Forget
“To ‘Drink To The Foam!”
Credit: USNA Music Department
My Navy has such a rich and proud and honourable history!
Cred For Vid Share: TheLostfoundation
Anchors Aweigh My Boys!
Drink To The Foam!
Anchors Aweigh, my boys,
Farewell to foreign shores,
We sail at break of day-ay-ay-ay.
Through our last night ashore,
Drink to the foam,
Until we meet once more.
Here’s wishing you a happy voyage home.
Cred for Vid: TheLostfoundation
Thank You Navy For Your Way Over 200 Years of Service To Our Great Nation!
“It follows then as certain as that night succeeds the day, that without a decisive naval force we can do nothing definitive, and with it, everything honorable and glorious.”
— George Washington 15 November 1781, to Marquis de Lafayette
“Would to Heaven we had a navy able to reform those enemies to mankind or crush them into non-existence.“
— George Washington 15 August 1786, to Marquis de Lafayette
“Naval power . . . is the natural defense of the United States.”
— John Adams
“I Have Not Yet Begun to Fight.”
–John Paul Jones
And Of Course
WP is So fukked up
Once Agaiane thye screw’d my ediT
Who Work For The NAVY!
And Fuck the Army!
Ground – Pounders!
They Do Provide A Useful Service,
Although I Have Not Figured It Out Yet
Muzak was the invention of Major General George O. Squier, the U.S. Army’s Chief Signal Officer during World War I. … In 1934, he founded his company, Wired Radio Inc.; inspired by the sound of another successful company called “Kodak,” he later named it “Muzak.”
The Battle Hymn of the Republic:
US Military Songs: United States Armed Forces Medley:
Cred for Vid: Ian Berwick
Very Brave Men
Navy’s Finest Day!
But There Will Be More
For My Navy
Just to Keep it Real
I may be Gored…
And Completely Ignored
(with this stupid post series)
10 Reasons Why Australian Women Are Better Than American Women:
You Know You Are Dating an Australian Woman When:
I am skipping/slipping ahead. And Justen – Case…. yu have not figgered it out, the below is the email. Un edited. Not ‘polished’ As if I ever ‘polish’ any fucking thing…. Well. I polished some Naconas once…
I have lots of ink to spill on Australia, even though I was only there for a couple of weeks.
> Was one week in Sydney
> One week in Cairns
> Met a girl in Sydney.
> This is rated PG.
> Anyway, she came to San Dog ’bout six months after my deployment ended. I showed her the town.
> She was uglier than a home-made mud fence, but me, being ever gracious, when I had met her and she had told me she was coming to America, specifically San Diego, well.
> I told her to keep in touch and I would show her around once she arrived.
> I did. I showed her around, but not to my shipmates…. I had already been mocked enuff by them….
> I just could bring myself to sleep with her.
> Even I have standards.
> I may be a slut.
> But I am slut with standards.
> I did show her a good time though.
> I think she appreciated it, even yet, she never said so.
> And I spent an entire paycheck showing her around town.
> Not that money means anything to me,
> Took her everywhere.
> Seaport Village
> La Jolla
> The Zoo (which was a risk–for her— because she looked like….nevermind)
> Goddamn it!
> She had that “I am entitled air’
> In California, with all the beach babes…. this woman was lucky the Coast Guard did not mistake her for a beached whale and harpoon her in….
> What am I saying?
> Fu*k it!
> I full-filled my promise.
> I never promised to fu*k her.
> Now I am sounding like an asshole.
> I invited a woman to see me in America. I showed her around. I showed her a good time. I spent all my dimes.
> That was all there was to it.
Ed. Note: She could eat corn off the cob thru a picket fence.
Yeah. Her teeth defied all the laws of physics. I (sober then, said to my self… I said
“Self, this bitch ain’t getting them choppers anywhere near my jewels. Nope. Not today. No way. Not Ever Fuckin’ Ever.”
> Sorry. This is stream of conscientious
> I will write More on Australia.
> And if, BIG IF, I put her in, make her famous, I will write her a new face and a new disposition.
> I will use some creative license. I will be a gentleman.
In some other words: I will lie.
> Not too difficult, since it comes so natch to me.
Sailor For Sale or Rent:
Fun Fact: My BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL High School sweetheart was remotely related to Roger Miller: Fifth Cousin, Eight Removed. But I was impressed. (She knows who she is and if she reads this, I am Fifth Fucked and Eight times removed from life)
Vid Cred: Leanne Albillar
“General Facts and Tips on Dating Australian Women
Have you ever thought about visiting the land of down under and dating a chick from Australia? If not, you should definitely consider this as an option. Aussie girls are known to be laid back, friendly, into sports, ambitious, and accepting. Here are a couple of tips on dating girls from Australia and general facts about Aussie chicks.”
Lance Sez: “Don’t do it. They Will Wreck you and Break Your heart!”
Just Shoot Me Now!
Fantasies Of Me.
I Know This is a Re-Rum–
Annie Git Yer Gun.
Just For Fun—
Ask Me If I Care.
If You Dare.
“Pain (A-Gin) I love MY NAVY! ‘Cause I’m Scrazy & Lazy. & And Just a Little Bit Crazy-In My Mind…
If You Dare. “Pain (A-Gin) I love MY NAVY! ‘
Cause I’m Scrazy & Lazy.
& And Just a Little Bit Crazy-In My Mind…
Annie Git Yer Gun!
There’s No Business Like show Business!
And That’s The Business I’m In
“Let’s Go On On With The Show”
I Miss My Daddy; He Loved This Movie
Please Crank The Volume On this One
Afg has brought me Pain
Picking up from the last half-chapter…
Matt, Rogers, and I were in Viva Young. I had been smitten.
But the smite –her was elusive, so Matt and I retired to the pool tables. Me hoping to fleece him outta some beer money. He hoping for good conversation and Lance Good Wolf-Ticket talk.
We both got what we wanted, until…
Until Pain walked in.
Pain (his real name) was my roommate back when I was in BUD/s Class 140. Pain was a pain in the ass. He was a tow-head boy, weighing in at about 150. All attitude. Bad attitude. He reminded me of Peanut, without the good to outweigh the bad. I did not like his style.
One of My Girls, (yes they were ‘mine’—this was My Bar, wasn’t it?) brought me a beer and said,
“Hey! Dat guy just walk in, he Na-bee Seal.”
“Yes Honey. I know him.”
“He yor frien?”
“Nope. He is trouble, and thanks for the beer.”
Still holding my pool cue, I walked over to Pain.
“Hey Pain!” I said. “How’s it hangin’?”
“Hey Ya. Uh… don’t I know you from somewhere? Oh yeah; Buds. Back in ’86.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Class one forty. You were my roommate for a spell, until you got kicked out for smacking my other roommate upside the head.”
“Yeah he was an idiot.”
“Don’t think so. He was my Friend.”
“What was yer name? Mark… something or other… Mark..um…?”
“Yeah, that’s right: Marcom.”
“You rocked out didn’t ya?”
“Yeah, I rocked out. Got hurt. Apparently you made it. In SEALs.”
“Yeah, I didn’t rock out.”
“Good for you.”
“No Pain, I do not. What I want is for you to take your ass outta here. You see, this bar is for ‘Black Shoe Sailors’—Fleet Sailors. This is MY bar, and we don’t really want all you prima-donnas hangin’ out here. This is a private bar—my bar—So… mosey on on.”
“I go where I please. Fuck you!”
“Excuse me, but this ain’t your kind of place. This place is not big enuff to house your Navy SEAL ego; I suggest you amble on down to The California Club on Magsaysay. They have high enough ceilings for your big head, and lots of bar girls. You will be welcomed there.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
By this point, I had reversed my grip on the pool cue, and turned it into a baseball bat. Matt came up to my shoulder and whispered,
“Lance, don’t do it.”
I had forty pounds on Pain. I could take him with or without the pool stick.
Mama-San, ever astute, came up to me and said,
“Sailor Man, you may need to sit down.”
I said, “Mama-San, Not until this asshole leaves.”
She said, “Okay, but you gonna pix the furniture.”
Standing two heads high over him, I turned back to Pain, “You need to leave Son.”
“Maybe I will check out that California Club after all.” He said. And left.
The Jar Heads on the other side of the bar applauded. One said,
“Great job! Squiddy! That guy is an asshole. Seen him around town.”
“Thanks!” I said. Then yelled, “Hey! Mama-San! Bring me a beer! I just saw my life flash in front of me!” (Not really. I fear no man, but it makes for good prose, eh?)
Pain was actually a good guy. But an asshole. Certainly I can relate,
I Think I’ll Just Stay Here an’ Drink
“Take All The Money In The Bank”