History of the Entire World, I Guess:
(There’s A Bit of A Long Pause At The Beginning;
Please Be Patient Grasshopper)
***
“The Happy Lance Break Dance”

****
And Yes
You’ll Have To Scroll Down A Mite For
The Rest Of The Videos
But Use Caution:
Mites Can Be Damn Slippery, Sneaky, Stealthy Little Bastards

And Trust Me On This One Kids:
You Don’t Want A ‘Mite-Bite’ On Yer Ass
***

WARNING!
This Post Has Been Greatly Expanded
Perhaps I got ‘Slightly’ Carried Away
“I’m a huge gamer most of the time”
New! New! New!
Yay!
***
Yet Another ‘New’ One I Failed to Notice Until Now.
‘Tis A ‘Red Letter Day’ For me
“Life’s Simple Pleasures”
It Doesn’t Take Much To Make Me Happy These Days
“I’m Scared“
****
“Ball & Stick”
My Man Bill!

History of Bill Wurtz, I Guess | A Brief History
****
The Brilliance That is Bill Wurtz:
https://www.youtube.com/user/billwurtz
I posted this on my Facebook Page.
(Ed. Note: I Nuked My Face-Dork Account Months Ago)
For my Friends to Enjoy, but
It may have been over Some of their Heads.
(Or maybe no one has time anymore to invest in watching something of quality—twenty second sound bites is what they want…)
Now, I am not being arrogant.
Nor pompous.
Ok, maybe just a little bit pompous,
But,
Personally I have the attention Span of a Drunk Gnat
And
Am ‘Mostly’ Harmless
Mostly

YET,
Some things are Worth the Time Invested.
“If the World Doesn’t End”
“More Than A Dream”
****
“History of the Entire World”
(I Guess)
La Crème de la crème:
Note:
Long Pause in This One.
Be Patient.
I Think Bill Did it For
‘Creative Effect’
Or Perhaps As A Test of Your
Attention Span
And Undying Need For
‘Instant Gratification’
I know ‘Cause I’m The
Worst ‘Instant Gratification Culprit’ I know
“Uh…. I have posted some of this man’s work before…
But no one ‘watched’ (Uhhhh, Their FB Loss)
Watch this one. It is for ‘thinking’ peeps (as are the others)
(Some ‘Good-Natured’ Profanity)
***
I try to ‘share’ things that are thought provoking and relevant and entertaining.
But, what the hell, right? You can only beat a dead horse so long before it falls apart and becomes disgusting.
***
I shoot high.
Sometimes I shoot low.
Sometimes I hit.
Sometimes I miss.
But I always shoot.
From The Hip
And always with good intent.
Never malice.
I just want folks to enjoy some of the things that enrich my life.
And maybe even enrich yours.
“9-8-7”
*****
Thank You
Drive Through
-Lance
Bonus Track:
“History of Japan“
Bonus Bonus Track:
Interview
BONUS BONUS BONUS TRACKS:
“Mount St. Helens is About to Blow Up”
Sorry, Couldn’t Resist.
Jimmy Buffett – ‘Volcano’ Live:
****
“First Day of School”
***
“At The Corner Store”
****
“Fly Around”
*****
“Here Comes The Sun”
*****
“I Just Did A Bad Thing”
****
“Wild Frolicking Adventures of Informational Education”
****
“Got Some Money”
****
“Christmas Isn’t Real”
*****
“Slow Down”
*****
“Soap Tips”
****
“When I Get Older”
*****
“Maybe I Could Eat Blades of Grass”
*****
“At The Airport Terminal”
****
“Long Long Long Journey“
*****
DFWSteve,
“Where was that Buffet vid filmed?”
In Waco, Texas, (of course–Where else would on Film A Film?)
https://texantales.com/2022/06/16/lance-looks-in-the-mirror-2/
Rest My Case….
Where was that Buffet vid filmed? When I lived in Tokyo I wore out Feeding Frenzy CD during late night homesick drinking sessions.
I don’t give-a-shit what the lame-ass critics say:
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/blue_lagoon
I LOVE This ‘Stupid’ Movie.
And I love ‘Brookie’ Shields.
I told this to my best-friend, Bart.
He said, “Her name is ‘Brooke,’ not ‘Brookie”
I said, “Her Name was Brookie when she made the movie. She was just fourteen. Go to fuk yerself!”
“Lance, you’re a moron and a hopeless romantic.”
Fuk You! And Don’t ever rain on my Parade again–I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!”
***
The Blue Lagoon Official® Trailer HD:
DFWSteve
It would be neigh onto impossible for me to agree with you any more than I already Do!
I miss them
“Good Ol’ Hazy-Daze”
Time to re-open The Pub in Commerce. Or The Showdown. No capable drinker should ever be relegated to a shittily run bar at a Chiklis or Applebies or at any hotel. It must be a ‘bar” bar.
I May Be Gay
I Mean…
What Kind of a Man Posts Such Posts??
I MUST BE GAY!
Naw!
Y’all Know I am not…
I’m just ‘Sensitive–And I’d Like to Stay That Way’–
(Thks Jewel)
https://texantales.com/2023/04/01/sensitive-not-sensitive-my-muse-has-left-me-permanent-shes-returning-to-olongapo-city-or-wherever-the-fuck-she-originated-from-good-riddance-she-w/
Steve,
Better version:
Thank you
My Wonderful Friend.
Steve,
Thank you for being a Friend. (To Me)
Bagdad? I ain’t never been thar’. Been to La-doan-ya. Saigon. Peru. TLV. Heaven. Hell. an’ a few other places in between. Might head to Bagdad soon. Got a good recommendation for a bar?
Yes!
I have” Visited” Baghdad.
Too Many Times…
Far Too Many Times….
P.S.,
I Love Baghdad…
I HAVE VERY FOND MEMORIES OF BAGHDAD
https://texantales.com/2023/04/09/call-me-crazy-but-i-have-just-experienced-a-brief-epiphany/
.
There are 15 thousand copies of the Bill O’Really? Clip Embedded in this Post.
Guess What?
WP Will NOT ALLOW ME TO EDIT TEEM OUT!
GO FIGGER NIGGGAR!
WordPress Is FUCKING STUPID!
It is TOO SLOW TO KEEP UP WITH MY FASTER-THAN-THE SPEED-OF-LIGHT BRAIN!
“Yes, Virginia, There Ain’t No Santa Claus
I Love/Hate My Life:
This is WAAAYY Out of Context, but it popped up in my head–turtle-like–Like in some Texas Stock Pond—
Gladys, My Moroccan GF, Who did Not Know ‘The English’ once said to me, after I had, (in vain) tried to explain to her the
intricacies of Shark Fishin’…
“Uur Stupid”
I Had to concur.
https://texantales.com/2023/05/05/throwback-thursday-shark-fishing/
“
I could not find a ‘suitable’ place to ‘stick’ this.
So I stick it here.
Please enjoy
(or Not)
Thank you.
Drive Thru
https://texantales.com/2014/02/19/california-on-my-mind-texas-in-my-heart/
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ironic
“Ironic” Is A Much-Abused Word.
Most Idiots Know NOT The Proper Meaning of the Word.
https://texantales.com/2020/08/04/humility-industrial-complex/
Hahahaha!
I ‘Liked’
My Own Post
(Some-Bootie Has To!)
Isn’t it Ironic?
Bill Wurtz
Is The Worst!
That is Precisely Why I LOVE Him..