Hahaha! I Should Seek Council and Then Be ‘Put Away’ For Permanent! “Screwed! Cork-Screw’ed! Properly In Peril!”

You Got the Heart, But You Ain’t Got the Tools

****

Ever seen a grown man cry?

My Corkscrew is a Broke-Dick Dog!

Those who claim to know me…

Will unner-stan what a crisis this be for me!

****

I’m old enough, and ‘country enuff’ to remember having a ‘party line.’

Any of Y’all remember those?

(Thank You Hank JR:—You have always Been an Inspiration for Me) :

I suppose I could always smash the bottle against some concrete.

OOPs!–Over Did It!

************

But, in the doing of that… I may spill some of that, that, that I need so much!

Ever’ Drop!

(Lance is an alcoholic, doan’cha know—and Juicers are very good at rationing their Booze Provisions—we plan ahead!)

But There are always ‘options.’

And ‘work-arounds’

Just requires some ‘critical thinking’ and ‘Critical Drinking’—

and a Brain–

None of which I have readily available to me at this moment.

“Hello! DT Me!–

(DT’s — Self-imposed!)

Been a while!

Long time no see!

How’s the family?

How’s the wife and kids?

(I have a bit of Scottish in me… but it came out of a bottle—not out of Scotland…)

The Drunk Scotsman

Cred for Share Vid: Saine Tarasind

***

Since we are travelling about the UK…

Irish Rovers-Drunken Sailor

Best line from the Song:

“We’ll put him in a long boat ’til he’s sober.”

Vid Share Cred: John Kenton

***

I love my life.

I love that I am, by nature, a happy person.

No Ordinary Love–One Affair I Did Not Dare–Did Not Go There–Thank God!–I Would Have Had ‘Regrets’–Not To Mention She–She Would Have Had Regrets Too–That, I Am famous For–Creating Regrets

“I’d Give You The World if it Was Mine”

To Give

My Only True Regret in Life:

I Never ‘Made’ a Daughter

I Certainly Had Ample Opportunity

Ethel, The Pirate’s Daughter sketched this ‘Self-portrait’ for me while we were enduring yet another long, boring, bullshit ‘help’ session at UBH Denton.

She would often lay her head on my shoulder and grasp my hand and we got in trouble over this, ’cause there is ‘no touching’ in Looney Tunes Hospital. (We always sat very close to each other—mainly because we were trying to fall in love).

Imagine me, falling for a Cambodian American Girl with a broken wing and a broken heart and a broken mind and a broken life.

And try to imagine her, falling for me.

Hard to imagine, but it happened.

In Denton.

In the Loony Hospital.

Circa 2020.

She was to me… Sade in tights.

(And such a delight)

(See poem below  if you’d like to ‘read more about her.’)

Poem For “Ethel”–Fake Name–UBH: Interlude
SEPTEMBER 14, 2020 BY LAMARCOM
Black Hair
Black Eyes
Bright Smile
Great Thighs
Wily Words From Her Mouth
Gave No Pause
Left No Doubt
Words Delivered With Such Charm
Better Watch Out
You’ll Be Disarmed
Your Walls Came Crashing Down
Your Weapons On The Ground
She Was Standing There
(Laughing At My Folly)
Laughing Everywhere
You May As Well Surrender Right There
Taking Me Aside, She Said,
“I’ll Never Be Your Bride.
“But You Knew This All Along.”
She Left Me With A Song
And Made Me Smile Again
Then Left Me With a Fact:
“I Cheats At Black-Jack
.”

****

(Loved her even more after that Admission)

Vid Credit: Sade (As if!)

******

ADDED VALUE:

Re-Spam. This Post is Fu^ked Up–Maybe I’ll Fix It Later–Maybe Not. I LOVE My Country So Much! I Love My American Heritage.

Glen Miller Kicked Some Serious Ass!

Kinda-Sorta Updated–For Our Current ‘Happy Times’

–Patriots Enjoy Please

God Bless the USA!

Cred: Lee Greenwood

******

I Love Our Rich American Culture!
I love My Having Been Blessed

To Have Been Born An American.
And Yes!
I Am A Veteran!

Erstwhile Vegetarian

(… Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone; they will take away my Texan Citizenship)

(And A Patriot!)

And I love My Country!
Forever!

Wanna Test The Veracity of My Statement?

Well, Stand By For Heavy Rolls!

As The Shit Hits Your Fan!

I’ve got a Gal in Kalamazoo

(Fu*king Amazin Dancin’ At The End! WOW!)

Cred for Vid Share: afftechmei

***

Tuxedo Junction

Listen to the MC:

He says, and I quote:

“Here’s Glen Miller; he’s back with his horn and ready to beat it off.”

I ’bout fell out my chair when I heard that!

MOONLIGHT SERENADE

Chattanooga Choo Choo

Y’all will Understand my

Tennessee Connection to this.

Sam Houston:

First President of

“The Republic of Texas

Former Guv of Tennessee, Drunkard. Great, Brave Man.

Soldier of the First Order

Military Genius

He Retains a Special Place In My Heart.

I Admire Him.

He married a Cherokee Woman

“After running away from his family as a teenager, Houston lived for nearly three years with the Cherokee tribe in eastern Tennessee. … There, the tribe formally adopted him, and he married a Cherokee woman, Tiana Rogers, in a tribal ceremony.”

Cherokee Woman

Colin J Mackey

Bobby Osborne / Cherokee Lady

*****

Right?

Right??

Fu*kin’ Right???

Tuxedo Junction

GO NAVY!

BEAT ARMY!

Added Value Bonus/Onus/… Own us?

Whatever.

https://texantales.com/2020/10/27/titty-bars-and-the-ymca-san-diego/

Bonus Below

I love these broads!

Cliché? Yeah,

But “The Greatest Generation” of our Nation.

Isn’t it amazin’ how we used to be a happy nation, even in the middle of a fucking World War? Somewhere we lost our lust of life and sense of humor. Now all we seem to wanna do is be assholes to one another…. whoever don’t agree with our politics. Makes me fucking sad. Someone send me a time machine. I want live somewhere else, some other decade.

***

And just for fun:

I Fu*king LOVE AMERICA!

It Was Just A False Alarm. Screw It! “This is Really Stupid, But I Re-Post it Anyway. “When The Men On The Chessboard Get Up & Tell You Where To Go…”

I have spent no less than fifteen years in war zones.

All over the world.

Does this make me special?

Bet your ass it does.

I’ve see some shit.

Lived some shit.

Lost good friends.

Made new ones.

Moved on.

I’m gonna ‘Unplug’ for a spell:

For Mental Health Reasons

(Of Course All Y’all Faithful, Regular Readers Know I’m Lying–But It was Fun To Type That Lie: Just One of Life’s Simple Pleasures.)

Catch Y’all On The Flip-Flop…

And don’t forget to follow the white rabbit-

Down The rabbit hole—

If you dare,

I’ll meet you there.

Or if you require a second opinion…

Go ask Alice.

(I think she’ll know.)

*****

(Or The The Dormouse)

And Just-In-Case Somebody Wants to ‘Call Me Out’ On My Spelling:

dormouse is a rodent of the family Gliridae (this family is also variously called Myoxidae or Muscardinidae by different taxonomists). Dormice are nocturnal animals found in Africa, Asia, and Europe, and are particularly known for their long periods of hibernation

*****

(“Hibernation” is probably an option I should Explore.)

****

*****

****

*****

Go Ahead: Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head!

******

For Amelia, Grace, Janis, Karen, Janet, Ela, Sheila, Rhonda, & and Five Dozen Others & More:

Too many mountains and not enough stairs to climb
Too many churches and not enough truth to find
Too many people and not enough eyes to see
Too many lives to lead and not enough time

She’s gone too far

She’s lost the sun

She’s come undone

Vid Street Cred: jthyme

******

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

*****

And when she found out she couldn’t fly

It was too late

MS Icarus

Justin Case…

(Well, You Already Know)

*****

Like Icarus Ascending,

Amelia,

It Was Just A False Alarm.

(Street Cred Vid: sonicboy19)

A most beautiful, wonderful tribute.

Sung by a most beautiful wonderful woman.

Thank you Joni:

“Maybe I’ve Never Really Loved:

I Guess That Is The Truth…”

*****

Anyone Who Reads Me

Knows How Much I love & Admire

Great Women.

Guess What?

Amelia Earhart

Is One of the Greatest, Bravest vet o’ Of Them ALL!!

Forget It: I Need To Die Soon–I tried to make a ‘SHORT LIST’ of all the Women I Love, Respect, and Admire (& Desire!) Such Folly! Who Was I Kidding?! This ‘List’ Just goes on and on and on and on….

Below is just a ‘Short’ Collection of a Few of My Favorite ‘Things

My Humble Tribute to All The Girls

******

I Really Do LOVE You Stevie! You’re the Best of All the Rest.

I Adore You Stevie Nicks! (In Spite of my Recent (playful) Bashings of you)


“Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too
Oh! I’m getting older too”

*****

Let’s Get On With it. Shall we?

“I Regret Nothing”

—Edith

“They put in a Nickle and they want a Dollar Song.”

Beautiful, Beautiful Joni

“When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go…”

Sexy Grace

I tried to make a ‘short’ list of all the women whom I love and admire:

“Yeah! Good Luck With That!”

(The ‘Short’ Part)

  1. Joni
  2. Linda
  3. Barbra
  4. Catherine
  5. Sheryl
  6. Carly
  7. Cher
  8. Ex-wives (all four)
  9. Melanie
  10. Janis
  11. Mom
  12. Christine
  13. Grace
  14. Julie
  15. Madonna
  16. Lanie
  17. Edith
  18. K.D.
  19. Jill
  20. Dolly
  21. Holly
  22. Tanya (Native Texan!)
  23. Judy
  24. Liza (With a ‘Z’ “Not ‘Lisa’ With an ‘S'”)
  25. Dorothy
  26. Camila
  27. Shakira
  28. Stevie (Honorable Mention)
  29. And of Course, My “Lisa With an S” My Third Wife:

Then I ran out of virtual ink

Stray Tuned!

I shall expand!

But I’m in over my head!

Most people who write about ‘Fleetwood Mac’ Write about Stevie.

I write about Christine.

“Christine has such a rich, deep down dark chocolate voice . I love her”

–Lance Marcom, Circa 2021

(Stevie is such a condescending little bitch during this video—Watch it closely. Then you will see what I see)

Song-Bird! No Shit!

Cher! She’s All There:
The Whole Perfection Package.

Carly!

Bat-Shit Crazy & Wild Tanya.
I Love Her Like Cash Money!

Bella Madonna!

Babs!

Joni!!

Grace!

I have not the words to describe how I love this woman.

Catherine! Zeta-Jones!

Love YOU Girl! Lanie!

Linda Baby!

K.D. Yes!

Jill Clayburgh!

First time I saw The movie (Silver Streak) at the Grove Theatre, I thought Jill Clayburgh one of the Most Beautiful and Charming Women in the Entire World.
(And I still Do)

Dolly, A Natural, National Charmer Treasure:

Holly!

“Judy Judy JUDY!”

(SORRY, Cary Grant, And Rock Hudson)

********

Liza!

Dorothy: Epitome of The Perfect American Woman

Vid Creation Cred: Wat Bradford

Camila Darling!

Sexy Shakira!

*****

And This Beat Goes On…

********

I ‘Construct’ My Posts to Entertain.

No other hidden desire resides within me.

If you have come this far, I hope you enjoyed this post at least half as much as I enjoyed constructing it.

‘Twas a “Labour of Love

I May Be Drunk. Sorry If This Post Is All Fukked Up. I May Fix It Later, But Do Not Set Yer Watch… Kinda, Sorta, Maybe, Updated, Expanded, Or Not….More Janis! (Native Texan Gal!) “I Got Dem Ol’ Time Turtle Blues Again Mama!” (Apologies to Janis Joplin)

Janis Joplin / Big Brother and the Holding Company –

“Combination of the Two”

Kozmic Blues

I Love Her!

I Love Her!

I Love Her!

“Freedom’s Just Another Word For Nothin’ Left To Lose—

I’d Trade All My Tomorrows For A Single Yesterday”

I Love Her!

I Love HER!

I Fucking LOVE Her!

I Love Her!

*****

****************

Yet another bit gleaned from my longer post of 29 Jan 2014. 

“‘The Time Has Come,’ The Walrus Said, ‘To Talk of Many Things:

Of Murdered Birds, Of Turtles Green, and Hippies Sellin’ Rings.’”

My mother was probably

“The Original Hippy Chick.”

When Haight-Ashbury was in full bloom, she would not shut up about it until we ventured there.

(Just the two of us. By Ourselves. Mother and Child–You could do that in ’67–No Worries. Don’t try it today. Please Don’t try it today.)

I knew a little of the ‘Hippy Culture’ back then, yet had no desire to experience it ‘up close an’ personal.’

Mom did.

I MISS HER.
I Miss My Mother
I MISS HER FREE SPIRIT

So one bright sunny Saturday morning we packed up the Ol’ Rusty Rambler and headed off to ‘Frisco and Haight-Ashbury.

Okay. Not Really Our ACTUAL Car

But close. Damn close.

To say that trip opened my eyes would be an understatement bordering on felonious.  I was shocked, awed, amazed, bothered, bewildered, enlightened, enchanted, enthralled, and all at the same time.

The whole day was a ‘Whirling Dervish’ of attacks on my senses and emotions. I remember clearly all the people with their long hair, colorful clothing, love beads, head bands, peace signs, guitars, laughter, and smoke coming from everywhere and not smelling at all like the smoke from the cigarettes my mother used to light up.

But most of all, I remember

The Music 

Music was ubiquitous and oh how I did love the music.

We walked up and down those streets for hours and I do believe my mother stopped and purchased some trinket from every single hippy-trinket-seller she visited, which by my estimation, would have been all of two hundred of them.

Not really being a trinkets-man myself, I purchased a pair of small green turtles that I wanted to rescue from a hippy life I was certain they were not well suited for. 

I actually remember telling the turtles during the ride home not to worry; that they were safe now, and also apologizing to them if I had left any of their family members behind due to the fact that my meager allowance did not afford me the luxury of benevolence to purchase freedom for the whole lot of them–Even though I did beg mom for an advance to do just that.

The turtles ended up having a fine long Turtle – Life and were probably the only two green turtles to ever migrate from 

California

 

to

Texas

Texas suited them and me, better. Much better.

Author’s Note: I am a NATIVE Texan. Born in Ladonia, 1957

(Wasn’t MY fault I was forced to live in California for too many years.)

***

As Always, Thank you for visiting and reading. All comments are welcomed.

Wishing Happy Days Ahead to all My Friends.

***

Bonus Added

Added Bonus:

“But you know I’m very well protected –

I know this goddamn life too well.”

***

“Yeah, but I’m gonna take good care of

(Insert your name here)

Yeah,

Honey, ain’t no one gonna dog me down.

Alright, yeah.”

Video Credit:

https://www.youtube.com/user/pridden76