Greta! Garbo!

I have been so in love with you since forever Greta.

–Lance Marcom said that. To her face

(She was not impressed)

She just turned her back and walked away.

Joining MS Muse on the Nasty Couch.

And Certainly Laughing At My Expense…

“I only want to be ‘let’ alone.”

There is all the difference….

Subtle, small words have meaning.

Never forget that.

I will expand on this post later…

Maybe

“What you don’t know about women is a lot.”

–Rose Castorini (Olympia Dukakis)

In This Vid Clip, You Will Discover Lance.

Video Cred: Ted Reinert

Lance loves women;

He just cannot help Himself.

He does not understand them.

Therein lies that magic…

“Moonlight in a Martini.”

(Volumn is fukked. Crank it up!)

Lance Romance.

Added Value:

“Breaks Your Heart Just Lookin’ At Her.”

Snakes and Ladders

–Joni

(If you do not listen carefully to the song… I dropped it in For A Really, Really, Really Good Reason)

(Figure it out–If You Can)

I am flying SOLO NOW!

WISH ME LUCK!

https://texantales.com/2021/02/26/farewell-forevermore-to-my-best-ever-friend-my-abusive-muse-i-am-sad-but-also-happy/

“He Gave up Happy Hour For Her.”

Joni/Muse!

Musing…

“Texan Snowmageddon: A Play in Six Acts,” Or “Thanks 2020 for Bringing 2021 Up-To-Speed.” Nice Hand-Off

First of All…This is a Happy Texan Story,

So do not get prematurely bummed out.

And you may ignore the ‘added value’ of the music and the vids, but you will not experience the ‘full benefit’ if you chose to do that.

“Snowmageddon” has finally been Kicked-to-The Curb.

Texas Survived.

I survived. Had to treat myself for surviving:

HEALTHY CELEBRATION FOOD

HEY! Them crackers had my name on ‘em!

(So did that bottle of wine: ‘Lance Gallo’)

Had to buy ‘em! And bring them home

And Celebrate!

They say (Always “They.” Who are THEY by the way?)

They say, “Bad News Always Comes In Threes.”

Just for me, They Doubled Down:

Three X-2

Yeah, I got far enough in math to learn my multiplication tables.

But not much else…

Here is how it broke down for me:

  1. No electricity
  2. No water
  3. My Ford Explorer Died
  4. My neck is fucked—probably slipped a disk—‘tis a misery, painful
  5. Ran outta booze
  6. Dangerously low on Copenhagen snuff

OK Gonna Break it Down:

Beginning with #2:

“(Ice) Water, water everywhere. And all the boards did shrink. Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink.” Thanks Sam Coleridge.

Throughout it all, The Wonderful Staff here at Lion’s Den were phenomenal.

Every day Deb and Cynthia would deliver bottled water. And following hard behind was the maintenance man, (name escapes me) pushing a cart with two large plastic trash cans full of water. He would provide a bucket of ‘flush water’ to each ‘inmate,’ er… ‘tenant’ for our toilets.

Not sure which I appreciate more.

Nope. That’s a lie:

Appreciated the flush water the much more. (I am a nasty enuff Mo’Fo as is—needed to flush that bitch—trust me on this one Y’all.)

Besides, I had already figured out that I could scoop up fresh snow, let it melt and drink that.

(Shame I had no milk, sugar, and vanilla extract. I could’ve had snow ice cream, and re-visited my misspent youth—alas—missed opportunity)

*****

#1: No Way to Fight The Power—Were’t None

Vid Credit: Joni Journey

No electric was the worst. No electricity meant no internet. No internet meant I was cut-off from the world (And not particularly “up” nor ‘hip’ with my neighbors) I just do not ‘roll’ that way, being somewhat of a “Herman Hermits’ kind of guy…

I did have a flashlight though. It kept me company. I tried to boot up my laptop just to have someone to talk to (yes, I talk to my computers), but I could not remember my password to get it to boot. After the third failed attempt, my laptop told me to fuck off and then she called the NSA.

The roads were impassable so I was not concerned.

#3 Heart of Darkness

I discovered something about myself: I am afraid of the dark. How fucking funny is that?! Me! The two-time almost Navy SEAL!

OK, I was not really afraid, per se, but I was not happy.

What to do?

I climbed into the helm of my ‘Labomba’—Esoteric Peanut vernacular—cranked her up. Turned on the interior lights, the heat, and KETR.

Sat there, listening to NPR’s shit for an hour.

Glanced at my gauges.

Oh SHIT!

Alternator had left town! Battery gasping. Dying.

LaBomba officially dead in the water.

Lance now properly, futurely fucked.

#4 I Drink Alone

Nothing to do now but go back into my sans lightness hovel.

And face my daemons.

Out-Drink ‘em.

Did that.

Drank up the last of my booze.

Sat in the dark for three hours.

Sun came up and I went to sleep.

I had survived.

#5 Pain In My Neck

Been already having this horrible pain in my neck.

Well, Guess what?

It is almost debilitating

And Getting worse.

But I ‘Sailor On.’

“And that is all I’m gonna say about that.”

Thank you Forrest

#6 Out of Copenhagen Snuff.

I am gonna put this one to bed.

Hopefully, ever hopefully,…

I hope y’all have enjoyed my ‘Report’ on how the shit went down for me during the Snow-Apocalypse.

CNN is NOT Calling me for ‘Local Color’ commentary.

I was so hoping and prayin’ and hoping and prayin to talk to Erin…

Erin never called

But then,Guess how many fucks I give.

Cheers Y’all!

More Wasted Pearls-at-Swine Facebook Nonsense Posted By Me. “Latest Styles & Colors!” & Baghdad!

“I am working on a new post, but it is too heavy for FaceBook.

Will publish it on my Blog.

Soon.

Stay tuned!

“Latest Styles & Colors!”

I have six or seven pages of copious notes to make sense of.

May take a day or two.

Meantime, I just drop this bit of frivolity in.”

“Just One More Year/Beer? And Then I’ll Be Happy?” Talk Comes Cheap.

Not That Fridays, or Saturdays, Or Sundays, or Mondays Mean Fuk – All to Me,

But I do recall, Once Upon A Time, That The Day-of-the-Week was important.

These Days, Not So Much.

One Day Just Bleeds Into The Next.

But Y’all know what? I am Good with that.

“Just One More Year And Then I’ll Be Happy.”

I’ve been blowin’ this same old, recycled smoke up my ass all of my life.

The Jews had a better, more sophisticated version:

“Next Year in Jerusalem.”

(Halfway to Jerusalem)

They ‘got theirs’ in ’48.

Cemented in, in ’67.

Where’s mine?

Funny, or perhaps ironic thing, or stupid thing:

I still ‘Mantra’ this Mantra at me, aloud even.

(But always while Alone—Don’t want people to think I AM THAT much Certifiable)

Point is, and I have written on this before…

Point is, I am a Cock-Eyed Optimist.

No one, No Event, No personal Tragedy, No Spilt Booze Will Ever Rob Me of My Naïve Optimism.

(OK, Spilt Booze just Might Make Me Waiver—For a Moment)

But other Than Spilt Booze, Never Gonna Happen. Never gonna lose my optimism

And for that resilient resilience, I am grateful.

*********

Here is the Lame FaceFuk Post which was the Geneses of this TT&H post.

I drop it in only for full-disclosure / transparency purposes.

******

 “You used to think that it was so easy

You used to say that it was so easy

But you’re tryin’, you’re tryin’ now

Another year and then you’ll be happy

Just one more year and then you’ll be happy

But you’re cryin’, you’re cryin’ now.”

(Shared By Lance: “The Happy, Upbeat Camper”)

And Thanks to Gerry

P.S., “And then he’ll settle down, in some quiet little town

And forget about everything.”

Yep. Did that. Doing that.  Livin’ The Dream Right Here in Commerce, America. Who says ‘You can Never Go Home Again?” I call ‘Bullshit’ on That Sentiment.

******

Gentle Readers,

Realizing full-well that I have been on my ‘Soapbox’ of late, and I may have come across as somewhat ‘Preachy,’ but please understand:

I am NOT trying to tell ANYONE how to live their life.

I am merely communicating how I choose to live mine.

For me: It is a ‘Survival Thing.’

And if, by some Disturbance in the Ether, just one person ‘Gets’ me.

That is just gravy—and worth my efforts.

Cheers Y’all!

–Lance

*****

I drop this in for levity.

Because, as is my wont, I always try to end a post with a bit of humor.

This clip is not at all germane, but actually…

If you explore my archives and read about my relationships with women, it kinda is…

Germane

Institutionalized ‘R’ Us: Or, That Place I Need/Want To Be

How I sometimes See/Experience My Mental Life:

I have come to the stark realization that I am at my best when institutionalized.

Long and varied History of this

Follow The Orange Brick Roads if You Be Fearless, or Feckless–Either Works For Me:

My point, if I have one, is that I need ‘Structure/Routine/Schedule’ in my life.

Without routine/structure in my life…

This is one reason I was a good SFM/Egypt/Israel Man.

And such a great Sailor/Military Man.

And such a good Iraq Man

And such a good… Fuck it!

Y’all have picked up on my point.

Without routine/structure in my life…

I become self-destructive.

No! I do NOT slice my wrists.

I do NOT (overmuch) eat garbage food.

I do not (overmuch) drink too much OK, THAT is a Bald-Faced Lie.

I do NOT Listen (overmuch) to Disco.

I do NOT (overmuch) watch CNN.

I do not (overmuch) shit-post on Facebook.

But What I actually do and do too overmuch and over the top, is think too much.

Way too much

Reflect too much.

****

Returning to the original point of this post:

I need to be institutionalized.

Or as my Father once confided in me:

“I live in my own little world, but it’s okay: They know me there.”

****

Flash Forward to ‘Present Day’:

Here we discover Lance, Living Large in The Lion’s Den.

No schedule.

No responsibilities

Nowhere to need to be

Sustainable cash inflow (Thanks Social Security)

Minimal Friends, FaceBook or otherwise to fret over.

Don’t feel compelled to answer my telephone if I don’t want to.

Valhalla, Right?

Heaven, Right?

Waco Texas, Right?

Wrong!

I am in Peril: With a capital ‘P’.

Left alone to my own devices and vices…

Well, it ain’t pretty.

And it ain’t nothin’ nice.

*****

I may or may not expand upon this derailed train of thought.

We’ll see.

(If I get any feedback, I’ll make an effort)

But, Y’all do realize, I am so busy right now going insane—almost a full-time job—requires almost all of my creative capital and ‘mental’ energy.

But, Please Stay Tuned.

Because if I know nothing else, I know I love my Readers.

Cheers Y’all,

–Lancers

P.S., Fairly Certain I would do quite well in Prison

(I have already been over the years)

But Pretty sure if I wanted to go to a ‘Real’ Prison, I could figure out how to get my cab fare–gratis

–L