OH MY FU*KIN’ GOD! “Thanks God For Giving A Shit About Me!” And For Being So Generous & Kind As To Send Two Of Your Angels My Way–I Never Even Deserved One.

There Are Still Good Folks In This

Topsy-Turvy Whurl!

(There is a Convoluted Post Buried In Here Somewhere—Good Luck Finding It–I Can’t) Fuk It!

I give up! I’m Gonna Git Drunk!

I Reeeely Do NOT Need Yer Help In This Ambition! / Enterprise / Surprized?

“Hitch Slap!

Blap!

I Did NOT Ask To Drop This In

But Word-Depressed Decided It was ‘Poingnant’

Trusst me:

It Ain’t

Fuck Word-Press!

Cred for Vid Share: YouTube Movies & Shows

Hitch Bitch Slaps His Brother!

Don’t Even Get Me Started On This Clip(

Please View It; It Is Brief)

Within the short time span of less than thirty minutes

Two of my neighbors

Both chunky black women

Brought me

“Thanks – Giving”

I am truly Blessed

And

Thankful

For

Good People

Good Women

I used

The

“G”
Word

On Both of Them:

I said,

“God Bless You”

Blasphemy!

And All Y’all Know I am An Atheist

If There is a HELL, I’m A-Going There

But Not Today

Okay?

*******

The Charlie Daniels Band –

“The Devil Went Down to Georgia”

He Shoulda Stayed In Dallas:

We Love Him There

Cred To Rusty Weir

(Russell Allen “Rusty” Wier was an American singer-songwriter from Austin, Texas)

******

******

Just Yet One More Of My

“Spirit Animals”

Doug Kershaw – Louisiana Man

Scrazy Insane Cajun Motherfu*ker!

Travis Tritt – Love of a Woman

What They Brought Me!

These Ladies Truly Touched My Heart

********

Whitney Houston – I’m Every Woman:

Wow!

Just

Wow!

There are still good people in this world!

I Must Hang Onto That Faith.

There Is No Other Option For My Psyche

****

It Was Just A False Alarm. Screw It! “This is Really Stupid, But I Re-Post it Anyway. “When The Men On The Chessboard Get Up & Tell You Where To Go…”

I have spent no less than fifteen years in war zones.

All over the world.

Does this make me special?

Bet your ass it does.

I’ve see some shit.

Lived some shit.

Lost good friends.

Made new ones.

Moved on.

I’m gonna ‘Unplug’ for a spell:

For Mental Health Reasons

(Of Course All Y’all Faithful, Regular Readers Know I’m Lying–But It was Fun To Type That Lie: Just One of Life’s Simple Pleasures.)

Catch Y’all On The Flip-Flop…

And don’t forget to follow the white rabbit-

Down The rabbit hole—

If you dare,

I’ll meet you there.

Or if you require a second opinion…

Go ask Alice.

(I think she’ll know.)

*****

(Or The The Dormouse)

And Just-In-Case Somebody Wants to ‘Call Me Out’ On My Spelling:

dormouse is a rodent of the family Gliridae (this family is also variously called Myoxidae or Muscardinidae by different taxonomists). Dormice are nocturnal animals found in Africa, Asia, and Europe, and are particularly known for their long periods of hibernation

*****

(“Hibernation” is probably an option I should Explore.)

****

*****

****

*****

Go Ahead: Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head!

******

For Amelia, Grace, Janis, Karen, Janet, Ela, Sheila, Rhonda, & and Five Dozen Others & More:

Too many mountains and not enough stairs to climb
Too many churches and not enough truth to find
Too many people and not enough eyes to see
Too many lives to lead and not enough time

She’s gone too far

She’s lost the sun

She’s come undone

Vid Street Cred: jthyme

******

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

*****

And when she found out she couldn’t fly

It was too late

MS Icarus

Justin Case…

(Well, You Already Know)

*****

Like Icarus Ascending,

Amelia,

It Was Just A False Alarm.

(Street Cred Vid: sonicboy19)

A most beautiful, wonderful tribute.

Sung by a most beautiful wonderful woman.

Thank you Joni:

“Maybe I’ve Never Really Loved:

I Guess That Is The Truth…”

*****

Anyone Who Reads Me

Knows How Much I love & Admire

Great Women.

Guess What?

Amelia Earhart

Is One of the Greatest, Bravest vet o’ Of Them ALL!!

Yep. My Mind Has Gone Awry: Into That ‘Null-an’ Void Territory’–The Black Hole ‘Land Of The Time Sink’– “Meet Mr. Lance, BROADCAST NEWS JUNKIE”

Into The Perilous Void:

Richard Pryor: The Wino and The Junkie

“Better Lay Off That Narcotic Ni*gger”:

“That Shit Done Made You Null And Void”

*****

Yes, this is a ‘Shit Post’

F*ck it!

Watch the below vid.

You will laugh your ass off.

Ditto this one below

Vid Cred: MAD LAB

***

But this is a light-hearted Shit Post, mocking me even more than I mock Broadcast News: CNN, MSNBC, Fox, Etcetera & Ad Nausea

And I am stalling, waiting for MS Muse to respond to my recent

Proposal of Marriage

She is sitting on the couch as I type these words.

(Yeah, she came home after the lights and water were restored)

I am beginning to find her a ‘fair-weather’ muse. Just sayin’.

Don’t matter. I still love her.

She had all her props:

  • Glass of Pinot.
  • Virginia Slim
  • Cell Phone
  • IPad
  • NY Times, Washington Post, And Waco Weekly Wipe
  • Attitude

Yeah. There’s that.

Always that.

Always That Attitude: Nuclear Option

*****

This post cannot stand alone on my prose.

The vids are requisite.

“I just have to look good; I don’t have to be clear.”

The volume is borked. So CRANK it up. (Video Credit: Video Music, via The YouTubes—Duh!)

Love Broadcast News.

Love Mocking Broadcast News.

Love the Eye-Candy ‘Info-Babes’ on Broadcast News. (Broadcast News puts the ‘Broad’ in News)

Andrea Tantaros CNN Bra Size & Measurements

Andrea Tantaros: CNN, Bra Size & Measurements

Guys, you know you want me to drop the link.

No!

Suffer in Silence

*******

Love that I harbor no true malice toward Broadcast News, but G’damn! they are so transparent with their bias.

Added Value: Holly-Go-Lightly

I sincerely hope you have enjoyed this brief interlude shit post I wrote while cooling my heels waiting for MS Muse to respond to my Proposal of Marriage

Cheers!

(‘Story at Eleven’)

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’

Credit to John Ward: Genius Man

“No, it’s awful.”

My Cross to bear

My Spirit ‘Man-able’: Ted Koppel

Video Compilation Credit Below: iLoveChrisCuomo

Uh… Homo-Erotica?

CNN: The Most Trusted Name In News?

Am I homo-phobic?

No! But these two wear me out!

Some of my Best Friends are Fags (This is a JOKE BTW!)

“I love you Don Lemon.”

You never fail to entertain.

Now Please Excuse me while I puke—‘vacuate’ my stomach.

And my mind.

“The Memes Become Reality”

–IanMilesCheong

Don & Chris:

Two Marshmallows Colliding in Mid-Air:

Ignore the below, the last on your radio dial, because WordPress is FUCKED UP!

Won’t let me delete it!

It just keeps spinning ‘round an’ ‘round sucking up bandwidth.

Bandwidth I have not to spare,

Nor desire to share.

Fuck you WordPress!

“Uploading” it perpetually says.

Hey Whore-Press!

How ‘bout I ‘upload’ my Nine Millimeter into your dome?

How would that grab ya?

Add-Din-Dumb:

I got ‘on the horn’ w/WP

Kind service rep fixed my problem.

Toot Sweet

All-in-all, WP has Great Customer Service.

No denying that.

I take back my un-happy words hurled at WordPress… until the next time…

Good Health (And Insanity) Is Just A State of Mind

Of Course I Could Be Wrong…

(As Unlikely As That Is, I Suppose It Is Within The Realm Of Possibility)

Here is what I eat lately:

Time for a change?

Most likely

****

“Dreams Unwind; Love’s a State of Mind.”

(Thanks Stevie)

***

Bonus Added Value:

I Love New York City

Shhhhh!

Don’t tell Any Texans You May Know

It Won’t Be Nothin’ Nice

They’ll Clip My Wings

And Throw me UNDER The Alamo

Mum’s The Word

Okay?

Our Little Secret

Billy Joel – New York State Of Mind 

This is Really Stupid, But I Re-Post it Anyway. “When The Men On The Chessboard Get Up & Tell You Where To Go…”

I have spent no less than fifteen years in war zones.

All over the world.

Does this make me special?

Bet your ass it does.

I’ve see some shit.

Lived some shit.

Lost good friends.

Made new ones.

Moved on.

I’m gonna ‘Unplug’ for a spell:

For Mental Health Reasons

(Of Course All Y’all Faithful, Regular Readers Know I’m Lying–But It was Fun To Type That Lie: Just One of Life’s Simple Pleasures.)

Catch Y’all On The Flip-Flop…

And don’t forget to follow the white rabbit-

Down The rabbit hole—

If you dare,

I’ll meet you there.

Or if you require a second opinion…

Go ask Alice.

(I think she’ll know.)

*****

(Or The The Dormouse)

And Just-In-Case Somebody Wants to ‘Call Me Out’ On My Spelling:

dormouse is a rodent of the family Gliridae (this family is also variously called Myoxidae or Muscardinidae by different taxonomists). Dormice are nocturnal animals found in Africa, Asia, and Europe, and are particularly known for their long periods of hibernation

*****

(“Hibernation” is probably an option I should Explore.)

****

*****

****

*****

Go Ahead: Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head.

Feed Your Head!

******

For Amelia, Grace, Janis, Karen, Janet, Ela, Sheila, Rhonda, & and Five Dozen Others & More:

Too many mountains and not enough stairs to climb
Too many churches and not enough truth to find
Too many people and not enough eyes to see
Too many lives to lead and not enough time

She’s gone too far

She’s lost the sun

She’s come undone

Vid Street Cred: jthyme

******

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

Too many lives to lead and not enough time

*****

And when she found out she couldn’t fly

It was too late

MS Icarus

Justin Case…

(Well, You Already Know)

*****

Like Icarus Ascending,

Amelia,

It Was Just A False Alarm.

(Street Cred Vid: sonicboy19)

A most beautiful, wonderful tribute.

Sung by a most beautiful wonderful woman.

Thank you Joni:

“Maybe I’ve Never Really Loved:

I Guess That Is The Truth…”

*****

Anyone Who Reads Me

Knows How Much I love & Admire

Great Women.

Guess What?

Amelia Earhart

Is One of the Greatest, Bravest vet o’ Of Them ALL!!

So What? I’m Stupid. Israel is on my Mind. Uniquely Random Memories from the Middle East Continued

“We made love in that birdhouse after sundown. And with the door open. And why not? We were young. (And we had all that ‘Diplomatic Immunity’ bullshit to boot)”

Thus ended my last ‘serious’ transmission regarding my recently orphaned series, bits of which may be found here  here  here  here…

WordPress is not Facebook and I would do well to remember this, yet if memory serves, the above is indeed how I did in fact, end my last sober transmission regarding this never-ending (Insha’Allah) story I still call without shame or sham, My Life.

Guess what Friends.  I am gonna end it now. Hang onto yer butts.

All true, but I have a tendency to grow bored with my own writing and this does not bode well, well…

I have just recently been returned from my Sabbatical, (kicking and screaming) which was spent in some dark happy place looking for answers. Finding none, save one, I have returned to these pages more or less now unobstructed and with fresh thoughts unobscured.

“Whatever does he mean, “Unobstructed”? “Hey Y’all! Come look he’ah! Lance done lost his mind!” (a-gin)

Means, Dear Readers that I am just gonna tell “THE TRUTH” from now on. Not that I have not ‘til now been telling same but, now I am gonna tell the Whole Truth, because by omission, I have been lying.

No Sugar, no mas.

This I gleaned from my Sabbatical. “So thanks Sabra. And thanks for the lobotomy, and gee! That shock therapy was da bomb!”

Stay tuned…

Oh! And to tie up that last loose end:

Janet and I spent a wonderful day or two at Sharm, then went back to SFM and carried on. Things kinda went to shit after that… for a spell.

But then we got married and it was all copacetic–For about two hours.

Yes it was on our honeymoon and we got into an argument and ended up after the ceremony un-ceremoniously sailing our newly purchased and vowed-upon wedding rings off the balcony of the Sheraton Hotel, (tenth floor) gleefully watching them bounce on the sand in front of the Mediterranean Sea, to wait there for some intrepid happy beach comber to later discover and claim ‘pirate treasure’ no doubt from Sodom and Gomorrah… (Yes, American tourists are stupid)

After we had ‘dissolved’ our new marriage in that ancient simple way,  we went back to drinking and fucking, and for some I suppose that is what one could call a decent marriage, at least in the early stages.

And honestly, I think that is all way too much information about my time spent with her and Moses in Sinai and in the ‘Rest-of-the-Holy-Land.’

But perhaps not.

(See? I am sharing “deep thoughts” here) with you thanks to my newly ended Sabbatical. Now don’t you feel ‘very unique’? (Ed. Note: I HATE that! There are no degrees of ‘unique’. You can look it up)

If ya wanna…

 Addendum:

I really don’t want to write about Janet but… damn it! She is such a wonderful, truly true, truly colorful, truly unique, one-hundred-and-one pounds of fun character, especially after we arrived in Nacogdoches Texas and began our ‘unique’ married life.

We are all, all of us, ‘very unique individuals’.

Ain’t we?

Or aren’t we all just deluding our own unique selves?

Probably will be continued when They let me out again for ‘Social Time’

mscientist 

And Finally I leave you with a good Sunday Morning Song. We used to sing this as we ran in formation to chow when I was in BUD/s Class 158. Can you imagine? Probably not.

Video Credit: 

 tnDianna

Now I sing this every morning… in the shower… with the hot water… so no one will ever hear…

Vid credit? I suppose Sheryl…

And the final finally, I leave Y’all with the most perfect’est Sunday Morning Song:

(Yeah! Sheryl is a sxy Goddess. Ain’t she?!)

Video Credit: Public Domain (I hope)