Category Archives: Joni

Have I Ever Re-Posted This? Screw It! “Ooops I did it Again!” (Sorry Britney) I tried to make a ‘SHORT LIST’ of all the Women I Love, Respect, and Admire (& Desire!) Such Folly! Who TF Was I Kidding?! I’m Just a Simple Sailor

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Below is just a ‘Short’ Collection of a Few of My Favorite ‘Things‘

My Humble Tribute to All The Girls

******

I Really Do LOVE You Stevie! You’re the Best of All the Rest.

I Adore You Stevie Nicks! (In Spite of my Recent (playful) Bashings of you)


“Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too
Oh! I’m getting older too”

*****

Let’s Get On With it. Shall we?

“I Regret Nothing”

—Edith

“They put in a Nickle and they want a Dollar Song.”

Mel!

Beautiful, Beautiful Joni

“When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go…”

Sexy Grace

I tried to make a ‘short’ list of all the women whom I love and admire:

“Yeah! Good Luck With That!”

(The ‘Short’ Part)

  1. Joni
  2. Linda
  3. Barbra
  4. Sheryl
  5. Carly
  6. Cher
  7. Ex-wives (all four)
  8. Melanie
  9. Janis
  10. Mom
  11. Christine
  12. Grace
  13. Julie
  14. Madonna
  15. Lanie
  16. Edith
  17. K.D.
  18. Jill
  19. Dolly
  20. Holly
  21. Tanya (Native Texan!)
  22. Judy
  23. Liza (With a ‘Z’ “Not ‘Lisa’ With an ‘S'”)
  24. Dorothy
  25. Camila
  26. Shakira
  27. Stevie (Honorable Mention)
  28. And of Course, My “Lisa With an S” My Third Wife:
The Flat-Bed Truck and The Pastel Sun-Dress

Then I ran out of virtual ink

Stray Tuned!

I shall expand!

But I’m in over my head!

Most people who write about ‘Fleetwood Mac’ Write about Stevie.

I write about Christine.

“Christine has such a rich, deep down dark chocolate voice . I love her”

–Lance Marcom, Circa 2021

(Stevie is such a condescending little bitch during this video—Watch it closely. Then you will see what I see)

Song-Bird! No Shit!

Cher! She’s All There:
The Whole Perfection Package.

Carly!

Bat-Shit Crazy & Wild Tanya.
I Love Her Like Cash Money!

Bella Madonna!

Babs!

Joni!!

Grace!

I have not the words to describe how I love this woman.

Love YOU Girl! Lanie!

Linda Baby!

K.D. Yes!

Jill Clayburgh!

First time I saw The movie (Silver Streak) at the Grove Theatre, I thought Jill Clayburgh one of the Most Beautiful and Charming Women in the Entire World.
(And I still Do)

Dolly, A Natural, National Charmer Treasure:

Holly!

“Judy Judy JUDY!”

(SORRY, Cary Grant, And Rock Hudson)

********

Liza!

Dorothy: Epitome of The Perfect American Woman

Vid Creation Cred: Wat Bradford

Camila Darling!

Sexy Shakira!

*****

And This Beat Goes On…

********

I ‘Construct’ My Posts to Entertain.

No other hidden desire resides within me.

If you have come this far, I hope you enjoyed this post at least half as much as I enjoyed constructing it.

‘Twas a “Labour of Love“

Speaking of… NY City & Liza Minnelli… CNN Ruined My New Year’s Eve Experience!

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I NEVER Go Out On New Years Eve.

Why? One might ask.

I refuse to drink with amateurs.

That’s why.

***

I’m just a-sittin’ here, tryin’ to get drunker ‘n’ Cooter Brown.

And BTW, Who The Fu*k is ‘Cooter Brown’?

Found Him!

Bears a Striking Resemblance to Your

Humble Raconteur

(Ain’t He Precious & Cute & Cuddly?)

HaHaHa!

****

I LOVE NYC (or at least my fantasy nostalgic version of it from The Forties)
For Lance, The New Year Only Begins when New York City drops that Big Ball in Times’ Square.
This year they ‘Dropped the Proverbial Ball.”

(Or did drop the Actual Beautiful Big Shiny Ball–I honestly don’t know–Because–CNN)

And chose to broadcast fucking car commercials instead.
Fu*k you NYC! I am finally so OVER You!
(I am gonna remain in Texas.)
IF they did actually literally drop the Big Ball, fuck you CNN because you did NOT SHOW it.
Fucked up my New Years’ EVE Experience
Fu*k you CNN!
(If anyone can find a video of the Ball Drop from tonight, 2020, if there actually is one, please send it to me—I wanna see it)
I am so pissed that I don’t even wanna watch Lame-Ass Don Lemon get drunk.

(What a Fuckkking IDIOT Moron HE is, but THAT IS A DIFFERENT POST)

From a recent Facefuk Post of Mine:

“I CANNOT wait to watch DON LEMON make a complete and absolute ass/fool of himself tonight.

He never fails to ‘deliver.’  And make me LMFAO!

(Watching CNN ‘do’ NEW YEARS EVE has become a Lance Marcom ‘Family Tradition.’)”

Fu*k it!

The Magic is GONE!
Not a propitious beginning for 21!
I fear we are gonna be more properly FU*KED than we already are….
We got No Karma to cash in.

The below is a powerfully, passionate, Magical rendition of one of my all-time favorite songs.
Way to Go Liza!

“Liza with A ‘Z’”

(Only ‘true’ Liza Fans will Catch the reference)
Bravo!
I have always loved you ‘Lisa’…

Opps! Sorry! Oh of course, only real Liza fans will get the joke.
(But of course, you already know that)

OK. Just gonna throw this in for reference (This post is all over the place. Unlikely I will ever ‘come back’ and clean it up)

Anyway… more on Liza:

“Liza with a ‘Z’. Not ‘Lisa’ with an ‘S’”
–Liza
(Old album of hers that I wore out listening to over and over and over and over again.)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWURas7fYwk

I love you Liza!

This Rare Time, The ‘Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences’

Got it Right:

Life is a Fucking Cabaret.
Try Living it!

*******

Oh! And lest I forget to drop this in:

I also laugh my ass off watching these Bobbsey Twin Idiots:
Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper
CNN, You are a FU*KING JOKE!
I don’t want to be unkind, but these two assholes wear me out with their fake, forced banter.

FUCK YOU CNN!

I drop in something more “Happy” and “Upbeat” Below

FUCK TWENTY-TWENTY VISION!

(I have reading glasses–I can see the truth)

FUCK 2020!

(And YOUR lack of Compassion for Humanity)

“Hey Twenty-Twenty One!

Don’t make me angry.

You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

(Just trust me on this and keep your mouth shut and your ears open)

And of course, I am the quintessential ‘Dancing Clown’

(This should go without saying)

There has never been, nor never will be, a woman in ‘my life’–virtual or otherwise–that I will love more than Joni.

And if you have ‘groan-tired’ of me bangin’ on about (Joan) Joni you are visiting the wrong blog. Go Away!

“Cherchez la femme
Whenever love comes around
Someone’s a dancin’ clown
Cherchez la femme
Whenever hearts start to pound
Someone’s a dancin’ clown”

C’est moi Joni.

C’est Moi!

A Dancing clown.

C’est Moi!

More Joni may be found here (If you give a fuck, that is)

Have I Ever Re-Posted This? Screw It! “Ooops I did it Again!” (Sorry Britney) I tried to make a ‘SHORT LIST’ of all the Women I Love, Respect, and Admire (& Desire!) Such Folly! Who TF Was I Kidding?! I’m Just a Simple Sailor

by

0

Below is just a ‘Short’ Collection of a Few of My Favorite ‘Things‘

My Humble Tribute to All The Girls

******

I Really Do LOVE You Stevie! You’re the Best of All the Rest.

I Adore You Stevie Nicks! (In Spite of my Recent (playful) Bashings of you)


“Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too
Oh! I’m getting older too”

*****

Let’s Get On With it. Shall we?

“I Regret Nothing”

—Edith

“They put in a Nickle and they want a Dollar Song.”

Mel!

Beautiful, Beautiful Joni

“When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go…”

Sexy Grace

I tried to make a ‘short’ list of all the women whom I love and admire:

“Yeah! Good Luck With That!”

(The ‘Short’ Part)

  1. Joni
  2. Linda
  3. Barbra
  4. Sheryl
  5. Carly
  6. Cher
  7. Ex-wives (all four)
  8. Melanie
  9. Janis
  10. Mom
  11. Christine
  12. Grace
  13. Julie
  14. Madonna
  15. Lanie
  16. Edith
  17. K.D.
  18. Jill
  19. Dolly
  20. Holly
  21. Tanya (Native Texan!)
  22. Judy
  23. Liza (With a ‘Z’ “Not ‘Lisa’ With an ‘S'”)
  24. Dorothy
  25. Camila
  26. Shakira
  27. Stevie (Honorable Mention)
  28. And of Course, My “Lisa With an S” My Third Wife:
The Flat-Bed Truck and The Pastel Sun-Dress

Then I ran out of virtual ink

Stray Tuned!

I shall expand!

But I’m in over my head!

Most people who write about ‘Fleetwood Mac’ Write about Stevie.

I write about Christine.

“Christine has such a rich, deep down dark chocolate voice . I love her”

–Lance Marcom, Circa 2021

(Stevie is such a condescending little bitch during this video—Watch it closely. Then you will see what I see)

Song-Bird! No Shit!

Cher! She’s All There:
The Whole Perfection Package.

Carly!

Bat-Shit Crazy & Wild Tanya.
I Love Her Like Cash Money!

Bella Madonna!

Babs!

Joni!!

Grace!

I have not the words to describe how I love this woman.

Love YOU Girl! Lanie!

Linda Baby!

K.D. Yes!

Jill Clayburgh!

First time I saw The movie (Silver Streak) at the Grove Theatre, I thought Jill Clayburgh one of the Most Beautiful and Charming Women in the Entire World.
(And I still Do)

Dolly, A Natural, National Charmer Treasure:

Holly!

“Judy Judy JUDY!”

(SORRY, Cary Grant, And Rock Hudson)

********

Liza!

Dorothy: Epitome of The Perfect American Woman

Vid Creation Cred: Wat Bradford

Camila Darling!

Sexy Shakira!

*****

And This Beat Goes On…

********

I ‘Construct’ My Posts to Entertain.

No other hidden desire resides within me.

If you have come this far, I hope you enjoyed this post at least half as much as I enjoyed constructing it.

‘Twas a “Labour of Love“

Must Re-Post. Got To. Joni is Always Inside My Head, Permanently Double-Parked On My Frontal Lobe. “We’re Captive on a Carousel of Time.” I have Lost My Mind!

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Danger! Will Robinson!

This post is

RAW!

I ‘might’ edit it later

(But Do Not Count On It!)

I have no fucking idea why I am posting this.

Actually,

I do.

It is because Joni Mitchell has shaped my life (in the best way) more than all the women (combined) who so desperately tried (and failed) to do so.

******

There will NEVER be a woman I love more than Joni Mitchell,

And I have never even seen her in person,

But I have never even seen Shakespeare either.

In person.

So… Fucking What!

Recent FB Stupid post of mine:

I’d just be happy with a sideways glance from her at me from 200 meters as she bordered her Lear Jet. I would be happy and sated enough to just lie down and die right then and there.

Right fucking there on the tarmac.

My last happy dying thought: Joni looked at me. Ever so briefly, but that is all I deserved.

I do not believe in God.

I do not believe in Yoga.

I do not Believe in Ghost-Busters

I do not believe in Chocolate Milk

*****

But I do believe in Joni.

I can hear/see/watch Joni.

Cannot do that with any God.

*******

More convoluted FaceFuk Shit:

I love Joni.

Joni don’t love me

Why not? You may ask.

Because She doesn’t even know I exist.

(I am about to spill A-LOT  of Virtual ink on Joni—- Once again)

Why? Because I love her so much more than all the Tea In China.

Stay tuned!

It ain’t raining here, but I don’t care!

As in general,

WordPress is Fucking Stupid!

There is a Great Link Below To A wonderful Complexation/Complication/Compy-lication, Complied Collection… of Joni Music….

But Y’all gonna have to don them Coke-Bottle-Bottom glasses to see it.

Great Songs for a Rainy Day

Joni! I love love LOVE You!

You have  continuously and always Enriched my Life!

When I die… I want the two people at my funeral as they spread the dirt over me… One would be Joni. The other is a person to be named later… to listen to “Circle Game”—-(see comments if you give at least one fuck)

*****

Just a little more FB Fun…

Quite Honestly

And quite Frankly…

I do not understand…

Why the FUCK…

I waste even one second of what little, finite time…

That remains for me

On This...

Blue, Beautiful Blue Marble…

On Fukkin FaceBook!

Joni has written, sung & performed some of the most beautiful songs in The History of Song,
but I say this w/o apology:
This is my favorite:
‘Circle Game.’
The older I grow, the more it moves me to tears.
I listen to it over and over again.
At least five or seven, or twenty times a day….
Every fukkin’ day.

****

Sometimes…

I wake up…

And this song is playing in my head!

So guess what I do!

I queue it up, and listen.

Star-Struck

And perpetually…

Amazed!

(And re-enforced just once more in love with, with Joni–As if! As if, I ever would need a booster shot!)

That is a Ridiculous Thought

******

JONI!

I LOVE YOU!

I LOVE YOU!

I LOVE YOU!!

(Huge Surprise, n’est-ca faux ‘paw’?)

*****

Precious Few Catch My Twisted…

Sense Of Humour.

Vid Cred: JoniJourney

PPS 2021

There is too much ‘Joni’ running about (on the internet)

Of late.

Why????

Because we are about to lose her.

She is dying.

I do NOT wannna live in a world without Joni.

But…

If offered the option…

I chose life.

Just as I chose Shakespeare.

Joni

Dead or alive.

I love.

I love her.

I will always love her.

On my death bed…

I will say

“At least I knew Joni”

Just Joan, Great Songs for a Rainy Day. Guess Whut? It Ain’t Rainin’ Today. Or Yesterday. Or The Day Before. Guess I’ll Just Have to Pretend.

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“Here in Savannah  Memphis it’s pourin’ rain
“Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane.

“Will you still love me when I get back to town?”

vid credit: Christian T. Davies

Not really melancholy, but if I were, this song just might push me further that way, in that direction.

Peace,

-Lance

Real sorry, but I am now officially delirious with tooth pain. This tooth is some kind of bitch, let me tell ya.

Obviously sleep is not an option.

(The pain is just too overwhelming)

So… I just sit here and post stupid shit to take my mind away.

“Calgone! Take me Away!’

“I am as constant as a Northern Star.”

Vid credit: novaultrano1

“Constantly in the darkness? Where’s that at? If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.”

I guess it’s just a Joni kind of day…

“Laughin’ an’ cryin’. You know it’s the same release.

“I told you when I met you, I was crazy.”

Vid credit: Christian T. Davies

OK, last one and then I’m done (I really need to find something else to do with my hands)

“Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing.”

Video credit: JoniJourney

“Fell in hate and called it love”

One of her BEST Below

A beautiful tribute to an American Icon: Amelia Mary Earhart

(And yes. I know there is A LOT more going on in this song. I am not stupid.)

“Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms”

–Joni

One of my favorite Amelia quotes:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life and the procedure. The process is its own reward.”

Video Credit: sonicboy19

Bonus on “Hissing of Summer Lawns”
A great and respectful analysis

Vid Cred: For Most of the above: JoniJourney

(I am too lazy to Break it Down)

*****

Don’t let this Bring You Down. It is a Beautiful Song, Performed by a Beautifully Sensitive, Thoughtful Lady.

Street Cred for Vid: Leeshan

So Sorry Y’all, But I am Feelin’ Melancholy. Joni is On-My-Mind! “We’re Captive on a Carousel of Time.” I have Lost My Mind! Do Not Read This Self-Serving Vanity Post! It Is-‘Eyes Only’–For Joni.

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“Circle Game”

Reckless Daughter

“A Strange Boy”

Oh Boy! How I can Relate

I LiVe Live Johnie– Go figger

Danger! Will Robinson!

This post is

RAW!

I ‘might’ edit it later

(But Do Not Count On It!)

I have no fucking idea why I am posting this.

Actually,

I do.

It is because Joni Mitchell has shaped my life (in the best way) more than all the women (combined) who so desperately tried (and failed) to do so.

******

There will NEVER be a woman I love more than Joni Mitchell,

And I have never even seen her in person,

But I have never even seen Shakespeare either.

In person.

So… Fucking What!

Recent FB Stupid post of mine:

I’d just be happy with a sideways glance from her at me from 200 meters as she bordered her Lear Jet. I would be happy and sated enough to just lie down and die right then and there.

Right fucking there on the tarmac.

My last happy dying thought: Joni looked at me. Ever so briefly, but that is all I deserved.

I do not believe in God.

I do not believe in Yoga.

I do not Believe in Ghost-Busters

I do not believe in Chocolate Milk

*****

But I do believe in Joni.

I can hear/see/watch Joni.

Cannot do that with any God.

*******

More convoluted FaceFuk Shit:

I love Joni.

Joni don’t love me

Why not? You may ask.

Because She doesn’t even know I exist.

(I am about to spill A-LOT  of Virtual ink on Joni—- Once again)

Why? Because I love her so much more than all the Tea In China.

Stay tuned!

It ain’t raining here, but I don’t care!

As in general,

WordPress is Fucking Stupid!

There is a Great Link Below To A wonderful Complexation/Complication/Compy-lication, Complied Collection… of Joni Music….

But Y’all gonna have to don them Coke-Bottle-Bottom glasses to see it.

Great Songs for a Rainy Day

Joni! I love love LOVE You!

You have  continuously and always Enriched my Life!

When I die… I want the two people at my funeral as they spread the dirt over me… One would be Joni. The other is a person to be named later… to listen to “Circle Game”—-(see comments if you give at least one fuck)

*****

Just a little more FB Fun…

Quite Honestly

And quite Frankly…

I do not understand…

Why the FUCK…

I waste even one second of what little, finite time…

That remains for me

On This...

Blue, Beautiful Blue Marble…

On Fukkin’ FaceBook!

Joni has written, sung & performed some of the most beautiful songs in The History of Song,
but I say this w/o apology:
This is my favorite:
‘Circle Game.’
The older I grow, the more it moves me to tears.
I listen to it over and over again.
At least five or seven, or twenty times a day….
Every fukkin’ day.

****

Sometimes…

I wake up…

And this song is playing in my head!

So guess what I do!

I queue it up, and listen.

Star-Struck

And perpetually…

Amazed!

(And re-enforced just once more in love with, with Joni–As if! As if, I ever would need a booster shot!)

That is a Ridiculous Thought

******

JONI!

I LOVE YOU!

(Huge Surprise, n’est-ca faux ‘paw’?)

*****

Precious Few Catch My Twisted…

Sense Of Humour.

Vid Cred: JoniJourney

PPS 2021

There is too much ‘Joni’ running about (on the internet)

Of late.

Why????

Because we are about to lose her.

She is dying.

I do NOT wannna live in a world without Joni.

But…

If offered the option…

I chose life.

Just as I chose Shakespeare.

Joni

Dead or alive.

I love.

I love her.

I will always love her.

On my death bed…

I will say

“At least I knew Joni”

She co·erce’d me to examine my life.