I’m So Fricken Stupid… I’ve Misplaced My Mind. Cannot Believe I Actually Wrote This Shite! “Daily Lenny: Judge Aaron Albamiser (sp) And This Has Turned Into a Rant. Sorry…” Well, Fuck Me! Word-De-Pressed Will Not Allow Me to Properly Edit This. Imagine My Surprise!

Shit! This needs to be placed further down, but WordPress is Fukking Stupid. So I am forced to place it here:

Git a Rope

“Cocksucker”

“Two Four Letter Words And A Preposition”

lmfao

P.S., the Fonts in this post ar’ all fucked up. I’m too lazy to fix them. I hope yu can read. If’n Ya wanna….PPS This Post is Rather ZObnoxious and Insulting. If Your Skin Be Thin, Don’t Read It. Just go somewhere else.

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Judge Aaron Albamiser & Lenny Bruce:
“Thick Fingers and a Homemade Glass Eye.”
“A Red-Headed Junk-yard Jew.”

–Lenny

He Said “Blah Blah Blah”

Friends, Romans, (Progressive Texans) & Others:

(Don’t some of Y’all hate to be classified as ‘Others’?

Smacks of Intellectual Racism to me, but that’s just me.)

Don’t you fain to disclaim?

Me no Alamo!

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

How the fuck does it feel?

To be on the long side of the short fence?

For Real?

Lend Me Your Beers!

(And yer FB password. Trust Me. I’m with the Government.)

Here is your (once again belated) Daily Lenny:

And Thanks for Listening, wherever you are.

Let The Buyer Beware

And now I am gonna step out on a limb and say this:

I am with my Brothers and Sisters in the Ukraine.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

(And I do not speak that flippantly; I mean it. The whole world is watching)

Oh, and thanks for listening (Did I say that already?)

Well hell! Appreciation can never be over-played (if it is sincere)

In this case, rest assur’d it is (“Hey Madge?! Did he mean ‘over-played’ or ‘sincere’? Can never get a ‘read’ on this schmuck.”)

Cheers to all.

And if you’d get a kick reading/hearing more about it, go here:

http://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

Simply because, “An uneducated proletariat is a danger to freedom.”

That is My Lance Quote; I just made it up. But, Goddamn it! I do believe it.

“Aw Shit! Lance dun gone Commie on us!. Git a rope!”

Not at all. Nope. Cool yer Heels Cowboy! Lance just knows something has gone horribly wrong…with His Texas, and more importantly, with His America. It used to be His America.

Now, it seems. It ain’t.

*End of Rant*

If you have come thus far…

Well; you are a Commie!

(Just kidding)

And of course…My National Anthem:

Just for Multi-Media Attention:

If You don’t want to stand in-line…well… REFORM

(If Y’all don’t catch my drift… well then:

I am writing with no ink in my virtual pen.

And the line forms to the right. 

Get in-line!

And have fun.

And y’all thought I was bull-shitting when I posted a previous Rant:

Wake Up Lance!

I was speaking To America.

My America.

Addendum:

I just recently completed a Mark Twain Marathon, by Ken Burns.

“Good for you, Lance Marcom; we are happy you are soooo.. much into (Our) American History…”

I wanted such a telegram, but, alas, there are no telegrams today.

So, it may seem I was born too late…

For such Liberty.

No matter.

WE, We, WE can forge our own liberty, in that same same spirit.

If we have the wherewithal.

Alas, I fear we have not.

We have the Constitution; we have The Law of Our Land; we have Our Precedent…

Alas, we have not the will

The Will, we lack . Today .

This was to be… a simple American Call to Arms.

Alas, I do not know if I am young enuff to muster:

My time has long since past.

I have not the passion to fight yet another war.

Lord knows (and that is a metaphor) I have NOT  the will, nor the strength to fight such a war, yet, I am there, in spirit. I would gladly die for MY Country: My long lost America.

Rebel? Most Certainly.

Rebellious against my country?

Never

Therein lies that dilemma,

Not I! For I am too old, and this kind of business falls to younger men

BUT, when I see the masses, the masses, in squalor, I get pissed.

Really pissed.

When CEO’s in this country make ten thousand times more than the workers…

Well, it upsets me.

(any geographical or grammatical errors are surely mine. I do apologize)

These opinions are solely mine own.

Yet, I welcome our modern-day NSA to come knock on MY DOOR.

I certainly do.

Now…

I can finally be sated (for now)

And…I am gonna continue with this for some few weeks, until I give up…

But, Y’all know, when I get unto a ‘kick’ I hang on.

So…we shall see.

–Lance Out

Wow Lance! THAT was some long-winded RANT!

heheheheh

No Worries: Nobody Read it but The NSA of the USA.

There’s somethin’ happening Here…

 

I’m Stupid! (I Wish I Could Properly Edit This. GD U WordPress! I CAINT EDIT THIS! WHY NOT? WHY THE F^CK NOT???!! DO I HAVE TO RE-WRITE IT FROM SCRATCH? I Have Not Time Nor Energy For That! FUK U WORDPRESS!!) *BREAKING BAD NEWS!*

Donny Hathaway – A Song For You

Fukking Beautiful Song

So Poignant

Please Listen

“I’ve Acted Out My Life In Stages.”

Exclusively Here on TT & Hiero-Glyph!

That means you won’t hear it anywhere else! (Because we made it up)

The Results are finally in from yesterday’s, recent,  last week’s election!

Okay was not last week; just seems that way.

Here are the tallies:

Jim Morrison: 20, 000

He is an Accident Going Somewhere to Happen: 20, 001

Walk of Shame: 20,010

The Kind and Good and the Ugly Moral Folks: 20,005

Puddles in My Beer: 0

Now, after some contentiousness, and some hanging chaffs, and some fourteen pissed off, and some sixteen or so pissed on, and some countless bored, and some dead armadillos, and some more hanging chaff, it was decided that the vote went unanimously to:

PUDDLES IN MY BEER!!

(And the crowd went nuts)

“But, but, but, how is that unanimous?” One pollster inquired.

“Because Son,” The State said, “Because theirs was the only un-contested, not so much molested, unambiguous result.”

“Oh.”

Now before we exposé the PUDDLES IN MY BEER platform (gangplank), we must survive the Inauguration Ball.

And here to help us along with that, May I present to Y’all, our most ardent (and redundant) supporters!

Willie And The William’s Boys!

Take it away Boys!

Thanks to Willie an’ Them For that Rather Upbeat Rendition of …what was it again? *taps Willie on the shoulder* “Uh Willie, ya fucked the lyric: it is “Puddles In My Beer”; not ‘bubbles’, get it right fer fuck sake… Goin’ to Austin…I mean DC. Aw shit. Never mind! Just get the damn song right, OK?”

And Thank You Both Hanks for that rather unifying ditty in honor of the forgotten, vanquished.

But now, to prove we are not all that…uh… sanctimonious.

We give some equal / air time to the losers, er, Honorable Opposition:

Take it away Jimmy!

But don’t take it too far or  too long. We are watching you. Loser!

“Uh… Thank you…uh what was your name again? Oh yeah, Jimmy.

Well, Hey! Let’s give a big round of applause for…uh Jimmy and his comedy!”

“Thank you Johnny!”

Tomorrow (Or Next Beer) we will tell you the plan forward.

Hang tight in the meantime.

We love our Country!

(don’t we?)

Didn’t we?

orig flag

Make It Stop! Make it Stop! MAKE IT STOP!! Jesus Christ On-a-Cracker! Please Make It Stop! “This is a Rant. Please Do NOT Read. It is Only For me: Venting. Spewing. Pontificating. Bitching, Moaning, & Complaining.” (But On-The-Record)

Stop saying stupid things…

“Take a Listen.

Jordan Peterson

Far More Eloquent Than I:

Cred For Vid Share: Living your Dreams

**********

*****

The Truth Why Stupid People Think They’re Smart:

Cred for Vid Share: Thoughty2

****

“Take a listen.”

Whaaaat???

Fuck does that mean???

Broadcast news always says, “Take a listen”

Take it where?

Put it where?

In my pocket??

How ’bout this:

I will ‘take’ this ‘listen’, put it in my pocket. Then I will pull it out of my pocket and shove it straight up your ass. Now YOU take it!

How’s that?

How’s it Feel?

How’d That Work Out for Ya?

IDIOTS!

Economy of language!

Now I’ll be the first to admit, I am more verbose than the average mo’fo’ you may encounter, but, but… I at least try to be original.

When did we get so stupid???

“Stupid People”

Cred: George

How about this:

“Here is a video report. Listen to it. Watch it.

If you want

Or Not.”

****

Cred for Vid: AwakenWithJP

****

Can we stop saying ‘take a listen’?

By Valerie StraussJanuary 24, 2016

If you listen to the news — pretty much any channel — it is likely that it won’t take more than a few minutes for you to hear someone say “take a listen” and then go to some video. I know it’s hardly one of the world’s big (or even little) problems, and it’s hardly a new one, but I cringe when I hear it. I’m not the only one.

The authors of the great Grammarphobia blog have been on this since 2008, and following is the post they wrote then, and updated on Saturday, Jan. 23 (which I am republishing with permission). They are Patricia T. O’Conner and Stewart Kellerman, who between them have written five books about the English language and have more than half a century of experience as writers and editors.

They include “Woe Is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English” (O’Conner), “Origins of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language” (O’Connor and Kellerman), and “You Send Me: Getting It Right When You Write Online” (O’Connor and Kellerman).

O’Conner spent 15 years at the New York Times mostly editing at the Book Review but also writing articles and book reviews. She also wrote The Times’s weekly columns on new video releases and paperback books. Kellerman, a foreign correspondent at United Press International, took over that column at the Times, where he worked as an editor, wrote articles on literary subjects and reviewed books.

From the Grammarphobia blog:Q: On CNN, all the anchors use the expression “take a listen” instead of just “listen” or “listen to this.”

Does that sound as caustic to you as it does to me?A: We don’t know about caustic, but it certainly sounds puffed up, condescending, and lame. We could go on, but let us quote from the entry for this “infantile phrase” in The Dimwit’s Dictionary (2d ed.), by Robert Hartwell Fiske:“As inane as it is insulting, have (take) a listen obviously says nothing that listen alone does not. Journalists and media personalities who use this offensive phrase ought to be silenced; businesspeople, dismissed; public officials, pilloried.”Unfortunately, this horse is out of the barn. We just googled “take a listen” and got 725,000 hits.

The expression hasn’t made it yet into modern dictionaries, but The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (5th ed.) and Cambridge Dictionaries Online include examples of somewhat similar usages.Here’s the American Heritage example: “Would you like to give the CD a listen before buying it?”And this is the example from Cambridge Dictionaries:

“Have a listen to this!”The word “listen,” by the way, has been used as a noun for centuries in expressions like “to be on the listen” or “to have a proper listen.”In fact, the earliest citation in the Oxford English Dictionary for “listen” as a noun dates from the 1300s. In an apparent reference to becoming deaf or hard of hearing, the writer wonders if someone “has losed the lysten.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2016/01/24/can-we-stop-saying-take-a-listen/

Bring Yer Own Goat

Where My Goat? 

Cred: Comedy Central Originals

 

So I’m standing in line at Kroger’s last night reading the tabloid headlines:

“Jennifer Lawrence gives birth to purple alien.”

”Perfectly preserved Elvis head found under back seat of ’57 Chevy in Dallas” (Why does this shit always happen in Texas?)

“Bill O’Reilly Comes Out” (Out of what? Stupidity?)

Just kiddin’ Bill. I love you man! Hahaha! (tongue firmly planted in cheek)

Anyhow, there is an elderly black gentleman in front of me, driving one of those grocery store golf carts. He has maybe five items in his basket. Still perusing the latest headlines, I hear the cashier say,

Bitch you crazy

It’s OK to say “Mother-Fucker” on my site. Tis rated “M”

“Eighty-one-fifty.”

“Eighty dollars?!” the man exclaims.

Now I look up.

“Yessir, eight-one-fifty.”

“Lan’ sakes chile. For what?”

“Well, you got them short ribs there… them was eighteen. Then you got that cough medicine, thas eight ninety-nine. Then you got that ‘luminum foil casserole dish, seven. Then you got them chips. Fo’ dollar. Then you got that gum there…. It all adds up.”

Black gentleman shakes grizzled head.

“Lawd ah mercy!”

“Yep. Y’all gonna be in big trouble onc’t y’all git home,” Cashier says. “Got a Kroger Loyalty Card?”

“Yessum, but far as I kin see, doan do no damn good.”

Now. I ask you: Since when do short ribs fetch nine dollar a pound? Since when does a nickel’s worth of aluminum foil shaped to look like a roasting pan cost seven bucks? Since when does a bag of potato chips cost four dollars? What has happened to my country?

Fuck it.

I’m moving back to Baghdad, where you can still purchase goat on the hoof for four bits a pound. (BYOB)

“Bring yer own bullets.”

No prob.

I love This Woman! Laura Ingraham: She Always Nails IT. (More Clown World!)

***************

The ANGLE

Start at time 16:30

********

FOREVER OPTIMISTIC!

Have We Lost Our Minds?
Or Is There Hope For America?
I Am The Eternal Cock-Eyed Optimist
So Let’s Sailor On!

Cock-Eyed Optimist!

********

Tom MacDonald – “Clown World”

Tom MacDonald – “Cancelled”

(IMHO This Man is a Genius)

****************

Popeye Lance

Patriot

“There’s No way That You Can Stop Me”

–Tom MacDonald

Wake The Fuck Up America! (Or Get Woke & Go Broke!)

Wake up! Wake Up! Wake Up!

Up Yer WAKE!

Up Yer WAKE!

Up Yer WAKE!

Cred to Spike Lee: Genius!

(And Of Course, Samuel L. Jackson)

***********

Content Cred: Liberal Hivemind

Hollywood Just Won’t Stop Trying!

Cred: Dice Man

https://www.youtube.com/c/markdice

***************

Tom Macdonald – “Dummies”

Salt Man!

Current Events Have Made Me Lose My Mind!

(I feel Ya Blanche!)

Insanity

Sucicide!

Relentless Sorrow

“I loved someone once”

***

For Those Too Young or Too Ignorant To Know:

“On the Waterfront”

****************

MY AMERICA AS I LOVE

And

‘Remember’

HER!

(Thank You Waylon)

***********

The People In California Were Nice To Me