Sexy Goddess Elizabeth: My Last Wife, Chapter Four, Wayward Bound

Actually in my last post, I kinda lied.

We were on the same plane but bound for two different destinations:
She to Missouri.
Me to Texas.

During the flight across the pond to America, I went back to the stewardess shack, and said,
“See that Nordic Blonde there in 27B?

She has agreed to marry me. Got any Champagne?”
They giggled.
“Sure. We’ll bring it to you.”

I returned to 27A and sat down beside my fiancé.
Presently Pleasant stew arrived with Moët & Chandon and poured two glasses.
Ela and I sucked those down.

After a spell I went back to the stewardess shack.
“Got any more Champagne“ I asked.
One stew just handed me the bottle.
Huge mistake on her part.

By the time wheels-down in New Jersey I was, shall we say, DRUNK.

We had a two hour layover.
I got drunker… during the wait.
And for some bizarre reason, we were to ride the same plane once again:
Me first to DFW, and then she to Springfield Missouri.

(I do not pretend to know how all this works)
Finally, as we were boarding the plane, I said something incredibly stupid,

“First thing I want is a beer!”

That was all it took.

They kicked me off the plane. Ela followed close behind.
When I protested they threatened me with Homeland Security.
We left.
With promises from the Airline that we could fly next day.
Provided I showed up sober.

I drunkenly promised I would, and then slinked away in shame… With Ela, who was horrified–

“I’ve never been kicked off a plane!” She said.

“Welcome to My World,” I said.

To Be Continued…

Hooray For Hollywood! Wish I Could… Still Give a Shit. But The Magic is Gone. Long Gone. So Long!

Credit: TOPPOP: Star sisters


Hey Film Buffs!
This (Below) is Required Watching!

Right On!

Spot On!

Dead On!

Thank YOU! Critical Drinker Man!

You Nailed My Same Same Sentiment!

Visit Crit Drinker Here Below:

The Genesis of all this Bullshit:


And No!
I also did NOT watch ‘The Oscars’ on My Tee-Vee Either.

I had Something Better to Do!

Like Picking The Lint Outta My Belly-Button.

(Which Was More Gratifying & Satisfying)


Golden Age
Lost Now–Magic Has Gone
Never Get It Back
That Ship Has Sailed
Missing Somewhere Over That Recent Rainbow…

Come On!

Get Happy!!


No Business Like Show Business….
Adding-dumb Dumb da Dumb

(I miss my Daddy; He loved Old Movies)




(Bring Your Own Dresses)

It’s Silly and Stupid

(But Rather Endearing) :


I love My Oh So Rich American Culture–I Ain’t Rich, but surely you know what I mean.

I love my excesses

Bring your own dresses


Am I gay?


No Way!

I don’t Play that way.

(I just Color outside the lines.)

Houston, We’re Screwed.

Pondering, Reflecting, Dissecting,

Thinking back (Yeah, I do that sometimes)

The thinking part

Whilst ‘Thinking’ …

I came upon the stark realization that I have been perpetually ‘online’ since 1990

First Step: Admitting You Have A Problem

(The Admittance Part is The Hardest Part—Guess That is Why it is First-On-The-List
Once You Get PAST That…
Rest is Gravy

Or Just Gravity

Street Cred for Vid: Luke Combs



A word to some wise:
“I’m not the Droid You’re Looking For

Not I

Not me!

Not ME!

Never me

Twenty-Eight Days & A ‘Wake Up’

How many people have I hurt?

How many lives have I dragged down into the muck and mire with mine?

How many loving wives and good women have I cast away?

Got a Super-Duper Calculator?

You’ll need it.

Life Imitating My ‘Art.’

Hits a little too close to My Home:

Street Cred For Vid: welovesandrabullock



Some say beauty is just skin deep
Most of the time, this is true
But not with Sandra
She is beauty
Through and through


My fervent wish is that I had not cast away all the good people who offered a shoulder for me to lean on…


Trust Me.

It Works.

Just Deploy A Little Imagination.

Credit: CCR


‘Siskel & Ebert’ (& Lance): Movie Impressions

A charmingly, delightfully, hysterically funny movie. And actually, quite Touching and Endearing.
(To me anyway)
Not gonna be everyone’s ‘cup of tea.’
But my teacup runneth over.

Three Thumbs Up!

Your mileage may vary.”

—Lance ‘Ekbert’

Maria Bakalova: My Latest ‘Crush’

(Yes. Lance is a Dirty Old Man–Sue Him–He’s Old, But He Ain’t Dead)


When the world outside is pure chaos, freshly minted Oscar nominee Maria Bakalova embraces the unknown.

Text Cred for above: Joey Nolfi

“I had no idea I was joining Borat,” she tells EW’s Awardist Podcast of her mysterious audition for the hit sequel, in which she was tasked to sing and dance and embrace the “craziness” inside of her. “It was a wild, blind casting date…. It was meant to be.”

–Maria Bakalova

Perfect, Apropos Song To Sum Up This Flick:


Bonus Track:

(Give this one a few seconds to get past the blank screen)

Cheers Y’all!

Babes, Info (Info-Babes)

(“Babes, Info: Plural. Colloquial.”)
—Lance Webster


I am not a fan of Babe Ruth (Or of His Candy Bar)

I am not a Fan of ‘Babes-In-Toy-Land’

I am not a Fan of Fukked – Up Word-DepressedCustomer-Service’ Babes

I am not a fan of ‘Babe The Pig

I am not a fan of Babe Actresses

I am not a fan of Babe Miss Americas

I am not a Fan of Me.


I am a Fan of ‘Info Babes’

We’ll Commence With My Personal Favorite: Fredricka!

(Yes. I have already spilled a lot of ink on/for her)


(And Now Move On (In No Particular Order)


Of Course Erin!

Dana Bash

(To Me, She Always Reminded Me of A Pet Ferret I Once Had, But Now I love Her–Go Figger!)

Megyn Kelly

No Words, except that she is brilliant.

And Beautiful



Lara Logan:

Bravest Woman On The Planet!

I greatly admire and Respect Her.
If you do not know who she is, watch the fukkin’ video below

(Lara works for Cable Broadcast News now, and they treat like a Red-Headed Step-Child.)

Fuck You Fox/CNN! et al.)


Diane Sawyer: CLASS!


Robin Meade:

So Drop-Dead Gorgeous: Makes My Hair Hurt


Jenna Lee:

Ditto Above



Ana Cabrera!
(I’d amputate one of my fingers and two of my toes just to spend one night with her.)


There Are So Many More…

But I am Fresh Outta Time:


Yeah, I An Under An Ethereal Spell:

(I have no choice.)

Must Be ‘Witchcraft’ :

Catch Y’all Laters!


Joni :

Trust Me: The Below Fits and Y’all Know I have to ALWAYS try to Drop in a bit of Joni.

(She Casts The BEST SPELLS)

Empty. Try Another’

Cheers Y’all!