They threw a lot of “Mental Health Professionals” at us in Denton. They all had some “Game.”

One of the more enjoyable “Games’ we played at UBH Denton was “Music Card Bingo.”

Sorta like “Name That Tune” For Broken PPL

As you can see, I did quite well.

It actually was FUN. We truly all did enjoy these ‘Sessions’, especially My Girl, “Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter.”

(I miss her so much. See link in the comment section)

Comment Section:

For My Missed Girl:

I’m just trying to make Y’all Laugh a little. Lord Knows We NEED it.

Return To Sender

(Video credit: ticktock70)

I ordered a new mind from Amazon dot com. (cost me some big bucks) But I think they delivered it to the wrong address.

Anybody seen it?

(It will be a very small package, marked ‘Fragile’ and Easily overlooked amongst all the bills and shit)

Will be the package with the addressee “Asshole” on it.

 Please return it to me. I really need it.


(Update: Made the beer/wine/Copenhagen Run.

Mission Accomplished!

No apparent casualties — except for my credit card balance.


Some bitch neighbor (not Timothy—who has not hit me up for a free beer in over a week—“Thank you, Tim”, by the way: I am NOT drinking for two), came pounding on my door.

“Why do you flush the toilet so much?”

Apparently she can hear that toilet flush through the wall and it disturbs her fucking concentration.

“I flush so much because I piss so much. Now fuck off and get outta my face before I am tempted to fucking choke you to death. But for your benefit, from now on I will piss in the fucking sink. Because I RESPECT MY FUCKING NEIGHBORS ”

She ran away.


Fucking Coward.

Pretty sure there will be repercussions for my rude behavior and I will be forced to pay for my sins.

Guess how many fucks I give.

Cowboys (And Cowgirls) And Muses

The astute will notice the “barefoot and pregnant” part of this vid. The not astute will not.

Not your fault. Our World is currently lacking in “astute.”

(Yeah. I am an asshole.)

Muse says (Yeah, She came home) says,

“Where have all the Cowboys gone?”

“There is one right here in front of you. Open your eyes.”

“I’ll go wash the dishes; you go have a beer.”

“There’s a good girl.”

Then she knocked the shit out of me.

“So glad you’re back.” I said, as I reached for a washcloth to stop the bleeding from my nose.

“Why did you hit me?”

“Because you’re an idiot!!

Could not argue that logic, nor that fact.

(Muse has a wicked right hook. Will endeavor in the future to not piss her off. )

(And no, I am not stupid enough to misunderstand the meaning and not-so-subtle nuance in this Paula Cole song)

And the irony that is my life.

I do love the song, however.

And I love my imaginary lover, My Beautiful Muse.

Imaginary lovers are the best kind:

Very low-maintenance.



Little related “added value:”

Abusive Lovely Muse–Chapter Two or More “musiness” found here: and here:

Dumb Blondes

LaSheeka hits me up on the handheld radio:

“Lance come to the lobby; we have a situation.”

“Okay. On my way.”

Got there. Discovered some young blonde damsel in distress, Sobbing.

“What’s the matter Girl?”  I asked.

(LaSheeka looked at me and rolled her eyes—yeah, I caught that look—she and I were mind melded—almost mentally joined at the hip.

Blonde says, “My boyfriend has abused me. He is drunk. I just want him to go away.”

“What room you in?” I asked


“Ok. Let’s go there.”

“Please don’t hurt him. And don’t call the police. I just want him to go away.”

“No worries Lil Lady.”

We arrived at the room.

I confronted Mister Asshole.

(Who was Half- Naked and Barefooted.)

“Hey  Dude! Guess what? You are out of here! Come with me!”

“Can I at least get my shit?”

“No! Come with me Asshole!”

He did and I threw him out.

Onto the Memphis Streets. At two o’clock in the morning.

Over his protestations.

Eventually he came wandering back into the lobby of Hotel Indigo.

I looked at LaSheeka and said,

“Call Memphis Finest before I kill this mother-fucker.”

She did.

Police showed up.

And sorted it all out.

Asshole and GF made up.

And went back to their room.

(Fucking women.)

Wasting my time.