No! No! NO! Lance! Don’t Do It! “Lance Looks in the Mirror” “Mirror Mirror On The Wall–Who’s The Biggest Asshole of all?” I’ll Allow You Three Guesses, But You’re Only Gonna Need One.

****

So I looked in the mirror…

First time in some years…

(Risky, Dangerous Enterprise? Yes?!)

Casually regards the visage staring back at him.

“Something’s missing,” he says.

Dons DEVO hat.

Yeah!

Hell yeah!

That’s the “Look!”

Cred: Dice-Man

********

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

Joe? Really?

I never watched the movie, “G.I. Jane”

(Because it was a farce and insulted the Navy SEAL program), but… come on Man!”

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

***********

(Maybe it is time for me to give ‘G.I. Jane’ a second chance. Cannot possibly be worse than the garbage coming down the pike these days.)

*******

I died along the way.

But at least I showed up.

Twice

*************

This post is in desperate need of some

‘Joni’

To talk me down off that ledge

I have found me Precariously placed on…

(or is it ‘upon’?)

Which is the ‘proper’ word?

Ask me how many fucks I give.

I write; therefore I Yam!

Just call me ‘Popeye-The-Sailor-Man!’

Vid Cred: jmms429

Song credit: Who do you think?

Help Me. Help Me–Joni Joni? Joni??

Must Re-Post Because I’m An Idiot. And a Sentimental Old Fool. “Leonard Cohen’s Muse–Suzanne Verdal, & Musing About Muses–Or, What You Will (“And you know that she’s half-crazy”–therein lies the attraction…)”

Suzanne Verdal:

Fascinatingly, Beautiful, Fantastic, Ethereal Woman.
And The Quintessential, Perfect Muse.
And this is gonna sound ‘messed up,’ but Suzanne reminds me of my Mother:
One of The ‘Original Hippy Chicks.’
(Link Also Awaiting Your Perusal at the End of this Post–‘Turtle Blues.’)

No ‘New’ Prose From Me Found Here Today.

Just some very-much-worth-watching videos

If you are a ‘writer,’ that is

Enjoy.

I Will Pen Some-New-Shit…

Presently

Soon

Probably

Maybe

Hopefully

****

If you have yet to read my “Abusive Muse” Series,

you may discover the link at the bottom of this post.

Cheers Y’all!

And WRITE ON!

***

Suzanne is….

So Wonderfully Charming.

So Charming.

So Charming.

So Charming.

Suzanne

Cohen’s Writing ‘Process.’

(I cannot Find the Original Poster of this Post to Credit—G’dammmnit)

As Promised Up Above:

My Mother–The Original Hippy Chick:

Original HIPPY CHICK

I LOVE You MOM!

HAHAHAHA!

(If you do not Appreciate My Sense of Twisted Humor, You Most-Likely took a wrong Turn at Albuquerque)

Twisted:

Video Credit:  ‘Joni Journey’

Just Thought I Should Re-Post This; Since I Seem To Have gone “Off The Rails.” Of Late. Faith–“First Do No Harm.”

Beautiful Lady
Such Class!

So Much Class!

One of These Days–Emmylou

Beauty Personified:

Religion.

Specifically: Southern Religion

More specifically: Texan Religion.

I am talking Methodists, Baptists, Church of Chist(ers)—the Entire Gamut of The Faithful.

I love all of Y’all.

No secret: “Lance is an Atheist.”

(This is well-documented.)

However, I do love AND RESPECT

All Folks of Faith.

I just do not roll that way.

(Ever Since I Learned to Read)

Cannot.

But I love the music.

And I love the morality

(I have that too— ‘morality’—I do not need Religion to have that)

I love the culture of Faith.

I never mean to demean anyone of Faith.

My fervent wish is to never offend.

I have too much respect for Folks of Faith.

Too much respect For Fellow Texans,

most of whom are Religious.

(I was going somewhere with this post)

Probably to Hell.

******

Post Script:

I have read ‘The Iliad’

And ‘The Odyssey’

And All The Norsemen—Thor–in particular.

I have read ‘Beowulf’

And The ‘King James Bible.’

All Great Mythology.

All Magnificent Literature.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I know what I’m talking about.

(“One of these days I’ll look back and I’ll say I left in time.”)

Sunday is Rapidly Approaching–Relentlessly Snipping at My Heels. Just Another Manic Sunday! I HATE Sundays!

Monkey Sez:

“Hey Asshole! You Keep F*cking wid me, we gonna take your Planet. Watch the F*ckin’ Movie. Talk to Chuck! He will dial you in Hot-Rod!”

***

I F*cking HATE Sundays

Why?

Reasons:

  1. Cannot buy booze
  2. No real ‘News’
  3. Nothing interesting ever happens on a Sunday
  4. I havta take a shower
  5. I have to put on “not white trash’ clothing
  6. I feel compelled to find a church to sit in bored to death
  7. I cannot speak freely–must ‘mend my speech’
  8. Yada Yada Yada Bullshit

Oh Susanna! Take Me Away!

***

Sunday Mournin’ Comin’ Downtown

Kris Classic Below; Don’t Be A Fool.

Clik It

Street Cred for Vid: biggestkkfan

***

Special Bonus Guest Star

George Carlin!

666

More Ref (Just for Balance)

Clik The Link

Israel: My Favorite Country (aside from TEXAS That Is.)

Silent Eyes–Paul Simon:

So Iran is pissed off at Israel.

Threatening Israel.

HEY IRAN! FUCK AROUND. FIND OUT!

Israel has the strongest, best military in the Mideast. They have the fiercest soldiers. They have the best technology. What you gonna do Iran? Throw camel shit against nukes?

Good fucking luck with that.

As anyone who knows me, knows

I lived

in that region for three years. I had a flat in Tel Aviv. I KNOW these people.

FUCK WITH THEM AT YOUR DESERVED PERIL

They don’t fuck around.

They don’t play.

Watch your Khomeini Ass

Please re-Read, Re-Listen–Especially The Lenny Bits–A Tuesday Throwback… or, if you will: “Why Ruby Did It?”*

(My legs have stopped workin’–I cannot walk), but I can still crawl–To my bed–Night- Night

*Of course if you want the answer to that burning behind the Grassy Knoll Question, you will have to listen to Lenny. (Listen below after you wade through some serious Lance Horseshit)

Or, I suppose you could just ask Lance, as his erstwhile step-mom worked for Jack (Ruby)

And if you, any of you, breath, yeah breath. A word to my also erstwhile step-sister… well, that breath, will be your last…

Sad Update: Madelyn

(And, as always, Everything I just typo’d, said, thought… well, it’s bullshit. I was born, rear’d an’ raised in California. Northern California. I have never even seen Texas. Just read about it all.)

In books.

And some old  pirate maps.

Galveston maps

*****

Just funnin’… I am only Half-Crazy.

Just to make up for all those “Thursday Throwbacks” I missed cashing in on during my recent ‘sabbatical’.

Yeah, I always considered ‘Throwback Thursdays’ something of a ‘gift.’ I mean, if I had nothing to write I could always dig down into those old archives, et voila! There ya go!

(In Some Truth: I just wanted to put up some Lenny Bruce–for Old Time’s Sake.)

And it kind of goes along with that Brother Dave Post from a day or two ago. (See? There is some continuity to my mind)

Believe that? Really? Wanna buy a bridge? Cheap?

************

I generally spend about ten minutes ‘writing a post’. Then three minutes waiting on ‘spell check’ to remind me that I cannot spell ‘cat.’ Then two minutes (except for the upload wait) to upload photos/videos. One minute at the ‘final’ look. Then: Click that ‘publish’ button. And Pray.

Done.

Rinse and repeat the next day. This bothers me. Why? Because, as all of us (may) feel, we can write so much better.

Alas, I am lazy. I just want to get it out there… Catch the likes; catch the comments. Fuck the quality! “They” know what I mean… Don’t they? I mean, they read me! Not too much need for exposition, ya? ‘They git it, eh?’

Just some musings from an amusing wanna-be writer/blogger. Take with some grain of salt. (And Comment), if you are of a mind to, and have an opinion on the ‘writing/blogging’ process.

Cheers, Lancers

“I have never had an original thought; I don’t live in a vacuum.”

–Lenny Bruce

And if this ain’t poignant for today… Well then. I do not know what is, or could be ‘is.’

Take a listen: All Policemans in NYC might even appreciate. (If they can read, that is)

And I wanna be Your Lenny…

Right here on TT&H

There is a vid credit, but I lost it. His lawyers will surely contact mine…

**************

Moving on…

Now, this is some strange form of bullshit.

I actually shook  his hand.

download

In San’ Dog, California.

He weren’t  none of that.

He was some, but not all.

But he was a great man.

He was just a man with a plan.

I loved him for that.

Just like I love(d) Woody

And his son….

And I respect.