It Appears Quite Within The Realm of Possibility That I Could Have Been (Oh Horror) Mistaken All-My-Life.

I May Have Found Religion. Or It Found Me. Or We Found Each Other. –Can’t Say ‘Re-Born’–

Because I Wasn’t Born:

I Was Squeezed Out Of A Bar Rag

*Heavy Sigh*

Seems The Ironic Joke Is On Me

Perhaps There Actually Is-A-God?

At This Point, I Am Ready To Believe In Just About ANYTHING

Lord Knows I’ve Been Wrong About Shit

Once or Twice Before

****

Ian Prowse sings:

‘Maybe There Is A God After All’

Cred For Vid: Liverpool Philharmonic

***

I Am Certainly Feeling Quite BLESS’D

Right About Now.

So Maybe

Just Maybe

Or Maybe… I am Just Lucky

Please Allow Me To Explain:

I Ran Outta Booze Days Ago

Not Really a Big Hairy Deal

(Just As Long as DT Man Stayed Away–He Did–Thank Baby Hey Zeus)

But I Had

ALSO

Run-Out-OF-Copenhagen!

Smokin’

(Empty, Try Another)

Credit: The Lovely Joni Mitchell

*****

This Was Bad Beyond BAD For Your Humble Author

I will have No Money Until The 10th of Never (SS Check June)

Copenhagen Cost Seven Bucks & Change Theses Days.

And Ninety Percent Of That Is State Tax!

Fu*k Me!

Anyway, I had been drinking Lots of Coffee–trying to Keep My Sanity Intact and Tryin’ to keep My ‘Snuff Jones’ at Bay.

Running Low On Coffee, I remembered My Savannah GF had sent me a case of Instant Hot Chocolate.

So I went rummaging about in My ‘Chocolate Box’

***

And Lo & Behold!

FOUND THREE CANS O’ COPENHAGEN

Residin’ Within!

Which I had apparently knocked into during an earlier inebriated state of Physical State and Forgotten All About.

Go Figger

Went Immediately Into MY HAPPY DANCE!

Pharrell Williams – Happy 

JUDY GARLAND AND BARBRA STREISAND –

Happy Days Are Here Again

Cred For Vid Share: George John

*****

Copenhagen & Copenhagen Angel Live Ned Ledoux:

Cred For Share: Ryan Horacek

***

First words out of my mouth–Spoken aloud in Fact–almost shouted:

“Hallelujah! Thank You GOD! Thank You JESUS!”

Oh Happy Day

Sister Act 2 

I Reiterate:

Maybe There Is-A-God

This Changes EVERYTHING In-My-World-View!

****

I am A Simple Man:

Simple Wants, Simple Desires, Simple Dreams, Simple Addictions, Simple Character Flaws.

Simple

And Yes! I Am A Sinner

Just Ask My Maternal Grandmother.

Bitch Was Always Tryin’ To Shove A Bible Up-My-Ass

You’ll Need A Ouija Board–Bitch Done Been Dead

****

Hint: She’s The One On The Right,

er…

Left

***

I am so sick of Lance! He is Beginning To Bore Me. Je Sweee Malad et Fatigue’d, Or… Pass The Biscuits & Ammunition. I Do Grow Weary of my Endeavors to Edit This: Screw It!–Allow It To Stand Alone As Original Writ

***

Twisted Sister –

We’re Not Gonna Fake it

Anymore 

***

, BUT nEVER CAN GET FUCKIN’ LAID! & FUCKIN’ FATIG yEAH!’D=odd dam (Dat’s French! Y’all! I am so fukkin’ sick of LANCE! sOMEONE SHOOT this FUCKER! rIGHT bETEEN THE FUK-in’ EYES! IN THE FUKKIN G EYEE!

so Pissed off at that God! You know the one! THAT ONE WHO NEVER EXISTED! HE SOLD ME A BILL GOODS! hIS ASS was writing writing was writing Checks He Was Never Gonna CASh!

What as ASS! hOLE! What’s It All About?

THIS HAS TURNED INTO A RANT! DO NOT READ IT! It is Insulting, Disrespectful,

And It WILL PISS YOU OFF! wILL sEVeREallLY PISS YOU ofF! I really wante to FUCKING BELIEVE! BUT I LEAR’ND TO READ! MY HUGE FUKKIN’ MONU-MENTAL FUCK-UP!!!!! Fuk this! My mental mind is BLOWN!!! AWAY! (i may be havin’ some “issues”)—insanity ones! And I cannot spel nor typy fer caca!

i should learn how to

MEND MY FUCKIN’ SPEECH A BIT!

naw!

FUK THAT! tHAT would BORE y’all! My Largess fukking FEAR is to become “borin’ & Dict-able!— Pre-Dict- Un-able! to wRITE THE true Shit Surfaces in my FUKKING BRAIN

 

 

What’s it all about?

I am Atheist,

Capital A

Have Been

Ever Since I 

Learned To Read

This will never change.

Everyone knows this.

I am Not

Militant About it!

But Some

“Hyper Christians Keep Trying to “Save” Me!

Save Me From What?

Yes, I have Theist Friends.

I live in a State Flush With Theists!

I RESPECT THEM!

They Need to RESPECT ME!

(Is This Not What They Are Supposed to DO?)

Faith

What’s it all about?
Alfie?

I really wanna know.

cRED! here:

Catherine Mamontova

569 subscribers

happy NoW Markie??? You supercilly-ous prima-donna,

wanna-be Donna

ASSHOLE! gO Fuck yerself! Use This With My Blessing! You’re Welcome! Don’t EVEN MENTION IT!

i Can AdMit When I’m WroNg. evEn When I Don’t KnOw WHen I’ve BeEn wRonG

OH! Here is THE FUCKING LINK!

(tHAT Satisfy, sate you? Mark? Asshole)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48oLsDImC5A

BITCH!

FAKE BITCH!

HITCH PUTS IT BEST!

If You Be Not Afraid & Not Scared!

And Have a Fukkin’ Brain,

Watch THIS!

GODDAMN IT!!!

WORDPRESS!

THE TOTAL TONNAGE

OF

YOUR STUPIDITY

COULD / AND WOULD

SINK

THE

MIGHTY

FUCKING

BISMARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll get to the MOTHER-FUCKIN’ Credits LATER!

i AM IN pissed off mode RIGHT NOW

AND i HAVE

ZORO

000000

ZRRO ZORRO

NO

Fucks

Worth

Givin’ a single fuck

ABOUT!

AND Y’ALL KNOW I DO

NOT

LOVE ME

WHEN

I FIND ME

HERE!

GODDAMN YOU GOd!

DO SOMETHING!

INSTALL

UPLOAD

DOWNLOAD

A NEW

FUKCIN’

ALGORY-RHYTM!

I’M TIRED OF YOUR

SAME OLD

FUKKIN’

SONG

SO WRONG!

SO FUCKIN’

LONG

HAVE A

CHAT

WITH

YER

BRAT!

WHAT WAS

HIS

FUCKIN’ NAME A=GIN?

hEY-ZEUS?

FUCK YOU GOD

GET

OUTTA MY HEAD!

YOU ARE NOT

WELCOME

FUCKIN’

HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just Fer Fun–Re-Run UPDATED! FREEDOM OF SPEECH! ADDED LOTS OF CHICKS! This Post is a Little Wonky BeCuz… By They Way: I Love Love Nat’s Eye Mak-Up… And Her ‘Attitude”

Guess What? Fu*cK’d-UP WordPress! I DID try! Re-DAS-Boot “And Lenny (and Christopher) Lives (again) Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid (sic)” I did Manage to Add Some NEW Shit to this One Though WP was

Kickin’ and Screaming’!

(Be Afraid–Be Very Afraid)

Below please find today’s bit:

(May be offensive to people of faith)

(If you are religious, you may have swerved into the wrong page.)

Even that statement is wrong. It presupposes that religious folk do not have a sense of humor, or that they are intolerant of not-religious folk. I know of only one religion which is totally intolerant and not open to sense of humor. I don’t need to name it, but we all know its name (Shhh…. Don’t tell. But it starts with an M and ends with an ‘um’.   Yeah! You guessed it: Methodist-um”

(Now I know, I have been uncharacteristically silent on the ISIS CRISIS in specific and ‘Religion Poisons Ever’Thing’ in General. I am ‘back-building’, much like that volcano in Iceland. What you may experience here, today, is just a fissure, impotently  spewing. ‘Fissuring’, if you will. Don’t worry: The Big Bang is coming folks and it ain’t gonna be nothin’ nice.)

Shhhhh…. don’t tell. Keep yer head, and yer wits, and yer tits, and yer clits about you.

So… Don’t speak. Bad for your health: ‘Speaking.’

Listen / Watch Here Below: And Christopher’s last line (in case you missed it)

“Stay cool.” 

So ‘be cool’ and watch it, for it is timely, given our present present.

Video Credit:

therealtalkpolitics

The Lenny Bit (Religion Inc) Listen if You Please:

Oral_Sucker_Born

Oral Roberts

Billy_Time_Mag

JohnXXIII

Pope John XXIII

lifecover_spellman

More Lenny Here:

http://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

Thanks For Listening

And just for fun:

And as a completely different aside: I got some very good advice from a very, well not very, not even a very good friend, let us just call her ‘an acquaintance’:

She chastised me.

Why?

Because I employ too many parentheses…. “Makes me hard to read.’  She said. ‘Madman,’ She said. Truth, she spoke.

Now that!

That!

That is good advice!

Thank you, Nameless Person.

LONG TIME GONE!

FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

TRUTH #2

GIRL POWER

SOUTHERN GIRL POWER!

NEVER MAKE ‘NICE’

NICE IS BORING!

WIDE OPEN PLACES

I Have a Very Complicated Personal–Historical Relationship With Religion–Needless to Say–

This Shall Be A WIP. I was Once a Christian in My Youth–Then I Grew Up. And Learned to Read. I Have Been to The ‘Holy’ Land! Have You?

R.E.M. – Losing My Religion

“That Was Just a Dream”

Then I Woke Up.

Cred for Vid Share: remhq

Give Me Some Time.

“You Are Not Me”

Just Shoot Me! In the Head–Twice! “Just in Time for Easter (OK It’s Late–Sue or Screw me… Only if you are a red-headed female, that is. I mean the screwing part. The suing part? Have at it. Good luck)”

Someone once asked me,
“Lance, when did you become an Atheist?”
I replied,
“When I learned to read.”
Actually I think even before that.
It is genetic
From my Father
Only Useful Thing He Ever Gave Me.
And it Did Not Cost Him One Dime.
But, Thanks Dad.
And Before You Get All Bent Out of Shape:
Read My Views on People of

Faith

HITCH SLAP!

RUN TELL THAT!!

BADA BING

BOOM!

Some Bonus ‘Added Value’:

JONI!

Joni is a super-dishious super cillious, SELF-sERVING

CUNT

i LOVE HER

Butt…

sHE HAS NEVER bEEN to Ethiopia

I haVe

Been There

Thr’wice


Video Credit: Leeshan

Poignant

***

(And if you don’t know who’s song this is, you must be new here)

*****

For Those Planning An Easter Egg Hunt Today

Ponder The Clip Below

(LOL)

Credit: Sam O’Nella Academy

Happy Easter
Y’all

UPDATED! FREEDOM OF SPEECH! ADDED LOTS OF CHICKS! This Post is a Little Wonky BeCuz… Guess What? Fu*cK’d-UP WordPress! I DID try! Re-DAS-Boot “And Lenny (and Christopher) Lives (again) Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid (sic)” I did Manage to Add Some NEW Shit to this One Though WP was Kickin’ and Screamin’!

Below please find today’s bit:

(May be offensive to people of faith)

(If you are religious, you may have swerved into the wrong page.)

Even that statement is wrong. It presupposes that religious folk do not have a sense of humor, or that they are intolerant of not-religious folk. I know of only one religion which is totally intolerant and not open to sense of humor. I don’t need to name it, but we all know its name (Shhh…. Don’t tell. But it starts with an M and ends with an ‘um’.   Yeah! You guessed it: Methodist-um”

(Now I know, I have been uncharacteristically silent on the ISIS CRISIS in specific and ‘Religion Poisons Ever’Thing’ in General. I am ‘back-building’, much like that volcano in Iceland. What you may experience here, today, is just a fissure, impotently  spewing. ‘Fissuring’, if you will. Don’t worry: The Big Bang is coming folks and it ain’t gonna be nothin’ nice.)

Shhhhh…. don’t tell. Keep yer head, and yer wits, and yer tits, and yer clits about you.

So… Don’t speak. Bad for your health: ‘Speaking.’

Listen / Watch Here Below: And Christopher’s last line (in case you missed it)

“Stay cool.” 

So ‘be cool’ and watch it, for it is timely, given our present present.

Video Credit:

therealtalkpolitics

The Lenny Bit (Religion Inc) Listen if You Please:

Oral_Sucker_Born

Oral Roberts

Billy_Time_Mag

JohnXXIII

Pope John XXIII

lifecover_spellman

More Lenny Here:

http://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/

Thanks For Listening

And just for fun:

And as a completely different aside: I got some very good advice from a very, well not very, not even a very good friend, let us just call her ‘an acquaintance’:

She chastised me.

Why?

Because I employ too many parentheses…. “Makes me hard to read.’  She said. ‘Madman,’ She said. Truth, she spoke.

Now that!

That!

That is good advice!

Thank you, Nameless Person.

LONG TIME GONE!

FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

TRUTH #2

GIRL POWER

SOUTHERN GIRL POWER!

NEVER MAKE ‘NICE’

NICE IS BORING!

WIDE OPEN PLACES