Am I “Pre-Propose’d” I Suppose… To Eat Up All This Trite Shite? This ‘Healthy Shite?’ This Tripe? Or, As We Used To Say In My Nav: “As Long As It Makes A Turd.”

I Don’t Think So. I Just Wanna Enjoy My Life.

As Much As Of It That Remains Anyhow

Ed. Note:

I ‘Added’ A Lot of Shite To This Post–

Fun Fac: Liza’s Mom Was Judy–

But I Do NOT Wish To Insult Your Intelligence–

Y’all Already Know This!

Mostly Minnelli.

Survey Sez:

“Check It Out”


Lisa With A “Z”


I Will Fuk U UP!

If You Ever Do

“Come Hear The Music Play”

I am gonna lie down Now

I Think I Have Hard-Nailed My Point

Poss’d of All of all the Painful Sins


But My Mommy Had More Ambitions For Me.

“A Dime in Time Saves… Uh… Lemme Guess…

Ten Cents?”

Coin Flip Lands on Side/Edge

Cred: Creezy

I’m Shittin’ On A Rainbow”

Fred Sanford: Forever Cock-Eyed Optimist.

As Am I!



Johnny Mercer –

Accentuate The Positive:


What Are the Odds?


“A Dime Only Lands On it’s Edge–

Once in a Life-Time–“

I Just made that up!

Good For Me!

You’re Kidding Me Right?

Bring Me A Slice Of Pizza!

Triple Cheese!

Double Cholesterol & Be Damn Quick About It!

I Don’t Have Much Time.

Cred For Vid: Bobfunk96


I Have But One Life’s Coin To Spend

I Plan To Spend It Wisely

Pizza Russian Roulette:

Screw It!

Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off!

(I Know I Keep Droppin’ This One In–But I LOVE It!)

So There!


I love her hat—Just





The Bugs/Roaches Are Runnin’ Rampant In My


And I Cannot Find My Bug-Spray

I Don’t Care!

Why Cannot We All Just Live Together?

Cred: Sade


So I’m Patiently Waitin’ For My ‘Edit’ to Post–

Gonna Take Some Years and Not Just A Few Beers

Fuk U WP!

Ha Ha Ha! Bet Y’all Never Seen This One Comin’ (I certainly didn’t)

And in truth: I never did either.,

I guess I wrote it back in some day.

And he went to England; played the piano, married an actress maimed “Kim:”…  She was a good wife… I loved her.

This is a continuation, albeit a flashback, to my story of Janet and Random Memories from The Middle East.

Months before the events inked here, here, here, and here, I found myself in Paris (actually two Paris’s—One Texan—One French). Confus’d yet? Stand by: it grows worse(r)

Let’s back up a mite (mites are hard to back up by the way, militarily that is: damn small and damn slippery, them mites… and they tend to mite-bite one, usually on one’s ass)

We call that “Green on Blue” and if you are following the recent news cycle, you will surely know that, that is inappropriate. But that is just how I roll. Fuck Afghanistan and their pretended bullshit “We gonna take over security of our country…” Won’t happen. But after ten plus years there (and some several months there by me, after Iraq–got ‘liberated’–now there is yet another joke, I can speak to the idiocy that is ‘our’ foreign fallacy.

I was in Sinai, 1978 (if memory serves), and I received a letter from my step-sis. This was not unusual back in those days, as we were still ‘speaking’. She sent me a rather long and boring letter regarding Honey Grove and all the ‘Happenings’ thereabouts. The letter was indeed ‘boring’ until I got to her ‘PS’. It read and I quote (loosely), “By the way, R is marrying J. Jesus-Beezus!”

This was, to me, devastation by way of bad, unspeakable news!

‘How could she?! She was MINE. Mine to mine and to have and to hold… just as soon as I finished with my wanderlust. How dare she?!” How DARE she?!

What to do?

Well, I had some R&R time ‘on the books’ so I hopped on a freighter (airplane), and flew back to Texas, ostensibly to break up the marriage, just like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. Problem was, was that I screwed up the dates and the logistics, and arrived not in time to bust up the wedding, but just in time to see the happy couple speeding off fast to Waco and their honeymoon…


Never having been more depressed at missing a rendezvous, what to do? Rebound Son! Rebound!

So, I sought out Janet. Let’s call it a ‘bank shot rebound.’ I knew she was working at the Hopkins Lamar (See? To this day, I never know which county I am in)  County Courthouse as a probation officer, so I timed (this time, my timing was spot on) my entrance during her lunch break: Intercepted her coming down the stairs of the courthouse.

“Hey Janet!”


“C’est moi! How’s Trix?”

“You are supposed to be in Egypt,” she said.

“I escaped,” I said. “Wanna have lunch?”

“Uh… Sure. Why not?” (Why not indeed)

We went to lunch. Then she took the rest of the day. We went to her apartment and drank gin. Later that eve, after I had regaled her with fantastical tales of the Middle of the East, she took a drag from her Virginia Slim and asked, “So are you gonna fuck me tonight, or what?”

I said, “No Ma’am; I am gonna make love to you—something I should have done five years ago.”

So we did—I did—make love to her.

The problem now became that I had a plane to catch to that other Paris: that one in France. The other part of the problem was that my plane was waiting in Houston. I was about five hours at seventy miles per hour away from my Air France plane at Houston Intercontinental. I had to go. Now.

I hit the road to Houston, not really wanting to go, but I had promised my buddy, Bart, Black Bart, that I would meet him in Paris on such and such a day. Naturally, I ended up missing my flight and arrived Paree a day late. On the taxi ride from Charles de Gaulle airport, we drove under a bridge and the taxi car lost its windshield to a lone rifle shot. (my theory) “Terrorist?” I asked the cabby? (en français).

“Merde!” Was all he said, as he dodged the flying glass. (true story). I did not care anyhow, but this rather happenstance occurrence did not bode well for my first day in Gay Paree…

“There’s my hotel!” I exclaimed as he had managed to (somehow) keep driving.

I paid him off, got out of his now mangled, windshield-less cab and made my way into the cheap hotel lobby. Went up to my room, dropped my shit; then went looking for my buddy. Found him at last sitting on his rack, rather sullen in mood. I checked out his room. It had a wonderful view of the Eiffel Tower.

“So Bart,” I asked finally, “What have you done here in The City of Light for twenty-four hours?”

“You see that tower there?” he asked, pointing to the window.

“Yep,” I said. “That would be the Eiffel Tower.”

“Well, since you didn’t show, I went out on my own… and hey! Ya know, they don’t speak English here? I went out on my own. (You mentioned that) Walked over to that tower, looked up at it—kicked it—and said to myself, ‘Yep. That there Bartamus, that there is the Eiffel Tower. Then I came back here and took a nap. And would you please tell that France Maid that I do not want no fuckin’ breakfast? She wakes me up in the fucking morning with her biscuits (‘croissants’ Asshole) and lousy coffee.”

“Sure Bart,” I said. “I will post a note, en français on yer door.”

“You speak France?”


“Well Hot Damn then! You be Bogey. I’ll be Bacall.” (of course)

“I weren’t able to bust up the wedding.”


“The Wedding.”

“Oh you mean between R and J?”

“Yep. That one, you moron.”

“Yer better off,” he said.

“OK. Then why am I so depressed?”

“Dunno. Did you have any other adventures while you were back In-The-World?”

“Matter of fact, I did. I hooked up with Janet.”


“Nope. No bullshit. Why I missed my flight, in fact.”

“Well, I was just about pissed off at you, but now I unnerstand.”

“Thanks for that,” I said.

“Hey!” he said. “Let’s smoke a bowl and you can tell me all about it while we go and kick this town in the ass.”

“Light her up,” I said. We smoked and drank and then off we went stoned and semi-drunk and in Paris (France) Just two more ugly Americans (Texans)

Now Y’all…

I hesitated while choosing the vid to represent this post. Then I swerved onto this one below. It is somewhat depressing, yeah. But, but… This is how I see my life ending up. I hope you will take the time to watch, listen, and comment.

Vid Credit: 




To Be Continued… Hopefully.

“Losing his hearing, but he don’t care what most people say.”

“Lately I been thinkin’ I just might quit drinkin’…

“I feel like Hank Williams tonight”

JJ Walker

tex flag

Real Good. Really Good. Really, Really Good For Free (And For Free) Oh! And By-The-Way: I Cannot ‘Edit’ Nor Write For Shite. But Then, Y’all Already Know This

Been Watchin’ This vid…

Over and Over AGAIN.

OF LATE. WHY? Because I Am Certifiable NUTS–That is Why! Oh, And Because I am A Hopeless Romantic–With-An Ever-Feeling, Bleeding Heart. Yet, I Still Always Vote Republican! “Walking Contradiction?” Oui! C’est Moi!


“Nobody stopped to hear himThough he played so sweet and highThey knew he had neverBeen on their t.v.So they passed his music byI meant to go over and ask for a songMaybe put on a harmony…I heard his refrainAs the signal changedHe was playing real good, for free”


over and over and over past few days.

Why? I suppose it’s because I have discovered the HBO gig: Treme.

New Orleans!

It’s mostly about music, street music and street musicians. And I love it. Highly reccomend it. Also recommend Spike Lee’s documentary on NOLA and Katrina: When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts 

Joni’s performance of “For Free” has always moved me, but now it has more meaning and I finally ‘get it’.

Take a look.

–Lancers: A Real Good Blog (For Free)

Tell all yer friends, y’all.

Sea (Somewhat of a Stream of Almost Consciousness)

The scariest thing to me…

Was at sea.

In the Indian Ocean, late one night

(That “IO” That Ho!)

Late at Night.

And the ship was tight.

And the waves were big.

Real big.

IO, She was angry.

And I was scared.

(No! HE Was scared).

I was never scared!

I was drinking coffee… And in between, walking on the bulkheads—all you sailors out there—can relate, and compare…

Never scared, but aside from my ‘coffee mates,” I knew, did, had done… the same drill… Too many times. (Fuckin’ Black-Shoe Navy!)

And if any of y’all find any of my  ‘Sea Stories” unbelievable…The preamble to any good sea story is “This is a no-shitter…”

And then there was Melville…I’ve been around the world and  once saw two white whales fuck.. I did. And there were dolphins… standing by… giggling.

 I have been to Australia.


And it follows, I have been to sea before:

And here, (for you purists) is the original, stolen from “Hejira”:

My Thanks to

“I’m just a simple soldier Son.

“With one more Year to Go.””

Expanded! Inebriated! Fucked With! Edited To Death! With! “FUK IS WRONG With ME??? “From Where I Stand, Sun Is Shining All-Over-The-Place”

Another Re-Spam: A Re-Rant, If Yu Will. Will? Where the Fuk? Are You??. Why am I So Angry of Late?? What is WRONG With Me? Can There Ever Be Anything RIGHT With Me? Other Than My Politics?— “Here Comes a Rant: Stand By For Heavy Rolls As The Ship, er… Shit Comes About”

Janet (My First) And I Used to Lament and Vent… And Cuss On “The Eighties’,

Even While ‘Living’ In Them

What Were We DRINKING?


Paula is…


And Awesome!

This Video is Charming Beyond Charming

Vid Share Cred: Paula Abdul (DuH)


Vid Share Cred: lbarnard86

The Sinai Desert Wrecked ME!

Ruined me!

Fucked Me!


Eyes Wide / Wild Fuckin’ Open! Shut!

I love The Inter-Text!

Fuk This!

I’ve been to Baghdad

Fuck U

And I claimed to hate The Eighties.

I lied.

To myself.

Beautiful Jennifer and Patrick Sleazy

Yeah! I know Jennifer Was a Bitch-on-Wheels to Work With

Precisely why I LOVE Her


Found Out It Was A Pain-In-The-Ass


Debbie Harry!

“Soon Found Out, I Was Losin’ My Mind”

(Yup. I changed the Title. It’s My Blog After All,  Ain’t It?)

The Eighties SUCKED Music-Wise

(And Other-Wise)

Wow! What a Bold Statement!

“Yes, and I stand by it.”

Now… Y’all, fess up! The Eighties were devoid of decent music, save a few, (Damn few) exceptions.

Hey! We are talking ‘bout the decade of want here! The Decade of “We want shoes! Therefore we am!” Ya know what? Fuck The Eighties! I was still a young man during them yet, even I, even I… scratched my head and pondered The End of Western Civilization.


(But Damn! How I did love Madonna!)

I served my country during The Eighties.

I loved Reagan during The Eighties.

I grew prematurely old during the Eighties.

What the hell was there not to love?

About The Eighties?


For Starters,

The Eighties were not The Sixties, nor The Seventies.

The Eighties Had NO Moral Compass.

The Eighties had NO WAR to protest.

The Eighties had Nothing, save for ‘Michael Jackson’ and ‘Rambo’ and such jokes make not a decade to be proud of.

OK: Bet Yer Boots

There is more to come.

And Comments along the way: Encouraged

This Post Will Be Heavily slightly  Not Edited, but you will see all the edits (of which there will be none), as per my wont, and my promise in a  previous post. (Yeah: work in progress…)

Stay Tuned


(Then again, I may probably won’t just delete this and move on)

So read fast; leisurely if you’re of a mind to…

And, if you have come this far:

I actually want  really desire this to be a ‘community post’. Now, what I mean by that is this: Throw in your comments/musings/rants/raves/loves/hates about The Eighties. I will mesh them into the post. (with credits to authors) This could be fun (if we allow it)

(And if y’all believe that shit, I have a bridge for sale–just kidding–I swear! I will fold any comments into the post)

Come on now! You know you have an opinion!



Cheers and Beers!


The eighties? what were we thinking????

I fail at Words!

To properly “Express My-Self”


For Madonna!

WP Will Not Allow Me! To Put It In Then


Where it should go!

Fuck YOU WP!

Where did I go Wrong?

I woke up!

Some Day, One Day, Perhaps On A Sunday, I Will Get Over My Infatuation With Linda Ronstadt. But Not Today. Okay? “When You Bend It, You Can’t Mend It” Speaking Loosely About My Heart, BTW.

I Love Linda So Much! I Need to Shut The F^ck Up. I Never Loved Linda For Her Body; I Love Her For So Many Other More Substantial Things. Okay?


I Love Linda. She is SO Un-pretentious!

She Melts My Heart

Just Like a Wheel

A Broken, Melted One

Respectful Tribute to Linda

Hopefully Well Done!


Watch This One Immediately Below

It Will Bring a Tear to You Eye

Linda is All Class

Watch Her Reactions

And All The Sycophantic Faggots in the Audience!

Did I Actually Write That? Yep. I Did.

And I Stand By It!–My

“Hurts-So-Bad Statement!

“Hurts So Bad”

Linda, you know I am gonna love you.

For a long





Forever – Time

Right until I crash my dime!


The Absolute Best Drum In The History of Different Ones

Funny Thing: First time I Heard this Song, I Was Living in Fremont, CA. I think I was 9 or 10 or 11 or 12 and change, Don’t Matter None.. I did not know, how could I have known? had no way to know, how much Linda would shape my future world….

Linda from day one, always wore them Gawd-Awful Hoop Ear Rings, Why?


Most Likely


It works for me!

And For Her Too I suppose–I Mean, I am writing about them earrings, ain’t I?


Silver Threads Holding Me Together

Linda, I have always Adored YouL

Linda , All of Yer Music is warmed over shit,

But I do love shit.warm”d over

“Faithless Love”

Lay Down Next To Me

Just for a Moment

Then My Life Will be Complete

And I can die in happiness and peace

With your memory as my last memory of happy

I’m getting too emotional over this.

I need to stop.

But, I’ll continue



Right Sentiment

Wrong Linda

But thank you Paul

All Lindas are Awesome(Except for the Ones What Broke My Heart)

(In my personal life experiences anyhow)

“La La La La Lovely Linda”



And Mandys are dandy too!