Dear Mister Kim

Dear Mister Kim
I’m at it again
Love you to pieces
You sack of raw feces

You think you’re King Kong
‘Cause you’ve got The Bomb
But remember Kong’s Fate
He fell from Emp’ State

Shot down from a ‘bye’-plane
Not even an eye strain
We shot his dumb ass
Took only one pass

And Rat-a-tat-tat
Then he went splat
In flames he did tumble

No King of the Jungle

Your last act’s the same
We’re tired of your game
So here’s our fair warning
You will be in mourning

For loss of your State
And we’ll think that’s great
Goodbye North Korea
And that’s panacea

Our simple solution
To speed execution
No biplane comes knocking
Yet something more shocking

Is heading your way
You will rue the day
My rhyme’s now concluded
But don’t be deluded

The ending draws nigh
So say your goodbye
Your death’s coming soon

Mister Jong Un

SHITTY PITY PARTY

Lance walks into his ‘physic’ therapist’s office and slumps down…

“Hello” too effusive psychotherapist says. “And how are WE today?”
“Shitty,” I answer.
“Oh no!!” he says. “We can never feel ‘shitty’, as you say. WE are always ‘happy’.”
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Mister Marcom. WE do not talk this Way.”
“Fuck you Doc, I talk this way AND I am paying you so I CAN talk this way.”
“OK, why then are you “shitty” as you call it?”
Leaning back… wondering how long this court – ordered bullshit must go on, I decide to hit him with it:
“I am shitty ‘cause I have written some good shit on my blog and no one is reading it.”
“Please do go on.”
“Well… there is that one about Southpark
“You mean J.R.’s ranch?”
“Do you have a degree, Doc?”
“Of course, right over there on the wall, see it?”
“What’s it in, your degree?”
“Phycology.”
“Yeah, guess that makes some sense; knew it wasn’t in Pop Culture, Pops.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Never mind.”
“Let us get back to your problem and away from my credentials, shall we? No one reads your ‘shit’, but why?”
“‘t-l-d-r’ in the vernacular.”
“Tee el dee r’? I’m afraid I do not understand your meaning here.”
“’Too Long; Didn’t Read’ Asshole.”
“Mister Marcom, I must implore you not to continue to abuse me with such language; I am merely attempting to help you here. Why is it too long? Do you hate your mother?”
“Well, it took days and days to write… And who ARE you? Do you even know what it is ‘to write’?”
“Let us focus on ‘your problem.’ shall we?”
“Doc, let us focus on yours: I don’t want to be here and THAT is YOUR problem. I just want folks to read my shit.”
“I cannot help you there, Son. Perhaps though if I may proffer a suggestion?”
“Sure. Fire away.”
“Write some better ‘shit’, as you call it.”

Sea (Somewhat of a Stream of Almost Consciousness)

The scariest thing to me…

Was at sea.

In the Indian Ocean, late one night

(That “IO” That Ho!)

Late at Night.

And the ship was tight.

And the waves were big.

Real big.

IO, She was angry.

And I was scared.

(No! HE Was scared).

I was never scared!

I was drinking coffee… And in between, walking on the bulkheads—all you sailors out there—can relate, and compare…

Never scared, but aside from my ‘coffee mates,” I knew, did, had done… the same drill… Too many times. (Fuckin’ Black-Shoe Navy!)

And if any of y’all find any of my  ‘Sea Stories” unbelievable…The preamble to any good sea story is “This is a no-shitter…”

And then there was Melville…I’ve been around the world and  once saw two white whales fuck.. I did. And there were dolphins… standing by… giggling.

 I have been to Australia.

Twice

And it follows, I have been to sea before:

And here, (for you purists) is the original, stolen from “Hejira”:

My Thanks to

“I’m just a simple soldier Son.

“With one more Year to Go.””

Daily Lenny: Uncle Earl (of Louisiana)

Hi Kids!

Today’s Daily Lenny is about Uncle Earl, Guv’na of the Great State of Louisiana.

Now…

Uncle Earl was nuts; that is why we loved Uncle Earl. Especially us Texans loved Uncle Earl, because he was just like our Governors: Whacked Out. Only wors’er.

Uncle Earl

Uncle Earl

Molly spoke about him:

“If Louisiana eventually elects Duke (David Duke) governor, don’t expect any sympathy from Texas. They sent us one of their barmy governors once before—Earl Long, who was Huey’s crazy brother. Earl finally got so bad his own family shipped him off to a nuthouse in Galveston. We kept him for six weeks and then let him go; he looked like a perfectly normal governor to us.”

From: Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?

Hereeee’s Lenny!! 

On Donald Trump! (Kids, this is the audio you need to listen to. Yes, the names have been changed to protect the guilty) Click the little arrow and follow the Orange Hair Road to Perdition.

belafonte

Harry

 Once Again…

I throw this in (I already  paid for it)

Why NOT?

Too tired…but y’all know the thrill drilll… more lenny here:

https://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/