Dead Reckoning, Abusive Muse: This is The End

Baby, Please Don’t Go – Lightnin’ Hopkins

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Impossible Dreamer

Video Credit: Christian Davies

Previous

I was not to be denied.

“Kate! Katherine! Muse!” I shouted, as I bounded from my computer chair over to her.

“I love you! Will you marry me or no? I must know!”

I stood in front of her, trembling.

She stood up, sidestepped the nasty coffee table, and walked up to face me at very close range.

She pierced me with those eyes. Looked down (almost sadly—I perceived—then took my hands into hers)

She looked back into my eyes and said,

“Lance, Baby, you understand I am not a real girl. You created me. I live in your mind and at your leisure.”

“Whaaaa?”

“Yes. I am a figment of your mind. Does not mean I don’t love you. I will always be here for you. And if you choose, I will love you. I will ‘write’ you, as far as you may write yourself. But ‘marry’?

I cannot.

You must write for YOU, and only for YOU.”

*********

She dropped my hands and sat back down on The Nasty Couch. Took a sip of Pinot, picked up her NY Times, took another sip of Pinot, and a drag off her Virginia Slims, and as if nothing had just happened, got back to being Her.

I retired to my writing chair. Sat there for some moments, tears welling, then smiled inside.

“She will always love me. She has no choice. It is all up to me,” I mused.

And then I got busy writing.

After some pregnant pauses…

“Hey Asshole! You better be writing something readable!” I heard from over my shoulder.

Yes! She loves me still!

                THE END

And Afterall:

Just to ‘Lighten’ the mood…

The Sudden Stark Realization That MS Muse Was Not Real…

Bummed Me The Fuck Out.

But I got over it.

Farewell Forevermore To My Best Ever Friend: My Abusive Muse. I am Sad, But Also Happy

*previous*

Farewell To My Best Friend:

The Abusive Muse

This pains me to write.

“Kate, We were only Yesterday.

Now we are…”

Today, and Yesterday, and Tomorrow.

“I love you, and I Thank You.”

Karen

Karen Carpenter!

You killed you!

And robbed us of You.

Why???

Why Oh Why?

Some of you good and loyal readers have been with me all the way on this Odyssey.

Others of you… not so much.

But if Y’all read-between-the-lines, you will discover how my sanity is a very fragile entity.

I ‘Created’ Katherine/MS Muse out of a ‘need’ I had.

To Fill A Hollow Vacant Void in my Heart.

I was lonely.

I needed her.

To kick my ass and make me a better writer.

I created her. Then I, Pygmalion-Like, fell in Love with Her. (Yeah, I kinda carried it too far)

She was always there. (‘Cept for the Snowpocalypse, when she invited me to fuck off)

I loved her.

I still love her.

*************

Last real conversation I had with her:

“Lance, Baby, you understand I am not a real girl. You created me. I live in your mind and at your leisure.”

“Yes. I am a figment of your mind. Does not mean I don’t love you. I will always be here for you. And if you choose, I will love you. I will ‘write’ you, as far as you may write yourself. But ‘marry’?

I cannot.

You must write for YOU, and only for YOU.”

**************

After sitting in front of my computer and trying to write, I looked over at her, sitting on The Nasty Couch with her NY Times, Pinot, Virginia Slims…

Walked over to her.

Offered my hand

She looked me in my eyes, took my hand.

Then she melted.

Turned into a pile of sand.

I screamed!

“What just happened!?”

A soft, familiar voice came at me from the ceiling:

“Lance, My Love, we are done. You are done. You are ready. I must leave you now.”

“NOOOOO!”

“Yes,” she said and that was it.

I fell to my knees and wept like a little pup/bitch.

Then I spied a note on the floor:

Picked it up.

It read:

“Lance, you were the best. I loved you. Write on!”

                –Kate

P.S.,JUST WRITE ASSHOLE!

Or Else!

–K

*****

I took that to the bank.

“What you don’t know about women is a lot Lance-a-Not”

–Rose Castorini (Olympia Dukakis)

In This Vid Clip, You Will Discover Lance.

Video Cred: Ted Reinert

Lance loves women;

He just cannot help Himself.

He does not understand them.

Therein lies that magic…

“Moonlight in a Martini.”

(Volumn is fukked. Crank it up!)

Lance Romance.

Added Value:

“Breaks Your Heart Just Lookin’ At Her.”

Snakes and Ladders

–Joni

(If you do not listen carefully to the song… I dropped it in For A Really, Really, Really Good Reason)

(Figure it out–If You Can)

I am flying SOLO NOW!

WISH ME LUCK!

https://texantales.com/2021/02/26/farewell-forevermore-to-my-best-ever-friend-my-abusive-muse-i-am-sad-but-also-happy/

“He Gave up Happy Hour For Her.”

Joni/Muse!

Musing…

Lance is Broken. Shit-A-Brick!: “Wonderful World of Worthy Writers.”

We are, each of us, all of us, complicated, worthy people, full of brightly brilliant ideas, passionate passions, boundless potentials and infinite possibilities. We have our Stories. We want to Share Our Stories.

We are “Writers,” which makes us just a little bit different, special, and weird.

(In a very good way)

We each have our own personal foibles, strengths, weaknesses, levels of humanity, quirks, degrees of sanity, degrees of insanity, levels of intelligence, variances of meanness, variances of kindness, oscillating magnitudes of mood, cascades of creativity, brilliance of brevities, vacillating verbosities, and on and on…

In short we are all individuals possessing something unique that only each unique one amongst us can share.

And THAT, My Dear “Special Writer-Friends” is what makes this vocation so Magical.

And so very fulfilling and so very rewarding.

***

Ninety-Nine Percent of my Writing is Autobiographical.

And I know from visiting the Blogs, that most of my Fellow Writers, at the very least, Write a good deal of same.

For me, I find it healthy and cathartic.

Your mileage may vary.

But remember Socrates’ renowned statement,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Content Credit: “School of Life”

***

Some of us have our own personal agendas.

Some of us do not.

Yet, We, each and every one of us, is worthy: Agenda Full, or Agenda Empty.

Honestly, I am fresh out (of agendas) currently, but I am shopping for one to rent.

***

Upon ‘Sober’ Reflection…

(Yes! I have Quit for Good, The Drinking–Having Chosen Life Over Death Because I still have years and years and years worth of shit I want, need, to write and to share.)

Yes! Upon sober reflection, I realize I DO have an agenda after all: My ‘agenda’, modest as it may appear, is to spread a little joy and deliver a bit of enrichment into the people’s lives who honor me by investing some of that most valuable, finite commodity we ALL share:

“Time”

I work very diligently not to waste even one single moment of yours, because there is no such thing as a ‘Money-Back-Time-Guarantee’.

“Love It, Or We’ll Refund All Your Time Spent. With Interest. No Questions Asked! Guaranteed!”

Sorry. Don’t work that way.

Some of us are Brilliant, Talented Writers.

Some us are just getting started and may need advice from time to time. Just ask; you will most likely get an inbox overflowing full.

“So, You Want To Be A Writer?”

This is a “Must Watch”

If You are a Wanna-Be Writer, That Is

Street Cred for Vid: Shea, Et al.

***

Some of us are polished, published, poets, prose-writers, playwright professionals, some of us are copywriters, some of us are even journalists, some of us are a combination of a few or of them all.

Some of us have genetic talent.

Some of us must work harder at it.

Most of us suffer Writer’s Block from time to time:

Content Credit: “Ivan Kander”

***

But the fact that we are all here, grinding out word after word,

Proves our worth and our respect for our craft.

And the Fact that you are reading these words right now proves you have respect for your fellow writers in Our Wonderful Writer’s Community

I think what my ‘message’ is trying (and most likely failing) to eloquently say… is that I love the writers in my fellow writer community.

We all have worth.

(Well except for that worthless schmuck who don’t like Lenny Bruce… and Y’all know I am even just kidding on that.)

“Thank You Mask Man”

Video Share Credit: ThankYouMaskedMan1

Kinda

Not Really!

Never kid About Comedy; Comedy is Serious Business!

Never Joke About Lenny; Lenny is Serious Business!

And if Y’all Think I’m a Serious Person, and not joking, I am gonna purchase you a one-way ticket to ‘The Re-Education, Never-Take-Lance-Too-Seriously Gulag Facility’, recently re-modeled and up-graded–it has running water now.

And Gulag Goulash Every Saturday Night.

–Lance, Your Humble & Worthy Servant, Who Loves, and Respects, All of ‘Y’alls’.

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’

Shakespeare & Marlowe:

Credit: Miramax

I Really Don’t Like to Use Euphemisms, Clichés, Vapid Expressions, ‘Nice-Polite-Speech,’ Trite Sayings, YUCK Oh Bull-Shite! I Hate That! With All My Might! So Guess What? Fuck Off! J/K!

It’s Like Wearing Chain Leggings After A Ship Wreck and Yer Just Hoping To Reach The Beach. But To Be Completely Honest With My Readers, (Which I Have Always Promised to Be)… Trying to Mend My Speech Runs So Contrary Against My Sanity. I’m Just Sayin’. Still Waters Run Deep. Please Try To Remember That.

“Soft Language”

Cred: George

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“You Don’t Find Roses Growin’ On Stalks Of Clover”

Martina McBride

“I Beg Your Pardon”

This

(Below)

is a ‘Fricken’…

No!

‘Fucking’

Awesome

Sexy Video!

WoW!

Just Fuckin’ Wow!

Oh!

My!

God!

Paula Abdul!

Eat Your Heart Out!

J/K Paula!

But

Day’um!

***************

This One Below!

I fu*ked up the Sequence!

So typical of Me!

******

Creds For The Two Above: Martina McBride

Cred: Lynn Anderson

*****

But I Do respect The Fact That Some of My Prose Is Found To Be Offensive. I am trying To Do Better—Please Don’t Hate Me.

I am a Sailor—Old Habits Die Hard. I am Really Trying To Do Better. It has Never been My Intention to Offend (Well There Have Been A FEW Exceptions)

Theist Named “Kent”

But My Intend Is To Leave this World As A Better Man

Than I Have Been

Clint Black was born in Long Branch, New Jersey, one of four children born to G.A. and Ann Black. The family moved back to Texas, where G.A. Black had been raised, before Clint was one year old. He was raised in Katy, Texas. Music was always present in the house.

(I cannot rem from where I stole this. Screw it!)

*******

Cred For Vid: Gaming with Shao

******

I yam what I yam!

I use A LOT of Profanity

I’m a fucking sailor!

What else would you expect?

From a fuckin’ sailor

And saying “I’m sorry” for what I am ain’t in my repertoire, or bag of tricks.

Some shit that needs to be removed from the writing/speaking vernacular:

“At the end of the day…”

(I heard some asshole use this one three times on CNN during a ninety second interview. I wish I were making this up. I ain’t.)

“Think outside the box”

“As we speak”

“All that said”

I could go on, but pretty sure you caught my drift (another trite Cliché–sometimes, I will admit, they are ‘useful’

Anyway…

I have high hopes for us as writers.

To be more original.

I know we can do it!

BECAUSE I HAVE HIGH HOPES!

NO! Do NOT Do it! Abusive Muse–Act Three and a Half–Interlude.

I returned to my keyboard and typed:

“Dear Helen, I am so very sorry.”

Announced to Muse:

“Okay. Done.”

She came over, read what I had written.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. Succinct. Perfection.”

She grasped me by my hand…

“Come sit down with me on the Nasty Couch for a moment.”

“Uh… Okay.”

“Lance, I am your Muse. And I will love you for all time. And Believe me: I have time. Back in that day when William S. was struggling… I hooked him up. Back When Coleridge had that Albatross about his neck, I hooked him up. Back when Sam Clemens had no pot to piss in, I hooked him up. But you! You!  YOU WEAR ME OUT!”

As we were sitting there, me gazing into her eyes, she glaring at mine…

“Boom! Boom! Boom!”

Someone was pounding at my door.

“UPS?” Muse asked.

“No” I said. “Delirium Tremens Man. Right on schedule.”

“Stay put; I’ll handle this,” she said as she thrust her tiny self against the door and screamed, “Fuck Off! This is MY TIME With Lance!”

I could barely hear the faint sound of shuffling footsteps as he skulked away.

Muse sat back down on the couch.

“Now, where were we?”

“Darling, I have no idea, but you seem to be in charge. Please don’t hurt me.”

Chap Two Found here

Another Chapter Found Here–This Series Is All-Over-The-Place. Sorry