Have a Wonderful, Happy, Beautiful, Bless’d Day: Yu’ll will All BE OK–All Be OK Yay!—I LOVE & Appreciate ALL Y’alls! All My Readers! All Four of Y’all!–Chug-A-Lug Chug-A-Lug Y’all!– Have One On Me! But–I Generally Drink Alone! (I Create Fewer Enemies That Way) P.S. My Life is a Train Wreck, But Y’all Knew This Already, Been Described That Way, By A Woman I tried to Love Once. Back in Navy Daze…. She’s all Just a Blurry Haze Now.

My Life is Like A Fukkin’ Hurricane!

Neil!

Bob!

(I AM IN lOVE—w/THE VIOLINST! wO-mAN!!)

Please Please Please Listen to The WORDS oF tHIS Fuckin’ song!

Who The Fuk is This Guy?

Oh! Wait!

I’ve Seen Him

In the Mirror!

Heaven!

Heaven!

I’m In Booze Heaven!

Cred: Bryan Adams

****

Booze Heaven!

I Have Nothing But Love For My Readers!

******

Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Grape wine in a Mason jar
Homemade and brought to school
By a friend of mine ‘n’ after class
Me and him and this other fool decide
That we’ll drink up what’s left
Chug-a-lug, so we helped ourself
First time for everything
Hmm, my ears still ring
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
4-H and FFA
On a field trip to the farm
Me ‘n’ a friend sneak off behind
This big old barn where we uncovered
A covered-up moonshine still
And we thought we’d drink our fill
And I swallered it with a smile
? Bll-bbb?, I run ten mile
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Jukebox ‘n’ sawdust floor
Sumpin’ like I ain’t never seen
And I’m just goin’ on fifteen
But with the help of my finaglin’
Uncle I get snuck in
For my first taste of sin
I said, “Lemme have a big old sip”
? Bll-bbb?, I done a double back flip
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
Make you want to holler hi-de-ho
Burns your tummy, don’tcha know?
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug

Roger And Me

Me and Roger!

(One of My Ex-Wives Turned Me Onto this—-

Cannot Remember

Which One—

Probably Lisa

The Shakespearean/Marlowe Scholar One!

You Can Be Happy If’n You’re Of A Mind To.

(But Yu Caint Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd!)

fun fact:

my first for real gF was third cousin to

Rogern Miller.

Truth story!

Yu Caint Look That Up!

You’ll Just have to take My Word fer it!

Sorry!

Wonderful World of Worthy Writers!

We are, each of us, all of us, complicated, worthy people, full of brightly brilliant ideas, passionate passions, boundless potentials and infinite possibilities.

We are “Writers,” which makes us just a little bit different, special, and weird.

(In a very good way)

We each have our own personal foibles, strengths, weaknesses, levels of humanity, quirks, degrees of sanity, degrees of insanity, levels of intelligence, variances of meanness, variances of kindness, oscillating magnitudes of mood, cascades of creativity, brilliance of brevities, vacillating verbosities, and on and on…

In short we are all individuals possessing something unique that only each unique one amongst us can share.

And THAT, My Dear “Special Writer-Friends” is what makes this vocation so Magical.

And so very fulfilling and so very rewarding.

***

Ninety-Nine Percent of my Writing is Autobiographical.

And I know from visiting the Blogs, that most of my Fellow Writers, at the very least, Write a good deal of same.

For me, I find it healthy and cathartic.

Your mileage may vary.

But remember Socrates’ renowned statement,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Content Credit: “School of Life”

***

Some of us have our own personal agendas.

Some of us do not.

Yet, We, each and every one of us, is worthy: Agenda Full, or Agenda Empty.

Honestly, I am fresh out (of agendas) currently, but I am shopping for one to rent.

***

Upon ‘Sober’ Reflection…

(Yes! I have Quit for Good, The Drinking–Having Chosen Life Over Death Because I still have years and years and years worth of shit I want, need, to write and to share.)

Yes! Upon sober reflection, I realize I DO have an agenda after all: My ‘agenda’, modest as it may appear, is to spread a little joy and deliver a bit of enrichment into the people’s lives who honor me by investing some of that most valuable, finite commodity we ALL share:

“Time”

I work very diligently not to waste even one single moment of yours, because there is no such thing as a ‘Money-Back-Time-Guarantee’.

“Love It, Or We’ll Refund All Your Time Spent. With Interest. No Questions Asked! Guaranteed!”

Sorry. Don’t work that way.

Some of us are Brilliant, Talented Writers.

Some us are just getting started and may need advice from time to time. Just ask; you will most likely get an inbox overflowing full.

“So, You Want To Be A Writer?”

Street Cred for Vid: Shea, Et al.

***

Some of us are polished, published, poets, prose-writers, playwright professionals, some of us are copywriters, some of us are even journalists, some of us are a combination of a few or of them all.

Some of us have genetic talent.

Some of us must work harder at it.

Most of us suffer Writer’s Block from time to time:

Content Credit: “Ivan Kander”

***

But the fact that we are all here, grinding out word after word,

Proves our worth and our respect for our craft.

And the Fact that you are reading these words right now proves you have respect for your fellow writers in Our Wonderful Writer’s Community

I think what my ‘message’ is trying (and most likely failing) to eloquently say… is that I love the writers in my fellow writer community.

We all have worth.

(Well except for that worthless schmuck who don’t like Lenny Bruce… and Y’all know I am even just kidding on that.)

“Thank You Mask Man”

Video Share Credit: ThankYouMaskedMan1

Kinda

Not Really!

Never kid About Comedy; Comedy is Serious Business!

Never Joke About Lenny; Lenny is Serious Business!

And if Y’all Think I’m a Serious Person, and not joking, I am gonna purchase you a one-way ticket to ‘The Re-Education, Never-Take-Lance-Too-Seriously Gulag Facility’, recently re-modeled and up-graded–it has running water now.

And Gulag Goulash Every Saturday Night.

–Lance, Your Humble & Worthy Servant, Who Loves, and Respects, All of ‘Y’alls’.

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’

Shakespeare & Marlowe:

Credit: Miramax

I am fleshing out a stand-alone on this song, dropped in below ….

No. that is a lie.

I wanna write about Michelle. And only Michelle.

And I shall.

Only write about Michelle.

CyberViewX v5.17.50 Model Code=66 F/W Version=1.37

But now…

I need sleep

Right now.

I need some sleep.

Stay tuned

Vid Cred: Folk Experience

Wonderful World of Worthy Writers!

We are, each of us, all of us, complicated, worthy people, full of brightly brilliant ideas, passionate passions, boundless potentials and infinite possibilities.

We are “Writers,” which makes us just a little bit different, special, and weird.

(In a very good way)

We each have our own personal foibles, strengths, weaknesses, levels of humanity, quirks, degrees of sanity, degrees of insanity, levels of intelligence, variances of meanness, variances of kindness, oscillating magnitudes of mood, cascades of creativity, brilliance of brevities, vacillating verbosities, and on and on…

In short we are all individuals possessing something unique that only each unique one amongst us can share.

And THAT, My Dear “Special Writer-Friends” is what makes this vocation so Magical.

And so very fulfilling and so very rewarding.

***

Ninety-Nine Percent of my Writing is Autobiographical.

And I know from visiting the Blogs, that most of my Fellow Writers, at the very least, Write a good deal of same.

For me, I find it healthy and cathartic.

Your mileage may vary.

But remember Socrates’ renowned statement,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Content Credit: “School of Life”

***

Some of us have our own personal agendas.

Some of us do not.

Yet, We, each and every one of us, is worthy: Agenda Full, or Agenda Empty.

Honestly, I am fresh out (of agendas) currently, but I am shopping for one to rent.

***

Upon ‘Sober’ Reflection…

(Yes! I have Quit for Good, The Drinking–Having Chosen Life Over Death Because I still have years and years and years worth of shit I want, need, to write and to share.)

Yes! Upon sober reflection, I realize I DO have an agenda after all: My ‘agenda’, modest as it may appear, is to spread a little joy and deliver a bit of enrichment into the people’s lives who honor me by investing some of that most valuable, finite commodity we ALL share:

“Time”

I work very diligently not to waste even one single moment of yours, because there is no such thing as a ‘Money-Back-Time-Guarantee’.

“Love It, Or We’ll Refund All Your Time Spent. With Interest. No Questions Asked! Guaranteed!”

Sorry. Don’t work that way.

Some of us are Brilliant, Talented Writers.

Some us are just getting started and may need advice from time to time. Just ask; you will most likely get an inbox overflowing full.

“So, You Want To Be A Writer?”

Street Cred for Vid: Shea, Et al.

***

Some of us are polished, published, poets, prose-writers, playwright professionals, some of us are copywriters, some of us are even journalists, some of us are a combination of a few or of them all.

Some of us have genetic talent.

Some of us must work harder at it.

Most of us suffer Writer’s Block from time to time:

Content Credit: “Ivan Kander”

***

But the fact that we are all here, grinding out word after word,

Proves our worth and our respect for our craft.

And the Fact that you are reading these words right now proves you have respect for your fellow writers in Our Wonderful Writer’s Community

I think what my ‘message’ is trying (and most likely failing) to eloquently say… is that I love the writers in my fellow writer community.

We all have worth.

(Well except for that worthless schmuck who don’t like Lenny Bruce… and Y’all know I am even just kidding on that.)

“Thank You Mask Man”

Video Share Credit: ThankYouMaskedMan1

Kinda

Not Really!

Never kid About Comedy; Comedy is Serious Business!

Never Joke About Lenny; Lenny is Serious Business!

And if Y’all Think I’m a Serious Person, and not joking, I am gonna purchase you a one-way ticket to ‘The Re-Education, Never-Take-Lance-Too-Seriously Gulag Facility’, recently re-modeled and up-graded–it has running water now.

And Gulag Goulash Every Saturday Night.

–Lance, Your Humble & Worthy Servant, Who Loves, and Respects, All of ‘Y’alls’.

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’

Shakespeare & Marlowe:

Credit: Miramax