For Some Bizarre Reason This Moldy Old Post Gets ‘Hits’ Everyday. I Have No Clue as to Why. Surely I Have “Written” Better Shit. Which Goes Mostly Un-Noticed & Ignored. I Have Worshiped/Been In-Love With Billie Holiday For All-My-Life

Billie Holiday poses for a studio portrait in 1939 in the United States. (Photo by Gilles Petard/Redferns)

–Save For A Few ‘Die-Hard Fans’–(Thank Y’all Die-Hard Fans) But Alas. Woe Is Me. I’d Like to Reach A Larger Audience.

(This is Mainly Just A ‘Puff-Piece’–Constructed of Stuff I Callously/Un-Abashedly/Shamelessly Stole Off the Internet)

***

Whatever–I Do Not Look Gift Horses in Their Mouths.

“Christopher Hitchens: On The Suicide of His Mother”

Yeah. That’s The Title Of this Shit-Post

***

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern:

This seems to be popular.

Of late.

fuk it.

Perhaps it is just the sign of the seasons….

“What’s Your Name?

Who’s Your Daddy?

Is He Rich Like Me?”

People Seemed to Have More fun In the Sixties.

But isn’t that Always the Way It Is?

We Always hearken to Our Past.

Why?

Our Future Is Right Now–

Meow

Cred: Some Walking Dead Zombies

***

Maybe we all want to commit suicide.

I have Pondered it Too Many Times

(But I Am A Coward)

Yet…Relinquish the world back to the roaches.

Surely they could do no worse, management – wise.

“To Die–Sleep No More”

The below is transcribed from Hitch’s book “Hitch-22”

Hitch 22 cigs

***

…because most of what I know about manic depression I first learned from Hamlet.

“I have of late,” the Prince of Denmark tells us, “but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth.” Everyone living has occasionally experienced that feeling, but the lines that accompany it are the best definition of the blues that was ever set down.

(“Tired of living, scared of dying” is the next-best encapsulation, offered in “Old Man River.”) Who would carry on with the unending tedium and potential misery if they did not think that extinction would even be less desirable or—as it is phrased in another of Hamlet’s mood-swing soliloquies—if “the ever-lasting” had “not set his canon ‘gainst self-slaughter”?

There are fourteen suicides in eight works of Shakespeare, according to Giles Romilly Feddnen’s study of the question, and these include the deliberate and ostensibly noble ones of Romeo and Juliet and of Othello.

It’s of interest that only Hamlet’s darling Ophelia, whose death at her own hands is not strictly intentional, it is the object of condemnation by the clergy. My own indifference to religion and refusal to credit any babble about an afterlife has, alas, denied me the hearty satisfaction experienced by Ophelia’s brother Laertes, who whirls on the moralizing cleric to say:

“I tell thee, churlish priest,

A ministering angel shall my sister be,

When thou liest howling.”

Memorable to be sure, but too dependent on the evil and stupidity of the heaven/hell dualism, and of scant use to me in deciding how it was that a thoughtful, loving, cheerful, person like Yvonne, who was in reasonable health, would want to simply give up.

I thought it might have something to do with what the specialists call “anhedonia,” or the sudden inability to derive pleasure from anything, most especially from the pleasurable. Al Alverez, in his very testing and demanding study of the subject, “The Savage God,” returns often to the suicide of Cesare Pavese, who took his own life at the apparent height of his powers.  

Don't stay here

“In the year before he died he turned out two of his best novels… One month before the end he received the Strega Prize, the supreme accolade for an Italian writer. ‘I have never been so much alive as now,’ he wrote, ‘never so young.’

A few days later he was dead. Perhaps the sweetness itself of his creative powers made his innate depression all the harder to bear.”

***

Thank you for reading.

-Lance

(We now return you to our regularly scheduled…)

For Reference:

I love Helena Bonham Carter… Cannot help myself. (This scene is disturbing: do Not Watch)

If You Watch Nothing Else, Please Please PLEASE  Watch This:

Credit: And watch it AGAIN!

Here now (I hope) is the proper credit:

https://www.youtube.com/user/jakuerika

Cred: jakuerika

It Appears Quite Within The Realm of Possibility That I May Have Been (Oh Horror) Mistaken All-My-Life.

For You See, When I First Got Into This Bloggin’ Biz, I Thought People Would Actually READ & COMMENT, AND FEED-BACK.

How Naive I Was Thirteen Years Ago!

Now, I Just Say, ‘Fuk it!’

I Write For My Own Edification.

***

I Always Drop Vids In To Accentuate/Expand/Make The Point of My Posts. I Know Most, if Not All of Y’all Never Look at them.

This Hurts My Heart, Because I Choose Them Carefully…

Whatever.

But Now, I Have Reached The Escape Velocity of Not-Giving-A-Fuk.

Have A Day.—A Nice One!

I May Have Found Religion. Or It Found Me. Or We Found Each Other. –Can’t Say ‘Re-Born’–

Because I Wasn’t Born:

I Was Squeezed Out Of A Bar Rag

*Heavy Sigh*

Seems The Ironic Joke Is On Me

Perhaps There Actually Is-A-God?

At This Point, I Am Ready To Believe In Just About ANYTHING

Lord Knows I’ve Been Wrong About Shit

Once or Twice Before

****

Ian Prowse sings:

‘Maybe There Is A God After All’

Cred For Vid: Liverpool Philharmonic

***

I Am Certainly Feeling Quite BLESS’D

Right About Now.

So Maybe

Just Maybe

Or Maybe… I am Just Lucky

Please Allow Me To Explain:

I Ran Outta Booze Days Ago

Not Really a Big Hairy Deal

(Just As Long as DT Man Stayed Away–He Did–Thank Baby Hey Zeus)

But I Had

ALSO

Run-Out-OF-Copenhagen!

Smokin’

(Empty, Try Another)

Credit: The Lovely Joni Mitchell

*****

This Was Bad Beyond BAD For Your Humble Author

I will have No Money Until The 10th of Never (SS Check June)

Copenhagen Cost Seven Bucks & Change Theses Days.

And Ninety Percent Of That Is State Tax!

Fu*k Me!

Anyway, I had been drinking Lots of Coffee–trying to Keep My Sanity Intact and Tryin’ to keep My ‘Snuff Jones’ at Bay.

Running Low On Coffee, I remembered My Savannah GF had sent me a case of Instant Hot Chocolate.

So I went rummaging about in My ‘Chocolate Box’

***

And Lo & Behold!

FOUND THREE CANS O’ COPENHAGEN

Residin’ Within!

Which I had apparently knocked into during an earlier inebriated state of Physical State and Forgotten All About.

Go Figger

Went Immediately Into MY HAPPY DANCE!

Pharrell Williams – Happy 

JUDY GARLAND AND BARBRA STREISAND –

Happy Days Are Here Again

Cred For Vid Share: George John

*****

Copenhagen & Copenhagen Angel Live Ned Ledoux:

Cred For Share: Ryan Horacek

***

First words out of my mouth–Spoken aloud in Fact–almost shouted:

“Hallelujah! Thank You GOD! Thank You JESUS!”

Oh Happy Day

Sister Act 2 

I Reiterate:

Maybe There Is-A-God

This Changes EVERYTHING In-My-World-View!

****

I am A Simple Man:

Simple Wants, Simple Desires, Simple Dreams, Simple Addictions, Simple Character Flaws.

Simple

And Yes! I Am A Sinner

Just Ask My Maternal Grandmother.

Bitch Was Always Tryin’ To Shove A Bible Up-My-Ass

You’ll Need A Ouija Board–Bitch Done Been Dead

****

Hint: She’s The One On The Right,

er…

Left

***

This Is VERY Insulting: Proceed With CAUTION. YEAH! I’M A FU*KIN’ MORON! GET THE F*CK OVER IT!

MORE Sailor – Shit! Fuk OFF! go gET Wreck’d, Wet, And Sandy! Andy! (Esoteric SEAL Training Ref)

Think I GiVe a Fuk? IF YoU ArR Hear Hear You DO.T HEaR To(o) FukKin’ Good. And take Toto Too With You! Do ya! You are Readin’ ThE Wrong FuCkin’ BlOg! What’s It All About?

THIS HAS TURNED INTO A RANT! DO NOT READ IT! It is Insulting, Disrespectful, And It WILL PISS YOU OFF! wILL sEVeREallLY PISS YOU ofF!

You Think I enjoy Living with Lance? If you Do, You are Fu*king STUPID!!!! AND YEAH! I LOVE TO Shit WHERE I eat! tHIS is JUST hOW i fuckin’ ROLL!

(iF You are concered for my SANITY or lack THEREOF, Your CONCERNS are WELL, well-founded. But never fear:

I WW2 WILL BE DEAD SOON!) But not today. OK? I still HAVE some assholes in my fucket bucket who have pissed me off!

And are in serious need of an ass-kickin’. Which I will be more than happy to administer. Believe me: They will miss me! Later! Much Later! But they will harbor fond memories of that ass-kickin’

Fuck ‘Leeky’ Buckets!

(Y’all think I’m ig’nor-ant?)

Caint spel?

Then yer two stupid to read me!

Go away!

OH

Fu*kin’

K?

Don’t waste yer fukkin’ dime

Yeah!

I shit where I eat!

So Fuckin’ What!

I am not here to tiptoe thru the fu*king two-lips!

“I was missing who I was” Guess What George? Me Too. But Not Any Longer.

I Know Exactly who/What I am:

An Asshole–Not Proud of it;

G’damn Sure NOT Ashamed of It!

“It’s Important In Life To Not Give-A-Shit”–George

Go ahead!

Flame me!

Good F*ckin’ Luck!

With

THAT!

I will hurt yer Fu*kin’ FEELINGS!

 

“Lean on me Baby!

“Fu*k You!! You Stupid  Bitch!”

“Goin’ To The Chapel…”

WordPress is Beginning to GET/Approch 

MY BAD SIDE!

mY last fu*kin’ NERVE!

hEY! You are APPROACHIN’ DAN’GER’ US F*CKIN;’ THERE!

TRUST ME

When I say this:

This is

a

Place

You do NOT

want

TO 

FU*KING VISIT!!!!!

WordPress!

Do NOT TRY

My

Gracious

GOOD

NATURE!

YOU WILL RUE

THE FU*KIN’ DAY!

THEY ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE

A VERY UNHAPPY EXPERIENCE!

MY FUC*IN’ TREAT! I MAY if NEED BE, DROP MY LAST

MOTHER-FU*KIN’ DIME

JUST TO Fly half-Way

‘Round The Whurl.

Just to have that satis-faction

of depositing round in yer dome

and 

watchin’ you bleed the f*ck

 out as I laugh  at yer

dumb ass thinking to yer

dumb ass-self with your last dying

breath

“Fu*k did I do to him?”

“You fu*ked up my posts Asshole! That is why I am killin’ yer dumb-ass! You are too STUPID TO BE STUPID! AND YOU NEED TO DIE MOTHER-F*CKER!”

Die MOTHER-FU*KER! Die!!!

Bye! Bye Bye!

good

FU*KIN’ BYE!

BE DEAD MOTHER-FUKER!

aND now

You shall!

Go ahead!

Kiss yer

ASS

Goodbye!

Bye fu*kin’ BYE!

Purple Haze!

Worthless Mother

Fu*ker!

You worthless!

Fucker of Your Mther!

You worthless

Piece-o-Shit

Cock-Sucker!

Kiss the 

SKY!

Kiss that Mother-Fu*kin’ 

Sky!

What’s it all about?

I am Atheist,

Capital A

Have Been

Ever Since I 

Learned To Read

This will never change.

Everyone knows this.

I am Not

Militant About it!

But Some

“Hyper Christians Keep Trying to “Save” Me!

Save Me From What?

Yes, I have Theist Friends.

I live in a State Flush With Theists!

I RESPECT THEM!

They Need to RESPECT ME!

(Is This Not What They Are Supposed to DO?)

Faith

What’s it all about?
Alfie?

I really wanna know.

cRED! here:

Catherine Mamontova

569 subscribers

happy NoW Markie??? You supercilly-ous prima-donna,

wanna-be Donna

ASSHOLE! gO Fuck yerself! Use This With My Blessing! You’re Welcome! Don’t EVEN MENTION IT!

https://texantales.com/2021/10/16/i-can-admit-when-im-wrong-even-when-i-dont-know-when-ive-been-wrong/

OH! Here is THE FU*KING LINK!

(tHAT Satisfy, sate you? Mark? Asshole)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48oLsDImC5A

BITCH!

FAKE BITCH!

HITCH PUTS IT BEST!

If You Be Not Afraid & Not Scared!

And Have a Fukkin’ Brain,

Watch THIS Hitch ‘Bitch-Slap’

GODDAMN IT!!!

WORDPRESS! THE Total Tonnage

of

Your

YOUR YOUR

TOTAL

STUPIDITY

COULD

SINK

THE

MIGHTY

FUCKING

BISMARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yU ARE Cordially

INVITED

TO

KISS MY ASS!!!!

Yeah!

I MISS MY MADELYN

SHE WAS THE ONLIEST ONE

WHO EVER

“UNNER-STOOD ME”

AND ‘GOT’ MY FUCKED-UP CENTS-O- HUMOR!

MOIST OF Y’ALL ARE PUT OFF BY IT! ASK ME HOW MANY FUKS I GIVE ABOUT YER LAME-ASS OPINIONS! MADDY’S OPION OF ME IS THE ONLY OPINION I EVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT!

GOGGMN HER!

BITCH

DIED

FIRST

SHE VIOLATED OUR

FUKKIN’

CONTRACT!

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEEP

ME

SAFE

FROM

ME!

I SUX

AT

FLYIN’

FUKKIN

SOLO

GOD

DAMN

YOU!

MADELYN!

YOU BROKE OUR

PACT!

You Broke My Heart All To Pieces!

YOU FUKKING BITCH!

yU

CUNT!

MOTHERFUCK!

HOW MUCH

I MISS YOU! YOU YOU BITCH YOU

WONDERFUL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

YOU BITCH ON WHEELS!

Madelyn!

Go fuck you!

For dying on me!

You fukkin’ cunt!

Two Missionaries Came, Un-Solicited A-Knocking, Actually Pounding, Rather Vociferously, at My Door–

I Was Endeavoring to Take-A-Much-Needed Nap But, Oh Hell No! They Would Not, Or Could Not… Be Sated. So, What Did This Cowboy Do? Decided To Fu*K Wid Dem!

Yet, I Aswered their Much needed / Heeded Call–Might Have Been a Damsel-in-Distress–For All I Knew…

Oh, Hell No!

Just two Morons!

“Oh Lord, Please Forgive Them—For They Know Not What They Do, Nor Who They Were Fukken With”

And of course I was Respectful–I am NOT a Complete Moron! Had They Been Mormons From Utah, I would have introduced them to the under-side of my boots, but these were Texans, and being same, deserved some semblance of my respect. I invited them in…

I AM Only a Half-Way Moron.

And Let Me ‘En-Lighten Y’all:

Neither One Looked Even Remotely Like Emmy Lou.

If’n They Had,

Things May have Gone Off Some-What Smoother for Them…

But, Alas.

I DID Try To Explain to These Two Idiots How Much I Respected Folks of Faith.

But I am an Atheist.

“Forever how long?” One inquired.

“Ever since I learned to read,” I responded.

Our ‘Conversation’ kinda went South after that.

FAITH:

There’s a Hallelujah on The Lips Of All Good Dyin’ Men

The High-Women

“Heaven is a Honky-Tonk”

My Relationship with ‘God’ is rather, shall we say, ‘Complicated’

Flew, Like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Right Over Their Heads…

Again, Alas. I gave Up

And then I Cordially Invited Them to Go Get Fu*kd

Emmylou!

I love You!

For You and You Alone,

I would go to Church

FAITH

Bull-Shit Department:

Cred: Carlin

****

NO! I Learned to Read

Story at Eleven

To Be Continued.

I Have Only Scratched the Surface of

This Holy Encounter

Stray Tuned

I am so sick of Lance! He is Beginning To Bore Me. Je Sweee Malad et Fatigue’d, Or… Pass The Biscuits & Ammunition. I Do Grow Weary of my Endeavors to Edit This: Screw It!–Allow It To Stand Alone As Original Writ

***

Twisted Sister –

We’re Not Gonna Fake it

Anymore 

***

, BUT nEVER CAN GET FUCKIN’ LAID! & FUCKIN’ FATIG yEAH!’D=odd dam (Dat’s French! Y’all! I am so fukkin’ sick of LANCE! sOMEONE SHOOT this FUCKER! rIGHT bETEEN THE FUK-in’ EYES! IN THE FUKKIN G EYEE!

so Pissed off at that God! You know the one! THAT ONE WHO NEVER EXISTED! HE SOLD ME A BILL GOODS! hIS ASS was writing writing was writing Checks He Was Never Gonna CASh!

What as ASS! hOLE! What’s It All About?

THIS HAS TURNED INTO A RANT! DO NOT READ IT! It is Insulting, Disrespectful,

And It WILL PISS YOU OFF! wILL sEVeREallLY PISS YOU ofF! I really wante to FUCKING BELIEVE! BUT I LEAR’ND TO READ! MY HUGE FUKKIN’ MONU-MENTAL FUCK-UP!!!!! Fuk this! My mental mind is BLOWN!!! AWAY! (i may be havin’ some “issues”)—insanity ones! And I cannot spel nor typy fer caca!

i should learn how to

MEND MY FUCKIN’ SPEECH A BIT!

naw!

FUK THAT! tHAT would BORE y’all! My Largess fukking FEAR is to become “borin’ & Dict-able!— Pre-Dict- Un-able! to wRITE THE true Shit Surfaces in my FUKKING BRAIN

 

 

What’s it all about?

I am Atheist,

Capital A

Have Been

Ever Since I 

Learned To Read

This will never change.

Everyone knows this.

I am Not

Militant About it!

But Some

“Hyper Christians Keep Trying to “Save” Me!

Save Me From What?

Yes, I have Theist Friends.

I live in a State Flush With Theists!

I RESPECT THEM!

They Need to RESPECT ME!

(Is This Not What They Are Supposed to DO?)

Faith

What’s it all about?
Alfie?

I really wanna know.

cRED! here:

Catherine Mamontova

569 subscribers

happy NoW Markie??? You supercilly-ous prima-donna,

wanna-be Donna

ASSHOLE! gO Fuck yerself! Use This With My Blessing! You’re Welcome! Don’t EVEN MENTION IT!

https://texantales.com/2021/10/16/i-can-admit-when-im-wrong-even-when-i-dont-know-when-ive-been-wrong/

OH! Here is THE FUCKING LINK!

(tHAT Satisfy, sate you? Mark? Asshole)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48oLsDImC5A

BITCH!

FAKE BITCH!

HITCH PUTS IT BEST!

If You Be Not Afraid & Not Scared!

And Have a Fukkin’ Brain,

Watch THIS!

GODDAMN IT!!!

WORDPRESS!

THE TOTAL TONNAGE

OF

YOUR STUPIDITY

COULD / AND WOULD

SINK

THE

MIGHTY

FUCKING

BISMARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll get to the MOTHER-FUCKIN’ Credits LATER!

i AM IN pissed off mode RIGHT NOW

AND i HAVE

ZORO

000000

ZRRO ZORRO

NO

Fucks

Worth

Givin’ a single fuck

ABOUT!

AND Y’ALL KNOW I DO

NOT

LOVE ME

WHEN

I FIND ME

HERE!

GODDAMN YOU GOd!

DO SOMETHING!

INSTALL

UPLOAD

DOWNLOAD

A NEW

FUKCIN’

ALGORY-RHYTM!

I’M TIRED OF YOUR

SAME OLD

FUKKIN’

SONG

SO WRONG!

SO FUCKIN’

LONG

HAVE A

CHAT

WITH

YER

BRAT!

WHAT WAS

HIS

FUCKIN’ NAME A=GIN?

hEY-ZEUS?

FUCK YOU GOD

GET

OUTTA MY HEAD!

YOU ARE NOT

WELCOME

FUCKIN’

HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!