(Apologies to Ogden Nash)
God in His wisdom let people die
God in His wisdom made them all fry
The People, they cried
Why Dear God Why?
God in His wisdom
All part of my Plan
Don’t ask me again
I am that I am
God in His wisdom
Boo Hoo and Boo Hoo
The People they cried,
Dear God, Oh Dear God,
Even We True?
God in His wisdom, Yes
Even you
God in His wisdom made sure we all knew
That God with His wisdom,
Is an Asshole
Tried and True Blue
And Jesus wept
Boo… Hoo!
(RIP, My Old, Old, Old, Old Friend)
Barney’s not buyin’
The bullshit they’re tryin’
Space rock his ending
Not God’s will unbending
They say the Big Bang
Just weren’t a real thang
They ‘know’ evolution’s
Not their solution
Yet science creates
Kids who think straight
It don’t take no sleuth
To find the true truth
Religion has pending
A major upending
Then faster than light
Their god turns to shite
Recently… (A while back)
I killed my FB account. (This is a habit with me)
Yep
For reasons I’d rather not disclose, but numero one’oh is detailed below:
Anyway, I grew weary of reading about how much Jesus loves me, how I need to say ‘amen’ if I agree all the time. (They never tell ya what exactly to say when you do NOT agree), et cetera, et al. So… I just say what I feel, which generally gets me into trouble.
So.. I said some evil things.
Have since apologized.
Been offered a promise of a promise back in Iraq (rhymes, don’t it?)
I will go there.
In’shall’allah
–Peace
(Lance)
The point of this post is thus:
I am back on FB; for whatever good that might mean. (or not mean)
-L
And yes: I have been in – love with Joni Mitchell for neigh onto forty year here.
Oh! And I love Emmy Lou… Too!
And.. Frank Zappa, and Tom Waits, and, Carly Simon, And Lenny Bruce, and… I suppose my love comes cheap.
Sorry ’bout that. So sorry Wilson.
(Truly)
This makes more sense to me than all my ‘recent rants’ combined and then doubled.
Thank You Anna.
(If you are religious, you may have swerved into the wrong page.)
Even that statement is wrong. It presupposes that religious folk do not have a sense of humor, or that they are intolerant of not-religious folk. I know of only one religion which is totally intolerant and not open to sense of humor. I don’t need to name it, but we all know its name (Shhh…. Don’t tell. But it starts with an M and ends with an ‘um’. Yeah! You guessed it: “Methodist-um” )
(Now I know, I have been uncharacteristically silent on the ISIS CRISIS in specific and ‘Religion Poisons Ever’Thing’ in General. I am ‘back-building’, much like that volcano in Iceland. What you may experience here, today, is just a fissure, impotently spewing. ‘Fissuring’, if you will. Don’t worry: The Big Bang is coming folks and it ain’t gonna be nothin’ nice.)
Shhhhh…. don’t tell. Keep yer head, and yer wits, and yer tits, and yer clits about you.
So… Don’t speak. Bad for your health: ‘Speaking.’
Listen / Watch Here Below: And Christopher’s last line (in case you missed it)
“Stay cool.”
So ‘be cool’ and watch it, for it is timely, given our present present.
Video Credit:
Oral Roberts
Pope John XXIII
http://texantales.com/category/lenny-bruce/
And just for fun:
****
The Greatest Story Ever Told (If told at Woodstock)
(And seriously Y’all, y’all need to watch the video First)
But before we go there enter:
This Post Will PISS some people Off (IF I am doing my job)
However I do NOT want to Piss Anyone Off (Not my job)
Ambiguous? Yeah!
So, therefore, and furthermore, and forevermore: I put below the ‘continue reading’ button.
And don’t shoot me: I just play piano here… on Tuesdays… and for milk money… for the kids.
The video is germane. Watch it.
Cheers, Peace, Blessings, Love and Happiness & Joy (and I do mean all of that shit. Sincerely. Hey by the way, Anyone seen Joy? She was just here a minute ago…)
Cast of Characters:
Mary, Mother Mary, Virgin Mary, Mother of All Inventions.
Joseph, Joe, Just Plain Joe, Cuckold, Erstwhile Surrogate Father of Jesus.
Ya gotta love Joe. Ya just gotta.
Baby Jesus, aka Baby Hey Zeus, aka, Christmas… Pre-sents
Not even gonna comment on this one, but, be my guest.
Saint Peter
Jesus Playing with the Mothers of Immaculate Conception, circa 0014 AD
Jesus grew up; tried to make a living, Playing Gigs.
But then…
Father told him to hang a right at Albequerky: Go to Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel; see the people they will love your act. (He said)
You Really Didn’t Believe That “Rode Into Town on an Ass” bit did you?
“Would Jesus wear a Rolex on his TV show? Fuck Yeah!”
No! Seriously,”
“Check it out”
“I’m There Dude!”
Brother Failwell
Then Dad said, “Go Preach Your Ass Off!
And Jesus Said, “We’re there Dude! Just look at ‘em!”
Case Rested
Yay! Jesus!
“They’re eatin’ this shit up!
Hey! Judas! Come check this out!
Judas: Enema needing to Happen. “Nothing to see here; move along…”
Mary Mag! You too! (C’mere Baby!)”
“Sorry Dude. Busy. Get back to me, Yeah? Laters…BFF!”
“But Mary!? You carry… My Mom’s name! And now you tarry? Don’t make no sense!”
“Ah shit!
Here come those Romanians Again! Don’t these people ever give up? Gotta go!”
I love the smell of burnt Jesus in the morning
“As God as My Wit-less-ness, I shall never be hungry again! (As long as I have these radishes)”
Last Toke, I mean Last Munchies
Joe! Go Pick some Radishes. Jesus is hungry. And stop smokin’ that shit!
I did not put in The Crucifixion/Ressurection, (mainly because I don’t believe that shit and also because I could not find an example in the show) and also, mainly because at
Woodstock… drum roll please:
It’s OK Jesus: I’m doin’ fine, but Thank You for askin’.
And Thank YOU to anyone who has travell’d this far with me.
Cheers,
Lance
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