UPDATED! I LOVE SOUTHERN! Revist Please! I Put A Lot of My Time & Inebriated Energy / Soul Into It. HAHAHAHA! (Nevermind–Move Along–Nothin’ To See Here)

This Below is Brilliance in a Bottle!

Watch it Mister / Misses

Gideon checked out, and he left it no doubt”

(Just as Lance is About to–Happy Trails And Good Luck Humanity!)

Vid Cred: A Headsup

I LOVE SOUTHERN!

Cliff Notes/Teaser Version:

Full Album.

Must Listen,

or if not,

Why Are You Even Here?!

Vid Cred for Share:WCW

***

Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.”

Author’s Note: I love Brother Dave becuz he was always so up-beat—Never Down! Just a Happy Man (and a drug addict)–which killed him in the end, but we have his work to cherish and to hold. And to revisit again and again and again. Caint take that away from me!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just my opinion.

“See? I don’t drink alcohol, ’cause I don’t want no fat liver… but that ain’t no testimony. You may have your liver to do as you please.”

“But you talk so much politics!” I’m sick and tired of politics!”

What I’m re-reading right now:

(Yes! I’ve Read Them All!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Years_of_Lyndon_Johnson#Book_Four:_The_Passage_of_Power_.282012.29

220px-Robert_caro_2012

Added Value:

PREACH IT STEVE!

My Brother!

In  Disarm & Harm Those 

MOTHER-FUCKERS! “

“i cAME hOME wITH A bRAND-nEW pLAN”

(yEAH! aLL  cAPs KEY IS sTILl wREwReCkR’D) noT To meNenTinTIOoN sPEeil chEk IS fUcKeD

White Trash?

C’est Moi!

I LOVE YOU BROTHER DAVE!!!!

YOU ENRICHED MY LIFE!!!!

YOU ROCK JERRY!

*********

BAREFOOT JERRY & THE CDB!

Charlie!

Saw Him Perform Once Live at Some Casino in Vegas–IF I am honest–And Y’all Know I Always Am–His Live Show That Night… SUCKED!

I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED!

So I went and got drunker

And dropped Two Grand at the Blackjack Tables.

Just To drown my sorrows

ELVIN! (NOT ELVIS!)

MORE ‘ELVIS!’ HAHAHAHAHAHA!

****

JANIS!

MY LOVE

BOBBIE G!

MAIN LOVE – OF – MY – LIFE!

This song Haunts My DREAMS AT Night

Because I am Suicidal!

Cred for Vid Share: Mettz Musik

************

BUGS!

SOUTHERN BUGS!

Don’t Fuck Around With Them

(They Doan Play!)

THANK YOU Lynyrd!

JUST A LIL’ OL’ BAND FROM TEJAS!

MY MAN!

Marshall Tucker Band!

Don’t Get Much More ‘Southern’

(Or TEXAN)

Than This!

***

Author’s NOTE:

I’ll Get Around to Crediting All The Vid Sharer’s

But NOT

Now!

I am too Drunk to BE BOTHERED!

RIGHT NOW!

AT THIS MOMENT!

***

My Darling!

My Texan!

My TEXAS DARLING!

Tanya!

You’re Such a Slut!

I LOVE You For That!

***

Yeah!

I’m Southern!

***

Related For Steve Earle!

Sellin’ Dope and Whiskey!

***

“So I Had One more For desessert”

Kris!

(Brownsville, Texas)

Poignant

Too Much So!

DaughterS

I nee

d!

OnE!

One thAt willl Love Me!

N’ MaTTer Not

Vid Cred: Who Gives a Shit at This Point?

Obviously I don’t because I am breakin’ my Own Rules!

NEVER FUCK WITH ME

I AM INSANE

I WILL KILL YOU!

THRICE!

THEN

I will stand over your dead self

And Laugh

***

FIVE o’cLOK

Now wHat?

“And The Wind…

Blows Me Like A Paper Cup…

Down The Highway…”

Cred: Bee Doubya!

“I got a long long ride”

Hazel Eyes

She’s Not too Pretty…

But a beautiful smile!

She just said…

MUST, SIMPLY MUST RE-POST Becuz I Love The Man! He Has Given Me Too Many Laugh Out Loud Moments! “Braum’s Vern. Braum’s. Know what I mean?”

Video Construction Cred: KP2013Rules

****

Jim Varney studied Shakespeare at the Barter Theater in Abingdon, Virginia. Most folks don’t know he began his career as a Thespian. He is of course, most remembered for portraying ‘Earnest’ in hundreds of commercials during the Eighties and Nineties. (And for a few horrible movies based on the same character) I caught my first “Know-what-I-mean-Vern” commercial while living in Nacogdoches, Texas. Instant Bromance. It was for Braum’s. I loved Braum’s. They absolutely did make the best burgers in all of Christendom. And their ice cream weren’t bad neither.

Some may think performing Southern Humor is easy, simple, and formulaic. I guess if based on Larry-The-Cable-Guy, or Foxworthy–‘you-just-might-be-a-redneck” or any number of clones of same–you’d be correct. Not that I am saying these gents don’t have talent and a mass appeal, but if you listen to the likes of Brother Dave Gardner or Kinky Friedmam and The Texas Jewboys, or even Lewis Grizzard you might come away with a new-found love of a Southern humor that is truly funny on top of being cerebral, philosophical, and just a mite bit more poignant—and lasting. To me, comedy is serious business. And yes, I am rather a snob about it–Please don’t shoot me; I’m only the piano-player in this joint.

Feel free to post some comments about your favorite comics and why you love ‘em. Or, if you prefer, why I am full of shit. If you list Lenny Bruce, I will send you a free life-time pass to any theme park of your choice and a Mickey Mouse pencil sharpener. “Lance! Leave Lenny out of it! He was from New-York-City fer Chrissakes!”

Git a rope.

“Oh yeah? So was Jerry Jeff Walker, but y’all dun forgave him, din’t ya?”

If you are not familiar with Varney, please take five minutes and watch this collage. If you are familiar, I believe you will enjoy revisiting his humor. Ya see? The Eighties were not completely devoid of culture.

Thank you for reading (and watching). I appreciate your time. Know whut I mean?

*************

BONUS ADDED ADDED

FOXWORTHY:

Jeff Foxworthy – You Might Be A Redneck If…

Revist This! I Cannot Stop Fucking Adding to IT!

I LOVE SOUTHERN!

Cliff Notes/Teaser Version:

Full Album.

Must Listen,

or if not,

Why Are You Even Here?!

Vid Cred for Share:WCW

***

Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.”

Author’s Note: I love Brother Dave becuz he was always so up-beat—Never Down! Just a Happy Man (and a drug addict)–which killed him in the end, but we have his work to cherish and to hold. And to revisit again and again and again. Caint take that away from me!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just my opinion.

“See? I don’t drink alcohol, ’cause I don’t want no fat liver… but that ain’t no testimony. You may have your liver to do as you please.”

“But you talk so much politics!” I’m sick and tired of politics!”

What I’m re-reading right now:

(Yes! I’ve Read Them All!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Years_of_Lyndon_Johnson#Book_Four:_The_Passage_of_Power_.282012.29

220px-Robert_caro_2012

Added Value:

PREACH IT STEVE!

My Brother!

In  Disarm & Harm Those 

MOTHER-FUCKERS! “

“i cAME hOME wITH A bRAND-nEW pLAN”

(yEAH! aLL  cAPs KEY IS sTILl wREwReCkR’D) noT To meNenTinTIOoN sPEeil chEk IS fUcKeD

White Trash?

C’est Moi!

I LOVE YOU BROTHER DAVE!!!!

YOU ENRICHED MY LIFE!!!!

YOU ROCK JERRY!

BAREFOOT JERRY & THE CDB!

ELVIN! (NOT ELVIS!)

MORE ‘ELVIS!’ HAHAHAHAHAHA!

****

JANIS!

MY LOVE

BOBBIE G!

MAIN LOVE – OF – MY – LIFE!

This song Haunts My DREAMS AT Night

Because I am Suicidal!

BUGS!

SOUTHERN BUGS!

Don’t Fuck Around With Them

(They Doan Play!)

THANK YOU Lynyrd!

JUST A LIL’ OL’ BAND FROM TEJAS!

MY MAN!

Marshall Tucker Band!

Don’t Get Much More ‘Southern’

(Or TEXAN)

Than This!

***

Author’s NOTE:

I’ll Get Around to Crediting All The Vid Sharer’s

But NOT

Now!

I am too Drunk to BE BOTHERED!

RIGHT NOW!

AT THIS MOMENT!

***

My Darling!

My Texan!

My TEXAS DARLING!

Tanya!

You’re Such a Slut!

I LOVE You For That!

***

Yeah!

I’m Southern!

***

Related For Steve Earle!

Sellin’ Dope and Whiskey!

***

“So I Had One more For desessert”

Kris!

(Brownsville, Texas)

Poignant

Too Much So!

DaughterS

I nee

d!

OnE!

One thAt willl Love Me!

N’ MaTTer Not

Vid Cred: Who Gives a Shit at This Point?

Obviously I don’t because I am breakin’ my Own Rules!

NEVER FUCK WITH ME

I AM INSANE

I WILL KILL YOU!

THRICE!

THEN

I will stand over your dead self

And Laugh

***

FIVE o’cLOK

Now wHat?

“And The Wind…

Blows Me Like A Paper Cup…

Down The Highway…”

Cred: Bee Doubya!

“I got a long long ride”

Hazel Eyes

She’s Not too Pretty…

But a beautiful smile!

She just said…

Greatly Expanded! Added VALUES! Or How Lance LOVES His SOUTHERN Heritage!! “I HATE POLITICS! (Just Kidding!–I LOVE Politics–Wood Tics, Bed Tics, Dog Tics, All Tics! “They all Parasitical”) “Hip-Ocrocy”

I LOVE SOUTHERN!

Cliff Notes/Teaser Version:

Full Album.

Must Listen,

or if not,

Why Are You Even Here?!

Vid Cred for Share:WCW

***

Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.”

Author’s Note: I love Brother Dave becuz he was always so up-beat—Never Down! Just a Happy Man (and a drug addict)–which killed him in the end, but we have his work to cherish and to hold. And to revisit again and again and again. Caint take that away from me!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just my opinion.

“See? I don’t drink alcohol, ’cause I don’t want no fat liver… but that ain’t no testimony. You may have your liver to do as you please.”

“But you talk so much politics!” I’m sick and tired of politics!”

What I’m re-reading right now:

(Yes! I’ve Read Them All!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Years_of_Lyndon_Johnson#Book_Four:_The_Passage_of_Power_.282012.29

220px-Robert_caro_2012

Added Value:

PREACH IT STEVE!

My Brother!

In  Disarm & Harm Those 

MOTHER-FUCKERS! “

“i cAME hOME wITH A bRAND-nEW pLAN”

(yEAH! aLL  cAPs KEY IS sTILl wREwReCkR’D) noT To meNenTinTIOoN sPEeil chEk IS fUcKeD

I LOVE YOU BROTHER DAVE!!!!

YOU ENRICHED MY LIFE!!!!

YOU ROCK JERRY!

BAREFOOT JERRY & THE CDB!

ELVIN! (NOT ELVIS!)

MORE ‘ELVIS!’ HAHAHAHAHAHA!

****

JANIS!

MY LOVE

BOBBIE G!

MAIN LOVE – OF – MY – LIFE!

BUGS!

SOUTHERN BUGS!

Don’t Fuck Around With Them

(They Doan Play!)

THANK YOU Lynyrd!

JUST A LIL’ OL’ BAND FROM TEJAS!

MY MAN!

Marshall Tucker Band!

Don’t Get Much More ‘Southern’

(Or TEXAN)

Than This!

***

Author’s NOTE:

I’ll Get Around to Crediting All The Vid Sharer’s

But NOT

Now!

I am too Drunk to BE BOTHERED!

RIGHT NOW!

AT THIS MOMENT!

***

My Darling!

My Texan!

My TEXAS DARLING!

Tanya!

You’re Such a Slut!

I LOVE You For That!

***

Yeah!

I’m Southern!

***

Related For Steve Earle!

Sellin’ Dope and Whiskey!

Had to REPOST THIS ONE Cuz I just Cannot Leave it Hanging: I Forgot to ADD In My favorite Bits! I HATE POLITICS! (Just Kidding!–I LOVE Politics–Wood Tics, Bed Tics, Dog Tics, All Tics! “They all Parasitical”) “Hip-Ocrocy”

I LOVE SOUTHERN!

Cliff Notes/Teaser Version:

Full Album.

Must Listen,

or if not,

Why Are You Even Here?!

Vid Cred for Share:WCW

***

Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.”

Author’s Note: I love Brother Dave becuz he was always so up-beat—Never Down! Just a Happy Man (and a drug addict)–which killed him in the end, but we have his work to cherish and to hold. And to revisit again and again and again. Caint take that away from me!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just my opinion.

“See? I don’t drink alcohol, ’cause I don’t want no fat liver… but that ain’t no testimony. You may have your liver to do as you please.”

“But you talk so much politics!” I’m sick and tired of politics!”

What I’m reading now:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Years_of_Lyndon_Johnson#Book_Four:_The_Passage_of_Power_.282012.29

220px-Robert_caro_2012

Added Value:

PREACH IT STEVE!

I LOVE YOU BROTHER DAVE!!!!

YOU ENRICHED MY LIFE!!!!

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

Yes. A Repost. If you do nothing else, please scroll down and listen to the clip. It is hysterical (and real) Even better.

Cheers Y’all and Happy Saturday    Oops! Sunday (is it?)  

*** 

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America.

I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4E_Nrm0j8k) once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of course to the Vietnam War—which he inherited. Yes, I realize I am gonna get some push back. Favorably mention ‘LBJ’ even today and you best stand by for some unhappy and contentious words.

Young Daddy Bird

Young Daddy Bird

The problem I have, in general, when talking to folks about Johnson is that most are ignorant of the man, his history, his upbringing; his good works: Rural electrification for Texas. Medicare, Civil Rights, The Great Society (never really came to fruition, due to Vietnam) and so on.

Once he became ‘The Accidental President’ he took JFK’s dreams and made them reality. Johnson could do that. Why? Because he was the consummate politician—far more effective than Jack Kennedy. JFK’s dreams were hollow pipes. Johnson made them happen. This is historical fact: For those of you who would care to search it out. For those who don’t really care to do that: Just-Trust-Me on this one, ‘cause I am a Texan, and Texans don’t lie (overmuch).

I have read all of Robert Caro’s books (http://www.robertcaro.com/) on LBJ and I have done my own research, and I have my own memories.

During the Sixty-Four election, my Mom, the original Hippy Chick informed me she was voting for Goldwater.

“Goldwater! Mom! Are you serious?”

“Yes Son. He is right for America.”
“‘Right?!’ Right don’t even come close: just to the right of Attila the Hun.” (Even at that tender age of seven, I was politically astute. Honestly.)

Our country does not produce colorful leaders like LBJ anymore. Much of the blame must be placed on the information revolution and the manifestation of the instant sound bite. I am not bemoaning the Information Age. I would not be able to throw my thoughts so carelessly about to the entire world if it were not for this Internet Thing we all embrace. All I am saying is one must ponder how many potential great leaders are out there, but refuse to step up to the plate simply because they do not wish to have every word they have ever uttered tweeted or twerked or posted or face-booked for all to see. Some things should still be classified as TMI. That is just good manners.

What if JFK had had the internet to deal with? We would all have known of his affair with MM. WWBS? What would Bill ‘Oh Really’ Say? We would have been ass-deep in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Fox and CNN and even MSNBC would have burned more video on JFK’s infidelity. Castro would have loved it. Just sayin’…

My Step-sister worked for Oliver Stone on the film JFK. She was one of the on-set-dressers. We got into a heated argument over the whole conspiracy thing. She was convinced that LBJ was behind it all. I know quite a lot about LBJ as I have mentioned. I have done my research and I love Texas history.

Anyway I asked her upon what she based her unwavering belief.

She said, “That photograph of Johnson taking the oath of office on Air Force One in Dallas.”

Smug Ladybird?

Smug? Ladybird? (Just behind his right hand, in case y’all don’t recognize her) Of course, that is Jackie on the other side.

“You’re shitting me,” I said.

“Look at that photo and see how smug Ladybird looks in it. You just know then and there, she knew the whole thing.”

“I think I need a drink,” was all I could muster by way of response.

(Oh! And my step-mother worked for Jack Ruby: I know some shit about it)

Just sayin’…

I am not writing here as an apologist for LBJ. My focus is on the wonderful Texan caricature character he was. His humor, his down-to-earth’ed-ness, his vibrant lust for life, his convictions, and his larger-than-worldly-life persona: His ‘Texan-ness’.

Therein lies the rub for me. Johnson could be a buffoon. He could be portrayed as an idiot. He could be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He would be chastised and eventually ostracized.

But he got shit done!

He was a great, moral, honorable man.

No one will ever convince me otherwise (but you are certainly welcome to try)

Watch and listen to the Video Clip. It proves my point (and it is hysterical). These tapes were released a few years back. I have them all.

(http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/dictabelt.hom/content.asp)

Priceless they are (His Family Jewels)

Comments would be appreciated here, no matter which direction you lean.

***

I just throw this in, ’cause it is my blog and I like it.

Peace!